Jill Shalvis - Instant Attraction

The woman went still, her previously friendly expression switching to surprise. “Cam’s back?”

“Yes.” Katie pulled out her money and set it on the counter, reaching for the bag of cookies. “Thank you for the-”

But the woman didn’t release the bag, her eyes registering shock, hurt, and-Oh, damn. Love.

“He’s really back?”

Uh-oh. Had she just stumbled on to the reason Cam was avoiding town? “Yes, he’s back.” Again, she tried to pull her cookies free, but the woman had strong fingers. Must be all that kneading.

“I haven’t seen him since just before his accident,” the pastry chef murmured. “Nearly a year ago now.” She paused. “Could you tell him something for me?”

“Uh-”

“Tell him to come see Serena?”

Katie nodded, thinking she could tell him all she wanted, but Cam didn’t seem the type to do anything except what he felt like doing.

Serena finally released the cookies, and free to go, Katie mindlessly ate half of them on the drive back to the lodge. The snow was piled high in berms on either side of the road, which wasn’t a problem except she felt a little claustrophobic. Or maybe that was the sugar rush. The temp had dropped, which made the roads more than a little icy and slippery. The rough going was jerking the truck around pretty good.

But she could handle it.

To ease the pre-panic attack feeling, she spoke out loud. “You’re good. Town was nice. The cookies are great and…and I wish I knew what was between Serena and Cam…”

Whatever it was, it appeared to be over. But forgotten? Not for Serena, in any case. As for Cam, she couldn’t say. She didn’t know him well enough. Well, other than he made her yearn, made her laugh, and that he looked fantastic on a snowmobile.

And that he was a hell of a kisser.

But she had to admit he was more than that, much more. She’d seen him help run Wilder Adventures, deal with clients, seen him reveal a sharp, quick wit that was as attractive as his rare smile. He’d been hurt, so damn hurt, and yet he still managed to love and trust the small, tight circle he’d surrounded himself with.

Okay, so maybe she knew him better than she’d thought-

Her front tire caught a deep, icy groove in the road, and the truck lurched violently to the left. “Oh shit, oh shit.” She fought the wheel, her entire life flashing before her eyes as the truck swerved, then slid toward a snow bank.

Okay, not her entire life, just the longest minute of her life, the one on the Santa Monica bridge. She’d slid then, too, slid right off the bridge-

Oh God. Her vision filled with black spots, not exactly conducive to driving; but just before she totally gave herself over to the panic, the truck’s tire caught some traction. In a blink, she was back on the road, heading straight. Heart pounding nearly out of her chest, glasses crooked, she stopped the truck right there in the middle of the road and dropped her head to the steering wheel while she gulped in some air. And then some more, her hand to her chest to hold in her jumping heart.

She took another moment to breathe, but she couldn’t just stay in the center of the road all day, even if she wanted to. So after a minute, she cautiously took off again. Going five miles per hour, she was grateful when no other car came up behind her so she didn’t have to speed up. When she finally pulled up in front of the lodge, she got out on shaky legs and just barely managed not to be sick.

Cam was outside with a group of teenagers, handing out and signing gear: boards, boots, T-shirts, microfleeces, etc. They were all firing questions at him, laughing and nudging each other, having a great time.

Cam was smiling too. He glanced over at her, already lifting a hand in greeting when he got a closer look at her. He instantly handed over the Sharpie to the closest kid and headed straight for her.

Telling her heart to slow down, that she was fine, fine, fine, she pasted on a smile that he didn’t buy.

“What’s the matter?”

Not quite trusting her voice, she shook her head. Nothing. I’m great. Just freaking great.

He just kept looking at her in that deep, calm way he had, and she knew she could pretend all she wanted, that she wasn’t really okay, not yet.

“Katie.” He reached for her hand, which was clammy. It was twenty-five degrees and she was sweating.

“I’m fine,” she managed, nodding now, doing her best impression of a bobblehead doll. But then he stepped a little closer, big and strong and capable, cupping the back of her neck in a warm hand. God. She wanted to be fine, she wanted that very badly, but it was hard to keep pretending with him looking at her like that, and she went from nodding to shaking it.

With a low sound of empathy, he pulled her in and stroked his hand down her back. “The truck? The roads? A flashback?”

“All of the above.” Not going to cry, not going to cry…Angrily, she swiped the one tear that escaped and sniffed.

Above her, he set his chin on her head. “It’s okay if you want to use my shirt as a tissue.”

She choked out a laugh as he’d meant her to. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah you are.” He pulled back to look into her face. “And green to boot.”

“I look good in green.” Her voice was shaking. Dammit. She cleared her throat, pretending that she had a frog in it. “Okay, well, I’m going upstairs now.”

“Give yourself a second-”

“I don’t need any more seconds.”

“Next time ask someone else to drive you-”

“No,” she said far sharper than she’d intended. “I’m not quitting my life, Cam.”

A quick flash of hurt crossed his features, but he was good, very good at masking his feelings, and it was gone when he stepped back from her. “Okay.”

She sighed. “That was rude of me. I’m sorry.”

“It’s the truth, so don’t be sorry.” When he turned from her without another word, she let out a breath and headed up the stairs to the lodge.

Annie stood in the foyer waiting for Katie. “Kitchen. Now.” Okay. Kitchen worked. There were chairs in the kitchen and she needed to sit down. She followed Annie, noting the chef’s very baggy sweat bottoms and oversized T-shirt. Today’s apron read: WARNING-COMPLAINTS TO THE CHEF MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH.

In the kitchen, Annie handed over a plate loaded with lasagna, bread, and salad. “Sit. Eat.”

Katie’s hands were still trembling, but unfortunately no panic attack had ever stifled her appetite. She managed to stuff a bite into her mouth, then moaned in sheer pleasure.

“Yeah?” Annie asked, staring at her.

“Oh, yeah. Seriously, it’s great. It’s-”

“Yeah, yeah, I cook like an angel. Listen, I have a question.”

“Okay.”

“Did you see any of the guys today?”

Okay, so Annie had seen Cam hug her. “It’s not what you think.” Even if Katie wanted it to be exactly what Annie thought. “He was just…comforting me.”

“You mean Cam. You and Cam?”

“Well…yeah. What did you mean?”

Annie was frowning. “He’s not your type.”

“No,” she admitted. Her type was the laid-back LA guy who couldn’t be bothered to tell her he already had a wife, or the guy who didn’t call for a second date when he said he would. “He’s more alpha than I’m used to. And a bit dark and broody. And-”

Annie arched a brow. “And?”

“And nothing.” Shut your mouth, Katie. “Nothing. Subject dropped, sorry.”

Annie stared at her for another beat, then visibly shook it off. “Okay, when I asked about seeing any of the guys today, I meant Nick.”

Hey, good going. “I haven’t seen Nick today at all. About that Cam thing, I-”

“Forget it.” Annie looked like she was going to do her best to do the same. “Nick flew Stone and a group for a heli-ski, but they came back an hour ago. He usually comes into the kitchen to see me.”

“But didn’t you tell him not to talk to you ever again?”

“Well, I didn’t mean it, did I?” Turning away, Annie started rinsing dishes. Her hair, in a loose knot on top of her head, vibrated with tension. “This is so…asinine!” She poured enough soap into the sink to wash all the dishes in California. “He stopped seeing me, you know. He stopped looking at me.”

“Because you’re divorcing him?”

“No, it’s why I’m divorcing him-if he ever signs the damn papers. I told him to either look at me or find someone else. And he said he saw me just fine. He saw me standing between him and the damn TV. So I said get the hell out.” Her face went from anger to hurt bewilderment. “And he did. He moved into his own cabin.”

“Oh, Annie. I’m sorry.”

“Asinine,” she repeated.

“Maybe you could fix it.”

“How?” Annie waved her sponge and bubbles rose in the air between them. “The man didn’t see me! I’ve had a thing for him since second grade. I love him more than…more than cooking.”

Katie tread carefully, knowing how proud Annie was, which actually seemed to be a universal Wilder trait. “Maybe he needs your help to see you.”

Annie looked at her. “What? How hard is it? I’m standing right here.”

“I know, but sometimes guys need to be hit over the head, so to speak. They’re visual creatures.”

“Oh, Christ on a stick. Don’t say I need a damn makeover or some such shit like that.”

“How about new clothes?”

Annie looked down at herself. “There’s nothing wrong with these.”

“No, not if you’re a six-foot, two-hundred-pound teenage boy. You have such a great figure, but you hide it.”

“I’m chunky.”

“You’re curvy,” Katie corrected. “And if you dress for something other than the rumble in the parking lot, you could show it off a little. And-”

“Ohmigod. There’s an ‘and’?”

“A very little one. Makeup.”

“I’m getting hot flashes these days. I’ll just sweat it all off.”

“Just a swipe of black mascara. And maybe some gloss. That’s it. Maybe pick his favorite flavor.”

“Peach.” Annie sighed and went back to washing dishes. “His favorite flavor is peach. The damn skinny fool.”

“I have some peach gloss, I’ll give it to you. But it’s not just the clothes and the gloss.”

“I’m not doing anything crazy like Botox. I want to be able to look pissed off.”

“I was going to say it’s all in the attitude. And not a bad attitude.” She nudged Annie’s shoulders back. “Stand like you’re worth something. Walk the walk, talk the talk.”

“But I want him to see me without all the bullshit. The UPS guy manages to see me just fine.”

“Because you smile at him,” Katie pointed out. “You flirt. You don’t do that with Nick.”

Annie took that in a moment. “Well, hell. You just might be right about that.” Her eyes narrowed. “Are you using this technique on my nephew?”

“Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing with your nephew.”

Annie’s brow crinkled in worry. “You’re only here for another two weeks.”

“I know.”

“Are you going to want to stay, and then eventually either run him over or screw him over?”

“Run him over?”

“Crazy ex. Don’t ask.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “A big negative to running him over, and also on the screwing over. I have my next adventure to get to.”

Annie nodded, but her brow remained crinkled.

“What?”

“I’m just wondering what a guy who’s done nothing but take a risk all his life is going to do with a woman who’s never taken one until now, except get hurt.”

A most excellent question. “No one’s going to get hurt,” Katie said, wanting to believe it.

That night, Katie finished up her work for the day and headed out of the lodge, where she found herself swallowed up by the night. No streetlights, no city lights, no tall buildings for landmarks, nothing but the glowing snow and the black outline of towering mountains and the even blacker night sky.

As she always did out here, she felt like the only person on the entire planet. Just her and the wild animals.

When the now-familiar rustling sound came from a snow-covered Manzanita bush, she was not too proud to whirl to run. She might have fallen if not for the hands that grabbed her and pulled her up against a hard, warm body.

“Just me.”

That voice alone brought body parts to life, parts she’d almost forgotten existed. And let’s not forget her handy-dandy trusty fogging glasses. “Cam.”

“Expecting someone else?”

“Big Foot.”

“Ah. So the bushes are rustling again.”

“Probably hungry. I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I probably look good enough to eat.”

“I can vouch for that.” He took her hand and started walking with her, looking tough and yet somehow gentle-an intoxicating mix.

“I forgot to mention something earlier,” she said.