Kristen Ashley - Law Man

The instant my eyes saw it, my mind retreated and it didn’t register on me. I saw my sofa and armchair had been slashed, the stuffing everywhere. I saw my television turned over on its face, smashed. Parts of my stereo strewn around the room. CDs, DVDs books from my shelves everywhere, cases broken, discs broken, books torn. I saw everything in my kitchen cupboards was all over the counters and some of it peeking out on the floor at the end of the bar. Broken crockery. Even food.

Holy crap.

I wandered down the hall and reached into the hall bathroom to turn on the light. I didn’t keep much in there but what was in there was all over the place.

I moved to my bedroom and turned on that light. My Spring Deluxe was slashed too. Completely laid to waste. My raspberry sheets and blush comforter cover with its embroidered raspberry flowers with delicate, grass green stems and leaves was shredded, feathers from my duvet and pillows all over the place. My clothes were everywhere, my dresser drawers pulled out and tossed, broken, across the room, their contents tangled with the feathers and shreds of my sheets.

I walked to my bathroom and more of the same. Tampon boxes emptied, tampons all over the sink and floor. The plastic pulled away from toilet paper rolls, the rolls unrolled. Bottles and tubs of my toiletries open, their insides spilling out, mingled with tampons and toilet paper and staining my towels and extra sheets that had been yanked out of my bathroom closet. My medicine cabinet looted. Even my ibuprofen capsules were littered everywhere.

“Mara, sweetheart, just grab what you need and –” I heard Mitch say from close but I moved, drifting out of the room and down the hall where I switched the light on to the kids’ room.

The same there. Their new beds where annihilated. The bedclothes slashed and shredded. Their new and old clothes scattered across the room.

I saw something and walked to it, picking up the remnants of Billie’s new, tiny, pink fluffy teddy bear that Mitch bought her. She loved that thing. It was the nicest toy she owned. She slept with it every night since he gave it to her. Every night. She never let it go even as heavy as she slept.

She never let it go.

Why would Mom and Lulamae do this? Why?

As these things go, whatever fog that had drifted around me cleared and the crushing weight of what I was seeing landed on me.

I needed new everything. The kids did too.

Everything.

Without me telling my body to do it, I folded into a deep, knees-closed squat, my ass to my ankles, my knees in my chest. I wrapped my arms around the back of my head as I pressed my face into my knees, feeling the soft fur of Billie’s decimated teddy bear brushing my cheek.

“Fuck,” I heard Mitch mutter.

I was sobbing into my knees, oblivious to everything but the hatred and ugliness that surrounded me. All that was hideous about the home I grew up in washing through my life, the one I’d worked so hard to build, the one I desperately wanted to give Billy and Billie. As ever, all I knew, all I was, all that was contained in the blood flowing through my veins shredding everything good that I worked so hard to have.

More fool I that I thought I’d ever get away from it, escape it. Ever.

I felt myself moving and then I was in Mitch’s arms. I wound mine around his neck, pressed my face in his throat and sobbed silently against his skin as he carried me through my apartment. I vaguely heard the police tape tearing off the doorframe and we were in the breezeway. Then we were in Mitch’s apartment.

“Oh fuck,” I heard Bray whisper. “That doesn’t look like it went too well.”

I didn’t lift my head and Mitch didn’t pause in walking as I heard him issue orders.

“Go get LaTanya,” Mitch said to Bray. “Mara’ll need stuff for a while. Tell her she needs to be careful about what she touches; she only touches what she’s bringin’ over. Nothin’ else. Can you do that for Mara?”

“Absolutely,” Bradon replied.

Then Mitch was moving funny and I vaguely noticed he was no longer standing but sitting. I was folded in his lap, his arms tight around me. This didn’t register except that I burrowed deeper and held on tighter, pressing my face hard into his neck.

One of his hands started stroking my back. I felt his head tilt down and his lips at my ear.

“It’s okay, baby, everything’s gonna be okay,” he whispered there.

“I wah…worked so hard,” I stammered back.

“I know,” Mitch replied gently.

“I wah…worked so hard to be eh…eh…everything they weren’t. To have duh…decent things around me,” I stuttered into his skin. “Wah…wah…why do they hate me so much? What did I ever do to them except bah…bah…breathe?”

Mitch didn’t respond but he kept his head tilted to me, I could feel his cheek pressed against my hair and I felt his hand moving, warm and soothing on my back. After a while it penetrated that this felt nice and when it did, my tears started to subside.

Mitch heard it and repeated, “Everything’s gonna be okay, Mara.”

I nodded against his neck not believing him for a second.

In a cautious voice, he asked, “Do you have renter’s insurance?”

I blinked at his neck. Then I pulled my face out of it, his head came up and my watery eyes went to his.

“Pardon?”

“Renter’s insurance, baby, do you have it?”

Oh my God! I did! I totally did! I had maximum protection! The insurance guy was in fits of ecstasy when I signed on the dotted line. He said no one opted for my policy. He even told me that although it went against the grain, he advised I didn’t need that much protection. I didn’t care. It was my experience if something bad could happen, it would and I was always planning for that day.

And that day had come.

Relief swept through me so strong, I pulled back from Mitch but only so I could do the exact same thing I did the night before. I placed a hand on either side of his handsome head and pulled his face to me as I leaned and kissed him hard and quick on his mouth.

Then I yanked back and threw both my arms up in the air, smiling big and saying loudly, “I do! I have maximum protection!” I dropped my arms, wrapped my hands around his neck and bent my forehead to touch his, closing my eyes hard and I breathed, “Thank God. I forgot. Thank God.” I opened my eyes and looked into his. “I’m covered. We’re covered. Thank God!”

I watched close up as his fathomless, dark brown eyes smiled. Then I felt close up as his attractive deep voice rumbled, “That’s good, honey.”

Then I realized I was in Detective Mitch Lawson’s lap, my hands curled around his neck and not only had I just kissed him (again), I had my forehead on his.

I jerked back and one second later I found myself on my back in what was a bed, Mitch’s bed, and Mitch’s torso was pinning me to it.

Oh boy.

“Mitch,” I breathed, staring up at him with what I knew were wide eyes.

“You’re on a wicked roller coaster ride, sweetheart, I get that, it sucks and I’m sorry. But I saw it comin’ over you, you were about to close down on me and I’m tellin’ you I’m not gonna let you do that. Not after what you just saw and not after how you reacted and especially not how you came right outta that cocoon and gave me you. For ten minutes I had the real Mara in my arms, her light shining unfiltered all around me. I liked it and I’m not givin’ it back so don’t fuckin’ think you can take it from me.”

My heart started beating double time and I whispered, “Mitch, I can’t –”

“You can, I know you can because you just did,” he cut me off, lifted his hand to frame one side of my face, his thumb sweeping across the wetness still on my cheek. “I do not want to freak you more than you’re freaked and I’ll preface this by sayin’ that whatever is goin’ down I’m in this for the long haul, for you, for those kids, you have my promise on that, sweetheart. But my guess is it wasn’t the Trailer Trash Twins who did that to your place.”

I gasped at this news and he kept talking.

“Someone was lookin’ for somethin’, Mara, somethin’ they want really badly. That wasn’t vandalism. That was desperation.”

And that was when my heart stopped beating double time because it stopped beating altogether.

Finally I forced out a, “What?”

Mitch didn’t repeat himself. Instead he stated, “Seems I’m gonna have to start diggin’ a little deeper into your cousin Bill.”

Oh no. Oh shit. Oh no!

“Was that…” I swallowed, “was that the Russian mob?”

He shook his head. “The Russian mob don’t act desperate. I don’t know what that was and I don’t know who but I’m gonna find out.”

Oh boy. The way he said that made me believe he was going to do it and stop at nothing in order to do it.

“Mitch –”

He kept talking over me. “And while I do that, Mara, I’m keepin’ you safe. I’m keepin’ those kids safe and you don’t have a choice in that, sweetheart. That’s just the way it’s gonna be.”

Oh boy. The way he said that made me believe he was going to do it and stop at nothing to do it.

“I think –” I started.

“No thinking. No discussion. Nothing. Mara, I told you that’s the way it’s gonna be, I mean that’s the way it’s gonna be.”

He stared down at me. I stared up at him. Then I closed my eyes tight and saw flashes of the destruction of my apartment so I opened them fast.

Then I asked quietly, “Do you think we’re, um…unsafe?”

“I don’t give a fuck if you are or you aren’t. You’re gonna be,” he promised.

I stared up at him. He stared down at me.

Then I made a decision because it wasn’t just me I had to protect from the forces outside I had no control over. Forces that could do that to my home which meant they might be forces that could do worse things, such as hurt Billy, Billie or me. And I couldn’t put me protecting myself against all things Detective Mitch Lawson before the safety of Billy and Billie.

So before I could chicken out, I whispered, “Okay.”

Mitch stared down at me. Then his eyes roamed my face while his thumb did another sweep of my cheek.

When they captured mine, they were warm, a whoosh swooped through my belly and he whispered back, “Okay.”

Something made me open my eyes; I stared into the dark and was instantly disoriented. This was because I didn’t know where I was.

Then I remembered.

My mind reeled back to LaTanya and Bradon, with the addition of Brent and Derek, all coming over with some of my clothes, makeup and toiletries, doing the best they could with the hand they were dealt. Mitch, by this time, wisely had started plying me with wine. LaTanya, Derek and Brent gave me hugs and hung out for a glass of wine and to ascertain I wasn’t going to have a nervous breakdown. Then Mitch talked me into getting ready for bed at the same time declaring in Mitch Firm Voice that I was sleeping in his while he slept on the couch. The very thought of this freaked me out though I tried not to let it show and I did this by arguing feebly with him.

My arguments were weak because I’d witnessed the devastation of my apartment, sobbed in his arms and agreed to temporarily move in with the man I was secretly in love with at the same time trying to get out of my life and I’d had two glasses of wine. I was in no shape for anything but bed. Even arguing with Mitch which I had proven I could do even exhausted. And anyway, I rarely won an argument with Mitch so what was the point further exhausting myself by going whole hog?

Not to mention the fact that LaTanya and Derek, Bray and Brent were watching Mitch and my byplay with undisguised fascination. This, of course, freaked me out more.

So I gave in and went to Mitch’s master bath, did my before sleep prep of face cleansing, teeth brushing and moisturizing and then I went to Mitch’s room, sucked in a calming breath and crawled into his huge, very cool bed.

Mitch’s bedroom was much like his living room and, after perusal, the rest of his apartment which included kickass stools around his bar and an absolutely gorgeous and utterly unique wood and steel dining room table. His bedroom furniture was made of wood so dark it was nearly black; it was handsome, heavy and fabulous. He had a tall bureau and a midnight blue club chair with ottoman in front of it, floor lamp and table at the side all in the corner of his bedroom that screamed at you to curl up, relax for long hours and read.