"Regina." Her name on Emma's lips was quiet plea, a whisper, a prayer, a promise.

And as Regina woke slowly from her sleep, an ache in her heart more intense than the throbbing in her core, not for the first time she cursed herself that she and Emma hadn't done more that night, or that week for that matter. Carnal desire wasn't what she craved whenever Regina wondered about what could occur between herself and Emma. On more than one occasion had she had a similar dream, but in the end, she just wanted to feel Emma pressed against her, know that she's there.

When Regina adopted Henry, she knew she would never again have another lonely Christmas with a little too much eggnog and way too much time on her hands to mull over the fact that another year was passing, and she was alone. This past Christmas held a hollowness to it where a certain blonde haired soldier no doubt would have filled the void, and Henry had felt it too.

The days leading up to Christmas kept the pair busy as they spent a full day putting up their Christmas tree. Regina had learned that although real trees smelled delightful, after their first year where eight-month old Henry tended to play a little too closely to the tree to see the sparkly lights and wound up getting poked and prodded by the sharp pine needles, or worse putting them in his mouth, that they needed a real Christmas tree simply wasn't practical. Putting together the artificial tree was much more pleasant to do as Henry had helped to pull apart the branches, though the ball of artificial snow had him rolling around in the cotton like a cat around string.

Then they had the annual Christmas party where Regina had suffered through numerous photo ops and Henry kept pilfering gingerbreads from the sweets table. Regina had even apologized to Tina Bell who was one of Santa's elves that year. The younger blonde smiled sincerely, and later that night Regina had overhead her speaking with Ruby that Christmas miracles do happen. Any other time Regina would have reprimanded her for such a statement, but the brunette just rolled her eyes affectionately and let it slide.

Within the blink of an eye, it was Christmas Eve, and Regina was chasing an overexcited Henry around the house, his reindeer house slippers sliding on the polished hardwood as he turned corners to avoid his mother before darting up the stairs and tucking himself into her bed where he cuddled under the covers with a pleased and innocent smirk on his face.

"Santa's coming tonight," Henry whispered excitedly when Regina finally appeared at her bedroom door slightly out of breath.

"Santa will only come if you go to sleep," Regina said gently as she sidled into bed, knowing that attempting to move Henry into his would be a futile decision. Besides, who knew how quickly he would tire of being Mommy's bestest friend, so she soaked it up when she could.

Henry grinned and promptly shut his eyes before curling an arm around his mother's neck. "Was I good, Mommy?"

Regina pressed a kiss to his forehead as her hand rubbed soothing circles on his back. "You're the best."


Henry hadn't felt like the best that Christmas Day, and it broke Regina's heart to find out why.

Like any toddler on Christmas morning, Henry woke at the crack of dawn and it took much persuasion on Regina's part to get him to sleep for at least another hour. He hadn't visited dreamland as his mother would have liked, but at least he was laying still and quiet, if not a bit fidgety, for the forty-five minutes, so Regina showed him some mercy and helped him down the stairs where he raced to the Christmas tree, finding the presents Santa had placed under there in the middle of the night.

He had been preoccupied for a while, opening presents and oblivious to the pictures Regina kept constantly snapping. Now and then he would pause to take a bite out of the cinnamon and raisin oatmeal Regina had prepared, but when the mess was cleaned up and under the tree was bare, Henry continued to search under, around, and in the tree for more.

"Henry, what are you looking for?" Regina asked, placing the clay-mold handprint Henry had made for her on the side table.

"Can't find it," he gruffed, dropping to his belly and looking under the couch.

"You can't find what, dear?"

"My present." He moved to the fireplace and peered upward to see if it had gotten stuck in the chimney.

"That's all Santa brought," Regina said confused. She was sure she had gotten everything on his list.

"No!" He stomped a foot and pouted before running back to the tree for another look.

"Henry," Regina warned disapprovingly when the tree wobbled in its stand. She walked to him and crouched to his level. His lip quivered and his eyes were already filling with tears. "It wouldn't be fair if you got all the presents, would it?"

"I was go-oo-oo-ood!" The final word came out in a loud cry as Henry collapsed into his mother's embrace.

Regina instinctively cradled him, carrying his sobbing form to the couch and sitting him on her knee. He pulled the collar of his pj top up to cover his eyes as he cried into the shirt.

"I know you where very good, but sometimes Santa can't give you everything you want."

"But–b–but–" he blubbered and wiped at his eyes with his forearms and collar before staring pleadingly at his mother. "But I wanted it!"

"What did you want?"

"Emma!" A fresh wave of tears struck his cheeks before he fell limp into Regina's neck.

The brunette woman paused when the word hit her ears, and all she could do was press her cheek to the top of Henry's head and rub his back. She could have tried to tell him that Uncle August was visiting soon, that Rex was now a married dino with Henry's new Mrs. Rexy, or that a small amount of snow fell during the night, but Regina knew none of those things could ever make up for Emma's absence that day.

"Me too, sweetie," Regina whispered into his hair. "Me too."


Henry had relatively settled down for the remainder of the day, but the usually energetic boy became shy when he came down from his room, clutching his backpack and producing two art crafts made of a paper plate cut into a triangle with a circle at its tip for the head, baby blue wings glued to the back, and a clothes pin hot glue gunned to the base to be clipped to the tree. One had brown string glued for its hair while the other had long, yellow strands, and both had gold pipe cleaner halos glued to the top of the head. It didn't take a genius for Regina to deduce who they represented and who they were for, but the brunette smiled happily, if not a little watery, promising Henry they'd show Emma when she returned.

The family had spent the rest of the day playing with Henry's new toys and marathoning the House of Mouse before having a feast for dinner that was far more than two people could handle. Regina had indulged in two bowls of rocky road ice cream and constantly played with her necklace, well Emma's. She couldn't help but think this was break-up behaviour and refused to have such juvenile thoughts until she took another hefty bite of ice cream and distracted herself by helping Henry show Mrs. Rexy around the house.

Even now, two days later, Regina woke still feeling like the holidays weren't quite right. She had sent Emma a Christmas gift weeks prior despite their dispute, and the wait never ceased to drive Regina mad. Pulling herself out of bed, she mused over the chores she had to get done today for August's arrival the day after next. She stopped by Henry's room, content to find her son snuggled into bed with Mrs. Rexy and Junior under each arm. The covers were kicked off and one leg was hanging off the bed––all signs of a good sleep. Deciding not to wake him, Regina showered and dressed for the day, donning leggings and a long sweater.

It took her an hour to tidy up the kitchen and the living room, and by that time, Henry had sleepily stumbled into the kitchen where she was cleaning out the fridge. He hugged her back from behind and nestled into the crook of her shoulder blades, his breathing already evening as if he were ready to fall asleep all over again.

"Good morning, my little prince." She reached an arm around her to steady Henry before turning on the spot and pulling him into her arms. "Did you sleep well?"

He held up Mrs. Rexy frowning. "She had a nightmare."

"Oh?" Regina mimicked her son's expression. "About what?"

"She misses Rex."

Regina tsked softly and gave Mrs. Rexy a kiss to the head. "I'm sure Rex misses her too. Did you give her lots of hugs?"

He nodded dutifully.

"As long as she's with you and Rexy Jr., she'll be okay."

Henry nodded again in agreement before giving a wet kiss to his mother's cheek. Regina smiled softly, watching him gallop off to the washroom where he'd no doubt try to brush his dinosaur's teeth, but there were worse things his toys had suffered and had lived to tell the tale.

She went to follow him to make sure another toilet incident wouldn't occur when the ringing phone distracted her from her path. Passing the washroom to see Henry, in fact, using a thankfully dry tooth brush on Mrs. Rexy, Regina entered her office and picked up the cordless phone.

She gasped and her stomach dropped when the voice she had waited weeks to hear sounded through the receiver.

"Hi."

Chapter 14

Chapter Notes

Disclaimer in Chapter One

AN: It's safe to say that I'm getting more and more terrible at answering my emails and responding to your reviews, but I just want to say that I am so thankful for you guys! Thank you for reading, reviewing, and subscribing! The odd times I'm on tumblr I'm seeing fantastic art work and edits, and it really leaves me speechless. I'm really glad you're enjoying it, and yes, yes I am evil. In case anyone was wondering, I did not win the scavenger hunt.

Overdue, but shoutout to Zeighert who has been helpful with military stuff and even recommended a great series. If you've got the time check out Over There for a good show about military life both at home and at the front.

Warning: Violence

"Hi."

Regina's voice caught in her throat at the sound of Emma's almost shy, sheepish tone, but through some miracle, or through sheer determination and will power, Regina forced her vocal chords into action.

"I'm sorry."

Her words came out in one fell swoop like a gush of wind forced out of her lungs. So desperate to speak to the blonde, to say so many things, the thoughts simply scrambled inside her brain like pasta in a stirring spot and left her flustered and stammering. "I–I'm so sorry, Em."

"I know," Emma replied softly. "All your letters and packages since then have said as much. They sort of let my mail pile up and gave it to me for the holidays."

The brunette gave a nervous chuckle, still unsure where they stood. "I can't tell if that's cruel or genius."

"It's necessary," the soldier filled in. "I only just got back late last night."

Regina stopped herself from hurling questions at Emma, wrapping an arm around her midsection to physically restrain herself from bombarding the soldier. "Are you okay?" And though she tried to hide it, even she could hear the strain in her own voice.

"I am now." Regina grinned and exhaled, releasing her arm and leaning more firmly against her desk. When she opened her mouth to speak again, Emma beat her to the punch. "I'm sorry too."

Regina squinted and shook her head. "What for?"

"I shouldn't have hung up."

"I thought the line cut out," the brunette admitted.

Emma chuckled guiltily. "Can we go with that instead?"

"There's no need to make excuses for me, Emma. I realize I was being difficult." With a thoughtful tilt of her head, Regina added. "I would have done the same."

Emma laughed again, this time more amused and content before a comfortable silence passed between them. "Merry Christmas," the blonde whispered as if it were the state's biggest secret, and she was risking life and limb to reveal it to Regina.

"Merry Christmas, Emma." Regina walked over to the leather couch in her office, musing over the fact that over half a year ago, Emma had been sitting on this very couch, stumbling through Storybrooke and unintentionally further lodging herself into Regina and Henry's lives. "You said you got in last night?"

"Yeah," the blonde confirmed, waiting for the buzz of static to die down before continuing. "It wasn't really a white Christmas for our squad."