Maya Banks - Letting Go

She smiled. “No matter how hard you leaned on me, if I didn’t want to do this with you, I wouldn’t have agreed. Carson taught me a lot about independence and standing on my own two feet. I’ll always be grateful to him for that. He taught me that I could be the person I am and I should never be willing to change who I am to please someone else. He was right. And it’s something I’ve tried to do and be in my everyday life.”

His features tightened again, his eyes going blank. Did he resent her talking about Carson? Was he defensive about the fact she’d been happily married to another man?

She understood, she supposed. It couldn’t be all that wonderful to have her previous lovers, never mind there had been only one, thrown in his face at every turn.

From now on she was going to be more careful about discussing Carson with him. But it was only natural and it would take her time to adjust to the sudden change in their relationship. He’d gone from friend and confidant to her lover in a matter of days. Before, she had no compunction about discussing her relationship with Carson, or even just Carson himself, with a man he’d called best friend. It was nice to be able to talk about Carson with someone who knew him almost as well she knew him. It enabled her to keep his memory alive and talk about the good times they’d always shared together.

“What are we going to do today?” she asked impulsively. “Have you called Tate, Chessy and Kylie to see if they can make dinner tonight? If so I’ll need to run into the store and pick up things for the meal I’m planning. City Market has steaks that are simply divine. I thought we could grill steaks and I’ll make all the fixings. Baked potatoes, salads, homemade rolls and a really yummy dessert.”

He lowered his mouth to her, kissing her with tenderness and care that he hadn’t demonstrated this morning until now.

“I think that sounds wonderful. Let me go make the phone call to Tate. Do you want to call Kylie or would you prefer me to call her and issue the invitation?”

“I’ll call her,” Joss said quietly. “But I’ll wait and let you explain when she arrives. I planned to tell her to get here at least thirty minutes from the others so you’d have time to discuss Jensen with her.”

“Sounds like a plan. You make your calls. I’ll make mine. Then I’ll run you to the grocery store to get everything we need.”

“I’ll need you to take care of the wine,” she said ruefully. “Carson despaired of me ever getting it right.”

She nearly bit her tongue in frustration. Just moments before she’d sworn that she’d stop bringing up Carson and inserting a wedge between her and Dash. No man would want to be constantly competing with another man, especially a dead man.

Joss waited for the expected surge of pain that always accompanied her speaking of Carson. But it wasn’t there this time. There was lingering sadness that she dealt with from time to time but mostly it had subsided. For the first time, she could see the grass on the other side of the fence, and it looked appealing from where she stood.

THOUGH hosting a dinner party was nothing new for Joss, she had a raging case of nerves because this was her first dinner acting as Dash’s host. And the attendees were all friends. There was no reason for her to be nervous, but she was. Because though her friends knew of her relationship with Dash, she hadn’t openly flaunted it in front of them.

She put the finishing touches on the salad and stuck the bowl in the fridge before popping the potatoes in the oven. The steaks were marinating, and Dash would throw them on the grill closer to the time to eat.

First, they would talk to Kylie, and Dash would tell her that Jensen was partnering with Dash. Joss dreaded the confrontation but knew it was better had here in private, in a place Kylie felt comfortable in, rather than Dash telling her in the office and springing it on her in a place where she couldn’t react honestly.

The doorbell rang and she hurried out of the kitchen, calling to Dash that she’d get it. She wanted to be the first to greet Kylie.

When she opened the door, Kylie smiled at her and Joss pulled her into a hug.

“I’d ask how you’re doing but your look says it all,” Kylie said wryly. “You look . . . happy, Joss. I’m glad.”

Joss impulsively squeezed her again. “Thanks. How are you doing? I know it’s only been a couple of days, but I feel like I haven’t seen or spoken to you in forever!”

“That’s because you wimped out on me and Chessy and e-mailed us,” Kylie said in a dry tone.

Joss laughed. “Yes, I did. I figured it would be easier to just e-mail you both and get it out. It would certainly take less time than a phone call because you both would grill me mercilessly.”

A grin tugged at the corners of Kylie’s mouth as they entered Dash’s living room. Kylie glanced around and when she saw no one she turned to Joss, lowering her voice.

“Is he good to you, Joss? You look happy but are you really?”

Joss smiled, letting her happiness show on her face as she looked at her friend. “He’s very good to me, Kylie. Things are better than I imagined they could be. I really am happy.”

Kylie reached out and squeezed her hand. “Then I’m happy for you. I know I didn’t seem that way in the beginning, and I’m sorry for that. I was just worried about you. I do want you to be happy, Joss. I hope you know that.”

“I do. I love you. Don’t ever forget that.”

Dash entered the living room and walked over to kiss Kylie’s cheek. “Glad you could make it, Kylie. Would you care for a drink? I have something I need to discuss with you before the others arrive.”

Kylie sent him an inquisitive look. “Wine will be fine. You choose. I’ll like whatever you offer.”

Dash poured glasses for both women and returned, holding them out to the two women.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” Kylie asked curiously.

Dash sighed and briefly looked discomfited. But Joss knew he wasn’t the type to dance around an issue. He’d come out and say it and then deal with the blowback, whatever it was.

“A new partner is joining our business,” Dash said as bluntly as Joss knew he would be.

Kylie’s eyes widened and her lips parted but she didn’t respond. She simply stared at Dash, seemingly frozen by his statement.

“His name is Jensen Tucker,” Dash continued. “Carson and I had considered taking him on a few years ago. When Carson died, I put those plans on hold and focused on keeping the business afloat. But it’s time. He’s a solid addition and he’ll be an asset to the company.”

“You’re just replacing him?” Kylie said hoarsely. “Why? You’re doing a fine job, Dash. Why do you need this guy? What could he possibly have to offer?”

Her voice rose, her tone growing more emotional at the end.

Joss went to Dash and laced her fingers through his, squeezing to signal her support. He squeezed back, shooting her a grateful look.

“You’re okay with this?” Kylie asked Joss accusingly.

Joss’s face flushed and for a moment she was at a loss for words. No, she hadn’t expected Kylie to take it well at first, but she hadn’t expected the outright accusation in her tone. That she would direct her anger at Joss. This wasn’t her company or her choice. Yes, she owned a part of the business, but she had no power and no say in the decision making. That was all Dash’s and now Jensen’s. She and Kylie both benefited from the profits. Carson had made certain of that. But neither woman had a say in the running of the business. Carson had trusted that to Dash, and Joss agreed with that choice.

“I can’t believe you would support his decision in this,” Kylie said in a hoarse voice. “Have you forgotten Carson already? Are you so wrapped up in a new relationship that you’d turn your back on what your husband built?”

“That’s enough,” Dash bit out, his jaw tight with anger. “You will not direct your ire at Joss. If you have something to say then you damn well say it to me. You will not make her feel badly over this. It wasn’t her decision, but yes, she supports it and me. Deal with it. You can make this as easy or as difficult as you want, Kylie. That’s your choice. Jensen is coming over tonight and you’ll meet him then. I expect you to be professional and cordial.”

Warmth spread through Joss’s chest at Dash’s instant defense of her. He was angry and it took a lot to make him so. But he was positively seething over Kylie’s outburst and he’d wrapped his arm protectively around Joss, silently and not so silently giving her his absolute support. Just as she’d done for him.

“And if I’m not?” Kylie challenged. “Are you going to fire me if I don’t like this person you’ve brought in to replace Carson?”

“If it comes to that, yes,” Dash said in a low voice. “I hope it wouldn’t come to that, Kylie. You are very good at what you do. This company needs you. I need you. I would hate to ever have to replace you, but if you make trouble for Jensen, you can and will be replaced.”

Kylie paled, her eyes going stark with pain. Her gaze flitted over Joss with the same accusation she’d voiced just moments before. Joss flinched at the look, knowing Kylie saw this as the ultimate betrayal. Not just by Dash but by Joss herself. She’d expected Joss to side with her. To protest Carson’s replacement.

It was evident in her every expression, her body language, that she was furious, not only with Dash but with Joss, and perhaps more so with Joss.

“You invite me over, dump this on me like this and then expect me to play nice with a man who is replacing my brother,” she said painfully. “How did you expect me to react?”

“We invited you over because I would rather tell you in private and give you time to collect yourself before he arrives. The alternative was telling you in the office on Monday, and I thought we meant more to one another than for me to tell you in a business setting. Perhaps I was wrong about that.”

Dash’s voice was cold, anger radiating from him in waves. Kylie had pushed him too far and her attack on Joss had infuriated him all the more. Joss squeezed his hand again, a silent signal that it was all right.

“It’s okay, Dash,” Joss said softly, voicing her thoughts so he would know without question. “I understand why she’s upset. She doesn’t mean it.”

“It’s not okay,” Dash bit out. “She has no right to treat you this way and I won’t allow it in our home.”

“Our home?” Kylie asked incredulously. “Have things progressed so far then, Joss? Have you already moved on and forgotten the man you were married to for three years? What exactly is going on here? Are we all supposed to just forget that Carson existed? Maybe you can, but I can’t. He was my only family and he’s not so easily replaced. Not for me.”

“If you don’t apologize to Joss right this minute, I’ll ask you to leave, and furthermore, you will come into the office on Monday only to clear out your desk and tender your resignation,” Dash said in a frigid tone. “What is between me and Joss is none of your business. She doesn’t require your approval or blessing, though she’d like to have both. She loves you and she’d cut off her arm before ever purposely hurting you. But you’re hurting her and that’s bullshit. I won’t have it and I damn sure won’t allow you to come into our home. Yes, our home, Kylie. Joss is with me, and you have two choices. Accept it and be happy for her or get out. Which is it going to be?”

Joss felt the color bleed from her own face, a match to Kylie’s. She shook uncontrollably and it seemed to anger Dash all the more. His hold tightened around her to the point that she could barely breathe. No, she hadn’t expected Kylie to take it well, but neither had she expected Kylie to lash out at her like this.

Was it what Chessy thought too? That she had so easily forgotten Carson and moved on at the first opportunity? Were neither of her friends truly happy for her? Would she lose their friendship because she wanted to be happy again? Why was being happy asking too much? Why couldn’t Kylie accept that all Joss wanted was to not be so lonely any longer?

Tears burned her eyelids and Dash saw. His entire body tensed and fury fired through his eyes.

“You’ve upset Joss and that I won’t accept,” Dash said tightly. “Apologize or leave, and make it quick. I will not stand by and allow her to be abused in her own home.”

Kylie looked shocked and pained at Dash’s words. The word abuse struck a chord in Kylie and it obviously horrified her that she would be accused of abusing another person.