Charles was so delighted that he knighted the Mayor and the Recorder on the spot and when this pleasant ceremony was over, the merchants of the city crowded round to kiss the King’s hand.

My two Charleses mounted the horses which had been presented to them and with the children I stepped into the coach and we drove down to the Guildhall.

I had not been so happy for a long time as I was when I rode through those streets under the fluttering banners and the strips of cloth of gold which they had put up to welcome us.

My husband and son looked so noble on their magnificent horses. I wondered how any could turn against them for the sake of those ugly roundheaded creatures with their black clothes and miserable faces.

There was a sumptuous banquet for us at the Guildhall and the city dignitaries had brought out the gold plate which they only did on the most important occasions.

What a welcome! It showed the mood of the people. We had only had to sacrifice Strafford—which I knew still worried Charles—and get rid of my mother, who had been one of the main causes of our unpopularity. It was a pity that she had ever come. Well, she had gone now. She would be in Antwerp. I hoped she was not making trouble there.

All was going to be well. We must be strong. We must stand firm. I would talk to Charles about that. Dear good man that he was, he was too lenient, too ready to believe the best of everyone.

At last we arrived at Whitehall, tired but jubilant.

All was going to be well in the end.

I talked to Charles that night when we were alone. He had ideas. He was going to dismiss the guards which the Parliament had set up in Westminster to look after the Houses of Parliament.

“Their guards will go,” he said. “Mine will be there. I know you think I give way too easily, but I have not been idle. There are men loyal to me in the kingdom and they have their own trained bands. They shall guard the Houses of Parliament.”

I clasped my hands in pleasure. “That is excellent,” I said.

“Of course,” went on Charles, “they won’t like it. Men like Pym will have their suspicions.”

“Let them,” I cried. “We’ll make sure that our guards are loyal.”

“I wish that I could arrest certain members of the Parliament. They should be impeached for their disloyalty to the crown.”

“Why not?” I asked excitedly.

“I am unsure,” he answered.

“Which would you arrest? Pym for sure, I would say.”

“Certainly Pym; Hampden is another. Then there are Holles, Strode, Haselrig…. They are the ones I most distrust. If we could berid of them we might make some headway in Parliament.”

“You must arrest them.”

“I will think of it.”

“Soon,” I whispered.

Then he lifted me in his arms and said it was time we went to bed.

I could not sleep much. I was thinking of the wonderful reception which the city of London had given us. It was often said that if London was with you, the whole country would be.

It was changing. Perhaps the panic had been unnecessary and we had feared too much, become too nervous, let ourselves be led by fear.

I must keep Charles to his resolution. He would achieve much if he could take those men by surprise. If he could ride into the House of Commons with guards to arrest them, they could be put into prison before they realized what was happening; and once they were there it should not be difficult to make the people see that they were a menace to peace.

He must do it. He must.

I knew he would waver. He was always tormented by his fear that he might not be doing what was right. This was right…absolutely right. What had they done to dear good noble Strafford? Murder. Judicial murder if they liked, but murder nevertheless. They should all go to the block for that alone.

I could scarcely wait for morning.

Charles was thoughtful. He was pondering on the enormity of what he proposed to do. It was coming into the open, he said. So far, although it had been in people’s minds, no one had mentioned yet that such divided opinion in the country was heading toward civil war. That was a prospect which should make anyone who wished the country well pause and think.

Now Charles was pausing and thinking.

I urged him; I persuaded him; I hinted that to let such an opportunity pass was cowardice as well as folly. If he did not grasp this chance and use it to advantage he could not blame anyone but himself if he had to fight for his kingdom.

He looked at me with horror and I cried out: “Yes, I keep my eyes and ears open. I keep myself alert…for you. I cannot stand by and see you lose your kingdom. Dearest Charles, you must act…now. This is the time. Let this go and you may not have another opportunity.”

At last he made his decision. He knew that he would not be able to face me if he did not make the attempt.

He was ready. He was going to do it. I embraced him feverishly. “I am so proud of you, my King,” I said. “Everything is going to change now. This is the turning point.”

He whispered to me. “I will go now. If one hour passes without your receiving ill news of me, you will see me when I return master of my kingdom.”

I bade him farewell. “My heart goes with you,” I said.

“I will be back,” he told me. “Give me one hour.”

I don’t think I have ever known an hour take so long to pass. I could not stop myself glancing at my watch every few minutes. Lucy was sitting with me. “You are restless this morning, Madam,” she said.

“No…no…Lucy. Not restless.”

“Well, I declare this is the third time you have looked to see the time…and all in the last five minutes.”

“Oh…you are mistaken,” I said, and she smiled and spoke of other things.

When I remember that morning, I am so ashamed. I curse my folly, my stupidity…my blindness. Why could I not see what was right under my nose? The burden of guilt becomes intolerable when I look back.

At last the hour was over. Now! I thought. It is done. At this moment those men are under arrest. Everyone is going to see that the King is indeed the King. He will brook no interference from a set of miserable sly-faced scheming Puritans.

I jumped up. I could contain myself no longer. Lucy was beside me. “Something ails you, I know. It has been worrying you this last hour.”

“I am not worried…not anymore,” I cried. “It is time for rejoicing. I have every reason to hope that the King is now master of his realm. Pym and his confederates will have been arrested by now.”

Lucy stared at me. “Is that so?” she said. “Has the King gone to the House of Commons to arrest them?”

“He has indeed.”

“Then there is every reason to congratulate the King. I am going to bring a little wine so that we can drink a toast to him.”

“Do that, Lucy,” I said.

She ran out of the room. I was astonished that she did not return. But I was too excited to bother very much. I went to the window and stood there waiting.

I waited for a long time.

The King eventually returned…dejected. Then I heard the terrible news.

The arrests had not taken place. Pym and his friends had been warned of what was about to happen and had fled, so that when the King with his guards entered the House of Commons, they had already left.

Charles was desolate. It seemed that fate was against us. Who could have warned them? There had been so few of us who knew what was planned.

“There is a spy close to us,” I said.

“I fear so,” replied the King. He went on to tell me that he had been delayed when he was about to enter the House of Commons. “You know what it is like when I go to the Parliament. They are lying in wait for me. They all have some grievance, some petition to present. I must stay and listen to them. They are my subjects. I did not worry about the loss of time because I thought that only you and I shared the secret. So I was late going into the House. I believe they had left but a few minutes before.”

“But how…why…?”

“Someone knew and warned them.”

“But who could?”

He looked at me sadly. “You did not mention the matter?”

“Only to Lucy…and that after the hour had passed.”

“But Lucy Carlisle has become Pym’s mistress.”

“Oh…mon Dieu.” I felt sick with horror. “Lucy? Not Lucy. She is friendly with Pym. She finds out what she can from those devious Parliamentarians so that she can tell us, help us….”

“It may be,” said Charles somberly, “that she talks to you and passes on to them what they want to know.”

“You can’t mean that Lucy….”

“I was told that a messenger went to Pym. He came from her.”

“I will send for her immediately.”

I did so, but Lucy was not in the palace.

“What did you tell her?” asked the King.

“Nothing…until the hour was up. Then I asked her to rejoice with me because you were master of your realm for you had gone to arrest those troublemakers and the deed was now done.”

“Within an hour! It must have been a good half an hour later before I was able to get into the House. Time enough for her to warn Pym…which she did.”

I covered my face with my hands.

“Oh Charles,” I cried, “I have destroyed your plan! I, who would give my life for you, have destroyed you.”

But he wouldn’t hear of it. He tried to comfort me. He told me it was unimportant. All that mattered was that I loved him. We would forget this disaster.

“But it was my fault. You may forgive me but I shall never forgive myself.”

He rocked me in his arms as though I were a baby and I marveled at this love for me and that he should care so deeply for one whose folly had dealt him such a blow.

What could I do to convince him of my love for him, to show my gratitude for his forgiveness of my folly? What could I ever do to show him how much I loved him?

I longed for an opportunity to die for his sake. But such opportunities do not come.

We did not at first realize how disastrously we—or rather I—had mismanaged that affair. The King’s intention was now known and our little flush of popularity was over. It seemed that everyone was turning against us. No, that was not true. There were some faithful friends. Lord Digby, for one, suggested taking a company of his cavaliers and pursuing Pym and the rest, and when he had found them putting them under restraint. Perhaps that would have been the best thing to do. However, the King forbade it.

At least we were now shown who were our true friends. I was bewildered and quite stunned by Lucy’s perfidy though when I looked back over the last years I can see that a wiser person than I might have guessed. Her friendship with Pym should have told me. How could I have been such a fool as to imagine that she was feigning that interest in him and his affairs for the sake of me! What hurt me more than Lucy’s unfaithfulness was the fact that I had been the one to foil Charles’s plans. Sometimes it seems to me that no one could have worked more indefatigably against him than I who loved him and would have died for him.

But as I said we sorted out the good friends from the false. Men like the Earl of Holland and the Earl of Essex made excuses to retire from Court and in my newly found wisdom I knew what that meant.

We became really alarmed when the mobs started to roam the streets. They carried placards on which was written the one word: Liberty. I did not know what they meant by that. Did they think they would have greater liberty under the stern Parliamentarians’ Puritan rule than they did under that of the King?

My mother was gone; the Pope’s envoy was gone. What did they want of us now?

Charles was afraid for me because it was against me that the might of their venom was turned. He thought it better for us to leave Whitehall and we prepared to go.

It was a terrible journey. We sat there in the gilded coach which had so recently carried us through cheering crowds and as we went, faces looked in at us…frightening faces, hating, leering, threatening…I knew not what.

How glad I was to leave Westminster behind and come to the green fields surrounding Hampton but the mansion itself, although always beautiful and a place I had especially loved, now held memories of a wild-eyed gypsy holding a mirror to our eyes.

When we entered it seemed dark and unwelcoming. No one came out to attend to the carriage. Our guards helped us to alight and the air struck cold as we entered. There were no fires to greet us and no apartments had been made ready.