The Act of Uniformity had been passed in January of that year. It ordered that the Book of Common Prayer be used by all ministers. Failure to use it would mean that they forfeited their stipends, and there would be heavier—and indeed severe—punishments for second and third offenses.

I received a call from Chancellor Rich, who informed me that the Act of Uniformity must be obeyed by all, and there could be no exceptions. I told him that I would worship in my own way, and I knew from his response that he would be afraid to take drastic action against me. Once more I thanked my cousin, the Emperor.

I was told that my Comptroller, Sir Robert Rochester, and my chaplain, Hopton, were to return with Rich and his men that they might answer certain questions which the Council wished to put to them.

I felt defiant, for I sensed in Rich a desire not to offend me. The times were uncertain. Edward did not look as though he would live to maturity. I was after all the next in succession. It was true that there were many powerful men who would try to prevent my coming to the throne, but who could say what would happen? So … Rich was determined not to upset me too much.

I said, “I am afraid my Comptroller is much too busy to leave the household at present; as for my chaplain, he has been sick and is not yet recovered.”

I was amazed at his meekness. He and his party accepted my word and left.

But that was not the end of the matter. There was a further summons, this time from the Protector himself. Rochester's and Hopton's presence was requested by the Council.

I realized that I could not refuse to send them, for if I did their next move would be to come and take them away; it was better for them to go of their own accord rather than as prisoners.

I wondered whether they would be put into the Tower. There would be an outcry if they were. I myself would protest, and I would make sure that it was known that I did. The trouble all over the country must have made them pause for thought, for Sir Robert Rochester and Hopton returned shortly. They were to try to persuade me to forsake my old ways in religion and consider the enlightened form.

Van der Delft was very alarmed when he heard my servants had been taken for questioning. He went to see Somerset and told him his master would be dismayed if he came to the conclusion that I was being forced to act contrary to my beliefs.

The ambassador came to me to tell me the result of that meeting.

“The Protector has said that you may continue as you wish providing you make no great noise about it. In private, there is no objection. ‘She may hear Mass privately in her own apartments,' he said.”

It was a reprieve.


* * *

LIFE WAS NOT RUNNING smoothly for Protector Somerset. The exchequer was low, and there was no money to pay the German mercenaries who were fighting for him on the Scottish border. Consequently the Scots had gained one or two important victories, and the French were taking advantage of the situation. There was rebellion throughout the country on religious grounds, on account of the depreciation of the currency and the enclosure laws. Landowners were against him no less than the common people.

Warwick's star was rising, and Warwick was a very ambitious man who wanted to rule alone. Wriothesley, who had become Earl of Southampton, had never been a friend. He was at heart a follower of the old religion, though that was something he did not stress at this time. Warwick had scored a military success when he had put down the rising in Norfolk and was regarded as the better man by many people. Somerset, they said, had become Protector merely because he was the King's uncle. Warwick was organizing secret meetings, the object being to turn men against Somerset.

Realizing what was happening, the Protector sought to rally his friends and to his dismay found that few were loyal to him, and when the City of London turned against him he knew there was little he could do to save himself.

It was not long before he found himself in the Tower.

My brother Edward surprised me. He was supposed to be fond of his uncle but he made no move to speak for him. He accepted the imprisonment of his Uncle Edward as he had the death of Uncle Thomas—his favorite, I remembered.

Somerset put up little fight to defend himself. He had come to understand that governing a country was not as easy as he had thought. His listlessness suggested that he was eager to give up the thankless task, for he accepted all the complaints against himself, admitted failure and threw himself on the mercy of the Council.

The result was that he was deprived of his protectorate and of lands to the value of £2,000. Then he was given a free pardon. How lucky he must have felt himself to be, to have escaped with his head. Perhaps this had come about through his meekness, but I believe that his enemies might have feared the effect his death would have on the people. In any case, he was freed, admitted to the Privy Council and made a gentleman of the King's bedchamber.

Warwick clearly did not want open warfare between them at that stage and, to prove that there was no enmity between them, shortly afterward Somerset's eldest daughter married Warwick's eldest son, Viscount Lisle.

This seemed very amicable. I wondered if it occurred to Somerset that things are sometimes not what they seem.

I did not feel very easy in my mind at the thought.


* * *

ELIZABETH WAS NOW at Court. I heard that she was made much of there. I had not been invited. I should have been a little worried if I had been, but it was not difficult to understand what this new favor to Elizabeth was all about.

I was not sure what her religious views were, but I guessed they would be trimmed to the order of the day. She had said, “What does it matter how one worships God, as long as He is worshipped? Do you think He minds?”

That seemed utter blasphemy to me; and it was said with an innocence of which I did not think my sister capable.

The King was a Protestant and, the laws of the country being in favor of that religion, Elizabeth would be a Protestant. That was what the Council liked. Edward's health was deteriorating. Who next? they were asking. Mary, to plunge us back to Rome? Or Elizabeth, who will be quite accommodating?

Clearly it must be Elizabeth.

The King, I heard, was devoted to her. She would know how to sweeten him. She was brazen. Most young girls would have hidden themselves away after what had happened with Seymour. But now Seymour was dead and it might be that soon his brother would be, too. I would not trust Warwick. Elizabeth would behave as though she had never been involved in that unsavory scandal and would doubtless have everyone believing that she was an innocent and simple girl. Not so innocent. Never simple. I could imagine her, smug and content, attracting attention with her bright reddish hair and witty manner. The King would be entranced and she was in her element.

But I could not be forgotten. What did they plan for me?

I had not disliked Somerset. He was at heart a good man, I believed. He had been overcome by ambition and had seen his fortunes change when Jane pleased the King; but now they were changing again, for he had reckoned without the wily Warwick. One could never know what Warwick was planning.

I was now certain that, if my brother Edward was near to death, they would seek to remove me. Should I suddenly awake one night to find myself ill after eating something… drinking some wine?

I was an encumbrance. They knew my mind, I had made that clear. I was not of their faith. They knew I would seek to bring back the old religion and return England to Rome; and if I succeeded, what would become of these men who had followed my father and gone on to what he had never intended?

I became very much afraid. I was constantly reminding myself of the task which had been given to me. I had to save my country, and these men would do everything in their power to thwart me; and the only way to be sure of doing this would be to remove me.

I became obsessed with the notion that they were planning my death. I would wake in the night trembling, imagining hired assassins creeping into my bedchamber. I remembered the little princes in the Tower. They had been sleeping in their beds, it was said, when men crept in and placed pillows over their faces. I would start at every footfall; when messengers came, I would think they brought a warrant for my arrest. I remembered so well those terrible days when Catharine Howard had feared her death was imminent. I understood how she had suffered.

I had my mission. I must save myself if possible, and each day I was believing myself to be in more and more acute danger.

To whom could I look for help? There was only one who could save me, whose influence had been a beneficial source to me all my life; my cousin, the Emperor.

I recalled those days when I had thought I was to be his bride. I had never forgotten standing at the stairs with my mother, while the barge carrying him, with my father, came in. He was arriving to claim his bride, and that bride was myself. I could see him now, a pale, serious young man in black velvet and a gold chain, looking serene and dignified beside my glittering father. He had taken my hands and smiled kindly. I was in love with him; or I believed I was because my women told me so.

He had wanted to take me back to Spain, but my parents would not allow that. If I had gone, I might have been his wife these many years.

He had given me a ring as a token, saying the ring was a sign of his regard for me. If ever I was in distress and apart from him and sent him the ring, he would do all in his power to help me.

I still had that ring. I took it out and an idea came to me. Now was the time to send it.

I wrote to François van der Delft and asked him to come to me.

Before he could reach me, I received an invitation to go to Court for Christmas. My brother wished me to join the family. Elizabeth would be there, and I should be, too.

A fit of trembling seized me. I knew what this meant. There would be religious ceremonies, and I should be forced to observe the new ways. I should be deprived of the Mass. I was being asked not because I was a member of the family but because they wanted to show me I must conform.

“I will not,” I said to myself. “I will not deny my faith.”

So I could not go to Court. I told them that my state of health prevented my traveling.

Van der Delft arrived.

I told him of my anxieties. He was well aware of them and agreed that the situation was highly dangerous.

He said, “The King's doctors are worried about him. His health does not improve. He suffers from a persistent cough, and he has grown very thin.”

“Somerset is without power,” I said. “It is all in the hands of Warwick.” Van der Delft nodded.

“They have asked me to go to Court for Christmas,” I told him.

I saw the alarm come into his eyes.

“You know why, I see,” I said. “It is to make me conform to their way of worship. I will not, Ambassador. I will not.”

“No. So you will not go. You will plead ill health.”

“It is the only way.”

“I like it not.”

“That is why I have asked you to come and see me. I have been thinking a great deal about my position here. I am sure I am most unsafe. I do not sleep well. I am disturbed by dreams. The slightest noise and I awake in terror.”

“It is not good,” he said.

“What shall I do?”

He said, looking over his shoulder and speaking quietly, “If the King dies, which he could well do, you are the next in succession.”

“Do you think they will ever let me come to the throne?”

“They would have to. There are thousands in the country who would stand beside you.”

“They are trying to promote Elizabeth.”

“I know.”

“She will go whichever way suits her. She will follow any faith that leads her to the crown. Warwick and the Council want Elizabeth. They know that I shall turn the country back to Rome. They would do a great deal to be rid of me before… the King dies.”

He was silent. I looked at him intently. He was an old man; he suffered from the gout and he was not well. He was kindly and had been a comfort to me, but he was not like Chapuys, whom I missed very much. Van der Delft was nervous. He had been sent to serve my interests. The Emperor relied on him to keep me safe for the great project which, with Edward's health in its present state, could not be long delayed. The testing time was close.