He called her two hours later, and came by at eight o'clock that night after the children were asleep. They were so hungry for each other that they didn't waste any words. They closed her bedroom door and nearly devoured each other. They were like starving people, and they had been for far too long. It had taken them forever to get here, but they were safe at last. Or they hoped they were. It was impossible to know. But at least they had to try. There were no guarantees, there were only dreams, and as they fell asleep in each other's arms that night, they each knew they were where they wanted to be, and always had.

Joe played with Reed the next morning, while she fed the baby, and then they decorated the tree. He spent Christmas with them, and two days later, he and Kate went to City Hall. They went alone, hand in hand, with no friends and no witnesses, and no false hopes. And they called her parents when they got home. The suddenness of it came as a shock to them, but it was not a total surprise. Her mother reminded her father that she had finally lost a bet to him, over Joe marrying Kate. She had been convinced he never would.

“I never thought I'd see this day,” Liz said in amazement as they hung up the phone. And neither did Kate and Joe. It had taken so long, on an endlessly curvy road.

“Happy?” Joe asked her, as she cuddled up next to him in bed that night.

“Totally,” she said, with a broad smile. She was Mrs. Joe Allbright at last.

He lay looking at her for a long time that night after she fell asleep. Everything about her had always fascinated him, and now she was finally his. He didn't see how it could go wrong. It seemed like the perfect combination to him. He had always been her passion, and she was his dream. Her happy ending had come. And theirs.





19

THE FIRST DAYS OF Joe and Kate's marriage were blissful and exactly what they'd each expected them to be. They were happy and busy. She had hired a nurse to help take care of the kids, so she could have plenty of free time with him. She visited him at the office, gave him advice on some of his projects. She flew with him on weekends, and when he came home at night, he played with the kids. She went to California with him in January, and was enormously impressed by his entire operation there. She even went to Nevada with him, and watched him do his test flights, and afterward, he took her up for a spin. She loved all the wild and crazy things he did. And best of all, he was hers.

“It's a good thing I didn't marry Mary,” he said with a grin after a particularly dicey flight over the desert. He had dazzled Kate with a series of loops and stalls. She had always loved doing that with him. She said it was better than a roller coaster, and nothing he did, no matter how scary, ever made her airsick. She loved flying with him, no matter what he did, although she didn't fly herself anymore. It had been too long.

“She probably cooks better than I do,” Kate said cheerfully as she got out of the cockpit with him, and he had mentioned his ex-fiancé.

“That's for sure. She'd have thrown up all over me after that flight.” She had flatly refused to go up in a plane with him, and didn't even like hearing about what he did. He had known even then that getting engaged to her had been foolish, but he'd been bored and lonely when Kate stayed with Andy, and he wanted to prove to himself that he could have a life with someone else. But the only woman he'd ever really loved was Kate.

In his opinion, Kate had saved him from a fate worse than death, if he'd ever gone through with it, which he'd begun to doubt anyway. Kate was perfect for him, in every way. She loved flying, loved him, loved his planes. And she put something in his life that, without her, was never there. She was full of mischief and childlike spirit and fun. She trusted him and loved him. She was serious when he wanted her to be, and smarter than any woman he'd ever known, and most men. She loved him more than life itself, and he loved her. They had it all. And they made a couple so striking and so handsome that wherever they went, people stopped to stare. Everyone knew who he was, and his quiet, powerful style was the perfect counterpoint to her wit, charm, and poise.

She and her children moved into his apartment a month after they got married, and she brought her dog. There was enough room for all of them, and even the nurse for the kids. And little by little, she added pretty things to his apartment and feminine touches, which made it more livable for all of them. They were even talking about buying a house.

They talked about a lot of things. Nothing was sacred now to either of them. He had even brought up her “attempted suicide” one day. It had haunted him ever since Andy had told him about it two years before. And Joe told her how sorry he was. Kate had looked blank as she listened to him.

“What are you talking about?” She looked mystified by what he had just said.

“It's all right, Kate. I know,” Joe said quietly. But he didn't tell her how. He had never told her that Andy had come to see him that day. He didn't think she needed to know.

“You know what?” Kate asked, still sounding confused, and Joe thought she was being coy.

“That you tried to kill yourself, after we broke up years ago.” He had nearly forgiven himself for it, but not quite. He was still trying to make it up to her. He had felt guilty about it for the past two years.

“Are you nuts? I was out of my mind over you, but I wasn't totally insane. What on earth made you think I tried to kill myself?” The way she looked at him suddenly made him pause.

“Are you telling me you never tried to commit suicide, Kate?” She wasn't sure if he was angry or relieved, and neither was he.

“That's exactly what I'm telling you. That's the most disgusting thing I ever heard. How could you even think I would do something like that? I love you, Joe. But I've never been out of my mind. That's a terrible thing to do,” as she knew only too well. But there was a thunderous look on Joe's face as he looked pointedly at her.

“Did you ever see a psychiatrist?”

“No,” she looked startled. “Do you think I should?”

“That sonofabitch!” he said, exploding out of the chair where he'd been sitting, and suddenly pacing around the room in what looked to Kate like a rage.

“What are you talking about?” He was making no sense to her, but it all made perfect sense to him now.

“I'm talking about that rotten little bastard you were married to. I don't even know how to tell you what he did, or what a fool I was.” He felt even guiltier now for believing him. But he understood perfectly what Andy had done, and why. He had played right into every one of Joe's old fears. And Joe felt sick thinking about how he had taken the bait and the line. It had cost them both another two years of wasted time.

“Are you saying that Andy told you I tried to kill myself?” She stared at Joe in disbelief. “And you believed him?” She looked amazed as well as hurt.

“I think we were all a little crazy then. It was right after you told him you wanted a divorce, and he was refusing to let you go. You came to the office to tell me he wouldn't agree to the divorce, and the next day, he showed up. And I hate to admit it to you, but he played me like a harp. He told me how desperate and insecure you were, and how unstable, that you'd tried to kill yourself when we broke up before, and he got me so panicked that I was afraid I'd drive you to it again if I ever did anything wrong or hurt you again. He told me you were seeing a psychiatrist several times a week, and I started to think that if you felt abandoned at any point, you might do it again. I wasn't willing to take the risk.” And he had also been terrified of everything Andy had described to him, including her terrors of being left, and wanting more kids.

“Why didn't you ask me?” Kate stared at him in utter astonishment at everything he'd just said.

“I didn't want to upset you more than you were, and push you over the edge. But I see what he did now, that bastard. He played me perfectly. He knew how guilty I'd feel thinking you had tried to kill yourself over me once before, and how panicked I'd be that you might do it again.” She could see it all now too, and it made her hate Andy more than she ever had before. He had used everything she'd ever said to him to manipulate Joe. It had been an incredibly cruel thing to do, although she knew Andy had been fighting for his life then, and trying to preserve their family. But it was Andy who had driven Joe away. It was something she knew she'd never forgive him for. He had nearly cost her her happiness with Joe. It was a miracle that they had found each other again. “He made it sound so real, all of it. I was too upset myself at that point to question it, or be suspicious of him. What he was describing was something I knew I couldn't take on. I felt guilty for months after that, just thinking about it.”

“How could he do a thing like that?” And then as she thought about it, she realized that there was more that he must have said, which might have given added credibility to the lies he told. It was the one thing she had never told Joe, and she wondered now if he knew. She sat very still as she looked up at him, and all she could see was the love in his eyes. “Did he tell you about my father too?” She hated talking about it, and never had before. But there was nothing she couldn't say to Joe. She knew she was safe with him.

“Clarke told me about that before I asked you to marry me in Cape Cod. He thought I should know,” Joe said gently as he took her hand in his own, and pulled her close to him. “I'm sorry, Kate. That must have been awful for you.”

“It was,” she said, with tears in her eyes. “I remember that day so perfectly…. I remember everything about it…. The funny thing is I don't remember much about him. I should, but I just don't. I was eight when he died, but he pulled away from everyone two years before that.” She looked sad as she spoke of it. It had been the greatest trauma in her life, other than losing Joe. “It must have been so awful for my mother too, but she never talks about him. Sometimes I wish she would. There's so little I know about him, except that Clarke says he was a nice man.”

“I'm sure he was.” He could see in her eyes how painful it still was for her. It was the root and core of all her fears, fears of loss and grief and abandonment. Unwittingly, her father had caused her so much pain. But she was happy and at peace with Joe. She had found a safe harbor at last.

“I'm glad you know,” she said quietly. It was the only secret she had ever kept from him.

And that night, when they went to bed, they talked about Andy's betrayal of them both again. It was horrifying to Kate, worse yet to think that Joe had believed what he'd said, and in using Joe's guilts and frailties so brilliantly, Andy had succeeded in driving him away. They both agreed that it had been despicable of him, but an ingenious plan. Kate hadn't thought him capable of anything so devious, and it told her a great deal about him. She wanted to take some time to think about it, but she knew she would confront him about it one day. In the end, even after having used every ruse he could, he had lost her anyway. In spite of that, in the end, she had found her way back to Joe, and she was grateful for the kindness of the fates every day.

During the spring, Joe started spending more time in California. He needed a bigger base for his airline out there. By summer, he was spending half the month in L.A., and he wanted her with him. She took both children and the sitter, and they lived at the Beverly Hills Hotel. She enjoyed it a lot at first, she went shopping, played with the kids, and hung out at the pool watching movie stars come and go. Joe was constantly at the office, and came back to the hotel after midnight most nights and left again at six the next day. He was trying to spread his operation into the Pacific, and he wanted to establish new routes where they had never been before. It was an enormous undertaking, establishing numerous bases overseas, and planning all the logistics for an airline emerging as one of the most important in the world.

By September he was spending a lot of time in Hong Kong and Japan. They both agreed it was too far for her to go, and she hated leaving the kids for weeks on end. And it didn't make sense for her to sit in a hotel and wait for him in L.A. So she spent her time waiting for him in New York. He called her every night, no matter where he was, and filled her in on what he was doing. And from what she could see, he was doing a million things at once. Running New York, reaching out in the Orient, designing planes, running an airline, and doing test flights himself whenever he could. Understandably, he was crazed, and even when he called Kate, he sounded tense. In spite of competent people in all the various arms of his organization, he acted like he was a one-man band. And he complained constantly that he didn't have enough time to fly his planes. Or see his wife.