“Because your wife said you needed me.”

He was going to kill her. He was going to wrap his hands around her pretty throat and squeeze. Except the minute he had the vision of killing his back-from-the-dead wife, she was suddenly naked and he wasn’t thinking about throttling her anymore. Maybe he could fuck her to death. That would be a better way to go.

“I was surprised to get that particular call,” Sean continued. “Since I wasn’t aware you had a wife.”

“I don’t.” He needed to get up. He needed to take a shower and get moving. He couldn’t lie around in bed. He had to figure out if Charlie was lying about Eli Nelson. She was too smart to completely fabricate a story, so he was sure there was a kernel of truth somewhere in it. It was his job to pull the truth from the bullshit, to beat her at her own game this time.

“She seemed really clear about it.” Sean leaned forward. “There’s water and ibuprofen on the bedside table. What’s with the Guns N’ Roses overload? Seriously, you listened to that song three hundred times last night. I wanted to blow my own ears off after an hour.”

He really hated her. How could she have brought Sean into this? “I like Axl Rose. Something about the hair just does it for me.”

He downed the pills. If anyone else had been sitting across from him, he wouldn’t have taken them. He would have assumed they were poison meant to horrifically liquefy his insides. Hell, he rarely drank a drink he didn’t pour himself, but he trusted Sean. Even though Sean rarely talked to him anymore. Come to think of it, this was the closest he’d been to Sean in a year.

He trusted his team—Alex and Eve and Li and Jake, and even that fucker Adam. He trusted Grace and Serena and Avery because they loved his brothers, but that was the extent of it. He hadn’t known Simon long enough, and he trusted Jesse as far as he could throw the little fucker.

Charlie was proof positive that he couldn’t trust anyone outside his circle.

“Come on, man. I’ve never seen you the way you were last night.”

He sent his brother a questioning look. “Did I behave in some way I shouldn’t have?”

Sean ran a frustrated hand through his hair and sat back. “No. You sat. You drank. You yelled at me when I tried to turn off the music. You were utterly stoic and refused to talk about anything except your pizza. Which I’m honestly surprised you managed to keep down. I had to make that crust from scratch, you know. If you’re going to force me to cook in the middle of the night, let’s talk about stocking your kitchen. I had to call Alex in with supplies. How do you survive on Fruity Pebbles and days-old Chinese food?”

He ate at the office more often than not. Grace smuggled whatever Sean had cooked the night before into the fridge at the office and everyone knew that if they took that food, Ian would murder them.

God, his life had become a pathetic circle of sleeping, eating at his desk, and forcing himself to work out. He’d been sleepwalking through life for years because of that woman. It had to stop. If her showing up on his doorstep had taught him one thing, it was that it was time to let her go.

“I need to take a sub. That’s my problem. I need someone to take care of the everyday shit and then I’ll be okay. I’ll tell Ryan I’m taking applications.” That would do it. He’d been a pussy about his own needs for years. He needed a full-time submissive who would take care of the house, deal with the inanities of life, make sure he was fed, and see to his sexual needs. In exchange, he would offer financial support and his own unique brand of discipline.

Yes, that was what he should do. Maybe he would take two subs. He had a lot of needs.

Sean’s eyes had gone wide again. “I think that would be a mistake.”

“I would think you would be thrilled. I rely on Grace far too much.”

Sean sighed a little, the same way he would when he was younger and admitting something he’d done wrong. “Grace loves you. She doesn’t mind. And I make extra. I know you think she’s risking my wrath, but I’ve always known she was feeding you. As mad as I’ve been at you, you’ve always been my brother. I won’t let you starve. God knows you didn’t let me.”

Their shared childhood sat between them. Their father had left them high and dry, and their mother had needed someone to tell her what to do. Ian had been forced to take over. He’d had to get a job and bring in money while he finished high school and made sure Sean had what he needed. There had been plenty of times during those years when there wasn’t enough food, and Ian had made sure Sean went to bed full to the detriment of his own stomach. He’d had to do it. Sean was younger. Sean had needed him. He’d known that from the moment Sean had been born. “That doesn’t matter now.”

“You have no idea how that attitude bugs me, but I’ll let it go. I’m glad you let Grace help. Kris won’t take Grace’s head off. I worry about what she’ll do if you start auditioning subs. You have a wife. They tend to get pissy about other women taking their place.”

“She’s not my wife.” He’d forgotten briefly that Sean had already met Charlie. They had worked together in Florida. “And her name isn’t Kris.”

Sean’s blue eyes rolled. “I know. Sorry. Charlotte. I wish everyone would just stick to one name. I’ve been out of the game too long to remember everyone’s fake names. My sous chef is named Hans. I don’t know his last name. I don’t need to. It’s just Hans. One name per person, please.”

His head was pounding. Hangovers sucked ass. “Good for you and Hans. I hope you’ll be very happy together.”

“Yeah, well, the point is you won’t be happy when Charlotte starts beheading the subs at Sanctum. She seems like a nice woman, but there’s a crazy bitch in there, too.”

He’d seen the crazy bitch in her from the first moment. It had been right there in those crystal blue eyes. Yeah, that was kind of why he’d loved her. Wanted her. Wanted to fuck her. That was all. “She’ll be gone soon.”

Once she realized he wouldn’t give her what she wanted, she would move on and he could forget her again.

Except he’d never managed to forget her in the first place.

“Does she know that? Because I don’t think she got the memo,” Sean said. “Look, why don’t you tell me the story from the beginning? Where did you meet her?”

He had no intention of rehashing old history. Something was wrong. It played around in his mind. He was missing something important. “She was at a club. I fucked her. She wouldn’t go away. Then she died. Story over.”

“God, you’re obnoxious. You married the woman. There has to be more.”

What the hell was he missing? “I’m not joining your pussy-whipped men’s therapy group, Sean.”

Sean shot him the finger. “It’s called a poker club, asshole, and we wouldn’t have you.”

The bacon. That was the problem. He got still, forcing himself to really listen. Someone was cooking, and it sure as hell wasn’t Sean. “Did you bring Hans with you?”

Sean waved that idea off. “Nah, that’s Alex.”

Motherfucker. He rose to his feet, his head only threatening to crack wide open. A man couldn’t simply drink himself to death quietly around here. No. His friends had to show up to watch the show. “He’s supposed to be on his honeymoon.”

Alex’s big body was suddenly in the doorway. “Eve and I canceled. This is so much more important.”

God, Alex was going to kill him. He really was going to vomit. “I don’t need anyone to hold my fucking hand.”

“Oh, no. You misunderstand. I wasn’t talking about being here for you emotionally. I know you would never let me do that. I was talking about how much fun it’s going to be to watch you deal with Kris…Charlotte. Eve and I agreed watching this shit go down is going to be way better than Hawaii.”

Now he sent his best friend his happy middle finger. “Fuck you, Alex.”

“Come on, man. You were always there for me. You have woman troubles. You can lean on me.”

“You make it sound like I’m menstruating, Alex.”

Sean nodded. “That would explain the mood swings, and so very much of my childhood.”

He sent his brother a look that should have had him running. “I don’t have mood swings. I just hate everything. See, that’s what they mean by even tempered.”

Alex just chuckled. “I think Eve would disagree, but it’s good to see last night didn’t change you. I worried your beloved would come back from the dead and you would be a changed man, all hearts and flowers.”

“She’s lucky I didn’t kill her.” He hadn’t really even thought about it. He’d had a gun in his hand. He’d had someone who betrayed him in his sights, but no, he’d just convinced her to give him a blow job and insulted her and sent her away. Maybe Alex was right. He was totally going soft. If he didn’t watch out he would be at Sean’s Thursday night “poker” club which was really just an excuse to drink imported girlie beer and discuss their feelings. They played poker so they could nominally call themselves men.

He should have shot her. Then he could be in a nice comfy jail cell far away from his meddling friends.

Alex frowned a little. “I was actually surprised she wasn’t still here. I thought you wanted to question her. I came over to make sure she wasn’t tied up somewhere.”

But if he’d tied her up, he wouldn’t have been able to leave her alone. He would have spanked that juicy ass of hers and it wouldn’t have been long before he shoved his cock up her tiny asshole.

God, he’d never fucked her ass. He’d been training her for it when she’d “died.” That’s what he should have gotten out of her. He should have gotten some nasty anal sex.

“I don’t care what she has to say.” He wasn’t going to talk about what was going through his head. Alex didn’t need to know he still had a perverse obsession with his ex’s ass.

“Ian, she’s smart,” Alex pointed out. “If she says she has a line on Nelson, we should check it out.”

“She was working for Nelson, so we can’t believe her. She’s also a criminal.”

“I don’t think she does that anymore. You didn’t see her in Florida.” Alex leaned against the doorjamb. “I think she’s been trying to redeem herself. For you.”

Getting remarried had made mush of his best friend’s brain. “She’s a liar. She fucked me for money and information, and that’s why she’s here now.”

Sean whistled. “Tell me you didn’t call her a whore.”

Ian shrugged. He tried not to lie to his brother.

“Fuck,” Sean cursed and reached into his pocket, pulling out what looked like a stack of twenties.

Alex took it with a shake of his head. “I told you.” He turned to Ian. “We had a bet on how you got the shiner.”

“Fuck you both. Get out of my house.” He stalked toward the bathroom. He needed a shower. He needed to get back on an even keel. Whatever Charlie was trying to do by contacting his brother, it didn’t matter because it wouldn’t fucking work.

“Don’t feel bad. It’s how he says I love you,” Sean explained to Alex.

Alex laughed, shaking his head. “Breakfast is ready when you can stomach it, brother.”

He slammed the door. Those two wouldn’t go away. He might be able to scare Adam into leaving. Jake would follow orders. Simon didn’t care enough to fuck with him, but Sean and Alex wouldn’t believe him even if he threatened to shoot them both.

Maybe he needed to rethink the whole “inner circle of trust” thing. It was kind of biting him in the ass now. He should be able to wallow in his misery, but no, he had to deal with this crap.

He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Damn, he looked like shit. He reached up and touched his left eye. It wasn’t horrible, but it had bruised. Charlie knew how to throw a punch.

He didn’t like to think about how many she’d taken. There it was again, that gnawing guilt that he wasn’t going to give into.

He turned on the shower, not bothering to let the water heat up. He didn’t fucking need any heat. Ice. He needed to remind himself that he had ice in his veins. He shrugged out of his slacks. He’d apparently passed out still wearing them.

What the fuck had that woman done to him? He’d lost control. He never lost control. He’d gotten drunk and blacked out. Even during all the years of mourning her loss, he always remembered every moment. Once a year, on the day she died, he would listen to that fucking song and drink Scotch and remind himself why he wouldn’t let another woman in. Not once had he passed out and forgotten the majority of the evening. It was dangerous. It was stupid.

She was going to kill him in the end.