Jill Shalvis - Instant Attraction

“You mean other than you think that I’ve quit my life?”

“I said I wasn’t going to quit my life. The thing I forgot to mention was that after going to the bank, I ended up in a bakery. Wishful Delights.”

And those eyes of his shuttered right up. It made her stomach drop, because up until that reaction she’d managed to hold out hope that she’d been mistaken about the emotion she’d seen on Serena’s face. “Serena wants you to go see her.”

He said nothing to that. Shock.

“You two were together,” she ventured. “Which I guess had me wondering if you still are. Together.”

At that, he looked at her, his eyes unfathomable, as dark as the night. “Do you think I’d have kissed you the way I did if I was with another woman?”

“I kissed you, remember?”

“Oh yeah, I remember.” That dark gaze heated and so did all her good spots. “And then I very nearly took off all your clothes right there on the snowmobile and had my merry way with you.”

“Yeah,” she said, knees knocking. “That was my very favorite part, actually. Look, I’m fishing, okay? You’re a puzzle, and I’m missing a lot of pieces, apparently one named Serena.”

“Let’s play a different game.”

“I don’t want to play games at all. Did you break her heart, Cam?”

“No.”

“She break yours?”

His silence spoke for him.

Dammit. Dammit, Serena had hurt him. “Did it have anything to do with your accident?”

He shot her a look.

“Sorry. I tend to fill silences with chatter.”

“Well, that explains a lot about you.”

“Funny. What happened with Serena?”

He offered a shrug that was meant to be noncommittal but felt like a lot more. It had her throat tightening for him.

“She left me.”

“Because of your mind-blowing conversational skills?”

“Ha. Yeah, that’s not how it went.”

“How did it go?”

“Guy traveled a lot. Girl got lonely.”

“Guy was a famous ski champion,” she pointed out. “Travel was par for the course.”

“Didn’t matter. She got tired of being alone and got herself laid. Then I got all butt hurt, crashed, lost my endorsements and entire future.”

Her heart cracked for him. “Oh, Cam.”

“Don’t. Jesus. Don’t pity me. I pitied myself plenty, all year long. And as you’ve ever so helpfully pointed out, I’m apparently still at it.”

“Not all women cheat.”

“True. The woman I dated before Serena tried to run me over with her car when I declined a third date.”

She gaped at him. Annie hadn’t been kidding. “Did she hit you?”

“Just nicked me. Luckily I’m fast.”

“My God.”

“Yeah, the woman before her took off after MTV’s special The Bad Boys of Winter. She was in it for the long haul, but after seeing my segment, she decided a Wilder was a bad risk for her investment. I told you, Wilders are bad news, Goldilocks.”

“The Wilders were all pretty badass in the past,” she agreed. “But how about in this century?”

At her mocking tone, he slid her a glance. “I’m trying to scare you off here.”

“Then tell me something scary.”

He let out a low breath. “You are the oddest woman I’ve ever met.”

“So I’ve been told.” The dark, dark night continued to cocoon them, giving a sense of intimacy that Katie couldn’t tell was real or her own hopeful imagination. The trees swayed in the wind, accompanied by the occasional hoot of something wild that she didn’t want to know about. “Serena made a bad error in judgment, Cam, and the women before her were idiots. So your ancestors raped and pillaged the landside. Duly noted. Now tell me how that makes you bad?”

“I disappoint the women in my life.”

“Not Annie.”

“Serena is a friend of hers, a friend she didn’t want me to date in the first place. She’s in the middle and hates that. I put her there.”

“Okay, maybe, but I don’t buy that Annie would choose a friend over you. What about your mother?”

“Not a factor.” He said this flatly, subject clearly closed.

When she just looked at him, he shook his head. “She left right after I was born.”

He stood there casually, hands in his pockets now, looking like this was all okay, even perfectly normal, but it wasn’t, and she felt something inside her crack open up to him.

He’d been so let down. Over and over again. “Putting aside the fact that none of any of that is your fault,” she said quietly. “The Cameron Wilder I know so far? I’m pretty damn impressed with. Even if he won’t have sex with me.”

He choked out a laugh as they came to her front door.

“Yeah.” She leaned back against the door. “I know you like that whole no regrets thing, but actually, I kind of feel the opposite. No holding back. Because if you hold back, it’s boring. You shouldn’t be bored with life, Cam. Not ever.”

“I agree with that.”

“So why aren’t we naked?”

He let out a breath. “My radar’s off,” he said so sincerely that she laughed; then he laughed, too, and tugged her in for a hug. Turning them so that he was the one leaning back against the door now, he held her against him. “Are you sure, Katie? Are you sure you’re not just saying what you think I want to hear?”

“I’m not that nice.”

“So you’re not out here looking for something permanent.”

“The job’s temporary. My being here is temporary. What could I be looking for?” At his expression, she had to laugh again. “Are you asking if I want a husband and two point five kids? Okay, you caught me. I do, but they’re for the future. Don’t be scared. In a week and a half, I’m out of here for the Real Adventures of Katie Kramer.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ve saved every penny from my time here. I was thinking of doing that whole backpack across Europe thing.”

“By yourself.”

“Or that Alaska trip that T.J. is on sounds cool. Maybe I’ll book one of those.”

“What does your family think?”

“That I’m crazy. But in their defense, I’ve been the quite little Goody Two-Shoes all my life, never rocking the boat, never questioning authority…never doing any damn thing.”

“Okay, I get that. But, Katie, have you ever backpacked before? Or gone mountain climbing?”

“That’s sort of the point, big guy.”

“And what about after that?”

“A plan, Cam? Really? You want me to have a plan when you don’t?”

“Okay,” he said. “That’s not fair. You and I are different.”

“Not as different as you think. Look, I’m not Serena. Or any of those other women. I hardly ever run people over. But things happen. Life’s too short. Hearts get stomped on. We both know that better than anyone. It’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal.”

“Only if you dwell.”

“Of which I’ve done my fair share of.”

She smiled up at him as she slid her hands up his chest and into his hair. “You about done?”

That dragged another laugh out of him. “I think so, yeah.”

She pressed her mouth to his jaw and nibbled. He groaned and turned his head, meeting her mouth with his, his tongue sliding against hers in a movement so delicious, so perfect, her knees wobbled.

That was new, having all her bones just sort of melt right out of her legs, which turned out not to be a problem because he had her. Then he turned them again, pressed her back up against the wood, a motion that freed up his hands, which she was all for. Except…She went still. “Did you hear that?”

He was kissing her neck. “I can’t hear anything over the roar of the blood in my ears.”

God, he was sexy. But she’d heard something. And if it was a hungry bear…“I think we should go in. You coming?”

“Hell, yeah, I’m coming. You’re going to come too.”

“You’re talking about-”

“Yeah.”

Her legs impersonated a bowl of jelly, and she yanked him against her, just as her door opened behind her, causing the two of them to fall inside.

Above them, still holding the door handle, stood Annie, staring down at them sprawled at her boots. “Oh, for the love of Pete.”

“Annie,” Katie gasped and sat up. “Hi.”

“Oomph,” Cam said when her elbow accidentally planted in his belly on his way up.

“I came to show you my new clothes.” Annie put a hand on her hips. The other held a plate of brownies as she stared at Katie. “I brought these and Will Smith’s latest DVD. Say you’re going to pick me, my brownies, and Will over my knucklehead nephew.”

Katie looked at Cam, who rolled to his feet. “Thanks,” he said to Annie. “Good to know where we stand.”

Annie sighed and lost her attitude. “I’m sorry. I think you two are a colossally bad idea, but Stone told me I had to stay out of it. I didn’t know you were going to be here. She’s the only girl here and I need a girl night. And you…” She divided a look between them. “You two need a cooling-off period.” She shoved a brownie in Cam’s hand, then pushed him over the threshold and shut the door in his face. “There. I thought he’d never leave.”

Katie let out a breath and reached for the entire plate of brownies. So close. She’d been so close.

By the crack of dawn, Annie was back in her kitchen making a boatload of sandwiches for Cam’s day trip to Diamond Ridge. She had her hands full of sliced sharp cheddar and fresh honey-baked ham when Nick stormed into the kitchen.

He yanked off his ski cap and slapped it down to the counter. He had the most god-awful hat hair, hadn’t shaved in at least two days, and his shirt was wrinkled. He looked ridiculously gruff and frustrated and disheveled, and just laying her eyes on him had butterflies executing summersaults in her belly. “What’s your problem?” she asked with as much disinterest as she could mutter.

“You. You’re my problem.”

Her belly flopped again, unpleasantly this time. He’d been her high-school sweetheart. Her college fling. The man of her dreams. They’d married young, and things had been great. And then they hadn’t, but it’d happened so gradually she hadn’t noticed until it’d been too late. She’d gotten lazy and had let things drift. And then she’d compounded the error by getting stupid on top of lazy, and she’d quit him.

And now he was quitting her.

All her fault, and she’d deal with that. Was trying to deal with that. “Well, soon enough I won’t be your problem at all. As soon as you sign the damn papers.”

He swore roughly beneath his breath. “Not what I meant, Annie.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“About what you said, about this me not seeing you shit.” He hesitated and looked at her the way he used to, with bewildered affection in the mix now. “I was thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“Is it something I could fix?”

Her heart actually skipped a beat and she dropped eye contact, busying herself with washing her hands. She’d been waiting and waiting for him to ask that question, and he never had-until now. “You’re a pilot and a mechanic. You fix stuff for a living. Theoretically, you’d be a cinch at fixing anything.”

“Goddammit, Annie. I need a direct answer.”

She went to work making coffee. “Yes,” she said after a minute, “I think you can fix it.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “Does that statement come with directions?”

She met his gaze. “I want you to know how to fix it.”

He let out a long breath. “I really hate that answer.”

“You know what I hate, Nick?” She set down the coffeepot rather than throw it at his head. “I hate the way you talk to me as if you don’t already know every single thing about me, the way I know everything about you, down to the fact that you’re probably wearing stupid boxers right this minute just because I can’t stand them.”

“I’m not-” He broke off, pulled out the waistband of his jeans to look, then sighed. “Okay, I am, but only cuz it’s laundry day.”

She shook her head and pointed to his. “I also hate the way you forget to comb your hair after you wash it and it falls over your eyes.” She rolled her eyes when he tried to pat it down. “I hate the way you can read my mind when I don’t want you to and not when I do want you to.” At that, the fight went out of her and she leaned back against the counter. “And I really hate that even with all that, I still don’t hate you. That I want you to fight for me.” Her throat burned, and defeated, she tossed up her hands. “I just want you to see me, Nick.”

“Ah, Annie.” His voice was soft and slightly gruff as his frustrated demeanor drained. “I see you every single day.”

“Then show it.” She so desperately needed that. “I need you to show it, Nick.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face while she stood there staring at him, yearning, aching. “I’ll try,” he said.

“That’d be really great.” She cleared her tight throat. “In return, I think it’s only fair that you give me something to work on. For you. To please you.”