Виктория Холт - Loyal in Love: Henrietta Maria, Queen of Charles I

But it was no use wasting time in expressing my fury against Essex. I had to think how I was going to escape, for escape I must. If they captured me and took me to London it would be the ultimate disaster. Charles would promise anything to free me.

I had to escape, and as I could not take my newborn daughter with me, I must, perforce, leave her behind.

I sent for Sir John Berkeley, who was the Governor of the city of Exeter and a tenant of Bedford House where I was living. I already had Lady Dalkeith with me, a woman of great integrity who, Charles and I had agreed, must be the one to look after our daughter. In this we proved right. I shall never forget what I owe to that woman.

Briefly I explained that for the King’s cause I had no alternative but to escape. The Roundheads were almost at our gates and their object was to capture me and take me to London, there to accuse me of treachery to the crown.

“This as you know would be such a blow to the King that he would do anything to save me, jeopardizing his own throne and losing it if need be. There is only one course open to me. I know you understand that.”

Sir John said he did indeed and would do anything I asked of him. Lady Dalkeith joined her loyal expressions to his and told me that she would defend my child with her life if need be.

I took her into my arms and we wept together. Sir John raised my hand to his lips and kissed it.

So fifteen days after the birth of my little Henriette I left her, desolate and heartbroken as I was, for I knew it was the only course to take.

I waited until night fell and then dressed as a servant and, with only two of my attendants and a confessor, I escaped from Bedford House.

We had arranged that others of my household who were determined to accompany us should leave the house at various times in disguises so that they should not be recognized. My faithful dwarf, Geoffrey Hudson, who had stepped out of a pie to comfort me in no small degree, had begged to be of the party and I could not refuse him. He knew of a wood near Plymouth in which there was an old hut, and he suggested that we should make this our meeting place and all make our way to it by different routes.

When dawn came we were only three miles from Exeter and it was clearly too dangerous to walk about in daylight, for there were so many soldiers about. We found a hut. It was tumbledown and filled with straw and litter and we hastened to take refuge in this when we heard the sound of horses’ hoofs. It was fortunate that we did for the horses belonged to a group of Roundhead soldiers who were on their way to join the forces who were gathering on the outskirts of Exeter.

Our dismay was great when we realized that the soldiers were coming straight to the hut and we were thankful for the litter underneath which we were able to hide ourselves.

When I heard the soldiers right outside, my heart seemed as if it would suffocate me and I had rarely been so frightened as when I heard the door creak. We all held our breath as a soldier stepped inside the hut and kicked some of the rubbish aside.

I prayed—something incoherent and silent—and on that occasion my prayers were answered for I heard the man shout: “Nothing in here but a load of rubbish.” Then the door creaked again and the soldier was no longer inside the hut.

We waited breathlessly, listening. The man must have been leaning against the wall of the hut. He was talking to another.

He said: “There is a reward of fifty thousand crowns for her head.”

I knew they were talking of mine.

“I’d like to be the one to carry that to London.”

“Who wouldn’t? Fifty thousand crowns, eh? A goodly sum and ridding the country of the Papist whore at the same time.”

It was difficult to curb my anger. I wanted to go out to them, to denounce them for the traitors they were. Traitors, liars, defamers of virtue and my religion. I restrained myself, thinking of Charles. I would endure anything for him, discomfort, insults, pain, hardship…anything for Charles.

It was some time before they passed on, but we did not emerge from the hut until darkness fell; then we sped on our way. We were fortunate after that and reached our rendezvous in the woodland cabin in safety. There I was rejoined by many of my faithful friends including Geoffrey Hudson, who had brought Mitte and another of my dogs with him, for he was certain that I should be unhappy without them.

How the good friends made up for the treacherous ones!

At Pendennis Castle Henry Jermyn was waiting for me with a suitable guard and when he saw how ill I was he immediately gave orders that I was to be carried on a litter for the rest of the journey to Falmouth. How thankful I was for his thoughtfulness! And what a relief it was to see a fleet of friendly Dutch vessels in the bay.

Before I went on board I wrote to Charles explaining why I had left the child behind. It was for his sake for if I had been captured by our enemies, as I was sure I should have been had I remained in Exeter, that would have been a great blow to our cause.

“I am hazarding my life that I may not incommode your affairs. Adieu, dear Heart. If I die believe that you will lose a person who has never been other than entirely yours and who, by her affection, has deserved that you should not forget her.”

I stood on deck, exhausted almost beyond endurance, but determined to remain there until I could no longer see the land where he was…as desolate and unhappy by this parting as I was.

Once again the sea proved that it was always my enemy. No sooner had I returned to my cabin for a much needed rest than I heard cries of alarm and Henry Jermyn came dashing in looking distraught.

“Pray don’t be alarmed,” he said, “but we have sighted three ships which are obviously pursuing us.”

“Enemies?” I asked.

“I fear so,” replied Henry. “I should stay here. We are equipped to fight them.”

“If we stop to fight we shall never escape,” I cried. “We must be free of English waters as soon as possible.”

“If we do not fight they could take us.”

“They shall not take me,” I cried vehemently. “I will die first. To take me would be disaster to the King’s cause…far greater than my death would be.”

Henry was aghast. “My dear lady,” he stammered, “you must not talk thus. Your death would be the greatest sorrow that could befall me.”

“Personal sorrows cannot be weighed against major calamities, dear friend,” I said. “Help me up.”

“Where are you going?”

“To see the Captain.”

I would not listen to his protests and tired as I was made my painful journey to the deck. The Captain looked amazed when he saw me; and by this time the enemy were drawing very close.

“Do not stop to return the fire,” I commanded. “Let out all sails. Make all speed ahead.”

“My lady, these ships are determined to take us.”

“They must never do that. When you think it impossible to escape, set fire to the powder. Blow us up. I must not fall into their hands.”

When they heard me, all those who were in attendance on me and who had crowded onto the deck began to cry out in alarm. The Captain looked startled but he was a man who would obey orders. I thought Henry was going to remonstrate with me so I said: “I shall go to my cabin and there await the outcome of this, and whether it is to be freedom or death I shall be ready.”

Then I left them and when I reached my cabin I began to have serious misgivings. It was all very well for me to die if I wished to, but what right had I to condemn others to the same fate?

“For Charles,” I said. “If I became a prisoner that would be the end for him. They would use me to subdue him. No, I must either live to serve him or I must die in the same cause.”

Suddenly I heard shots which were almost immediately followed by cries of: “Land!” It could not be France which was sighted. It must be the Channel Islands. So there was hope yet. If we could reach land, if the people would help me…. Just at that moment I heard a loud explosion and the ship seemed to leap in the air and then begin to shiver.

We are hit, I thought. All is lost.

The ship appeared to have stopped.

At any moment I was expecting the Captain to obey my orders. This must be the end.

I waited…and then because I could endure the suspense no longer I came out of my cabin. I saw Henry. He was on his way to me. He told me that the rigging had been hit.

“Are we sinking?” I asked.

“We are very close to the coast of Jersey and the Roundheads are moving away fast because a number of French ships have appeared and are bearing down toward us.”

“Praise be to God,” I cried. “Once again I am saved and all with me. Oh Henry, how cruel I was. Believe me, I regretted it as soon as I gave that order.”

Henry understood me well. He knew I was near hysteria and he was always calm and somewhat jocular at such times, which was the best way to soothe me.

“Come up with me,” he said. “See the Captain. I think he has decided to make for Dieppe.”

It was like a miracle, but my old enemy the sea had not done with me yet. Even as we were in sight of Dieppe a violent gale arose. Henry advised me to return to my cabin and this I did and as I lay listening to the tempest all about us I wondered if Fate was playing another trick on me, making me believe that I had escaped the Roundhead ships by a miracle, only to become a victim of the storm.

But after an hour or so of terror and with the knowledge that my escort had been scattered and my frail ship was battling alone, we were at length thrown up on a rocky coast.

I stared at the land before me. France! The land of my birth.

“A fine way to come visiting it,” I said to Henry.

“You will be an honored visitor,” he assured me. “Don’t forget you are the daughter of France’s greatest King.”

I could have wept with emotion. I felt so sick and ill, so anxious about what might be happening to Charles; but there was a certain lifting of my spirits because I was at last in France.

A little boat took me ashore and I stood there staring up at those rocks. I wanted to feel the soil. I wanted to bend down and kiss it but we could not stay on the narrow strip of sand. We had to climb the rocks. On hands and knees I crawled. I was bruised and my hands were bleeding; my hair hung about my face and my gown was torn. I climbed to the top of the cliffs and there before me lay the tiny Breton fishing village.

Dogs were barking; fisher folk were running out of their houses, carrying hatchets and scythes, believing us to be marauding pirates.

“Hold!” I cried. “We are not pirates. We have not come to do you harm. I am the Queen of England, the daughter of your own great Henri IV. I need help….”

They approached cautiously. But I had come to the end of my endurance. Henry Jermyn was there to catch me in his arms as I fell.

When I recovered consciousness I was lying in a small room and Henry was at my bedside. I struggled up, feeling sick and dizzy.

Henry said: “It is all right. The people here know who you are and will do everything within their power to help you.”

“Oh, Henry,” I cried weakly, “what should I do without you.”

“No need to wonder,” he said, “because while there is life in my body I shall be here to serve you.”

I was weeping with emotion. I felt so helpless and it seemed that fate was determined to heap one sorrow upon me after another.

“What now, Henry?” I asked.

He was thoughtful. Then he said: “The Queen of France has shown herself to be a good friend. I think I should go to her with all speed and tell her that you are here in dire need of help. That should be the first move.”

“I shall feel very uneasy without you.”

“You will be surrounded by good friends. You don’t have to fear the Roundheads here. With your permission I will leave first thing in the morning. You need doctors first, I think. You have suffered a terrible ordeal and following so close on the birth of your daughter it has put a great strain on your endurance.”

I saw that he was right and I told him that much as I regretted to lose his company for the short time I hoped it would be, he must go.

He left the next day and I was deeply moved when visitors began to arrive at the tiny thatched cottage to see me. The gentry, from miles round, rode into that little fishing village with food and clothing, horses and carriages.