Her fingers teased at the zipper, but it wasn't her touch that snapped my control. It wasn't the soft panting breaths that escaped her lips or the way her breasts teased at the neckline of her dress. It was the trust in her eyes, the hope. It called to me like she had when she first asked for my help. And I so wanted to fucking help her. Craved it.

I waited a beat, studying her eyes, my face an impassive mask despite my earlier reaction to her touch. Could I do this? Fuck her and leave her. It’d be the cruelest and kindest thing I'd ever done. Giving her back her freedom, her right to choose what to do with her own body. Reclaim her sexuality for the first time in over five years. I was already in deeper with this girl than I'd ever allowed myself to be. Could I let her go after this? Could she?

She deftly unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and her hand dipped inside to pull out my cock. I sucked in a breath at the feel of her small hand against me.

She moaned and my control snapped. I surged to my feet, her hand still tight around my cock, which put her in a vulnerable position in front of me. She didn't stop, kept gliding her hand up and down the length of me, her grip surprisingly potent. I stepped close enough that I could feel her breath on the head of my dick and my stomach tightened in anticipation.

I locked eyes with her and pulled her to her feet. The fabric of her dress pressed against me and I could feel her shallow breaths and rapid heartbeat. I smiled and pulled her closer with a hand on her neck. Between us she continued to jerk me off with slow, measured pulls.

I pressed my lips against the curve of her throat and my tongue lapped the line of it to her ear. “Are you sure this is what you want, Annie? You want me to fuck you? Say it?” I pulled her hand away, though it cost me and lifted her legs so they wrapped around my waist, her wet panties pressed right where they would do the most good.

She moaned and her head fell backwards. With a hand pressing against the small of her back so she rubbed against my cock, I walked us slowly towards our bedroom. My lips teased the shell of her ear. "Do you want me to make you come, Annie? Make you scream?"

Annie angled her head and whispered through a throaty laugh, “Yes, babe. Please.”

I kicked the door open with a foot and stutter stepped until I hit the bed. I set her on her feet and watched her response as I drew the dress up using the tips of my fingers to trace her skin as I went. Up her thighs, over her hips and the dip of her waist, the side of her breasts. She was left in a simple bra and panties and easily the sexiest woman I'd ever seen. She moved to take off my shirt, but I blocked her hands.

“No, tonight is for you. All for you. Lie down.”

She did, but her lips had pulled to a frown of uncertainty. I smiled inwardly as I knelt beside her, my knees by her hip and my hands on either side of her body. She watched me intently. I moved closer, sliding down onto my side next to her. I could smell the soft perfume she'd taken to wearing, a scent I knew I'd never forget. Her body strained closer as I hovered over her, lowered my lips to hers. She tasted like the wine we'd drunk, heady and intoxicating. She opened her mouth slowly, hesitantly and I forced myself not to be too enthusiastic. To go slow when I wanted to plunge my tongue into her mouth and take. Take it all. Take her.

Her body trembled and it was a feeling so sweet it made my heart hurt. How long had it been since she'd even felt an orgasm? Since she even wanted to orgasm? It was a vulnerable act, especially for a woman. Doubly so for this woman. It was about trust, not technique. Suddenly, in that moment, making this woman come was my mission.

Even though her soft mouth and sweet taste was incredibly inviting, I forced myself to pull away. Her mouth was red and swollen. Her tongue darted out to taste her lips and I followed the careful movement. She watched me with hooded, lazy eyes.

I smiled down at her as I lifted a hand to move the hair off of her forehead. She closed her eyes at my soft touch, her back arching off of the mattress with a loud creak. I trailed the hand down her face and along the soft line of her jaw. She sucked in a sharp breath as my hand continued down her neck to follow the soft material of her bra over the rise of her breast.

Her fingers grasped at the scratchy material of the polyester comforter when I dipped a finger under the cup of her bra to tease at the budding nipple. She whimpered at the back of her throat and it was so fucking hot that I shoved my face in her neck to drown out the sight of her rapt with pleasure. When I got my bearings back I moved the finger to pull the strap of her bra down her shoulder to bare her pretty pink tipped breasts. I trapped her arm under the strap and moved my head to take one into my mouth. Her other hand pressed my head closer, urging me to suck and nibble until she was panting in my ear. She drew long, deep breaths punctuated by breathy moans.

I kept at one breast, then lavished attention on the other until she was a writhing mess of need under my hands. A fine sheen of sweat covered her body and I lapped it up as my tongue traveled from her chest, down the centerline to dip in her belly button. I nibbled down her stomach to the line of her plain white panties. Nuzzling it with the scrape of my beard caused her to gasp in pleasure.

My breath was hot between her legs as I positioned one on my shoulder and held the other wide to bare her to my sight. With a finger, I moved the line of her panties and dipped inside to flick her hard clit with a practiced finger, then moved my hand just out of reach.

"Do you want me to touch you, Annie?" I pressed a light kiss just above where she was wet for me. "Where do you want me to touch you?"

"Patrick, please." Her voice was breathless with need. The look on her face was indescribable. Incandescent. The most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Her cheeks were rosy with lust. The blush spread down the gorgeous line of her neck and painted her chest pink. She'd undone her bra to bare her breasts and her black hair was spread across the pillows. She was so fucking beautiful it was agony not to cover her body and make her mine. "Touch me. I want you. Please."

I whispered a touch over her clit with the tips of my fingers. This wasn't going to be a quick rut in a dank room. This was going to be long, torturous. This would hopefully help her regain a small part of herself that she'd lost. Or at least I hoped that it did. If I couldn't be there for her, I wanted her to at least remember that I gave this back to her. A small part of me even hoped that it would be something she'd never forget.

The scent of her filled my nose as I touched my tongue to her pussy to tease and tempt. Her thighs clamped around my neck and her fingers grasped at my shoulders. I growled, trapping her wrists with my hands and holding them by her thighs, opening her farther to me. Her head arched back and I wished that I could see her face twisted with pleasure as my tongue fluttered over her, driving guttural moans from deep in her throat.

I released one wrist to hold her leg wider by the knee so I could have a free hand. She took the initiative to do the same with her other. With one finger and my tongue I circled her clit, pressing softly and then with more pressure sucking and fingering until her hips were circling the movement. Her whole body bucked on the bed and when I slipped two fingers deep inside her she exploded around them with a silent scream. Her entire body went taut for an endless moment and I eased up to watch the erotic response ripple across her face.

I watched until she melted into the bed. I watched until the small smile on her face slid into sleep. I watched until I was certain I could keep my own visceral emotional response in check. I watched until I knew that I could tuck the experience safely inside. Until I could stomach saying goodbye when it was the last thing I wanted to do.

14.

I could handle giving her an orgasm, but not waking up to her all sleepy and soft. She'd been wrapped around me like a vine, curled into my side with a leg thrown across my own, her breasts against my chest, her face tucked into my neck. I tucked that feeling away, too, and pulled away from the embrace and the longing that it stirred.

I wanted nothing more than to stir her from sleep with a repeat from the night before, but that would lead us both down a road that I wasn't sure we could come back from.

I was eating a pitiful excuse for a breakfast, runny, cold eggs and piss-poor coffee when she slipped into the galley kitchen in her meet-the-parents clothes. She was hesitant as she came closer, she looked almost hopeful.

The shame and regret twisted painfully in my chest when she smiled up at me, her cheeks flush with a burn from my beard. For the first time since I met her she seemed happy and it fucking pissed me off that I allowed myself to even get close to her to care about her goddamn feelings.

She fidgeted with the hem of her dress as I made her a cup of coffee and a plate of shitty food.

"Are you packed? Embassy opens at zero seven hundred and we want to get you there ASAP."

Confusion muddled her face and though I wanted to sidle up to her and tuck her into the comfort of my arm, I resisted. "Yeah, I've got everything. How do I look?"

Her face glowed, as it had last night. All I wanted in that moment was to drag her back to our room and take back my promise not to fuck her. Instead I frowned. “You look fine. Kyle and Vic will wait outside and I’ll walk you in. Once I’m sure you’re in safe hands, I’ll go.”

She blinked back tears, though I ignored them. I tried to pretend they were tears of excitement, but I could tell by her white pallor and tense stance that she was petrified.

She ate her breakfast in silence and I was both thankful and angry about every fucking thing. She finished and threw away the soggy paper plate, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Let’s go.”

I took her hand and led her off the boat and dock. Vic and Kyle carried our luggage to the car. Annie and I sat on a bench outside the parking lot. Her eyes darted around, staring at the people heading to the dock. One couple looked right at us and Annie’s gaze lowered to the ground almost instantly. She tapped her foot and clutched my arm, almost leaving marks.

She turned to me. “About last night, I wanted to apologize—”

I cut her off. “Don’t. It's done. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

“Will you come see me when you return from deployment? I really would like to see you again. I think we have a connection.”

Man, I didn’t need this. After all I’d done for her, she was putting this guilt on me. “Annie, I don’t think that’s a good idea. We’ll be bonded together forever because of this. But that’s all there is. A memory. You’re confusing your gratitude for your freedom with your feelings toward me. You don’t know me. And I don’t really know you, either. We have nothing in common. It was what it was. Once you’re back home, you’ll get back with your rich, surfer boyfriend that keeps telling the press how much he misses you, and you’ll forget I exist.”

“That’s impossible. And I doubt that Chris has stayed faithful all these years. I’m sure he has a ton of girls. I’m not the same person I was when I left. No one has ever done anything for me like you have. I need you. I won’t be able to forget you.”

“Well, you’re going to have to. I’m not the man you think I am.”

Kyle pulled the car around with Vic in the passenger seat.

I opened the door for her and she squeezed inside. I sat next to her and held her hand. I didn’t want to be a dick to her; I just didn’t want to give her any hope that there was a future for us. Because there wasn’t.

As we drove away from the ocean, I looked out back at the dock. Despite the horrors Annie had endured on this island, I couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty of the ocean, as the majestic sunrise welcomed us. But this tropical paradise would always be marred by what had happened to Annie.

Our car approached the embassy. Annie had chill bumps on her arms, and I put my arm around her to comfort her.

I helped Annie out of the car. Vic and Kyle both emerged to say goodbye.

“Thank you both for everything: meds, making me laugh. I hope I’ll see you guys again.”

Vic gave her a hug. “Good luck, sweetheart.”

Kyle also embraced her. “Of course we’ll see you again. You’re Pat’s girl. I’m counting on hooking up with all your hottie friends.”