Jill Shalvis - Instant Gratification

And something she couldn’t face, not and function properly. Already exhausted before she even began her day, she heated up one of the casseroles labeled breakfast for her and Spencer, who was embarking on a long day hike.

By himself.

“Don’t worry,” he told her, scooping more cholesterol into his bowl. “TJ mapped out the trek for me. They said I couldn’t get lost if I stayed on the trail. I’m looking forward to being by myself.”

They hadn’t talked about the fact that she’d chosen Stone over him. Nor that she’d taken two hours to come back the night before. “You won’t be by yourself,” she said. “There’ll be spiders and bears and coyotes, oh my.”

Spencer grinned. “Then come with me. Protect me.”

“Ha. Maybe if it was spa day.” She was still pining for Starbucks and Thai take-out, still missing the crowded, noisy, bustling streets, where the scents came from sidewalk vendors and exhaust, where wide open spaces were to be mistrusted.

Missing all of it.

Wasn’t she?

She wasn’t sure. The truth was, the air here was amazing, clean and fresh, and she’d saved a fortune by not buying from a menu every time she ate. Plus, she’d gotten damn good at making her own coffee.

Interesting.

She drove Spencer up to Wilder Adventures, the starting point for his trek, holding her breath on the narrow road between town and the lodge. “Damn roads out here are barbaric.”

“It’s the rains,” he said. “You’re doing much better these days.”

Better was relative, but they made it without incident. It’d rained heavily all night long, but though it’d momentarily tapered off to a light drizzle, the skies were still dark and threatening. “Are you sure about this?”

Not appearing at all bothered by the prospect that he’d likely be wet all day long, he nodded, “It’s going to be good.”

At Wilder Lodge, he got out of the truck and went to the back for his gear. Emma got out, too, looked up at the dark sky again, and shook her head. “Not too late to change your mind.”

“Not too late to come.”

“Like I said, let me know when it’s spa day, with good food service and no bears.” She pulled him in for a hug, closing her eyes when he tightened his grip. “Spence-” She didn’t want to lose him. “About you and me. I-”

“Em.” He smiled, tugging at a strand of her hair. “I’m okay. Really.”

“Are we okay?”

“Very okay.”

“Really?”

“Yes, why?”

“It’s just that you got over me pretty darn quick.”

He laughed, and patted his chest. “Fickle heart, remember?”

God, she loved him. She cupped his face. “Be safe.”

“And you take it easy on yourself. As in try to get into the slower pace or something.”

“Yeah. Right.”

“Don’t worry. Soon enough you’ll be back in your big, crazy city, and this will all be just a bad dream.”

A bad dream. And a good one…She watched him go, heading off into the wild forest willingly. Happily.

Darling, what’s YOUR day long trek?

At her mom’s words in her head, she sighed. The question was valid. What was there in her life that made her as at peace as Spencer had looked just now?

That the answer was a big, fat nothing didn’t help.

God, she was tired of herself. “And you too, mom.” She got back into the truck, taking a quick glance at the lodge as she drove off, wondering what Stone was doing.

Was he still in bed? The bed she’d been in last night, panting his name, leaving nail imprints in his ass-

Above her, the sky opened up with a bright burst of lightning, accompanied by a sonic boom that had her nearly leaping out of her skin. Startled, she jerked to a stop right in the middle of the road. The rain started up again, pummeling the truck in tune to her pounding heart.

She looked out the windshield.

There was nothing on this stretch of road, just trees, trees, and more trees. Oh, and two ditches running alongside.

Her gut clenched but she put the truck back into gear. This weather wouldn’t have stopped Stone, and it wouldn’t stop her either. She hit the gas, but in the past few minutes, the road seemed to have turned into an instant muddy swamp.

Not good.

Tightening both hands on the wheel, she concentrated on staying on the road and not sliding off into either ditch. She was doing good too, but then something hopped out of the driving rain and bounced across the road right in front of her truck. A deer. She hit the brake as the thing vanished into the trees, and the truck’s wheels lost their tenuous grip in the muddy road, slipping, hitting a rut and jerking her off the road-

Right where she didn’t want to be-into one of the ditches.

Stone drove like a bat out of hell, hoping it wasn’t bad.

“Jesus, man.” TJ tightened his seatbelt. “Slow down. She didn’t say there was a three alarm fire. She said she’d driven into a ditch.”

Stone tried to peer ahead through the fog and rain but visibility was nonexistent. He and TJ had been talking to Cam on iChat, having a grand old time, laughing at Cam’s recollection of him taking Katie zip-lining across the rain forest, and how she’d screamed her way through it.

Then they’d heard Harley on the radio say she was responding to a truck in the ditch between Wishful and the lodge, and Stone had hung up on Cam.

Because there’d only been one truck on that road today-Emma’s. And so no, regardless of the fact that the level headed TJ had a point, Stone didn’t slow down. A mile later, he was glad as he came to a stop just behind Harley, who had pulled up just in front of them.

Emma had indeed gone into the ditch. The truck was grounded on its belly, the front wheels firmly in the muddy ditch, the back wheels no longer touching the ground. Emma stood to one side, out in the driving rain, an arm wrapped around her middle, the other shoving her wet hair out of her eyes

Harley moved toward Emma. “Good one.”

Emma turned and looked at her. “You’re roadside assistance?”

Harley, in a ski cap and coveralls, nodded. “Until I pass my finals,” she said proudly, then turned to look at the truck. “So you’ve introduced yourself to the ditch, up close and personal. Let’s un-introduce you.”

“It got the better of me.”

“Happens to all of us at least once. You hurt?”

“I-” That’s when she noticed Stone and TJ and closed her mouth. Harley turned and looked, caught sight of TJ, and swore. “She called for roadside assistance, not an audience.”

TJ’s usual smile was nowhere in sight. In fact, his scowl matched Harley’s. “We heard the radio call go out and thought maybe you could use some help muscling the truck out of the ditch. We thought maybe you’d appreciate the help.”

“This is my job, Wilder.” Harley accompanied the statement with a finger in TJ’s chest. She was a full foot shorter than him, yet somehow managed to look down her nose at him. “So back off and let me do it.”

TJ lifted his hands in surrender, and looking unaccustomedly irritated, stepped back.

Stone left those two to their tempers and looked at Emma. “Are you really okay?”

“Yeah.”

Behind them, small but mighty, Harley didn’t appear at all daunted by the task ahead of her as she went around to the back of her truck and began to pull out a large set of chains. “If you want to you can wait in the cab of my truck,” she said to Emma. “It’s dry, at least.”

“I’ll help.”

Harley looked over Emma’s pinstriped trousers, silk blouse, and light cashmere sweater. “That would be great, except I think your outfit probably cost more than all of my clothes put together. I’ve got this.” Harley’s sharp eyes narrowed in on what Stone had also narrowed in on-Emma holding her ribs. “Really. You go sit.”

“I’m fine.” She swiped the rain out of her eyes and appeared to gnash her back teeth together. She was soaking wet, and looked cold, miserable, and mad at the world, including Stone. “I was trying to avoid Bambi.”

Harley shook her head as she wrapped the chains around the Sinclair truck. “First rule of the Sierras. Never swerve to avoid an animal. It’s survival of the fittest out here.” She struggled with a clamp on the chains, and TJ moved in.

When their hands touched, Harley jerked back and shot him a glare, which TJ ignored, muscling her out of the way to do her job.

With temper making her ears red, Harley jumped into her truck and the two of them worked silently together to pull Emma’s truck out of the ditch. It was like watching an old silent movie, no words necessary since the seething tension between the two of them spoke for itself.

“They go way back,” Stone said to a shivering Emma.

She looked up at him. “I’m sorry, what?”

Hiding his concern, he shrugged out of his denim jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Take it,” he insisted when she opened her mouth to protest, pulling the fleece lined hood up and over her head, using the excuse to touch her. He’d come to see her again, since he hated how she’d left last night, but now he was very glad he had because she needed him.

And she didn’t need easily. “You’re shivering.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are. Come here,” he said, and pulled her in his arms to try to warm her up.

Emma hadn’t even noticed how cold she was until Stone had pointed it out, and then she’d realized that she was shaking rather violently. And there was a funny pain in her chest-not funny good but funny bad. “I’m fine,” she repeated as he hugged her very carefully, as if she were a fine piece of china. “I’m just annoyed that you’ve caught the stupid city girl getting stuck.” Annoyed and embarrassed.

“It’s okay to be stupid once in a while.”

“Really? Does this ever happen to you?”

‘Well, no.”

She was still shivering like crazy, and that made her mad too, just as it also made her want to burrow even closer, which didn’t help. Not one little bit. “Everything’s so easy for you.” She told herself to let go of him but she didn’t listen. “Well, here’s a memo for you, life isn’t easy.”

“No,” he agreed, sweeping a hand up her back, his smile gone. “Life sure as hell isn’t. But you make of it what you can, and you do your best to enjoy the hell out of it, because it’s the only life you get.” He turned her toward the truck, which was out of the ditch now-thanks to Harley and TJ.

Not saying another word, Stone reached across her to open the door for her.

There was no reason for her to feel like a complete ass, yet she did. With as much dignity as she could manage, she thanked Harley, arranged to go by the shop later to pay her, and then hopped up into the truck, the movement giving her a bad moment. Her ribs were killing her.

Her own fault.

Just as she put the truck in gear, the passenger door opened and Stone got in, as drenched as she. His hair was plastered to his head, little rivulets of water raining down his jaw. His eyes seemed darker, the lashes inky black and spiky with rain water. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“I had a choice.” He plopped his big, wet body into the seat. Having given her his jacket, his t-shirt was sculpted to his chest. His jeans were plastered to him as well, the soft, worn, drenched denim lovingly molding to his hips, his thighs, the intriguing bulge behind his button fly-

She jerked her gaze up to his eyes, and met his wry ones. “Choice?”

“Between being a referee for TJ and Harley, or…” Leaning forward, he flicked the heater on high. “Figuring out how badly you’re really hurt.”

She hugged herself and her aching ribs. She was having trouble keeping her eyes off him, which was odd since she’d seen all there was to see last night. “I’m not.”

“Do you want me to drive?”

Yes. More than she could say, but that would be admitting defeat, and she never admitted defeat.

“I swear I won’t write the feminist police,” he said dryly.

She sighed. “It’s not that. If I let you drive, I’ll never be able to face this road again.”

He looked at her, something new coming into his eyes in addition to the irritation-approval.

It was unexpected, and washed over her like a welcome balm, whether she liked it not. For the record, she didn’t. She didn’t like it at all. She swiped at the water running out of her hair and into her eyes, a movement which hurt, dammit. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” he said.

That was another difference between them. She would never have left herself so wide open. What if she wanted to know how many lovers he’d had, or the last time he’d cried? “You were right about what you said before. How we only get one life, how we need to handle it right. So I guess what I want to know is…” She paused. Talk about putting herself out there, but it was too late to go back now. “Are you happy? Here? With what you do for a living?”