Jill Shalvis - Long-Lost Mom

At the end of the game, which Sara’s team won, Jenna looked down from the stands-and her heart simply stopped.

Staring at her from the side of the court was Stone, holding a basketball in one hand and his daughter’s hand in the other.

As the crowd thinned around them, neither of them moved, held there by an invisible string of unspoken questions. Stone was obviously drawn to Jenna, although he could have no idea why-or that she was a nightmare from his past about to resurface. She cringed at that thought and felt more than saw Stone’s gaze narrow in a mixture of concern and curiosity.

Still, he held the connection, and Jenna wished she would see a flash of recognition in his eyes. She knew now she wouldn’t, not with ten years, plastic surgery and dubious maturity on her side. Well, nothing had ever come easily to her, and it seemed this wouldn’t, either.

If she wanted Stone to know the truth, she was going to have to tell him.

Her goal hadn’t changed; she still wanted to atone for the things she’d done, such as deserting her own daughter. But if she told Stone who she was now, she knew he would turn from her, his eyes icy and distant.

But as Cindy Beatty, a complete stranger to Stone and the town she knew would never welcome her back, she could do anything.

Stone continued to maintain eye contact. Jenna couldn’t have torn her gaze away to save her life, leaving her no doubt that their always instant sizzling attraction still lived. It had unnerved her then, just as it did now, for though they’d always been drawn to each other, even as kids, she had never understood what Stone saw in her.

Connected to him this way, by just his gaze, caused an awareness to unfurl from deep within her. And she knew by his slight frown, by the very power of what shimmered between them, that it was the same for him. Only he could have no idea that this…thing between them was not new, that it had been there since the very beginning.

He remained unsmiling, that wide, sexy mouth serious. She felt panic rise.

You’re not seventeen anymore, she told herself firmly, even as her feet shuffled, prepared to run, as was their lifelong habit. You’re twenty-seven and here to right your wrongs. Turn your life around. Do it!

Far below, Sara’s lips moved and Stone nodded in response, but he did not break eye contact with Jenna.

Jenna smiled feebly. It was all she could manage, but Stone’s intense stare didn’t waver. Neither did Sara’s.

Tell them, an inner voice urged. Just go down there and tell them who you are.

Of their own accord, her legs took her down the stands she’d climbed up an hour and a half earlier-when she’d been driven by a need to see her daughter and hadn’t known how else to go about it other than to watch her from afar. And when she’d read the banner listing the names of the all-city fifth-grade champs, she’d been surprised to find Sara Cameron listed. After seeing that, fire-breathing dragons couldn’t have kept Jenna from the games.

“Hello,” Stone said when she got within hearing distance. That warm lazy baritone made her shudder with memories. For years she’d dreamed about that deep silky voice of his, and hearing it now brought her vividly back in time. Shockingly another memory surfaced.

Stone, making love to her the way he spoke, as if he had all the time in the world.

Jenna blushed wildly. Where had that come from? There was more to Stone than the way he’d once touched her, far more. He’d have fits if he knew her thoughts, for he wasn’t smiling now, not the way he had when the game had ended favorably or when Sara had flung herself into his arms for a hug. Jenna had to clear her throat twice before she croaked out a hello in return.

“I saw you at the game the other day,” he said in that voice like dark honey. “You ran off before I could talk to you. It’s…Cindy, isn’t it?”

He remembered her name, or that horrible pretend name Jenna had given him at the beach. She wanted to laugh and, instead, nearly cried.

Tell him the truth.

“Yes,” she murmured, sealing her fate with yet another lie. “It’s Cindy.”

Chicken, Jenna told herself furiously, but she didn’t recant the lie. “And I didn’t mean to run off. I just…”

“It’s all right. I ran off on you first, at the beach,” Stone said, quietly apologetic, his voice velvety and calm. The arm he’d thrown around Sara squeezed as tension seemed to fill him. “And I’m-”

Before he could finish his apology, which was what she should be doing for the rest of her life, Jenna broke in. “No, no. Please.” She clenched her hands together to keep them from moving wildly about as they tended to do when she was nervous. And she was very nervous now. “I understand. I…I acted strangely.”

“Are you new to town?”

Jenna looked at Sara and managed a smile, though her throat tightened as she got her first close look at her child. God. Her child. She was so beautiful and the urge to touch her was so strong that Jenna had to close her hands into tight fists. Her short neatly manicured nails dug into her palms as she forced herself not to cry. “Yes.” Her voice caught on the sob she didn’t quite swallow, so she cleared her throat to hide it, avoiding Stone’s probing gaze. “I’m brand-new.”

And wasn’t that the complete truth? Certainly she’d been rebuilt since the car accident. For whatever reason, she’d been given another chance, and she didn’t want to mess it up this time. No longer did she want to spend the rest of her life job hopping for survival. Drifting from one group of so-called friends to another, living her life on the edge because that was the only way she knew how to live it.

She wanted to come back.

But if what she’d lived with all this time since the accident, knowing she’d pretty much mangled every inch of her face and a good part of her body, had terrified her, the prospect of telling Stone who she really was quite simply paralyzed her. No, petrified her.

Why had she lived?

She couldn’t help but wonder. She hadn’t deserved to-or had she? A part of her so desperately wanted someone to tell her how much she had deserved it.

But she had no one like that in her life, and that was her own fault.

“You’re beautiful,” Sara said.

Beautiful. In the accident, Jenna’s cheekbones had been shattered. So had her jaw and nose. They’d shaved her head completely, whisking away her icy blond waist-length locks without a thought.

It had grown back a bit now, but it was darker and much thicker, totally different than it had been before. Her eyes, normally blue, were covered with both dark sunglasses and even darker prescription contact lenses required for her own comfort-for most light still burned horribly-and also so she could see without wearing her glasses, which she hated.

She was totally and completely transformed. And as Sara pointed out, beautiful. “Thank you,” Jenna whispered, unable to stop looking at her child. It was hard to remain still, to not reach for her and pull her close.

“You moved here all alone?” Sara asked with the avid curiosity of the young.

The question threw Jenna off balance. Her mother had passed away some time ago, but she wasn’t truly alone, not with her sister, Kristen, still alive. Yet she couldn’t imagine her sister rejoicing at their reunion. “All alone,” she confirmed.

“This is my daughter, Sara.” Stone squeezed Sara’s shoulders, his big body shimmering with pride. “She’s very curious,” he added wryly. “And the new county basketball champ.”

“Daddy.” But Sara laughed.

Jenna swallowed hard, consumed by how he’d taken to fatherhood. She’d played an all-too-willing part in that area of his life, a part that to this day haunted her lonely nights with remembered visions of hot searing passion, warm safe arms that kept the outside world at bay and an unbreakable bond of affection. There would have been more, too, if only she’d let it.

She’d left him alone to deal with the consequences of their passion, but she knew, he had handled it as he handled everything-with an unwavering inner strength.

Which of course did nothing to assuage her horrible guilt and regret.

She could feel Stone’s interest like a physical thing, and it was no less for her. Standing this close to him, she had all she could do to remember to breathe. He was so familiar, yet a perfect stranger.

A magnificent perfect stranger she’d never been able to forget.

“Are you gonna eat pizza tonight?” Sara asked.

Jenna blinked at Sara. “Pizza?”

“Tonight’s pizza night at Joey’s. It’ll be packed with all the kids from the game,” Stone explained.

“Joey’s has great pizza.” Sara grinned in anticipation. “Lotsa cheese. I’m really starving, Daddy.”

Daddy. God, the way she said that, it made Jenna yearn. Made her ache. Made her want to cry, something she absolutely could not do with the protective contacts in, for it would burn like hell.

“We’re going, honey.” But Stone didn’t move for an interminably long moment.

Jenna didn’t, either. She held her breath, absorbing the intensity of his gaze. As the nearly visible electrical current ran between the two of them, she wondered how long this could continue.

“Daddy?”

“I know, Sara.” He smiled down at her, handed her the basketball and a backpack. “Here, take these. I’ll catch up in a sec.”

Happily Sara took his things, shot a shy smile at Jenna and walked away.

Stone waited, wanting to be certain Sara was out of earshot. “Look,” he said to the silent woman, feeling a little foolish. “This might seem odd, but…do I know you?”

Cindy paled. “What…what do you mean?”

He knew that following his gut instinct had been the right thing to do, given her reaction. But it explained nothing, certainly not the strange mixture of dismay and wonder just the sight of her evoked. “Have we met before?”

She raised a hand to her face, just as she had at the beach, as if she wanted to hide herself from him, which made no sense. But she seemed so distressed that Stone took pity on her and said quickly, as gently as he could, “I’m sorry. It’s just that you look…” What? She didn’t look familiar, not at all, and yet, he could swear that he knew her from somewhere.

But if he’d met this slender beauty before, certainly he would remember.

She made a soft sound, one that conveyed a wrenching sorrow. The urge to move forward, to take her arm and offer some sort of solace was strong.

But he’d sworn off damsels in distress a long time ago. The only women he let in his life now were strong-willed, self-possessed, sophisticated women who not only took care of themselves, but were not looking for any sort of permanence.

He might have laughed, for a woman in his life, any woman, was rare indeed. With his booming business and his vivacious daughter, Stone had little to no social time left over for himself. After so long he’d gotten used to it. Almost. But a small part of him couldn’t help but wonder… when would he meet someone who would reawaken his heart?

She smiled, although it was clearly forced. “Well…it was nice to see you again.”

So polite, he thought. So hurt. Dammit. “Wait,” he said just as she turned away, cursing himself even as he took a step toward her. “Are you coming for pizza night?”

Startled, she stared at him from behind those disconcertingly dark glasses. “I don’t think so.” A slim shoulder lifted. “I don’t know anyone.”

“You know us.” He had no idea why he was doing this, but something about her called to him on a deep primal level he was reluctant to explore. “Come on. It’d be a great way for you to acclimate yourself to small-town life.”

Suspicion filled her fine features. “How do you know I’m not used to it already?”

How to disburse that frightened-doe look? he wondered. “Your clothes for starters. We’re a one-school town here, and you’re dressed pretty fancy for a basketball game starring our local ten-year-olds.”

He laughed when she stared down at herself, taking in the expensive leather flats, the slim fitted trousers that outlined her showcase legs, her soft silky blouse, with the hint of lace and sexy curves beneath it. She wore a string of fine pearls on her elegant neck that reminded him of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but-

“Well, believe it or not, I grew up in a small town.” Her face colored slightly when he arched his brows in surprise. “But it’s been a while.”

“Daaaddyyyyy!”

Stone swiveled toward the voice. Sara stood in the doorway to the gymnasium, waving wildly, making him smile. “Coming,” he called.