Kate Hoffmann - Kellan

Maggie paused. “Is everything well with you, then?” she asked.

Kellan nodded. “Yeah. I love her, Ma. She’s really something. And you’ll love her, too.”

Maggie reached out and placed her palm on his cheek. “If you love her, Kellan, I know I will. Just follow your heart and you’ll never go wrong.”

“Thanks, Ma,” he murmured. “Now I have to steal some paper and ribbon. I have to wrap her gift.”

“Upstairs on the kitchen table. Take the silver foil and the gold ribbon. And one of those little gold glitter bells to make it pretty. What are you going to give her?”

“Something that I’ve been holding on to for a very long time.”

GELSEY SAT IN THE DARKENED ROOM, staring into the flickering fire. Nearby, an elaborately decorated Christmas tree twinkled with tiny white lights. Everything was exactly as she remembered it, the house smelling of freshly baked gingerbread and pine boughs.

She’d driven to Cork to shop that morning, picking up presents for Caroline, Nan and Jordan. They lay wrapped beneath the tree. She’d struggled with a present for Kellan, unable to decide on anything suitable. She’d looked at expensive watches and interesting books, designer clothes and antique fountain pens, but nothing seemed right.

It might have helped if she knew where she stood with him. But since their argument the day before, Gelsey had been too embarrassed to call him. And he’d obviously been too angry to call her. Things had been so perfect between them and now everything had fallen apart.

She pressed her palm to her heart, aware of the ache that had settled there. Over and over, she’d questioned her feelings for him, but now, faced with a life all alone, she’d come to realize that she was in love with Kellan.

Her days and nights meant something when she was with him. She wasn’t just racing through life, she was actually living it, breathing it all in and savoring each moment. She’d tried to think about her time with Antonio and not one second could be marked as memorable. But every moment with Kellan had been etched into her mind, a vivid picture of perfect happiness.

Last Christmas had been spent on a beach in Thailand, drunk on champagne after Antonio had presented her with a diamond engagement ring, the same ring she’d thrown into the sea. Everything in her life had changed and yet, she didn’t regret a single decision she’d made.

She took a sip of her wine, then stretched her stocking feet out to the warmth of the fire. She picked up her magazine and flipped through the article on Irish linens. Since yesterday, she’d been racking her mind trying to come up with an alternate plan for a shop, but everything she thought of just didn’t seem to excite her. Irish linens, rare books, designer fashions, Gaelic art, hand-crafted jewelry… She had lots of ideas, but no passion for any of them.

Her mind wandered to thoughts of Kellan. That’s where her passion focused. She could imagine the Quinn-family Christmas, laughing and teasing, everyone in a boisterous mood. Gifts spilling out from under a tree, endless plates of food. She’d never had a Christmas like that, with boundless happiness. The holidays had always brought tension between her parents, before and after the divorce.

But this Christmas would be a fresh start. From here, she’d begin to build a life for herself. And if it couldn’t be in Ballykirk, then she’d find another spot, maybe Bantry or Glengarriff. This next year was going to be even more exciting than the past month had been.

“I’ll get that,” Caroline called, poking her head in the room.

Gelsey looked away from the fire. “What?”

“The door,” Caroline said. “There’s someone at the door.”

“Oh,” Gelsey said. “Fine.” A pair of photographers had camped out on the road in front of the gate, waiting for her to come out, but she didn’t plan to give them the satisfaction. Maybe one of them had decided to venture up to the door. “If it’s a photographer, call the garda.”

Caroline disappeared and Gelsey went back to her contemplation of the fire-and of Christmases past. A smile touched her lips. “Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la, la la la la.” She took another sip of her wine. After dinner, she and Caroline would share dessert and a glass of sherry and then they’d both go to bed. And one more Christmas in her life would be over.

“Gelsey? You have a visitor.”

Gelsey twisted around. “A visitor?”

“It’s Kellan. He’s brought a gift. He’d like to see you. Can I show him in?”

She hesitated. “Sure. Tell him to come in.”

She got to her feet, the wineglass still clutched in her hand, and sat on the arm of the sofa. When he appeared in the doorway, her breath caught in her throat and she had to remind herself to take another. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he murmured. “I hope I’m not disturbing-”

“No, I was just sitting here having-”

“It’s Christmas Eve and-”

“Would you like a glass of wine?” Gelsey jumped up to fetch him a drink from the small table against the wall. When she’d filled the glass, she held it out to him. “Sit. The fire is warm. It’s so damp outside. Your hair is wet.”

“Are we actually talking about the weather?” Kellan asked.

“I hope not.” She sat down on the sofa and he took a spot next to her.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I should have been more supportive.”

“No,” Gelsey said. “I was acting like a spoiled brat. You were right. I don’t know anything about having a job. These things happen all the time. I need to learn to adjust my plans.”

“It’s caused a bit of a stir around town,” he said. “I spoke to Dealy this morning and he and the rest of the tourism committee are very concerned. The only one in town who seems happy about your leaving is Maeve.”

“Well, I’m glad that I could help her out. Maybe she’ll keep some of the changes I made.”

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

Gelsey shrugged. “I’m going to take my time and explore all my options.”

“Would one of those options be spending the rest of your life with me?”

Reaching out, she took his hand in hers. “I do love you, Kellan. I’m certain of that. But-”

He put his finger over her lips. “No buts,” he said. “Let me just let that first part sink in for a few moments.” He closed his eyes, a smile of pleasure curling the corners of her mouth. “Yeah, that was nice. You love me.”

“I do,” she said from behind his finger. Gently she pulled his hand away. “But I’ve got to take some time to get to know myself.”

“We could do that together,” Kellan said. “I hardly know you. We could kill two birds with one stone.”

Gelsey laughed. “I suppose you’re right. But I’m not sure you’re ready for the person I might be. I’ve done a lot of really idiotic things in my life and living a true and real life is probably going to be difficult. I’m going to get frustrated and impatient and I know I’m going to say stupid things.”

“Gelsey, I love you exactly the way you are. I wouldn’t have you change a thing. And if you can put up with me, then I can certainly put up with you.”

“I’m just not sure I’m ready for a relationship yet,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve ever not been in a relationship. I’ve just moved from one man to another. I broke my engagement to Antonio one night and met you the next morning.”

“So, if we aren’t together, maybe we could just be friends. You don’t have a lot of friends around here, except for Nan and Jordan. We could spend time together, maybe have dinner a few times a week and-”

“I thought you might take a project in France,” she said.

“I decided against that,” he replied. “I’m going to be sticking close to home for a while.”

“Is that because of me?” she asked.

“No, it’s because of me. I’m doing it for purely selfish reasons. And I’ve got a job in Ballykirk that will keep me busy for a while.” He glanced down at the gift he held. “I brought you something. A Christmas gift. Even if we are just friends, I wanted you to have this.” He nodded. “Go ahead, open it.”

Gelsey neatly pulled away the silver paper to reveal the old biscuit tin she’d buried on the beach. She smoothed her hand over the dented top, the illustration faded by time. “I gave this to you the first time we met,” she said. “I buried it in the sand hoping you would find it.”

“Me?”

“I used to watch you and your brothers from the top of the cliff and I thought you were the most beautiful boy in the entire world. I was madly and hopelessly in love with you.”

“Have you known it was me this whole time?”

“I think I did. But I found the box in the bedside table, and then I knew for sure.” Gelsey glanced up, tears clouding her vision. “You were the first boy I ever kissed.”

“You were the first girl I ever kissed. And I was in love with you, too. I went back to the cove every time I could, hoping you’d be there again. But you never came back.”

Gelsey slipped her fingers through his, her gaze fixing on their hands locked together. “Thank you for bringing it back.”

“There’s something inside,” he said. “Besides your treasures. Open it up.”

She pulled off the lid and recognized all the contents except for one thing. Gelsey pulled out the key and held it up. “What is this for? The cottage?”

Kellan shook his head. “No. It’s for your future. If you decide to stay here, to make a life here, then that key will open up an interesting opportunity.”

“What is it?” she asked.

“You’ll just have to come to Ballykirk and find out for yourself.”

“I’m coming for Nan and Riley’s wedding,” she said. “Before that, I’m going to New York to see my mother. My father will be there, too. He has some meetings in Washington after the first of the year.”

“You are coming back,” Kellan said.

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m just going to be gone a few days.”

Kellan slowly stood. Gelsey wanted to pull him back down, to stay with her for the rest of the evening. But she knew he had places to be. Christmas with the family and church after that. “Thank you for coming,” she said. “I’m sorry I didn’t have a gift for you.”

“But you did.” He pointed to her face. “That smile. I’m going to enjoy that for weeks. And you said you love me. That’s better than a lump of coal in a guy’s stocking. I guess I’ll see you at the wedding then,” he said.

“I’ll walk you to the door.” Gelsey slipped her arm through his and they slowly strolled out into the foyer. She wanted to lead him right up the stairs and into her bedroom. She didn’t want him to leave. Yet, she had to force herself to let him go. Making love to him now would only confuse matters.

When they reached the door, he turned to face her. “Happy Christmas, Gels.”

“Happy Christmas, Kellan.”

They stood there for a long time, just looking into each other’s eyes. “Where is the mistletoe when you really need it?” he murmured.

She laughed softly. “I think a Christmas kiss wouldn’t do either of us any harm.”

With a low sigh, Kellan cupped her face in his hands. Her gaze fixed on his and he bent close and kissed her, lingering over her mouth for a long time before drawing away.

“There. Now the world is right again,” he said.

“Please give your family my best wishes,” she said.

“I will.” He reached for the door, then paused before he opened it. “I love you, Gelsey. I hope you won’t forget that.”

“And I love you,” she said.

He nodded, then opened the door and walked out. Gelsey watched him as he got in the car. Kellan gave her a wave before he drove away. She smiled to herself. It was a beginning, like the kiss they’d shared in the meadow all those years ago.

She glanced down to find that she was still holding the tin in her hand. “My box of dreams,” she said. Funny how her dreams had grown so large that a tiny box could never contain them now.

KELLAN STOOD in the front of the church dressed in his best suit and tie. Danny stood beside him in Kellan’s second-best suit and tie. Guests had begun to arrive a half hour before the wedding ceremony and he scanned the crowd, searching for Gelsey. She sneaked into church just before the bride started down the aisle, and Kellan realized she’d probably been helping Nan and Jordan get ready.

“You can take a breath now,” Danny whispered. “She’s here.”

“Yeah,” Kellan said. “All right. So things are definitely looking up.”

As the organ began to play the processional, the three brothers walked to the railing and waited there for Jordan and the bride. Riley and Nan had planned a simple ceremony, but they’d spent time decorating the church with vivid red poinsettias, fragrant pine garlands and hundreds of candles.

Nan looked beautiful, but Kellan’s full attention was focused at the rear of the church, on Gelsey. She wore a fashionable hat and pretty green coat, almost the color of the dress she’d been wearing the morning he found her on the beach.