C. Omololu - Intuition

I glance at Sue. I’m going to try to keep Griffon out of this whole conversation, but I don’t want it to be awkward for Janine. “It’s . . . kind of hard to talk about.”

“Sue was my mentor when I first transitioned. If anyone can help you with a problem, she can.”

Griffon said that Janine isn’t as Iawi as he is, but I know that this isn’t the first lifetime she’s remembered. “You guys were together before? That’s part of what I wanted to ask about.”

They exchange looks, and even though I know that telepathy isn’t part of the abilities of even the oldest Akhet, sometimes I wonder. It seems as though the two of them are saying volumes with just their eyes. “It was many years ago,” Janine says. “Centuries, actually. We’ve managed to maintain contact for the past four lifetimes.”

“How?” I ask, amazed. “I mean, how do you manage to find each other again? Griffon said that it isn’t like all the movies make it out to be.”

“It’s not,” Sue answers. “Many times there is an extreme age difference, or geographical separation. The past fifty years or so, things have gotten much easier.”

“What do you mean, easier?”

“Technology, for one,” Sue says. “Computers, the Internet.”

“Like some kind of Akhet database?” I ask. “You just put in your information and find people you’ve been connected to in the past?”

“That’s not too far off,” Janine says. “These days, we take advantage of the tools we have. In the past, the Sekhem kept the records. Traveling on foot and by boat to get around sometimes made reaching the Sekhem center impossible, particularly if you were part of a social class that couldn’t easily travel.”

“But if you were lucky, you could reconnect with people you’d already had a relationship with?”

Sue smiles at Janine. “The first time I met her, Janine was my grandson.”

“And Sue was my grandfather,” Janine adds, laughing at the look on my face. “Oh, come on. You must realize that Akhet reality means crossing gender, race, and class boundaries. Sue and I have been connected, just not in the way you might think; it’s not like you can seek out your lost love through every lifetime. I already told you how things worked out between Griffon’s father and me. No matter how strong your memories are of the other person, if both people don’t share them, it won’t work emotionally, even if it is physically possible.”

My mind is racing as the two of them talk about finding other Akhet as if it’s as ordinary as sending a text. “But what if two people had a relationship in the past, and it ended . . .” I search for the right word, remembering my feelings at the memory of Connor being dragged out the front door by the soldiers. “Tragically. Does that mean they’re fated to be together if they find each other in the next lifetime? And, you know, if one of them isn’t a grandparent or something.”

“I’ve known some that have made it work in more than one lifetime,” Janine says. “But it’s not all that common; the odds are against you.”

The fact that it’s not common makes me even more convinced that Drew is wrong. He’s not Connor. He can’t be. “So if they’re together again, and sort of the same age in the same place, does that mean that they should have the same relationship they had before?”

Sue watches me closely as I speak. “Are we talking specifics here, or just hypothetically?”

I can’t look at Janine, because I know if I do, I’ll tell her about Drew. I don’t know if there’s some sort of Akhet code, or just that mother-son bond, but I’m afraid that if I tell her the truth, she’ll tell Griffon I was asking. “Hypothetically,” I say, and force a short laugh. “I’m just trying to figure out how it all works.”

“There’s not a lot of data on it.” Janine turns to Sue. “But it would be a fascinating study. I’m not sure that there’s some outside force called ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’ that makes people act a certain way. I think you have to work out each individual case on its own.” She turns the full intensity of her eyes on me. “What’s his name?”

I look back at her, determined not to give it away, but I can see from her expression I’ve already lost. “Drew.” I say it so softly that I can barely hear myself speak, but I can tell by the look on Janine’s face that the name reached her just fine.

Sue sits up straighter in her chair. “And he’s someone you met recently?”

“Yes. He knows my sister. And I saw him at a party the other night. He keeps trying to tell me that we were together in England in the sixteenth century.” I look at Janine. “The same lifetime where I met Griffon.”

I’m almost rewarded by the fact that Janine looks surprised. “So what does Drew want from you?”

“He said it was fate that we’re together now. I could tell he was hurt that I didn’t believe him. I was married to someone named Connor . . . before . . . and I remember parts of it. I have a strong memory of him being taken away by the king’s soldiers. Something about treason. I think it was just after that that he was killed.”

“And you’re sure of these memories?” Sue asks. “This Drew person isn’t imposing his memories on you?”

“I’m sure.” I pull the ankh out of my shirt, the dark red ruby in the center almost glowing, despite the fact that we’re inside under fluorescent lights. “I remember Connor giving me this back then. Griffon returned it to me after all this time.”

Sue gets up and takes a step toward me. “May I see that up close?”

I nod, and she lifts the ankh up, examining the front and the back. “This is definitely from that time period.”

“He had it made for me. I remember him saying that in a memory I had early on.”

Sue looks at Janine and then back to me. “If he had an ankh made for you in the sixteenth century, then that means Connor was probably Akhet back then. It’s not a common symbol for that time, at least not in England. He must be Iawi.” She sits back in her chair and looks at the two of us. “How did the ankh end up with Griffon?”

I hesitate, but don’t see any reason not to tell her the truth. “He’d gotten it as payment. For executing me.”

She looks confused. “An Akhet executioner? I can’t imagine.”

“He wasn’t Akhet then,” I say quickly. “He was forced into it. And when he became Akhet in the seventeenth century, he spent most of a lifetime tracking down the family heirlooms that had been given to him so that he could hopefully return them one day.”

Sue nods. “Interesting form of penance,” she says thoughtfully.

“So you said this boy’s name was Drew?” Janine continues. “How old is he in this lifetime? What does he look like?”

I close my eyes, trying to focus on the details and not the whole package. Because I’m not attracted to him, no matter how he thinks our past lives connected. No matter what I felt for Connor back then. “Twentysomething, I think. Tall, blond hair and blue eyes. With an accent. He’s from Australia originally and does jewelry design for the shop where Kat works.”

Janine looks thoughtful. “Hmm. He may be Iawi, but he’s not Sekhem. I didn’t even know anyone like that was nearby.”

“Khered?” Sue asks Janine.

“Must be,” Janine nods.

“What’s Khered?” It seems like every day there’s some new mysterious word they’re throwing around.

“Khered are like children,” Sue explains, a hint of disdain in her voice. “They’re Akhet, usually newer Akhet, who don’t want the responsibility of the knowledge and abilities that come to us over our lifetimes. They spend their time looking for personal gratification—fame, money, parties, drinking. Mostly frivolous activities. They generally shun the Sekhem and all we stand for, using up resources and enjoying themselves, and that’s about it. Improving the world for current and future generations isn’t on their radar.”

“Are there a lot of them?”

“More than enough,” Janine sneers. “But I’m surprised that an Iawi is mixed up with Khered. Usually by the time someone’s been around for a while they mature enough to leave that lifestyle behind.”

Sue leans forward on her elbows. “So, what are you going to do about this Drew person?”

“Nothing, if I can help it.” I look at Janine. “I know this is probably weird to hear because you’re his mom and all, but I love Griffon, and I want to spend as much time as I can with him in whatever lifetimes we’re lucky enough to be in together. We were drawn to each other after what happened between us last time. Griffon was the one who recognized that I’m Akhet, and he’s been there through all the craziness that’s happened since. If there’s any fate involved, mine is to be with Griffon. Not Drew.”

“Forgive me for saying this,” Janine says quietly, “but you don’t sound like you’re trying to convince me. Sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

“Watch that car!” Mom shouts, grabbing for the dashboard and pumping an imaginary brake on the passenger side. “He’s pulling out!”

“I see him,” I say irritably, turning the wheel to the left to avoid the Prius’ bumper. Driving with her is always a lesson in patience, as well as three-point turns and parallel parking. She freaks out about every little thing. I can’t wait until I take my driving test next month and can kick her out of the car.

“Get in the right lane. You’re going to turn right up here.”

“In, like, a mile,” I say, putting on the blinker just to shut her up. “I know where I’m going.” I wonder if I’ve had a driver’s license in a previous lifetime, because driving doesn’t seem all that hard.

“You should always anticipate your next move,” she says, craning her head back to make sure there’s no car in my blind spot.

“And the next move of everyone around me,” I finish for her. “I know. Maybe I should get my behind-the-wheel hours with Dad.”

She turns to me, a pained look on her face. “Why would you say something like that? It’s hurtful.”

“I’m just saying that Dad doesn’t get as . . . nervous as you do when we’re driving.”

“Well, forgive me for caring,” she says, folding her arms and slumping in the passenger seat.

“I know you care. I just need you to care a little more calmly.”

“Right!” she says, pointing. “Take a right here. The restaurant is just down this block. Look for a place to pull over.”

I slow down, looking for the restaurant. “Can I stay out past curfew? Just for tonight? I’ll be with Kat the whole time.”

“We agreed on midnight,” she says. “Nothing good ever happens after midnight.”

I double-park next to the row of cars that line the street. “I’m sixteen,” I say, my frustration mounting about my inability to change any of my parents’ stifling rules. “Almost seventeen. Soon I’m going to have a driver’s license, and with all of the money I’ve saved from giving cello lessons, Dad said he’d help me buy a car—”

“Look,” she interrupts. “I know how hard it is to be young. To have your first crush. I’m just trying to help you make the right choices.”

I get out of the car and slam the door. “I don’t need that kind of help. I’m not a baby.” I wish I could tell her how much I’ve been remembering lately. About being in England. About being an adult. That I really am not a little kid anymore.

A car pulls up behind ours and starts honking. I think for a second that Mom is going to give him the finger, but she just glares at the driver. “I know you’re not. And soon enough you’ll be away at school and can make your own decisions. But for now, the answer is midnight.” She glances into the restaurant. I can see Kat and Owen standing just inside the door. “Call me if you need a ride home.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Mom looks like she wants to say something else, but the car honks again, so she just gets in the driver’s seat and pulls out into traffic, swerving to dodge a car that’s pulling out in front of her.

Peter and Rayne walk up just as I’m reaching for the door, and Rayne lets go of his hand to give me a hug. “Are we late?”

“I don’t think so. I just got here. Had a driving lesson with Mom.”

“Ugh. How’s that going?” Rayne asks.

“Fabulous.”

The smells of garlic and lemongrass hit us as soon as we open the door, and I’m glad Kat picked Thai food for Owen’s going-away party. Griffon’s over in the corner talking on his phone, but as soon as he sees me, he hangs up and walks over to give me a kiss. “I missed you,” he says, squeezing my hand.

“Me too,” I say. I feel a pang of guilt about Drew. I’ll tell him, I promise myself. When the time is right. I’ve got nothing to hide.