A. Walters - Lead Me Not

Our bodies were slick with sweat, and normally I would have been grossed out at the way our skin stuck together, but strangely it didn’t bother me. My hand was definitely lying in a wet spot, but all I could think about was how good it felt to lie sprawled across him, the two of us still attached intimately.

Maxx ran his hand down my spine and smacked my ass. “Let me make breakfast. I’m starving!” I wished his energy was contagious, but I was feeling languid and lazy and not in the least bit hungry.

But I let him pull me out of bed and down the hallway while he flipped on all the lights in his tiny apartment.

“Sit. I’ll get everything together,” Maxx urged, buzzing around animatedly. He was so happy. And it was more than a little flattering to think I may have had something to do with the smile on his face.

We were both still naked, and I was starting to feel self-conscious. I wasn’t one to make a habit of hanging out in the buff. For me, nakedness was confined to showers and changing clothes. I started to pull one of the couch pillows over my chest when Maxx grabbed it and tossed it on the floor.

He dropped to his knees, his arms curling around my waist, his face tilted up as he looked at me. “Don’t ever cover yourself in front of me. I need to see you,” he murmured, pulling my legs apart. I was completely exposed. It made me uncomfortable, but it was also extremely erotic.

“All of you,” he finished, running his nose along the inside of my thigh, his breath warm on my center. I shuddered, too turned on to be embarrassed by my body’s blatant reaction to him.

He rocked back on his heels, his fingers still gripping the flesh above my knees, and he looked at me, all of me, as though I were the most beautiful thing in his universe. He was really good for the ego.

“Stay here, like this,” he commanded, getting to his feet.

I sat there on his couch awkwardly for a moment before going against his wishes and curling my legs up underneath me, though I didn’t cover up, against my every instinct to do so. I wasn’t sure I could make this a habit. It was too weird.

Maxx came back only a few minutes later with two plates. He handed me mine and sat down beside me, as close as he could get.

I looked down at the plate and laughed. Maxx grinned shyly. “I don’t have much in the way of groceries, sorry,” he muttered.

I picked up a string of licorice and popped it into my mouth before grabbing a handful of Doritos. Not the most nutritious breakfast but definitely one of the most interesting.

I worked through my selection of junk food, thinking to myself that this was perhaps the best meal I had ever eaten.

When I finished, I was full, mildly nauseous at the excessive amount of sugar and carbs first thing in the morning, but completely content.

Maxx picked up the remote control. “What do you like to watch?” he asked, flicking on the television. I looked at him blankly.

“We can watch Bob Ross paint some trees or . . .” He flicked through a few more channels before settling on a fashion design show I had seen a few times before. “What the hell is this shit?” he asked, frowning.

I snatched the remote and turned it up. “It’s obvious you need to get in touch with your inner diva, Maxx,” I teased, settling back into the couch.

We watched for a few minutes before Maxx couldn’t take any more. He turned to me and grabbed the remote, muting the show. He hauled me onto his lap. “Fuck TV, tell me about you,” he said, smoothing my long hair behind my shoulders.

“I love your hair. It’s so soft,” he said quietly, threading the strands through his fingers.

“She is beautiful without knowing it, and possesses charms that she’s not even aware of,” he murmured, his fingers pacifying me into a quiet comfort.

I looked at him under heavy lids. “Why the quotes?” I asked, leaning into his touch. “You do that a lot.”

Maxx smiled, a soft expression on his face. “Sometimes the words in my heart have already been written down by someone who can say it a hell of a lot better than I ever could.”

I ran my finger along his bottom lip; he opened his mouth and bit down lightly on the tip. “Well, the whole sensitive guy thing is pretty hot.” I grinned.

Maxx rolled his eyes and squeezed my hips, making me squirm.

“Stop changing the subject, I’m on a discovery mission here.” Maxx winked and went back to running his hands through my hair.

“Favorite food?” he asked.

“Fettuccine Alfredo and garlic bread,” I answered. Maxx nodded.

“Noted. What about favorite color?”

“Orange,” I replied.

Maxx raised an eyebrow. “Orange? Not something girlie like sparkly pink?”

I stuck out my tongue, making him laugh. “Nope. It’s impossible to be in a bad mood when you’re wearing orange,” I volleyed back.

Maxx tapped the side of his head. “Got it. Okay, favorite flower.”

“Why all the questions?” I asked, curious as to where he was going with all this.

“I want to know everything. Plus it’s good to know how I can butter you up later,” he joked, pulling on my hips so I was pressed hard against him.

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling.

“Well, I’m not really a flower kind of girl.” I leaned forward and touched my lips to his ear before saying, “But if you really want to get me hot and bothered, buy me some chocolate. I’ll do just about anything for chocolate.”

Maxx chuckled, but I could feel him getting harder against me. “Chocolate is the way to get in your pants. Good to know.”

I rubbed against him and kissed the skin below his earlobe. “If you couldn’t tell, I’m already out of my pants.”

Maxx cupped my ass and started rubbing me rhythmically against him. “Oh, I could tell,” he said, his voice cracking as he moved me faster.

And then we were done talking for a while.

* * *

Hours later, when we finally came up for air, Maxx urged me to take a shower and get dressed. “Take your time,” he said, giving me a kiss as I went into the bathroom.

I frowned. “Okay, I will,” I told him, confused.

Thirty minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom, dressed and feeling a bit more human. Maxx had gotten dressed as well and was standing in the living room, grinning from ear to ear.

I walked out to meet him and stopped. On the coffee table were several boxes of chocolates. He had gotten assortments of every type imaginable. Beside them in a vase was a bunch of orange lilies. He held a grocery bag in his hand.

“What’s all this?” I asked, ridiculously touched by his thoughtfulness. Who knew Maxx Demelo could be so romantic?

Maxx was downright giddy. “I’ve never done the whole boyfriend thing before, but I want to do this right, Aubrey.” He held out the grocery bag. I took it and looked inside.

“I’m going to make you fettuccine Alfredo for dinner. I’m not a cook, but I figure even I can follow a recipe.” He kissed me hard on the mouth, his eyes twinkling.

We spent the remainder of the morning wrapped up in each other while Maxx continued his version of Twenty Questions. When he’d get tired of quizzing me, he’d devour me. We couldn’t get enough of touching and tasting each other.

I had never been so physically and emotionally drawn to someone before. I had tried the monogamous dating thing in the past, and it had never ended well for me. Whenever I had gotten to a certain point in the relationship, I had instinctively retreated, unable to move forward.

But with Maxx it was different somehow. Maybe it was knowing that this was someone who needed a connection almost as badly as I did. Looking at Maxx was like seeing a darker, more troubled version of myself. He was closed off and isolated, just as I had been for the past three years. And by giving him tiny pieces of myself, I was hoping to make both of us less lonely.

I had moments when my better sense tried to take over, moments of wondering what it would really mean to open myself up to him. And then I thought about what waited for me when I left the safety of Maxx’s apartment. I felt paralyzed with uncertainty.

“What are you thinking about?” Maxx asked. In fact, I was thinking perhaps a little too hard about possible suspension, a ruined career, a derailed academic future, friends pissed at me for life.

I plastered a smile on my face. “Nothing,” I lied. Maxx frowned, obviously not sure whether to believe me or not. I leaned up on my knees and pressed a kiss on his mouth. He instantly molded his lips to mine.

Pulling away, I laced my fingers with his. “You’ve been hearing all about me. I’d like to know about you.” Maxx stiffened slightly but then gave me a blinding grin.

“What you see is what you get, Aubrey,” he said, yanking me forward. He grabbed the back of my neck rather aggressively and tilted my head to the side, his lips sucking and nipping along the column of my throat.

“I don’t believe that,” I argued, pulling back. I knew there had to be a whole mess of stuff going on with Maxx. A lot more than he had revealed so far.

“I promise you, there’s nothing to know that you don’t know already. I told you about my parents, about Landon and my uncle. That’s more than I’ve ever shared with anyone. Honestly, there’s nothing more to tell,” he said, kissing the tip of my nose.

I opened my mouth to press the point when his phone started ringing.

He checked the screen and scowled but answered it instantly. “Is everything okay, Landon?” he asked.

Maxx’s transformation as he spoke to his brother was fascinating. He literally became someone else. He was soft-spoken and calm, his voice warm.

His eyes flicked toward me. “I don’t think so, buddy. Not today.

“I’ve got plans.

“Yes, Landon, it’s a girl.

“Shut up, will you?”

I snickered. Even though I could hear only Maxx’s end of the conversation, it was obvious he was getting a ball busting from his younger brother. I didn’t know Landon, but already I liked him.

Maxx grimaced. “That’s probably not a good idea. I can come by during the week.”

I put my hand on his arm, interrupting him. He looked down at my fingers curling around his wrist and then up at me.

“I’ll come with you,” I offered, hoping he’d take me up on it.

Maxx pulled the phone away from his mouth. “I’m not sure that’s cool.” He frowned, clearly not happy with my suggestion.

I squeezed his arm. “Please. I’d like to see Landon again.”

Maxx closed his eyes, as though he was having some sort of internal battle. He opened them and looked at me for a long moment before putting the phone back to his mouth.

“Yeah, we’ll come by. We’ll be there in an hour. And David’s not there, right? Okay, see you then.”

Maxx hung up and got to his feet, holding his hand out. “Come on, let’s go see my baby brother,” he said, and I knew he was glad we were going to see him. And I couldn’t be more excited about having the chance to see the two of them together again, to see once more the side of Maxx that had drawn me in.

The Maxx that I hoped to see more of.

aubrey

we pulled up in front of Maxx’s uncle’s house a little after one in the afternoon. I wondered why Landon wasn’t in school and asked Maxx about it.

“It’s a teacher workshop day. He’s been on me to come by and help him with his car, but I’ve been busy,” Maxx answered, sounding defensive. Something told me being busy wasn’t why he hadn’t been by to see his brother, but I didn’t push it.

Maxx went around to my side of the car and opened the door for me. My heart fluttered at the gesture. I had never pictured Maxx as being the sort of man to open doors for women. I was happy to be wrong.

I went up on my tiptoes and pressed my mouth to his. The kiss was warm and comforting and over far too quickly.

Maxx pulled back slightly and gave me a tender smile. “What was that for?” he asked.

I kissed his chin, then loosened my hands from around his neck. “For surprising me,” I answered. Maxx’s smile became questioning, and he chuckled under his breath. He pulled me tighter into his embrace.

“Remind me to surprise you more often,” he murmured, and it was my turn to laugh.

“Get a room!” a voice called out. Maxx and I broke apart, and he grinned over his shoulder at the young boy who stood on the porch.

“Shut up, Landon,” he called back, rolling his eyes at his brother.