Sandi Lynn - Love in Between

“Wow, Lils. That’s deep. But tell me this, what’s more perfect than two broken people trying to heal each other?”

“Let it go, Gretchen. I’m done with guys, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Let’s go now because I need a drink.”

“I know you when you get like this, and you better stay away from the vodka,” she warned as she grabbed her keys.

Luke

“Dude, come on, get out of the shower already,” I said as I pounded on the bathroom door. “You’re worse than a girl!”

“I’ll be out in a minute!” Sam yelled.

I couldn’t get my mind off of Lily, and I couldn’t believe I kissed her. Her soft lips against mine were intoxicating, and it left me wanting to explore more of her. She probably thinks I’m a jerk, and this will probably ruin our friendship. How could I be so stupid? I haven’t kissed a girl since Callie.

“Bro, what’s up?” Sam said as he stood in the doorway of my bedroom.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking about some things.”

“I could tell you were in deep thought the way you were just standing there. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I kissed Lily,” I blurted out.

“What! Seriously, man?”

“Don’t make it a bigger deal than it already is. I’m sure she hates me now, and I’m positive I ruined our friendship,” I said as I walked out of the bedroom.

“You didn’t ruin anything, Luke. I can tell Lily likes you and maybe kissing her was what you needed to do to let her know you’re interested in her. And don’t say you’re not, because I know you,” he said as he pointed at me.

“I can’t stop my feelings, but I can stop my actions. I find that when I’m with Lily, I think less and less about Callie, and that’s not right, man.”

Sam walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Luke, you loved Callie, and what you had was great, but she’s gone, and you have to start accepting that. Do you think Callie would want you to live in misery and not move on? Wouldn’t you want Callie to find someone who’d make her happy and take care of her the way you did? Dude, come on, you need to let go.”

“You think it’s so easy,” I said as I wiped away a tear that fell down my face. I grabbed my keys from counter. “Let’s go,” I said as I walked out the door, out of the building, and climbed into the Jeep.

* * *

As we walked into Bernie’s, I saw Lily sitting at the bar. Gretchen jumped up and ran over to hug Sam. I didn’t know what to say to Lily. I already apologized for kissing her. She turned around and looked at me as I gave her a small smile before walking over to the stage to get things set up. Shortly after, Lucky came strolling in with his arm around Giselle.

“Feeling good tonight, boys.” Lucky strutted over with a big smile across his face.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. “Let me guess, you got laid.”

“That’s right, Lukey boy,” he said as he slapped me on the back. “You should try it sometime.”

I ignored him because he was Lucky, and that’s how he was. When we got the stage set up, the bar had already filled up since Bernie had advertised that we’d be playing tonight. I kept looking over at Lily, but she wouldn’t look at me. She kept her back turned and drank her beer. I took a deep breath, and I walked over and sat on the bar stool next to her.

“Hey,” I said.

She picked up her beer, took a sip, and looked at me. “Hey.”

Candi, the bartender, walked over to where we were sitting. “The usual, Luke?”

“The usual.” I smiled.

Lily sat there and stared at her beer bottle. “I’m sorry about earlier,” I said.

“Sorry about what?” She smiled as she looked at me.

“Um, when I crossed the line and kissed you.”

She tilted her head and slowly shook it. “I’m sorry, Luke, but I don’t recall you kissing me.”

I grinned because that was her way of telling me that everything was cool between us. I held up my beer bottle as she held up hers, and we lightly tapped them together.

“I have to get on stage now.”

“Good luck.” She smiled.

Lily

I sat there while Luke walked to the stage. He was still apologizing for our kiss. I could tell he felt awkward about it, so I had to turn it into nothing, even though it was something to me. It was something real that stirred up desire and passion from within. Something I won’t so easily be able to forget. I was in deep thought, holding the beer bottle between both my hands, when I heard his voice. I closed my eyes for a moment because his voice was breathtaking. As I turned around to face the stage, I saw him standing there, in his stonewashed jeans and brown boots. His navy blue shirt was tight and emphasized his muscular, ripped body. He was sexy as hell, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted him to kiss me again. I needed another drink, so I motioned for Candi, and I ordered a shot of vodka. The beer just wasn’t doing it, and I needed to forget about Luke, the kiss, and my mother. I threw back the shot that Candi set down in front of me, and I ordered another. I listened intently as he sang his song. The words haunted me.

“Sleep, baby, sleep

Peace is just a dream away

Let it go and release your fears

For tomorrow’s another day.”

I grabbed the shot glass out of Candi’s hand before she could set it down. After Luke finished his song and sang a few more, I was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. Giselle and Gretchen walked over and sat down at the bar next to me.

“Why didn’t you sit with us at the table?” Giselle asked.

“I wanted to sit here; I didn’t feel like getting up.”

“Are you ok, Lily?” Gretchen asked.

“Sure,” I said. “Everything’s just dandy. My mom, who’s dead to me, is trying to track me down. The boy next door kissed me, then apologized and left me sitting on the bed, looking like an idiot. I found my fiancé and my sister fucking in a closet on my wedding day, and best of all, my mother knew they were seeing each other for a long time. Cheers to my awesome fucking life,” I said as I held up my beer bottle.

“What’s going on?” Luke said as he walked up behind me.

“Hey, Luke, great show,” Giselle and Gretchen said at the same time.

Sam and Lucky walked over, grabbed their girls, and kissed them. I rolled my eyes and turned back around towards the bar.

“Let’s dance,” Giselle said as she grabbed Lucky’s hand.

“Awesome idea! Come on, Lily,” Gretchen said.

“You go ahead; I’ll join you in a while.”

“Come on, let’s go sit at a table and talk,” Luke said as he lightly touched my arm.

I got up from the stool, grabbed my beer bottle, and walked with Luke over to a table.

“You were really amazing; I want you know that.” I smiled.

“Thanks.” He smiled as he looked down in embarrassment.

A waitress, named Deb, came over to the table and set down two napkins. “Great performance as always, Luke. You want the usual?”

“Thanks, Deb. Get me a beer and whatever Lily wants.”

“What can I get you, sweetie?” Deb asked.

“Two shots of vodka and make them doubles, please.”

“Ok, two shots of vodka and a beer coming right up.” She smiled.

“Switching over to the hard liquor?” Luke asked.

“I need it tonight,” I said.

“Why’s that?”

“I really don’t want to get into it.”

Suddenly, two girls approached the table. I recognized one of them; she was the one giving Luke a blow job that night I walked in on them.

“Hi, Luke.” She smiled. “You were so awesome tonight.”

“Thanks.” He smiled.

“Would you like to get together later and maybe talk or something?” she asked.

“No, not tonight.”

Deb walked over with our drinks and just in time. She set the vodka down in front of me and handed Luke his beer. I slammed the first shot and then the second.

“Aw, come on, I promise that you’ll have a really good time,” she whined.

“Back off. He said no! Now, take your little slutty asses and get away from my table!” I yelled.

Luke looked at me in surprise as he drank his beer.

“Who the hell are you?” she asked.

I got up out of my seat. “I’m someone who’s trying to have a conversation here, but instead, I’m being bothered by some little groupie who thinks she’s going to get laid.”

Luke stood up and lightly grabbed my arm. “Lily, sit down.”

I jerked my arm away. “Don’t touch me!” I snapped.

Giselle and Gretchen came running over to the table with Sam and Lucky following behind.

“Go down the street; I’m sure there’s a very profitable corner with your name on it. If you’re going to blow random strangers, then you might as well get paid for it.”

“Bitch!” she snapped as she turned on her heels and walked away.

Giselle clasped my shoulders, and Gretchen picked up the shot glass and smelled it.

“Shit, she’s drinking vodka.”

Luke looked at me and then at Gretchen. “Is that bad or something?” he asked.

“Yeah, it is,” Giselle answered.

“Lily tends to get mean and violent when she drinks vodka. It’s the only alcohol that affects her that way. She can drink anything else, get drunk, and have fun, but vodka turns her into a different person,” Gretchen answered.

“Oh, fuck off! I can drink whatever the hell I want. Who are you? My mother?”

Luke leaned over the table. “Watch your mouth.”

I leaned over until I was inches from his face. “Fuck you too! I want everyone to just leave me the hell alone!” I exclaimed as I got up from my seat.

Anger washed over his face. He got up from his seat and followed me to the bar. “You aren’t drinking anymore tonight.”

“I’m going to the restroom; I’ll be right back,” I said.

I just wanted to go home. At this point, I was drunk, and I didn’t feel good, so I left the bar and started walking down the street. It wasn’t too long after when I heard Luke calling my name.

“Are you crazy? You told me you were going to the bathroom. Why did you leave, Lily?”

I stopped, and as I turned around, I started to stumble, but he caught me. “I just want to be left alone. I want you to leave me alone, Luke.”

We were by a dark alley with only a dimmed light post to provide some lighting. Luke pushed me up against the brick and pinned my hands with his to the wall. “I don’t want to leave you alone, Lily.”

We stared into each other’s eyes before he leaned forward and forcefully pushed his lips against mine, forcing my lips to part. He kissed me as if he wanted to devour me. Our tongues were tangled as the alluring scent of him engulfed my senses. I felt helpless, and I couldn’t move because he was too strong. My heart was racing. Moments later, he broke our kiss and stared at me.

“I hope you don’t remember this tomorrow,” he whispered.

Luke let go of my hands and picked me up. He carried me to his Jeep, set me in the passenger seat, pulled the seatbelt over me, and buckled it. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

My eyes flew open, and I looked around my bedroom. Looking down, I noticed that I was still in my dress from last night. Over to the right, the clock read 8:00 a.m. I put my hand on my head as it felt like there was someone inside, pounding it with a sledgehammer. I felt sick, and I was still a little dizzy. I couldn’t remember how I got home or in my bed. Stumbling out of bed, I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror; my mascara was smeared underneath my red eyes. I started the bath and poured some bubbles under the stream of running water; then I climbed into the tub and laid myself back. The last thing I remembered about last night was Luke’s band performing. I ran my fingers across my lips; remembering the dream I had about him kissing me and how real it felt. I closed my eyes to try and soothe my pounding head, but it didn’t help. After a thirty minute soak, I got out of the bathtub and threw on a fuchsia cotton sundress. I ran a brush through my hair and piled it on top of my head in a messy bun; then I stumbled back into the bathroom for some Motrin. As I pulled out the bottle, I noticed it was empty. I sighed. As I made my way to the kitchen, I was startled by a knock on the door. I walked over, looked out the peephole, and saw Luke standing there with coffee in his hands, so I opened the door.