“Good, good. Ah, I see we are all here. You can bow the class in whenever you are ready.”

Sean followed her teachers gaze, and the breath stopped in her chest. Drew Clark stood at the door. Sean could only stare, unwilling to believe her eyes.

“There is a black belt waiting, Sean,” Master Cho chided gently.

Somehow, Sean found her voice. “Face the door!”

Immediately, the entire class turned as one to face Drew.

” Chariot !” The snap of hands to sides was like thunder in her ears.

” Kung ye !”

She bowed as did everyone in the class, but her eyes never left Drew’s face. Drew returned the bow, her eyes on Sean.

On wooden legs Sean moved to the front of the room. Master Cho stood to her left, Master Clark stood to her right, with Sabum Roma on her far side. Sean was acutely aware of the tall, militarily erect form beside her. The air seemed charged, electrified.

“Line up,” she called, and the class fell in to formation behind them. The black belts and Sean turned to face the golden tiger emblem on the front wall.

The senior students began the litany Sean had repeated countless times.

” Tenets of Tae Kwon Do”

“Integrity.”

“Perseverance.”

Sean knew she was repeating each word, but she couldn’t hear her own voice over the blood rushing in her head. When at last the bowing-in ceremony was over, Master Cho took her seat at the front corner of the room, her favorite spot to watch each student.

Chris Roma and Drew Clark joined the class at the head of the first row of students.

Sean’s mind was completely blank. She put her hands behind her back to hide the trembling. She called the class to attention and twelve bodies moved, fists outstretched, legs spread, eyes on her. All she could see was Drew, as she had remembered her as she lay struggling for sleep, so many lonely nights. Blond hair silvered with grey, piercing blue eyes, tense, waiting, controlled body. Exquisite in her power.

The passing seconds seemed to Sean like hours, and then Drew nodded imperceptibly, her face softening for a brief instant. Sean found her voice.

“Left front stance,” she called.

As the class stepped sharply, breath exploding from them, Sean caught the spirit of the women before her. Women willing to do more than they ever dreamed physically possible, willing to return night after night, bruised, aching, tired, to begin again, pushing themselves a little further along their own paths, for their own private reasons. They were united in their willingness to pay with their sweat and their humility for the chance to do battle with life on their own terms.

Sean asked them to display their skills to their teacher, unconsciously guiding them from one technique to the next in a choreographed pattern of flashing hands and arching legs.

Thirty minutes later, when she called a halt, their bodies were soaked with sweat, their chests heaving. But they looked at her with faces filled with pride. They knew they had done well. She bowed to them, a symbol of her deep respect for their effort. Then she turned to Master Cho and bowed to her. Janet Cho stood and returned her bow.

“Well done, Sean,” she said simply.

“Line up for forms,” their teacher said. “Master Clark, you have Sean, please.”

Drew bowed. “Yes, Master Cho.”

She and Sean moved to the front corner of the room.

“Your highest form, please, Sean,” came the rich voice Sean remembered.

“Yes, ma’am,” she replied with effort.

Sean faced Drew, searching desperately for composure. She steepled her hands in front of her face and took a deep breath. She willed herself to listen to her breath flowing easily, unbroken, from deep in her body, and slowly, her mind and body fused.

Drew watched the transformation with the same amazement she had felt the first night she saw Sean, six months before. The subtle melding of mind, body and spirit produced a nearly visible aura of calm focus. She had never seen anyone except Janet Cho do that, and Janet Cho was a master. This was a strength, an inner harmony that Sean brought with her to this dojang . She had honed it here perhaps, but it sprang from the essence of her. This was the power that had drawn Drew to her, and the beauty she had missed each day she had been gone.

When she finished, Sean closed her eyes for a moment, then bowed to Drew.

Drew approached slowly, choosing her words carefully. “The spirit of the form is flawless, Sean, and something some of us never master. The timing of your back sidekick, however, needs work. Watch me. You have just blocked a face punch from your first attacker, Sean here” she punctuated her words with a knife hand block that could easily break an arm. “But you hear a sound behind you. There is another man he has a knife. Now you pivot, your leg up, your knee high, and as you come around, he is there, but your leg extends fully at the moment you complete your turn. Not after your turn, because by then, he is upon you.”

As she spoke, she moved, agile and fluid, coiled like an animal, and then her leg drove outward and upward, easily high enough to crush a mans skull.

“Do you understand? It is not enough to be able to perform each movement in the form. There must be purpose to the movements sometimes a deadly purpose. Because the stakes might be your life.”

Each word seared Sean’s brain with the passion behind it. She understood in that instant that Drew was completely and totally committed to preventing whatever had happened to her from happening to another woman. And Sean had no doubt that Drew spoke from experience. She had just relived part of it before Sean’s eyes, whether she was aware of it or not.

“I understand, ma’am.”

“Do you?” Drew asked quietly.

“Yes,” Sean answered firmly.

Sean gathered her gear hesitantly, not sure what to do. She wanted to speak to Drew, but decorum, as well as personal uncertainty, held her back. Was Drew back to stay? Did she even want to tell Sean?

Finally, yielding to her need, ignoring her qualms, she approached Drew, who had removed her jacket and was folding it neatly in preparation for stowing it away.

“Are you back to stay?” she asked quietly.

Drew did not look up. “Yes.”

“I’m glad,” she replied. She began to turn away.

Drew straightened suddenly. “Sean, I…” When she met Sean’s eyes, she hesitated. Struggling, she finally said less than she wanted to. “There’s an Aikido demonstration in Bryn Mawr Saturday morning. Would you like to go?”

“Yes,” Sean answered immediately.

“Ill pick you up? It will be easier, driving?”

“Yes,” Sean responded, refusing to think about anything except what her heart demanded.

Sean found Susan in the TV room, engrossed in a Batman rerun. She sagged into a chair and opened a coke. By unspoken agreement, they had kept no alcohol in the house for the last three months.

“Good class?” Susan asked, her eyes riveted to the screen.

“Uh-huh,” Sean said, curiously unanimated. “Drew’s back.”

Susan sat up suddenly. “Did you talk to her?”

“Not much. She asked me to go to a martial arts exhibition this weekend.”

“Like a date?” Susan exclaimed.

Sean shrugged. “I have no idea. I’m completely in the dark.”

“How do you feel?”

“Numb. I cant believe she’s here I’m afraid there wont be anything between us.”

“Are you still in love with her?”

“My heart nearly stopped beating when she walked in the room. I wanted to throw myself at her. Yes, I’m still in love with her.”

“Are you sure you should see her? You’ve been hurting so much, Sean.”

“I have to know where we stand, Suse. I just cant go on without knowing.”

“I wish I could make everything all right for you, Sean. I cant stand seeing you so sad.”

Sean smiled. “Right back at you, sister.”

Susan smiled a small tremulous smile. “Ellen called.”

“How was that?” Sean asked carefully.

“I cried when I heard her voice.”

“Oh, Suse,” Sean cried.

“She wants to talk. I said yes.”

“Good,” Sean said in relief. “I know she loves you, Suse. Give each other a chance.”

“I’m so scared.”

Sean hugged her close. “I know, Sweetie, I know,” she murmured, thinking they both had good reason to be frightened.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Susan pulled the door open and came face to face with Drew, who was just reaching for the bell. Susan jumped in surprise, giving a little yelp.

“Sorry,” Drew said, feeling awkward. She wondered how much Sean had shared with her sister about their brief encounter, and then realized probably all of it. That might account for the hard stare Susan was directing at her now.

Despite their exact physical resemblance, Drew had no difficulty telling Susan and Sean apart, even at a distance. Where Sean radiated stillness and deep quietude, the air around Susan was charged. Right now she looked like a thundercloud.

“I’ve come to pick Sean up. Could you tell her?”

“Why don’t you come in?” Susan said, trying to be gracious.

“Thanks,” Drew said. Susan continued to stare at her. Drew accepted the searching gaze, waiting.

“Damn you, Drew,” Susan finally whispered. “You hurt her so much.”

Drew paled and looked down briefly. When she raised her eyes, Susan saw the pain that was a reflection of the hurt in her sisters eyes. She was shocked by it. She accepted that whatever had forced Drew away, it hadn’t been a lack of feeling for her sister.

Susan shook her head. “Women are such fools,” she muttered, including herself in the statement. She touched Drew’s arm lightly. “She’s in the kitchen. Why don’t you go on back.”

Aware of the gesture of truce in Susan’s touch, Drew sighed, “Thanks, Susan.”

Sean heard footsteps approaching and assumed Susan had forgotten something again. She finished pouring her coffee, calling, “What did you lose this time?”

She turned to find Drew leaning against the doorway, watching her. Sean just stared helplessly. Drew looked lean and taut in her tight black jeans and denim shirt. The sight of her alone was enough to bring heat to Sean’s depths, but it was the look of undisguised desire in Drew’s face that threatened to overpower her. She leaned back on trembling knees against the counter.

“I’m not going to be able to stand up if you keep looking at me like that,” Sean whispered.

With a groan almost a growl, Drew moved, and Sean was in her arms. Drew’s mouth was on hers, possessing her; Drew’s hands roamed her body, claiming her. Sean cleaved to her, pulling her closer. When Drew at last released her, Sean was gasping. She dropped her head against Drew’s shoulder.

“I couldn’t stay away,” Drew rasped, kissing the wisps of dark curls on Sean’s brow. “You were all I could think about I had to see you again.”

Sean heard the desperation in Drew’s voice, and she knew that Drew had not returned without reservations. There was resistance, too, in the arms that held her, and for now, Sean accepted it. Drew was here, it was a start.

Sean tightened her hold, relishing the tight fit of Drew’s thigh between hers, the curve of Drew’s breasts against her, the answering surge of hips. Drew rewarded her with another deep groan, bringing her hands to Sean’s face. Tenderly she cupped Sean’s jaw, turning her face for her kiss.

“How important is this Aikido thing?” Sean murmured, running her hands over Drew’s shoulders toward her breasts.

“Pretty important,” Drew muttered, her lips moving downward to claim a nipple through the fabric of Sean’s T-shirt. She bit gently before attempting to continue. “I’m one of the guest demonstrators.” She insinuated one hand between their bodies, pressing Sean’s abdomen, moving lower.

Sean grasped the hand that explored her, nearly sobbing. “Stop! Anymore and I wont be able to stop please Drew”

Drew moaned, her face buried in Sean’s hair. “I want you so much,” she whispered.

Sean took a deep breath, struggling to clear her head and control her raging senses. “Damn you, Drew! Your timing is terrible!” she laughed shakily.

“I know. Ill make it up to you,” Drew said, meaning more than just this interruption.

Sean shook her head. “Nothing to make up for, Drew. Some things just cant be helped so we learn to live with them. We have time.”

Drew searched the face softened by passion and felt welcomed. There were promises there, promises she was afraid to hear or to make. She had been managing moment to moment for so long that the concept of a future was foreign to her. But when she looked at Sean a tiny flicker of hope stirred. With reluctant effort she pulled back from Sean, saying, “Wed better go, I’m not sure how long I can keep from touching you.”