Ким Карр - Mended

Amy glances at me. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll be back. I’m going to run up and see why my brother isn’t down here yet.”

She giggles. “Have fun with that.” I just shake my head. I know why he’s not down here, and I’m not really going to his room. I promised myself that if he did this for me—made the decision to help us out—I’d cut him some slack.

I don’t know where I’m going, but my anger toward that arrogant asshole has already taken hold. She might not be mine, but that doesn’t mean anything right now. I follow their path through the grotto and try to talk myself down, because I know where this is leading. With my fists balling at my sides, I can hardly control myself. When I turn the corner at a rapid pace, her stormy blue eyes slam into mine. For the briefest of moments, I stop in my tracks. My stomach lurches at the sight of what he did. There she is—my angel—with blood dripping from her lip and tears streaming down her face.

I rush over to her. “Ivy—” I whisper, my voice catching on her name. I take her face in my hands. Pulling my T-shirt up, I wipe the blood from her lip and blot the tears from her cheeks. “Are you all right?” I ask finally, filling the silence of the last twelve years between us.

For a few moments she lets me take care of her—like she used to. Then she blinks as if remembering that this is not then. She presses her lips together, but her scrutiny doesn’t waver from me as she pushes me back. I reach to help her, but she shrugs my hand away. “I don’t need your help,” she says forcefully. Her voice getting higher with every word, she unleashes what I can only assume to be years of pent-up anger at me. “I can take care of myself.”

I don’t blink. “Did he hit you? Does he hit you?”

She shakes her head, sadness mingling with determination on her face. “That’s none of your business. Leave it alone, Xander. I mean it.”

I reach for her face, my fingers brushing her cheek. “Tell me the truth. Does he hit you?”

“No, he doesn’t. Do you think I’d be with someone who does? Men with loose fists and men who cheat—they’re grown from the same mold and they can both go fuck themselves.”

She stares at me for the longest time and without another word she storms away—cold, guarded, and angry. The girl I knew with the hard exterior, but so fragile and sensitive, appears to be gone. Now she’s all hard edges, and she’s pissed as hell—at that asshole, and at me.

Listening to the beat, I can feel the strum of each chord in my chest, and my ears ring and my heart pounds as the green, yellow, and red fluorescent lights illuminate the stage and the darkness cascades above us. A feeling of relief takes hold of me. They’re almost done—they did it. My throat might be dry, and I’m out of breath from yelling, but I don’t care. Tonight they did it old-school and they killed it. No opening act, no fire, no smoke, no extras—just the Wilde Ones onstage at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater.

River’s certainly not planning on jumping back into doing another nine months in the studio, but my brother is in top form right now as he sings the last song of the night. In an “I’m in love croon,” with his six-string standing in for the synths and bludgeoning rhythms of the produced track, River gives “Once in a Lifetime” all he has. His raspy, soulful tone stands out as he sings the ballad acoustic style to his wife. The unplugged version is making the fans go crazy. Cheers and yells come from behind me and I feel like I’m part of the audience tonight.

I’m not backstage like I usually am. Instead I’m standing with Dahlia in the VIP section. She and River are staring straight at each other. Their connection seems to be pulling out all he has. And I have to say, her good mood has definitely rubbed off on me. Despite the events of the last two days, I’m having the best time I’ve had since the tour began. It’s just her and me and a select dozen or so other people in the roped-off orchestra section, and it’s been a blast. My cousin Jagger and his girl, Aerie, are here somewhere. Jagger arrived in town after I hit the road, so I never got to catch up with him. But I’ve talked to him on the phone a number of times and finally got to meet him before the show. So strange having a cousin you’ve never met, but when you live so many miles apart for most of your lives, I guess it happens. Jagger and Aerie together, though—that still makes me laugh. She’s so uptight and he, well, I don’t know him that well, but I’d say he’s anything but. He seems to be a lot like River. I invited them to join us up here, but Aerie was in full-on work mode and wanted to be out in the crowd, interviewing people. She said she’d catch up with us after the show. Unfortunately, my mother and stepfather, Jack, are in Paris, so they couldn’t be here. And my sister, Bell, had to work. She just recently started her own event-planning business in addition to keeping her day job, so catching up with her lately has been hard. But she seems to have found her place in this world. She’s happier and more put together.

Dahlia nudges me. “Hey, you watching? You seem someplace else.”

The show ends with crazed fans screaming at the top of their lungs for an encore. “More! We want more! Give us more!”

I give her a look as if to say, “Where else would I be?” but her attention is riveted on the stage again at the sound of my brother’s voice. River smiles at the crowd and catches us in his vision as he slips the microphone out of the stand. “More? You want more?”

Their response comes in unison. “Yes!”

He hits the edge of the stage and drags his fingertips along Dahlia’s outstretched hands. “I think we can do that.” He finds the microphone stand again and clips it in place.

Dahlia leans over to me. “I really have to use the restroom. I don’t think I can wait.”

I laugh and nod my head. “Come on. I’ll take you backstage now.” It’s my job to be her personal bodyguard tonight, and actually I don’t mind it. It obviously puts my brother at ease, and my sister-in-law and I get along really well now, after a bumpy start. Turns out she is exactly four months pregnant. She and River have decided not to find out the sex of the baby, but she showed me an ultrasound picture and the baby was sucking his thumb. I have to believe it’s a boy, for River’s sake, because another girl in his life to watch over just might push him over the edge. The thought makes me laugh, though.

I’m standing at the perimeter of the stage, watching the end of the spectacular show, when I feel a tap on my shoulder and an unfamiliar voice asks, “Are you Xander?”

Without turning around, I give a cursory nod, not sure why she’s asking until she says, “There’s a woman in the bathroom who has asked me to tell you to get her husband and come right away.”

I whirl around and see the woman in uniform. “What’s wrong with her?”

“She didn’t say. I’m sorry. I have to get back to work.” The woman then turns and walks away, pushing her cleaning cart in front of her as she goes.

I look out onstage and River glances over, looking for Dahlia, I’m sure. I slice my finger across my neck, giving him the “cut it now” signal, and his smile instantly fades. His panicked voice trembles over the mic.

“Thanks, everyone!” He darts toward me. His eyes search mine on the way, but I don’t wait for him to cross the stage.

Heading toward the bathroom, I knock and open the door. “Dahlia?”

River pushes past me into the long rectangular room. “Dahlia, what’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure,” she cries as she swings one of the stall doors open. He rushes in and disappears behind it.

“Xander, call nine-one-one,” he yells.

“No, I don’t think I need an ambulance. It seems to have stopped. Let’s call my doctor first,” Dahlia nervously tells River.

His breath coming fast and hard, he does as she asks. I can’t quite make out what he’s saying because the toilet is flushing over and over. My pulse pounds louder than the sound of the running water as I wait to see what the hell is the matter. When I see his feet moving, I yell, “What’s going on?”

There’s fumbling behind the door, and then it opens and he carries her out. In a shaky voice he says, “We need to take her to the hospital. She’s bleeding. Take my keys and get the car.”

* * *

I’m sitting in the family care area waiting to hear how Dahlia and the baby are doing. My thoughts are drifting to seeing Ivy after so many years and how things could have been so different. When you believe a lie for so long . . . does it become the truth?

Behind my closed lids flashes a memory from twelve years ago. Looking back on it now, I think we were more like adults and less like sex-crazed teenagers. We had crossed the line from lust to love, from adolescent to adult. When we left my grandparents’ place that last day we spent there before graduation, the fractured afternoon light peeked through the clouds and I drove her home. I pulled over a good distance from where she lived. Dropping her off on the corner was something I really hated. But I understood. I had my own home issues, so who was I to talk? I’d had to bring my brother home and pick up my sister every day since my mother went back to work because my drunk of a dad couldn’t get a job. I couldn’t wait for the fall when Ivy and I would head to the University of Chicago together. Ivy got a free ride, my grandparents were paying for me, and we both got to get the hell out of LA.

As soon as I put the car in PARK, she bolted out. She didn’t even wait for me to open her door, which was a habit she knew I really hated, but I didn’t say anything. She leaned against the large black stripe of the hood as I approached her. Some kids were sitting on their stoops playing games, others were yelling and screaming, but I blocked all of that out as I caged her with my arms on either side of her and rested my forehead against hers. “I don’t think I’ll be able to meet you after school again at all the rest of the week. Tomorrow I have to pick up my cap and gown, Thursday is graduation rehearsal, and Friday is some kind of senior dinner.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I know you’re busy. I can’t believe our ceremonies are both on Saturday. At least my mom said I could go to dinner with you and your family after graduation.”

Leaning into her, I circled my arms around her waist and kissed her lightly. “It’ll be our last day together before our summer trips, so I’ll pick you up as early as possible. Make sure your mom thinks you’re sleeping at Jody’s house.”

She kissed me and I leaned back to look at her. Her blond hair fell past her shoulders and she was smiling shyly at me. “It’s already arranged,” she said, flushing. A nervousness that I’d seen many times presented itself in her expression.

“What’s the matter, gorgeous?”

She broke away and in the quietest voice said, “I’m really going to miss you this summer.”

“I’m going to miss you, too. But, hey, we talked about this. It won’t be that long. The summer will be over before you know it and then we’ll be together.” I hugged her tightly, reassuring her.

“I know you’re right,” she whispered, and the sadness in her eyes broke my heart.

I had tried my best to get my mother to cancel or at least shorten my trip to my aunt’s. Since she called it my graduation present, I really thought I should have gotten to choose if I wanted to go or at least for how long. She hadn’t said I couldn’t, but she hadn’t said I could, either. I knew I would continue to work on her.

I kissed Ivy one last time and trapped her fingers in mine before she twisted away and broke the connection. She walked backward for a beat, then turned around and sashayed down the sidewalk toward her apartment building.

“I’ll call you tonight, sexy thing,” I yelled to her.

She turned, gave me one last heart-stopping smile, and blew me a kiss. She wouldn’t even let me walk her to her apartment building because she was afraid her mother would see her with me when she was supposed to be studying. So I waited on the corner until she reached her door. As soon as she did, she came rushing back. She threw her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear, “I hope you can call me because if you can I’ll practice what we’ve talked about.”

I stepped back and looked at her with what I knew was a sly, wicked grin. She was flushed on every exposed body part. “Really . . . ?” I asked.

“Yes,” she mouthed, her cheeks changing color from pink to red with that one unspoken word.