Kristen Ashley - Law Man

My heart skipped, I let out my breath and closed my eyes.

God, that felt good.

No, that felt great.

I opened my eyes as Mitch kept going.

“And I grew up in a close family and I always knew I wanted one of those too. So, I cannot promise you life is gonna run perfect. I cannot tell the future. What I can say is, what we have when you and me are tossin’ a ball or mannin’ the grill or sittin’ at the table doin’ your homework, that means something to me. It’s important to me. And when something’s important, you take care of it. I have times like that with your sister and Mara. Those times mean something to me. They’re important and I’ll promise you this right now, I’ll do everything in my power to take care of it, all of it, all of you. I can’t tell the future but I can promise you that. Now, do you trust me?”

Billy’s hand clenched mine as he whispered, “I trust you, Mitch,” and I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

Mitch didn’t miss a beat. “Good,” he muttered. “So, Mara appreciates it when you run the vacuum and we’ll expect you to do your chores and get good grades but you gotta stop knockin’ yourself out to make life smooth for everybody. From now on, you just be Bud. Let life be what it’s gonna be and trust in the fact that we’ll face whatever’s comin’ as a family. Can you do that for Mara and me?”

“Yes,” Billy whispered as his hand held mine harder and another tear fell down my cheek.

“Good,” Mitch muttered again then he lifted a hand, curled it around Billy’s neck and he pulled him even closer to his face. And when he got him close, his face changed in a way I understood immediately and I prayed Billy, who didn’t miss anything, understood it too.

But he didn’t have to.

Because Mitch laid it out.

“I love you, Bud,” he whispered to Billy and two more tears escaped.

“I love you too, Mitch,” Billy whispered back, my breath hitched and both males’ eyes came to me.

I waved my wineglass at them and murmured, “Don’t mind me. Have your moment.”

Mitch leaned back, letting Billy go and grinning at me. “Men don’t have moments.”

“You do,” I returned. “I’m witnessing one.”

“This isn’t a moment, honey, it’s a meeting of the minds,” Mitch contradicted me.

“It’s a moment, Mitch,” I contradicted him.

Mitch transferred his grin to Billy and asked, “Are we having a moment?”

Billy stared up at Mitch then he looked at me.

Then he answered, “Nope.”

Billy didn’t even know what a moment was. He was just agreeing with Mitch because Mitch was a guy and I was a girl who was crying.

I rolled my eyes, gave his hand another squeeze, let it go and then swiped at the wet on my face, muttering, “Whatever.”

When I quit swiping, I looked back at my boys to see them sharing a smile.

Witnessing that, it took some effort but only one more tear escaped rather than me bursting into thousands of them and I succeeded in this endeavor by doing what any girl would do to succeed in this endeavor. I sucked back more wine.

“Right. That’s done, bedtime,” Mitch decreed, lifting his legs off the coffee table so Billy could get through.

Billy jumped up and rounded the couch while Mitch and I watched him go.

He stopped halfway to the mouth of the hall and turned back to Mitch.

“Thanks for today, Mitch, it was fun.”

“We’ll do it again, Bud,” Mitch replied. “Now hit the sack. Yeah?”

Billy nodded. “Yeah. ’Night, Mitch,” he muttered, looked at me and called, “’Night, Auntie Mara.”

“Goodnight, honey,” I called back.

Billy resumed moving to his room. I looked at Mitch mostly because he’d leaned into me and shoved an arm between me and the couch. He was pulling me into him and I was concentrating on not spilling any wine as he executed this maneuver.

I succeeded and was settling into my man to relax with him, wine and candles when we heard, “Auntie Mara?”

Mitch and I both twisted our necks to look over the back of the couch. When we did, we saw Billy standing just outside the shadows at the mouth of the hall.

“Yeah, honey?” I called back.

Billy held my eyes.

Then he announced, “Billie looks like you.”

I didn’t know where he was going with this but I answered with the truth. “Yes, she does, Bud.”

“Do you think I look like Mitch?” Billy asked.

Oh God.

Oh God.

“Yes,” I answered softly.

“That woman at that restaurant, she said we had a beautiful family,” Billy reminded me and Mitch’s arm around me grew tight.

“She did,” I told him. “And we didn’t get it then but she was right.”

Billy kept hold of my eyes then his shifted to Mitch before they moved to the floor and he asked, “Mitch, you marry Auntie Mara, can Billie and me have your name?”

Oh God!

God, God, God!

“You want it then absolutely,” Mitch replied.

I started deep breathing.

Billy’s eyes came back to me.

Then, even though he whispered it, I heard him when he said, “You should know, I love you too, Auntie Mara.”

Then he disappeared in the shadows.

My breath hitched again and this time I didn’t succeed in holding back the thousands of tears. Luckily, I did succeed in not bursting into loud ones, just lots of silent ones.

Mitch divested me of my wineglass, I burrowed into him and when he’d put my glass by his beer on the coffee table, he pulled me into both of his arms.

It took some time but I pulled myself together.

Then I whispered into his neck, “I love you Detective Mitchell James Lawson.”

Mitch’s arms gave me a squeeze. “I know, baby. I love you too.”

“That was done well, honey.” I shifted to kiss his throat then tilted my head back to look at him to find he’d tipped his down to look at me. “Thank you.”

“Anytime and every time, sweetheart,” Mitch replied.

I liked that.

Anytime and every time, now and throughout our lives with our family.

Again, my soul sighed but my mouth smiled.

“Proud as hell of you, what you did earlier with your mother and aunt,” Mitch told me.

My smile got bigger and I informed him, “Just so you know, your kiss communicated that.”

Mitch smiled back at me. “Right.”

“Something else you should know,” I whispered. “I was able to do that because of you.”

“Mara –” he started but I shook my head and pressed deeper into him.

“No, it was in me to say it but it was you who opened my eyes to who I am. I’ve always been a decent person and even if you weren’t standing there, I’d do everything I could to make certain I kept those kids safe. But it felt good standing there with you. It felt good realizing that was who I am and who I always was. And it felt good to move beyond what I believed myself to be. And you guided me there. So…” I grinned and pressed even closer, “thank you.”

Mitch dipped his head and against my lips whispered, “You’re welcome, baby.”

Against his, my grin became a smile.

Mitch brushed his mouth against my smile, pulled back half an inch and noted, “I’m done with heavy. Time to zone out in front of a game.”

Zoning out on the couch with Mitch, wine, candles and baseball.

The perfect end to an (almost) perfect day.

“Right,” I whispered. Mitch grinned then in thirty seconds the TV was on, Mitch’s boots were off, he had me tucked between his reclined body and the couch, my wineglass in one hand, my cheek on his chest, his arm around my back, hand curved around my hip, his beer in his other hand.

I sipped wine and zoned out.

Mitch sipped beer and watched the game.

Yes.

The perfect end to an (almost) perfect day.

Me, Mitch, wine, beer, baseball and, sleeping in the next room, Billy and Billie.

Two days later…

I was dressed for work because I was going to work after.

Tight, light beige pencil skirt. Cute, light peach blouse. High-heeled, tan slingback pumps. My hair pulled back in a twisted bun at the nape of my neck.

Mitch liked the way I dressed for work; he told me he thought it was sexy though he didn’t like me selling mattresses to men dressed that way. Most nights, however, I had four mouths to feed. He kicked in feeding those mouths so he understood the need.

I was sitting at the little desk. Mitch, like last time, was standing behind me.

I was not nervous. I was not worried. I had no idea where the money would come from to pay for the meeting with the lawyer we had yesterday and the work he would do in the coming months. And I had no idea what reaction I was imminently going to get.

I also didn’t care.

I’d find the money and the man who was about to get bad news didn’t deserve my nerves or worry.

The buzzer sounded and I felt Mitch’s tension at my back as my head turned toward the door.

Mitch, unlike me, was concerned. But his concern was about me. I told him I was okay but he didn’t believe me.

He would see he had nothing to worry about.

I watched Bill in his orange jumpsuit and white t-shirt move through the door.

He looked thinner but he had better coloring and a decent haircut. Apparently, they had barbers in jail. Or, at least, they had them and they were probably free so Bill availed himself since he didn’t have to make the taxing decision on whether to use his money on a haircut or filth to inject in his system.

Bill’s face screwed up when he saw me but he came to the chair at the little desk beyond the glass opposite me. He sat, his eyes on me then they went to Mitch.

I grabbed the phone.

Bill’s eyes dropped to me.

He didn’t move.

I held the phone to my ear and waited.

He still didn’t move.

It was Mitch who lost patience, leaned in and rapped on the glass with his knuckles. Then he jerked two fingers toward the phone.

Bill scowled at him then snatched up the phone.

The instant he had it at his ear, I spoke.

“Don’t be nasty, hang up and walk away,” I said swiftly. “What I have to say is important and you need to hear it.”

“Not sure anything you have to say is important, Mara, not anymore,” Bill replied, his eyes filled with hate, his mouth and nose creased into a sneer.

“It’s about Billy and Billie so if you think that’s true that means what I’ve decided to do is definitely what needs to be done,” I returned then went on, “Though, I knew that anyway.”

Bill glared at me then his eyes flicked up to Mitch before coming back to me.

“Say what you gotta say so I can get you outta my face. I’d rather be in lockdown with a bunch of psycho slimeballs than sittin’ here with you so I think you get where I’m comin’ from when it comes to you,” Bill retorted.

“Oh,” I whispered, “I got that when you sent my Mom and your Mom after me. And if I didn’t get it then, I got it when you set them to finding Jez in order to use her to threaten me, Billy and Billie.”

Bill’s face didn’t change; he kept up the glare and the sneer. He felt no remorse, not even knowing how him doing that would affect me and not even thinking that it might also affect his children.

I kept talking.

“When Billy saw Jez, he remembered her and he freaked out, Bill.”

Bill just continued glaring at me.

“So bad, he was shaking.”

Bill uttered not a word.

“Just in case you care, Billie was asleep and didn’t see her.”

Nothing from Bill.

I sighed thinking I shouldn’t be surprised considering he was an assclown.

I got down to the matter at hand.

“Mitch and I met with an attorney yesterday and we hired him. We’re moving forward with getting permanent custody of the children.”

“And I care about this because…?” Bill asked and I blinked.

Then I asked back, “Pardon?”

“I got a lotta shit to worry about, Mara. I don’t need more. Because of you, I got a twenty-four, seven job of watchin’ my back. Don’t need to spend my time thinkin’ ‘bout whatever the fuck you’re up to. You’re all fired up to show your pig boyfriend you’re a good person by takin’ my kids, have at it. I end this gig breathin’ then I’ll worry about you.”

“And Billy and Billie,” I put in.

“What?” he clipped.

“You end this breathing, you’ll worry about me and Billy and Billie,” I stated.