Her mother carried the iced tea glasses to the table. “Come join us,” she told Bobby who hovered in the background.

He reluctantly took the fourth chair.

Elissa accepted a drink, then sipped while everyone stared at her.

There was a surreal combination of old memories and a new situation. She wasn’t sitting in her usual chair. The view was wrong, even discounting the remodel. But she couldn’t remember where she usually sat.

“You’ve grown up,” her father said.

“You’re so pretty,” her mother told her. “You’re all right? Healthy and everything? Do you have a job?”

“I’m good. I’m a waitress and I make jewelry on the side.”

Saying it all aloud made her want to cringe. She’d been raised to believe she would go to college and have a career, not work in a diner and barely get by. Still, she’d survived on her own under difficult circumstances and she refused to apologize for that.

“So you don’t need money?” her father asked.

Elissa stiffened. “No, Dad. I didn’t come here for money or anything. I wanted to get in touch with you.”

“Kevin, don’t,” her mother said. “Elissa’s back. That’s a good thing.”

“I know that,” her father said. “I’m happy. It’s just…” He frowned. “You were gone for so long. We didn’t know what happened to you. Your mother…”

“I missed you,” Leslie said, interrupting him and smiling. “Where do you live now? In Washington?”

Elissa remembered what Bobby had said about her mother having to go away for a rest. Had she had some kind of emotional collapse? Guilt settled in her stomach. If something had happened, Elissa’s disappearance was the reason.

“I live here. In Seattle.”

“Seattle?” Her mother’s mouth trembled. “So close. For how long?”

“A few years now.”

“But you n-never…” Leslie pressed her fingers to her mouth. “I see.”

Elissa’s father released her hand. “You didn’t want to call and let us know you were all right? You didn’t think that was important?”

Bobby swallowed and stood. “That’s my fault.” He cleared his throat. “Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something. I’m really sorry. I know you’re going to be angry and upset and I can’t blame you. What I did was wrong.”

Both their parents stared at him. “This isn’t a good time, Bobby,” Leslie said, her voice shaking. “Not a good time at all.”

Kevin put his hand on her shoulder. “Just relax, Leslie. We’re fine. Everyone is fine.”

Bobby shifted his weight and looked as if he would rather be run over and left for roadkill than speak. “I, ah, I’m the reason Elissa never got in touch with you before.”

As Elissa still didn’t know how she felt about what Bobby had done, she didn’t feel the need to come to his rescue now. She kept quiet while he explained her phoning and what he’d told her.

Her mother turned back to her. “Elissa, no! How could you believe that of us? Of course we wanted to talk to you, have you come home. Do you know what we went through? Do you know how hard it was? How horrible?” She stood and faced her son. “Bobby, why? You saw. How could you have kept this from me?”

She took a step, then gasped and sank back in the chair. Kevin was at her side in an instant.

“Leslie?”

“I’m fine.”

Elissa half rose, then sat down. “Mom, are you all right?”

Her mother gave her a shaky smile. “Of course. This brings back so much. Don’t worry about me.”

The words said all the right things, but the darkness in her eyes told another story. Her leaving had changed everything, Elissa thought unhappily, and not for the better.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m so sorry I ran away. I should have called.”

“You should have come home,” her father snapped.

Elissa stiffened.

“She tried,” Bobby said. “Don’t blame her, blame me.”

His willingness to take all the responsibility surprised her. “It wasn’t just that,” she told her brother. “I shouldn’t have left in the first place.”

“I’m better, Kevin. I’m all right,” her mother said, then patted her husband’s hand. “It was that boy, wasn’t it? The one you were dating.”

“Mitch,” Elissa said. “Yeah, he’s the one I ran away with. We ended up in L.A.”

“I knew it,” her mother said, fighting tears. “I just knew it.”

“We looked in Los Angeles,” her father said. “There were too many kids down there. On the streets, in shelters.”

Elissa hated thinking what they must have gone through. “I wasn’t in either place. I lived with Mitch for a few months. Then we broke up and I got a job with another band.” She decided to gloss over the more sordid aspects of her earlier life. “It turns out I had a great knack for finding cheap accommodations and making other travel arrangements, so that’s what I did. I was paid in cash and usually rented a room in an apartment with a bunch of girls, so there’s no way you could have traced me.”

There was that look again, between her parents. What were they thinking? That she was nothing but a disappointment? That they’d expected no more of her?

“I can’t believe you thought we wouldn’t want to talk to you,” her mother said. “I loved you, Elissa. You were my daughter.”

Elissa did her best not to read too much into the past tense of the words. “I know, Mom. I was young and stupid and…” She almost said scared, but quickly changed it. “Confused. I felt a lot of guilt and what Bobby told me actually made sense at the time. Looking back, I know I should have asked more questions.”

Her mother pointed to the empty chair. “Sit down, Bobby. What you did was wrong, but we’ll talk about it later.”

Her brother did as requested, but he looked as if he wished he could disappear. For the first time since hearing his story, Elissa felt compassion for him. What he’d gone through couldn’t have been easy.

“I screwed up big-time,” she said honestly. “I’m so sorry. If I could change what I did, I would.”

Her mother attempted a smile. “It’s all right. You’re home. That’s enough, isn’t it, Kevin?”

Her father nodded slowly, as if he would need more convincing.

Elissa’s throat tightened. Somehow she’d expected open arms and unconditional acceptance. Not questions and a messy past.

Her mother drew in a breath and squared her shoulders. “So, what brought you back to Seattle?”

Interesting question, Elissa thought, not sure how much she wanted to tell her parents. “I got pregnant,” she said, knowing there was no point in hiding that. “That’s why I called home. I was scared…anyway, it all worked out.”

Her mother paled. “You have a baby? I have a grandchild?”

Elissa nodded. “Her name is Zoe. She’s five and about to start kindergarten. She’s wonderful, Mom. Smart and funny and curious about everything.”

“A grandchild? Oh, Kevin.” The tears started again.

“You named her Zoe?” her father asked, his voice a little warmer now.

“After Grandma Zoe.”

“She would have liked that,” he said gruffly.

“Who’s the father?” her mother asked. “I take it you two aren’t together anymore?”

“He’s dead,” she said, knowing there was no point in trying to explain the Neil portion of her life. Sometimes she still didn’t understand it herself.

“But he was a rock singer?” Her father asked the question in the same tone of voice he would use to ask if she recently picked up head lice.

“And a songwriter.” She drew in a deep breath. “I know I made a lot of mistakes. Everyone does-mine just had permanent consequences. But I survived. I have a good life. Zoe and I are happy together. I made it and I guess I owe a lot of that to what you taught me when I was growing up.”

“If you’d respected what we’d taught you-” her father said, but her mother cut him off with a shake of her head.

“What made you come back now?” her mother asked.

Elissa looked her brother. “Bobby hired a private detective to find me. He wanted me to know what he’d done and try to make things right. Once I knew you hadn’t turned your back on me, I wanted to get in touch.”

“Of course we wouldn’t turn our backs on you,” her mother said. “Elissa, you’re our daughter and we love you. We’ll always love you. No matter what.”

Would they? Did they? Then why had the detective who found her been hired by her brother rather than her parents? In L.A. she’d been living off the grid, but in Seattle she had a job, an apartment, credit cards. She wouldn’t have been that hard to track down. Neil did it on a regular basis. But they hadn’t.

She knew in her heart that if something had happened to Zoe, she would never have stopped looking, no matter what. So what had made that different for her parents?

ELISSA SPENT THE REST of the afternoon working on her jewelry and thinking about the meeting with her family. While they’d said all the right things and had expressed interest in meeting Zoe, she couldn’t help feeling that something was off.

Maybe it was her. Maybe her fantasy of the homecoming was so based in perfect television families that she couldn’t deal with reality. Maybe she was wishing for the moon.

Needing someone else’s counsel, Elissa waited until Zoe was asleep, then walked up to Walker’s apartment.

“I understand that we have an undefined relationship and that we both agree that we’re not getting involved,” she said when he’d opened his door. “But I like to think we’re friends, and right now I need someone to talk to, so you’re going to have to suck it up and be that person. Do you have a problem with that?”

He stared at her for a couple of seconds, grinned, then asked, “Do you want me to bring liquor?”

“Sure. If you have it.”

“I’ll be right down.”

He appeared at her front door less than a minute later. She sighed in appreciation at the bottles of vodka and tonic he brought nearly as much as the way he looked in worn jeans and a loose T-shirt. There was something to be said for a winning combination of potentially mind-numbing booze and male eye-candy.

“You have ice?” he asked.

“Always. I even have a lime.”

She led the way into the kitchen where she got out her ice tray, then collected two glasses. Her lime was a naked little thing, huddling in the fruit basket.

“I used the zest earlier,” she said as she sliced it into eighths. “We had Caribbean tacos for dinner. Lots of citrus.”

He poured, she squeezed, then they silently toasted each other. She took a drink, then sighed as the cold, tart drink settled in her stomach.

“Perfect.”

He led the way into the living room. When they were both settled on the sofa, he asked, “What happened?”

She took another drink. “I went to see my parents today. It was weird. Like being in a time warp. Everything was nearly the same, but it wasn’t. I felt uncomfortable and angry and confused. My mom is different. More emotionally frail. My dad was critical. I wanted a big party to celebrate my homecoming and all they had were questions.”

“In some ways it’s easier not to have to answer to anyone. Now you’re back in their lives. There are going to be explanations and misunderstandings. None of you are the same.”

“I get that. Time has passed. But I feel like everything is my fault. I’m the one who left and set this all in motion.”

“You’re only responsible for yourself.”

“Am I?” She clutched her drink in both hands. “I think my mom had a breakdown or something. That’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not. Her reaction to the situation is her responsibility.”

“Isn’t that like saying if I hit someone with my car, their injuries are their fault because they weren’t fast enough to get out of the way?”

“Not the same at all. Yes, you ran away and there were consequences. But you can only be blamed for some of them. If she lost it because you ran away, then she wasn’t strong in the first place.”

“That’s a little too tidy for me. What I did pushed her over the edge.”

“Why do you feel it necessary to take on all the pain?”

Good question. “Habit, maybe. I’m always the one responsible.”

“With you and Zoe, sure. But not anywhere else. I’m not saying you were right to run away. It was a dumbass teenage response to whatever was going on. But you made it and without a lot of outside help. That’s good. Yes, your parents suffered and you’re the reason. But you didn’t make your mother have a breakdown. There was something already in her that caused that.”

“I hope you’re right. My guilt card is pretty full.” She sipped her drink. “Family stuff is never easy.”

“I know.”

“You never talk about your parents. Just Gloria and the siblings.”

“Sounds like a rock band,” he said. “No parents. They died a long time ago. They weren’t very close. I guess they’d been in love once, but by the time I was aware of their relationship, they were just going through the motions. My dad drank a lot. I think it was to escape from his mother. My mom was quiet-sad, I guess. Gloria made her life hell in more ways than we’ll ever know.”