Jill Shalvis - Instant Attraction

Nothing in Stone’s face gave away his thoughts except his eyes, which seemed suspiciously bright, so maybe, possibly, he was every bit as moved as Cam. As the Wilders were all good at hiding their feelings, it was all but impossible to tell.

“Where’s T.J.?” Cam asked Stone, thinking their older brother would be the easiest to face simply because he’d always been the calm, level-headed one.

“Alaska. Halfway through a six-week ice climb.” Stone kept staring at him. “You might have called once or twice.”

They’d never been a demonstrative family, thanks to their father. Nope, William Wilder, a bronco champion, had had a long ego and a short fuse. At least he had up until his unceremonious death from a hoof to the back of his head from his prized bronco. Before that, he’d treated his youngest son-a bastard thanks to his wife’s inability to resist any ski bum-to pretty much the same treatment whenever he could.

That is, until Annie had taken Cam, even though she’d barely been legal herself. She’d done her best to parent him, though there’d been times when he’d needed more of a parole officer than a parent. For better or worse, they’d raised each other, and though he’d been an adult a good long time now, she still thought of him as hers.

“You could have contacted us,” Stone said. “A text, a fax. Sent a fucking letter…”

“But then I wouldn’t have been able to terrify your new employee in the dead of night. And undoubtedly piss off Annie for the inconvenience of having to ready another cabin.”

Annie didn’t jump to the bait. “Katie’s your employee, too, you idiot.”

Idiot. Good to know he could count on his family to keep his feet on the ground.

“And you own this place as much as T.J. and Stone.”

An old argument. A questionable argument. Sure, he’d put up the money for Wilder Adventures, but that had been easy.

It’d been Stone and T.J. to make this place; it was their sweat and blood, and he well knew it. He’d never had the heart for it. Hell, he didn’t have the heart for anything, not anymore.

And Jesus, wasn’t he ever so damn tired of himself.

“We’ve already moved Katie to another cabin,” Stone told him quietly, studying him. “And she wasn’t terrified. I’m happy to say she seems to be made of sterner stuff than that. As for Annie, she’s always pissed off. So don’t go flattering yourself about causing that.”

Annie hissed in a breath but didn’t respond. Hard to dispute the truth apparently.

“So why the new hire?” Cam asked.

“Riley’s wife is having a baby.” Stone shrugged. “He wanted paternity leave. I hired a temp replacement for the next month.”

“Katie’s different than Riley.”

“If by that you mean she doesn’t have a penis,” Annie said, “then yes. Great to see you haven’t misplaced your amazing observation skills on your trek around the planet. And let me just make it clear: You stay away from that girl, you hear me? She’s sweet and kind, and not one of your rabid floozy ski bunnies.”

Cam looked out the window. It was an old habit and a defense mechanism, tuning Annie out. He could have told her he hadn’t had a “type” in an entire year and wasn’t interested. And yet even as he thought it, he watched Katie head toward the last cabin. He needed sunglasses to look at that pink sweater against all that virgin white snow, but he couldn’t take his gaze off her.

He had no idea why he felt so transfixed, but it didn’t matter. Little did except putting one foot in front of the other. Forcing himself to turn from the window, he opened his duffle bag for some clean clothes. Unlike Katie, his bag had been haphazardly thrown together. Once upon a time he’d had people around him, an entire entourage, and his bag had always been organized for him.

But he was alone now. Loser has-beens didn’t have much use for entourages.

Stone stepped closer, getting in his way. He was as big as Cam, broader actually, and beefier. But his move wasn’t aggression. “Not to send you scampering off into the sunset again, but there’s something you should know.”

“What?”

“We’re glad you’re back.”

Cam looked at him, but because that hurt he turned to Annie, who was standing there arms folded, attitude all over her. A general in waiting.

But she rolled her eyes, dropped her arms and her attitude, and sighed. As big of an admittance as he was going to get. Yeah, they really were glad he was back, but that would probably change very quickly. “I didn’t scamper.”

Stone’s mouth quirked a little.

“I’ve never scampered.”

“What do you call running off like a little girl just because the going got a little tough?”

“A little tough.” Cam choked out a laugh. “Jesus, Stone.”

“Look,” Annie broke in, getting in the middle as usual. “I’ll give you this. It was brave of you to go. Really. Brave of you to try to find yourself, but-”

“Not brave.” Try the opposite. Try cowardly. Yeah, that’s what Cam called his leaving rather than facing his own reflection in the mirror, rather than face what he’d lost, or the fact that he didn’t know how to deal with it-cowardly.

“Things happen,” she said softly, reminding him she knew of what she spoke. “People get hurt.”

He’d been taken out of a bad situation when he’d been a kid-by her. But she’d had no one to take her out. She’d grown up on her own-no parental support, no money, and diabetic to boot. Not easy. “Yeah, people get hurt,” he agreed. “And I needed to go somewhere to forget that, and just be.”

“Did you find that place?”

“No.” The restlessness had followed him, relentlessly. Everywhere. He’d lost his dream, which he could deal with if only he could find a new one. He’d come back here as a last resort, a part of him believing that doing so would be so overwhelming he’d just die on impact; but oddly enough, here he was, still breathing. “I nearly stayed away, nearly kept looking.”

Annie made a noise and Cam braced himself, but she threw herself at him, hugging him tight.

“Damn fool,” she breathed, sniffing noisily in his ear. “A stupid damn fool that I’m so very, very happy to see.” She burrowed closer, squeezing the hell out of him. “Don’t you ever do that again.” Her voice broke, nearly breaking him as well. “Ever. Your place is here. Goddammit, Cam, it’s here. With us.”

Unbearably moved at her tears, he pulled her in tight and buried his face in her hair. “I’m sorry. Please, Annie, don’t cry. Not over me.”

“I’m not crying, I’ve just got something in my damn eye.” Shoving free, she turned her back, lifting the hem of her shirt to serendipitously wipe her eyes while Cam looked helplessly at Stone.

But Stone stepped in closer, his voice rough with emotion. He hugged Cam hard. “She’s not the only one glad to see you, asshole.”

Yeah. Yeah, he really was an asshole. “So you’re okay with me being back.”

“Go figure.”

And with those two simple words, uttered sarcastically, both with edge and temper, yet filled with relief and unmistakable love, Cam nearly lost it. Annie’s continued sniffing didn’t help. “Annie,” he murmured, devastated.

“It’s just allergies!” Eyes red, she pointed at Cam. “Get dressed. We’ve got work. Unless your knee is bothering you?”

It was, it always was, but he’d learned to live with that. “I’m fine. What work?”

“You remember those ads that T.J. placed for Wilder Adventures in all the outdoor magazines?”

“Yeah.”

“Business exploded,” Stone told him, smiling. “Continuous groups coming and going. T.J.’s guiding a bunch of trust funders. There’s a group arriving today to go to Cascade Falls, so I’m out of here for two days.”

“We’ve been trying to hire another expedition leader,” Annie said. “But apparently egotistical, cocky sons-of-bitches are hard to come by. Good thing you stopped by, as you know these mountains like the back of your hand.” She jabbed a finger into his chest. “You’re hired.”

“Maybe I’m not done feeling sorry for myself.”

Stone snorted. “You’re back here, you’re done.”

He wasn’t so sure. “I’ll think about it.”

“You’ll think about it?” Stone repeated. “Bro, you’re in. If you don’t want to do it for your own entertainment, then do it for us. We’re overworked, and we need you.”

They needed him. So even if his world felt more than a little rocky and he had no idea of his place in it, he was needed here. In some small way, that was a relief. Them against the world, as always.

Again, he glanced out the window at the majestic mountains that had once upon a time been his whole world, at the wide-open space they’d taken for their own, and there, among the snow-covered trees and white winter wonderland was another world wonder.

Katie.

She was walking away from her newly assigned cabin now. She’d changed into dressier clothes and silly boots not really meant for their weather. A classic city-girl mistake. She was heading past the row of eight staff cabins toward the main lodge to go to work, and just like that, yet another unwanted emotion hit him.

Okay, two.

Curiosity and intrigue-two things he hadn’t felt in a damn long time. “I’ll think about it,” he said again.

“Fine,” Stone said. “You do that. But think fast.”

Katie saw Stone briefly, and by briefly, she meant when she’d literally run into him just outside the big lodge as she’d been coming in and he’d been going out.

He was as good-looking as Cam, slightly bigger, but a kinder, gentler version in that at least he could hold a conversation without dragging his knuckles.

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling his iPod earpieces away from his ears and dropping them around his neck. Rock blared out from the speakers. “I know we have a meeting to go over everything you need to do while I’m gone, but something’s come up. Can you handle closing out the month on the books, writing a few checks, and possibly renting out some equipment? Annie can give you the rundown.”

Sure,” she said as he moved off with his long stride. “No problem.” Hopefully. She turned to enter the large two-story log-cabin structure that made up the lodge.

The foyer was lit by the long windows on either side of the huge front door, and also by two moose lamps mounted on the log walls. There was a beautiful wooden bench and a long row of hooks for jackets. Still not used to the 6,300-foot altitude, she hugged her jacket closer, not yet ready to take it off as she stepped into a huge open great room that always made her think of a mid-nineteenth-century saloon. Hardwood floors, open-beamed ceilings, and a Wild West decor gave a warm glow to the place. There were big, comfy couches spread throughout, and in the far corner, an old-fashioned salon-style bar. Next to it was the biggest fireplace she’d ever seen, glowing with embers from the rip-roaring fire of the night before.

Annie came skidding into the living room. The Wilder Adventures chef wore baggy jeans and a large, long-sleeved T-shirt, making it impossible to see her figure. Ageless as well, she wore no makeup and might have been sixteen or forty. Her green eyes said, Don’t mess with me. Her apron wasn’t much friendlier. It read: MY KITCHEN DOESN’T RUN ON THANKS. Her sable hair was thick and long down her back. “Did my medical delivery come-” She picked up a white bag from the foyer bench. “Crap, I missed him.”

“Who?”

“The hot delivery guy, who else?” Seeming very distracted and more tightly wound than usual, Annie opened the bag, looking through it. “Getting my insulin isn’t nearly as fun without the flirting.”

“Stone said there’s some things he needs done while he’s gone, and that I should get the full lowdown from you.”

“Dammit.” Annie pulled out her phone, checked the time on the display, then blew out a breath. “Okay, lowdown…” She began piling her long, thick hair on top of her head in a haphazard fashion, sticking pins in it from her pocket. “If you have to rent anyone any snow equipment, it’s not difficult. You know the two large storage garages where it’s all kept?” At Katie’s nod, she went on, “The helicopter’s keys are in the first one, but you shouldn’t have to worry about that unless someone wants to go heli-skiing.”

Katie’s jaw hit the floor. “Uh-”

“Kidding.” Annie flashed a grin. “Sorry. But if someone wants to rent a snowmobile, you can handle that, right?”

“Sure,” she said much more confidently than she felt. Rent a snowmobile, maybe. Drive one? She was barely back to driving a car…

Baby steps. This was just one baby step in a series of many, all heading toward the goal of risking, living. Balls out, baby. “No problem.”