Ivan stuffed a pillow behind his back and pulled Stephanie against him, wrapping her in his arms. “Steph, do you trust me?”
She thought about it for a moment. “Yes.”
“Don’t worry about the sex.”
“Easy for you to say.” Stephanie sighed. “I’ve been afraid for so long, you know? I wanted to be brave about this. I wanted to… go for the gusto.”
“What were you afraid of?”
“Everything. Just call me No Guts Stephanie. I lost my courage as a cop, then I realized that I didn’t have any courage as a person. All those chicken dinners and meaningless evenings with Steve. I was like a little kid carrying around a security blanket. I was afraid to go off on my own, afraid to break away from my parents, afraid to take risks in a more demanding male-female relationship.”
“Sometimes when you’re very close to things, it’s hard to see them. They get out of perspective. You were doing something that obviously was important to you, and you had to delay other parts of your life for a while. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Stephanie allowed herself the luxury of leaning on him. “Thanks. I know it was a trade-off, but I think toward the end I was using my job as an excuse to avoid developing other areas of my life. I’d forgotten how to make friends. I’d made my life very narrow. I’d lost the courage to be accessible… to be vulnerable.”
“And now?”
“There are so many things I want to do. I feel as though I’ve been standing with my nose pressed against the bakery window, and now I’m finally allowed inside, and I don’t know what to buy first.”
“What goodies are at the top of your list?”
Stephanie hesitated. She shifted around in his arms and looked him straight in the eye. “I guess your goodies would be number one.”
“Oh.”
“Oh? That’s all you can say? Oh? I’ve just told you for the second time in ten minutes that I’m hot for your goodies, and all you can say is oh. I’ve just spilled my guts about being vulnerable, and all you can say is oh. What kind of a pirate are you anyway? Why aren’t you ravishing me? Why doesn’t anyone ever want to ravish me?” She was shouting, and her cheeks were bright red. “Look at me! I’m hysterical! You’ve made me hysterical. I’ve never been hysterical before.”
She took a deep, calming breath and pressed her lips together. “I’m going to leave now. Tomorrow I’m going to be mortally embarrassed about this, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t talk to me. In a year or so my embarrassment will probably fade, and maybe we can be friends. In the meantime, stay far away from me.”
Stephanie sat Indian style on the forward cabin roof. She huddled inside her hooded sweatshirt and squinted into the drizzle. Everything around her was black. There were no stars, no moon, no light from belowdecks. Everyone was asleep, exhausted from an old-fashioned Maine clambake. Tomorrow they’d sail into Camden Harbor and go about their business. Tomorrow she’d hunt up Stanley Shelton and get her toilet fixed. And Sunday she’d sleep until noon. She saw a shadow move at the other end of the ship and realized Ivan was also on deck and watching her. She had mixed feelings about that. He hadn’t done anything but watch her for three days. It wasn’t any secret he was lying low. Of course, that was exactly what she’d ordered him to do, but it didn’t sit well all the same.
He walked toward her, looking like an apparition gliding through the mist, very mysterious and a little spooky. He stood in front of her with his thumbs stuck in his jeans pockets. “Can’t sleep?”
“Didn’t want to.”
“Making the most of your last night on board?”
“Something like that.” The truth was, she was restless. She’d wanted to have a shipboard romance and had only succeeded in making a spectacle of herself. So she’d come topside to sit in the rain and lick her wounds and feel sorry for herself. In the process she was thinking a few nasty thoughts about Ivan Rasmussen.
“I had a call from Lucy this evening. She said she’ll be sailing with me on Monday.”
Stephanie looked at him. There was laughter behind his gray eyes-and something else. He was holding something back. “And?”
“And she didn’t get married.”
“What?” Stephanie jumped to her feet. “What do you mean, she didn’t get married? She’s still engaged? What happened?”
“I guess they had a big fight, and Lucy told him what he could do with his plumbing.”
“Oh, man. How could she do this to me? Is he going to fix my toilet?”
Ivan’s mouth curved. “I don’t know. Didn’t sound to me as though they parted friends.”
“I did this for nothing! I suffered through this whole dumb week for nothing!”
The smile faded from Ivan’s lips, he grabbed her by the arms, and he pulled her to him. “I wouldn’t say you did it for nothing.”
Oh, great. Now he was going to deliver some little speech about ships passing in the night, she thought bitterly. He was going to give her one of those kisses that left her babbling nonsense, then he was going to say it was swell. Maybe she should introduce him to Steve. “Hmmm,” she said. It was all she could manage, and even to her ears it sounded grim.
“Are you mad about something?” Of course she’s mad, he thought. In her eyes, he’d rejected her, insulted her, and embarrassed her. And for the past three days he’d kept his distance, waiting for her to calm down, but it seemed as if she’d grown more furious with each passing day.
“No. Jeez, what would I be mad about? I propositioned you and was immediately rejected. But, hey, who’s holding a grudge? All that talk about pirates ravishing pretty girls, then nothing. Nothing!” She spun away from him and stomped over to the rail. “I can’t imagine why you think I’m mad.”
“Maybe it’s the way you’re shouting and waving your arms.”
“I’m not shouting.”
Stephanie felt the shove of hands at her back and then she was flying through space and plunging feetfirst into the ocean. She bobbed to the surface sputtering expletives.
Ivan dropped a life preserver beside her. “Are you okay?”
“Do I look okay? I’m in the water. I’m drowning.”
He dropped a rope ladder over the side and plunged into the water beside her. “Grab hold of the ladder and pull yourself up before you get dragged under by the weight of your clothes.”
“Get away from me, you maniac. You tried to kill me.”
“Listen, lady, I’m in freezing cold water, fully clothed, and I’m trying to rescue you. Now get up the stupid ladder.”
Stephanie labored up the ladder and staggered onto the deck. “You pushed me! I should have you arrested for attempted manslaughter.”
“I didn’t push you. What’s this thing you have about being pushed anyway? Someone pushed you down the hill and someone pushed you into the water. You know what I think? I think you’re a fruitcake.”
“You take one step closer, and I’m going to scream,” she said to Ivan.
Ivan kicked off his shoes and wrung out his woolen shirt. “Now you’re resorting to screaming? Don’t you want to kick me in the groin? Maybe break a few bones?”
“Now that you mention it, maybe I do.”
“Okay, come on.”
Stephanie rolled her eyes.
Ivan grinned at her. “I’m waiting.”
“This is ridiculous.”
He stalked her around the forward deck-house. He curled his finger at her. “Come here, Stephanie.”
“Forget it. I’m not going to wrestle with you.” More games, she thought. They’d roll around together until she was all bothered, then he’d probably pitch her back into the ocean to cool off. No thanks.
She turned on her heel and squished down the ladder to the galley. A single lantern cast a soft circle of light over the cabin. The fire in the stove was almost out. Stephanie stoked it to life and added several logs.
Ivan followed her down the stairs, looking over at Ace’s bunk. “Doesn’t he ever sleep in his own bed?”
“I think he’s made up with Melody.”
“They deserve each other.”
Stephanie stepped out of her shoes and pulled the wet sweatshirt over her head, leaving her in a soaked T-shirt. And what about me? she wondered. Did she deserve Ivan Rasmussen? Wasn’t Steve enough? She twisted the bottom of her T-shirt and squeezed out the water. Two ringers in a row. How could she be so lucky?
Ivan had stripped to the waist and had his hands on the snap to his jeans.
Stephanie looked over and felt a rush of panic. Lord, he was getting undressed! Ivan Rasmussen naked. The answer to every woman’s dream. This was what she’d wanted, wasn’t it? Well, wasn’t it?
She swallowed hard and admitted that romance was one thing-naked was another. She might not be ready for naked. Especially since Ivan wasn’t inclined to follow through on sexual overtures. What if she got carried away and attacked him, and he rejected her? Good grief, Stephanie, she thought, that’s insane. She wasn’t going to attack him. The most likely scenario was that she’d start stammering and sweating and probably hyperventilating.
She put her hands on her hips and squinted through the drops of water trickling into her eyes from her soaked bangs. “What are you doing?”
“I’m getting out of my clothes. In case you haven’t noticed, they’re wet. They’re wet because, demented fool that I am, I jumped into the ocean to save you. I don’t know why I felt compelled to do that. Lord knows you’re perfectly capable of saving yourself. You’ve been thrown into the Hudson River, probably pushed out of third-story windows, and dragged through rat-infested alleys.” He raked his hand through his wet hair. “You know, it’s damn hard to be a hero for you.”
Stephanie scowled at him. “I don’t need a hero.”
“What do you need?”
She didn’t exactly know what she needed. Actually, a hero wouldn’t be a bad place to start. A small hero. Nothing on the scale of Superman or Batman. She looked at Ivan. He was heroic enough. Especially now that he was standing in front of her in a pair of tight, soaked-to-the-skin navy blue briefs. He might even be more heroic than she needed, she thought, chewing on her lower lip. “You’re going to leave those on, aren’t you?” she asked hopefully.
She was nervous. Not much experience with naked men, he thought. He liked that. He didn’t want to share Stephanie with anyone- from her past or present or future. “What happened to being brave?”
Her body responded with a ripple of desire, and her temper flared equally as strongly. “Is this why you dunked me in the water? So you could come in here and flaunt your naked body at me?”
He crossed the room and took a pair of sweats from Ace’s bunk. “Just for the record, one more time, I didn’t dunk you in the water. You dunked yourself in the water.” He knew he was asking for trouble, but he couldn’t resist teasing. She was terrific when she was indignant.
“And now that I think about it, I suppose I could make the same accusation. I know you’re hot for my body, but this is going to an unnecessary extreme. If you wanted to get me naked-” He turned around just in time to dodge a frying pan.
“Out!” Stephanie shouted, pointing to the hatch. “Out! Out! Out! Before I start throwing knives!”
Ivan stood at midship and watched his passengers depart. He was waiting for Stephanie, wondering if she would warm up when she said good-bye. The atmosphere between them at breakfast had been very frosty, and lunch hadn’t been much better. He straightened when he saw Stephanie emerge from the hatch with her backpack slung over one shoulder. She briskly walked past him with her nose tipped up ever so slightly. “ ’Bye,” Ivan said.
Stephanie narrowed her eyes and threw him a brief sideways glance without breaking stride.
A small smile lit his face. Maybe he’d underestimated the way she felt about him. She had to have some serious emotions to be so mad. She stormed up the hill without a second glance, and Ivan felt elated at her fury. This is just the beginning, he thought. Winters were long in Maine. It would be nice to have such a challenging project. Stephanie Lowe was doomed.
Mr. and Mrs. Pease approached him. “It was great,” Mr. Pease said. “We’ll be back next year.”
Mrs. Pease looked less enthusiastic. “Next time I’m bringing my heart medicine. That girl with the blue hair and butcher knife sure had me going for a while. And the sea captain’s wife just about took my breath away. I don’t know how you did it, but darned if it didn’t look like a real ghost. I have to tell you, I was pretty startled the first time I saw her standing there on the prow of the ship. But then I knew it was a trick. I figured you did it with movie cameras or something.”
Ivan nodded. “Yup. That’s exactly how we do it. Movie cameras.” He helped Mrs. Pease down the short gangplank and wondered who had put her up to the prank. There were several repeat customers on the voyage, not to mention Ace and Stephanie, all of whom knew about Aunt Tess. Then, of course, there was the other possibility…
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