Maya Banks - Letting Go

She sent him a quick text letting him know what she was doing and that she was cooking a special dinner for him, adding a smiley face and a heart at the end of the text.

She cringed, wondering if he’d find the emoticons annoying. Carson had found them endearing and cute. They were “so her,” as Carson had put it. She sighed, catching herself in mental comparison yet again. She had to quit it. Carson was gone, as she reminded herself on a daily basis now. The endless thinking back to what he liked and didn’t like was getting old. And it would most certainly get old with Dash. Thank God she hadn’t voiced her thoughts aloud to him and only went through them mentally.

Her phone went off and she smiled at Dash’s response. And to think she’d worried that he’d find her text annoying.

Thanks, honey. Looking forward to it. xoxo

It had been a long time since she’d cooked for someone else. Oh, she’d fixed lunch and dinner a few times for the girls, but she hadn’t prepared an intimate meal for a lover since . . . No, she wasn’t going there, damn it.

She enjoyed her trip to the grocery store and realized halfway through that she should have stopped by her house first because she’d have perishable items waiting in her car and the temps were well into the upper eighties today.

Oh well, she’d just have to make her stopover at her house quick.

She cranked up the radio on the way to her house, singing along as she rolled up in her driveway. With a smile, she hopped out and hurried inside to collect the things she needed.

Five minutes later she shoved an extra suitcase into the minuscule backseat—if it even classified as a real backseat since a person certainly couldn’t fit—because her tiny trunk was filled to bursting with the groceries she’d purchased, and she headed back in the direction of Dash’s house. Her home now.

It would take time for her to consider it hers. She still very much considered it Dash’s house. But if things worked out long term . . .

She stopped, realizing this was the first time she was thinking long term. She’d been hesitant to put her hopes into it becoming more. Permanent. But things were off to a very solid start if she didn’t count his morning moodiness. But she could deal with that. She could be cheerful enough for them both.

It took her five trips into the house to get all the bags out of her trunk and one last one to collect her bulging suitcase. Dash would laugh at all the stuff she considered essential.

After putting away all the groceries, she laid out the ingredients for tonight’s dinner and wondered if she should start it now or wait until he got home.

Her forehead wrinkled as she pondered her options. Dash had been clear on how he wanted her to be waiting when he got home each day, but she hadn’t heard from him on when he would arrive. She glanced at her watch. It was only four thirty. A typical day was five o’clock, and he’d said he might be later today.

She’d decided to go ahead and get a start on supper when her phone rang. Glancing at the screen, she saw Dash’s name and smiled, reaching eagerly for the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, honey. I’m on my way home.”

A light shiver worked over her shoulders. “I’ll be waiting,” she said huskily.

“I’m looking forward to it,” he said in a low voice that matched hers.

“See you soon.”

“Bye, honey.”

She punched the button to end the call and then hurriedly put away the stuff for supper. It wouldn’t take much time to prepare at all and she could do it after he got home. For now she wanted to focus on being exactly as he wanted her. On her knees, naked, waiting in the living room so she was the first thing he saw when he walked through the door.

DASH pulled into his driveway and saw Joss’s car parked there in the space next to his. He sat for a moment, hands clenched tight around the steering wheel. He had no idea what to expect when he walked into his house. He’d been a jerk this morning. He knew that. But he hadn’t been able to summon his usual tenderness when his mind was eaten alive by Joss crying over Carson after making love to Dash.

He hadn’t slept, and the result had been him acting like a grumpy bear with a sore paw.

With a sigh he kicked open his car door and got out, determined to see this through.

He opened his front door and walked inside, moving automatically to the living room.

The sight that awaited him took his breath away. Joss was kneeling on the rug in front of the fireplace, naked, her beautiful hair streaming over her shoulders, her nipples playing an erotic game of peekaboo through the tendrils.

He was being the worst sort of ass and yet she waited, just as she’d agreed, naked and kneeling. For him.

She was making the effort. No matter what was going on in her head, she was trying. She was trying to make this work between them. How could he do anything less?

Forgotten was the previous night as he absorbed the image of her, transfixed by the sight of her kneeling in submission.

“Ah honey,” he whispered as he crossed the room to her.

All thoughts of dominance fled. He only wanted to hold her, to apologize for the way he’d treated her this morning. He wanted her in his arms, soft and precious. He looped his hands underneath her armpits and lifted, her startled gaze fixed on his face as he hauled her up and into his arms.

He wrapped himself around her, kissing her until they were both breathless, their chests heaving for air. He delved his hands into her hair, wrapping the silken mass around his fingers only wanting to touch her. To surround himself with her.

Again, he kissed her, devouring her lips, tasting and licking. His body surged to life, hard and aching against her belly. He had to have her now. Right now.

He walked her back to the couch and settled her on the cushions before hurriedly freeing himself from his pants. His dick jutted forward, straining, so hard his balls hurt.

When she leaned forward to take him in her mouth, he took a step back and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“No, honey. You aren’t pleasuring me right now. I was an ass this morning and I have a lot to make up for. Let me pleasure you. Let me make you feel good.”

Her eyes warmed, instant forgiveness in her gaze. But that was Joss. Never one to hold a grudge. He felt infinitely unworthy of her in this moment. Unconditional and unwavering. This was the woman he loved and adored, and he was doing his best to fuck up everything before they even had a shot.

He stood back and stripped his clothing off, barely able to control his urge to take her hard and deep. But he’d promised her the ultimate pleasure and he’d do it even if the waiting killed him.

“Spread your legs and lean back against the back of the couch,” he said in a husky voice.

Desire made her eyelids heavy and she looked up at him with drugged, intoxicated eyes. He knelt in front of her, running his fingers lightly down the insides of her thighs.

Her pussy was open and bared to him, perfect pink folds, delicate and feminine just like her. He traced a line over the hood, brushing her clit and continuing down to circle her opening before pushing in the barest of inches.

She moaned softly and went wet around his finger. So responsive and receptive. Her body clutched at his finger as he withdrew as if it didn’t want to let go. Then he lowered his head, his tongue lapping at her sweet moisture.

“Dash!”

His name came out, explosive in the silence. His name. Not Carson’s. That fact gratified him immensely. Her husband may occupy her dreams, but Dash had her in the present. For now he’d take that and hold on for all he was worth. Sooner or later he’d have her dreams as well as her in the waking.

He nibbled lightly and then sucked, rolling his tongue over her clit, exerting just enough pressure to make her wild beneath him. Her fingers thrust into his short-cut hair and then dug into his scalp, encouraging him, holding him in place.

She was in control, and he found he didn’t mind at all. For this moment, she was calling the shots and he’d allow it. Whatever she wanted. He was hers to command.

A soft hum blew from her lips. Satisfaction and desire all rolled into one. She arched upward, moving him to the places that brought her greater pleasure. He was an apt student, taking in her body’s response when he hit a particularly sweet spot.

He was a quick study and soon she didn’t have to direct him. He learned her body, absorbing the knowledge of what made her crazy with want.

He placed an openmouthed kiss to her pussy entrance and then thrust his tongue as deep as he could get into her liquid warmth.

He wanted her to come in his mouth, an instant hot rush of release. He maneuvered his fingers, two of them below his mouth, and plunged them inside, caressing the silken walls of her vagina.

He probed gently, seeking the spot where the texture was more plush and different, slightly rougher. He pressed upward, eliciting an instant cry from her. She grew wetter and panted, the sounds an aphrodisiac to his ears.

His cock was flat against his belly, so hard and pulsing that he was nearly out of his mind with the need to claim her. But he’d deny himself that ultimate satisfaction. For her. This was all about her. Only for her. His silent apology for being a bastard and taking out his black mood on her.

He didn’t like feeling jealous. Especially of a dead man. A man who’d been his best friend. But there it was. He was insanely jealous of Carson’s hold on her even from the grave.

“Are you close, honey?”

“Yes! Please don’t stop, Dash. I need you.”

The heartfelt plea seized his very soul, warming him from the inside out. Liquid sunshine. He basked in her radiance, her pleasure and need.

He thrust with his fingers, exerting firmer pressure on her pleasure spot as his tongue circled her clit and sucked gently. She quivered uncontrollably underneath him, her thighs shaking, her knees knocking against his sides.

“Give it to me,” he rasped. “Give it to me now, Joss. Everything. Let go.”

She arched upward, her cry endless and pained. He quickly covered the mouth of her pussy with his own and sucked hard as she pulsed and vibrated in her orgasm. Her honey coated his tongue, spurring his need even higher.

His thumb moved up to her clit to replace his tongue and he rubbed gently, coaxing wave after wave of release from her.

Finally she sagged onto the couch, her body going limp. He glanced up to see her half-lidded eyes lazily surveying him, glowing with contentment. She reminded him of a satisfied cat and she was all but purring.

When he would have stood to replace his clothing, she quickly sat forward, her hands going to his hips to stop him. Then without a word, she grasped his cock and guided it toward her mouth, slipping the head between her lips.

“Don’t deny me the same chance to pleasure you,” she said, her voice laced with the husky remnants of her orgasm. She sounded hoarse and needy, as though she still had a ways to go to complete her pleasure.

“Just stand there, Dash. Let me love you.”

He closed his eyes, a wave of contentment rolling over him with the power to bring him to his knees. God yes, he’d allow her to love him. It was everything he’d ever wanted.

His hands tangled in her hair, lifting it and pulling it away so he could see her face, could see her lips wrapped around his dick. She sucked him deep, holding him at the back of her throat and then swallowing around it, milking him.

“I won’t last long, honey.”

Her lips curved into a smile around his cock.

“I know.”

And then she began to pump her fist around his dick, sucking him hard and deep. It was a pace destined to drive him over the edge within seconds. And it did. Before she’d sucked him deep the fourth time, he was already coming, jetting and pulsing deep into her throat.

She swallowed greedily, sucking, demanding more. Not a single drop spilled from her lips. Her fingers gently lowered to his balls, caressing and rolling them in her palm. He was up on tiptoe, straining forward, his body so tight that he felt he was coming apart at the seams.

The last of his semen erupted and still she sucked and licked gently, bringing him down until he was simply too sensitive to bear her tender ministrations any longer.

He caught her hand, forcing her to still her motions, and then he carefully withdrew from her mouth, her tongue running along the back of the length as he pulled away.