"Ive missed that so much," Christine whispered against her neck. "You were the only one who ever made me feel so alive."

It had seemed the most natural thing in the world to take Christine into her arms, to bend her head to the lips she knew so well, to hear the soft intake of breath she remembered with startling clarity. Christine stirred against her as she had a thousand times before, softly moaning her name. Nothing had changed, and everything was different. Graham saw them together in her mind's eye, but her body remained untouched. Whereas once the mere stroke of Christines fingers against her skin could make her heart race, now she felt no surging of her blood, no flaring of her senses, no answering passion. Gently, she loosed her hold on the woman in her arms, stepping back from her embrace.

Christine had always been able to read Grahams mercurial moods. "You dont believe Ive missed you, do you, darling?"

"Perhaps if it had been a year, or two, or even ten," Graham replied without anger, for strangely she felt none, "I might have."

Christine slowly traced the faint scar across Grahams forehead, then reached up to kiss her lips once more. "Give me time. Ill make you believe again," she whispered.

Graham shook her head, in disbelief then, in wordless frustration now. She new Anna was waiting. "Im sorry, Anna. I wish I could explain. Theres simply nothing I can say."

"Thats all right," Anna said stiffly. "You dont need to say anything. She is clearly important to you, and it certainly isnt necessary to justify yourself to me." She knew she sounded cold, but she couldnt help it. She wasnt even certain what bothered her so much about Christines return. If Christine could ease Grahams deep desolation, if she could restore some happiness to Grahams life, Anna should be grateful. Of course, Anna wanted to see Graham happy. Oh, it was all too much to deal with, this whole nightmare of a week! Why was it that the very things that seemed to ease Grahams discomfort -her physical reserve, her emotional distance, and now Christines presence - were the same things that made Anna so miserable!!

"Ill be down for dinner, Graham," Anna said wearily.

Graham started to speak, then merely sighed. "Yes."


Chapter Eleven


Anna was the first to arrive in the dining room. The long highly polished table was elaborately set with starched handmade linens, antique silver cutlery, fine crystal glassware and china place settings. The formality of the scene was more than a little daunting. Anna reminded herself that there had been much more to Grahams previous life than she had gleaned from the newspaper accounts. The understated way Graham lived at Yardley now was a far departure from her earlier life. She was a world-renowned artist, recognized in every civilized country, and surely she would have traveled in the most elite circles. She would have been feted at every turn. It made Anna wistful to think she would never know that part of Graham.

Angrily she reminded herself that Graham Yardley obviously had all the companionship she needed with the arrival of Christine. Whatever diversion Anna had provided was surely unnecessary now. The only person who would miss their moments together was herself. She felt at once helpless and irrationally saddened.

"My dont you look nice!" Helen exclaimed as she bustled into the room, mercifully delivering Anna from her introspection.

"Helen!" Anna greeted her with relief. "You must have been working for hours in here! Its wonderful."

Helen beamed with pleasure as she began setting up the large buffet along one side of the room. "Youre right, it did! And it couldnt have been a happier chore. For just a moment there this morning, when she was telling me what she wanted done, Graham seemed like her old self."

Helen had no idea that her words had wounded Anna, who instantly thought that all it had taken to motivate Grahams recovery was Christine's return. Helen continued, unaware of Annas growing depression. "I do wish she would let me serve, though! She insisted that I prepare a buffet, and that I eat with you, but it just doesnt seem right! If only I had time I could have found help!"

"I dont have much experience, but I could probably manage the serving," Anna said dubiously. In her state of mind, anything seemed preferable to sitting down to dinner with Graham and Christine.

"Nonsense," Graham said from the door, having heard Annas remark. "Im sure we can all manage ourselves just this once, Helen."

Anna turned at the sound of Grahams voice, her heart freezing at the sight of Graham and Christine together. Christine, who had changed into a revealing black evening dress, stood with her arm wrapped through Grahams, leaning slightly so that her body pressed against Grahams side. They made a stunningly attractive couple, and Anna had to admit thats what they were. There was a connection between them that was undeniable, regardless of the years that had separated them. Christine held onto Graham as if she owned her, and Graham seemed content to let her. Anna averted her gaze, unable to tolerate the insurmountable evidence that Graham was still very much involved with Christine.

"At least let me help you set up," she said to Helen, grateful for any diversion.

"Thank you, dear," Helen replied kindly. Annas reaction to Grahams entrance had not escaped her. She could only imagine what the poor girl was thinking. And she probably didnt know Graham well enough to know that Graham was behaving exactly as she would with any guest at Yardley.

"You really didnt need to open the guest room for me, Helen," Christine commented as she allowed Graham to seat her to Grahams right at the table. She smiled without the slightest trace of warmth, her gaze fixed on Anna. "It wasnt necessary, you know."

Anna glanced at Graham, whose face remained expressionless. But Christine had made her point, if she wanted to make it clear where she intended to sleep. Why she felt it necessary that Anna understand her claim on Graham, Anna couldnt imagine. As if it would make a difference even if Anna did care. Anna gritted her teeth and resolved to make this the last meal she shared with Graham Yardley and her Christine.

The dinner proved to be every bit as difficult to endure as Anna feared. Graham, although attentive to Christines needs and unfailingly courteous, remained distant and distracted throughout the meal. Christine appeared not to notice Grahams preoccupation, regaling them with social gossip and endless anecdotes of her travels. It did not escape Annas notice that Christine never mentioned anything remotely to do with music. For her part, Anna had nothing to contribute, and remained silent. She breathed a sigh of relief when at last she could depart with the excuse of helping Helen clear the table.

"You know you dont have to do this, dear," Helen chided when Anna joined her in the kitchen. " But I do appreciate it."

"I work here, too," Anna said, more sharply than she intended. "Believe me, its a pleasure compared to sitting in there."

Helen studied her speculatively. "I gather the company wasnt to your liking," she commented mildly.

"It was wonderful to finally share a meal with Graham," Anna admitted. Anna had enjoyed Grahams presence immensely, despite Graham's obvious distraction. She only wished it hadnt required Christines arrival to prompt Graham to join them.

"Christine can be a bit overbearing, but you must remember shes always been indulged by every one."

"Including Graham apparently," Anna said ungraciously. She sighed in disgust, as much with herself as the situation. "Oh, I dont know, Helen, it just annoys me the way she hovers over Graham. She poured her wine, she served her food - the next thing you know shell be cutting her meat! You know very well Graham doesnt need that kind of help!!"

"Maybe thats the only kind of help Christine has to offer," Helen suggested sagely.

Anna stopped what she was doing and stared at Helen. "What are you saying, Helen?"

"Christine has always been more glitter than substance. And Graham has always demanded a great deal from people - even before their accident, Christine was frightened by Grahams intensity. If she were to truly confront Grahams needs now, she would be overwhelmed. "

Well, she certainly seems to be meeting some of Grahams needs without any problems ! Anna thought angrily. She knew she couldnt discuss Christine rationally, not with the scene in the library so fresh in her memory.

"I dont know what Im saying any longer," Anna said wearily. "I think I just need to get some rest. Im going to say goodnight to Graham and head upstairs."

She found Graham and Christine just rising from the table upon her return. Before she could say her goodnights, Christine spoke, seemingly oblivious to Annas presence.

"Why dont you play something for me, darling?" she asked, grasping Grahams hand.

Graham could have been carved from marble, she was so still. Slowly, she disengaged Christines fingers from hers, moving Christines hand to the crook of her arm. When she spoke, her voice was carefully neutral. "I think not. I need to work."

"Surely youre not going to work tonight!!" Christine protested, her cheeks flushed with ire.

"Yes," Graham replied with finality.

For an instant Anna thought Christine was about to argue, but the other woman quickly relented.

"All right, if you must. But do promise me youll breakfast with me!"

Graham nodded. "Of course. Now let me show you to your room." As she led Christine from the room, she said softly, "Goodnight, Anna."

**********

For Anna it was anything but a good night. She tried to read, but she couldnt concentrate. She dozed off in her chair, only to be awakened by a noise in the hall. She knew Grahams step by now. The person passing by her door toward the master suite was not Graham Yardley.

There was no doubt, of course, about what she had witnessed earlier in the library. It was clear from what Helen had said and from what she herself had witnessed, that Graham and Christine had been lovers before their accident. It seemed apparent that they were about to resume that relationship now. Graham obviously had never stopped loving Christinethat was the real reason she had secluded herself for so many long and lonely years.

Anna wasnt disturbed by the physical nature of their relationship, but she was stunned by her own response to that kiss. She couldnt bear to think of Graham making love to Christine. That reaction was something she had no reference for, and she was at a loss as to how to cope. She told herself she should be happy that Graham had a chance at happiness, but what she felt instead was a deep sense of loss. Annas emotions were in turmoil. One thing she knew for certainshe could not face them together in the morning!

After a fitful few hours of tossing and turning, she rose just before dawn, dressed by the last of the moonlight, and went out for a walk. Unconsciously she followed the path Graham took each morning down the steep slope to the edge of the cliff. She stood where she had seen Graham stand. Anna closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it was that drew Graham to this lonely precipice. After a moment, she thought she knew. Waves crashed below with a deafening roar, sending needles of spray hundreds of feet up the cliff. The air was so sharp it stung her skin. The wind blew harder here, fresh from over the water, carrying the rich scent of sea life. It was much colder there as well. This would be the first place at Yardley where the morning sun would fall. Condensed in this one spot, in the dark just before dawn, ones senses were so assaulted, you did not need to see to know the essence of the world around you. For a brief instant each day, on the edge of this cliff, Graham Yardley was not blind.

Anna leaned against the crumbling stone wall that rimmed the cliff and cried. She cried for Graham, for all she had been, and all she had lost. She cried for herself, because she loved her, and would never know her. She cried for the years she had spent not knowing herself, only to discover too late what form her love truly took. As she cried the harsh wind dried her tears. When the first faint wisps of summer sunlight flickered across her cheeks, she opened her eyes to a day that dawned clearer, and lonelier, than any she had ever known. She sat on a worn weathered bench to watch the sunrise, and thats where Graham found her.

"Anna?" came the deep voice she could never mistake for another's.

Anna looked up to find Graham beside her, in the same clothes she had worn to dinner, rumpled and exhausted.