‘Now Dandy, it’s nothing,’ I said swiftly. ‘It’s probably as you say – that she was trying to tease me, to put me in my place. She doesn’t know that none of us court Jack. That none of us work like that. I’m back sleeping in the stables tonight. I’ll tell her then.’

Dandy tossed her thick black hair and looked mulish. ‘I’d rather we just told Robert that she was chasing Jack and let her go back to wherever she came from,’ she said unkindly. ‘I don’t like having her in my room. I don’t like her hanging on Jack. I saw him first. He saw me. He’s had eyes for me from that first day, Merry. We only did nothing to please his da. You know that.’

I thought a moment. I remembered Jack’s hot eyes upon me, and how he had asked me if I dreamed of him. I thought of him watching me as I swam and being angered by my indifference.

‘He’s a coquette as bad as her,’ I said without sympathy. ‘He’d go with any girl who flattered his vanity, and he’d be challenged by any girl who kept him at a distance. I’d not be surprised to see him take up with her.’

Dandy grabbed my arm. ‘I mean this, Merry,’ she said rapidly. ‘I’ve held off from him because I wanted to see how the land lay with his da, and it’s been so different here. I wanted to see if there was any chance of this damned future that Robert plans for him. But I wanted him when I first saw him. And I want him still.’

I held her away from me and looked at her carefully. I knew Dandy, I had watched and loved her as close as a mother, as intently as a lover. I knew she was only speaking half the truth. The part which she would not admit was her vanity and her pride. She could not stand the thought that Jack might go into the hay loft with the pretty fair-headed pauper when he had obeyed his father and not laid a finger on Dandy for month after tempting month. Dandy had been the prettiest girl any of us had ever seen for so long, that the thought of coming second best was enough to overset her.

‘Oh come on, Dandy,’ I said reasonably. ‘I know you fancy him. He’s a nice enough young lad. Vain as a monkey, but nice enough. But you know how Robert is about him; he looks very high for him. There’s no chance for anything more for you than a kiss and a romp. You could do better than that. When you’re Mamselle Dandy you’ll meet better men than Jack could ever be. It’s as Robert says: if you keep your head then you could marry well. That’s better than a roll in the hay with a lad whose father could ruin you if he caught you.’

For a moment she looked uncertain, but then we heard the trapdoor to the upstairs room at the stables slam and Dandy’s eyes blazed.

‘The little whore!’ she said, and she tore herself out of my grip and raced towards the stables.

I tried to run after her but my ribs still hurt, and my shoulder. I followed on behind, and by the time I reached the stables Jack was tumbling down the stairs shrugging his jacket on. He gave me one of his naughty sideways grins.

‘Hey, Merry,’ he said. ‘Dandy’s thrown me out of your room, says she wants to change into her gown for dinner. I’ll see you later.’

‘What were you doing in my room, Jack?’ I asked him, curious for his answer.

He gave me a wink. ‘Nowt serious, Merry,’ he said.

‘Hasn’t your father warned you off Katie?’ I asked curiously.

Jack’s dark gaze twinkled. ‘Half of Warminster has had her,’ he said. ‘My da wouldn’t waste his breath. He knows I won’t let it affect my work. He knows she won’t get a belly on her. He knows it’s not loving. He don’t care.’

Jack beamed at me for a moment. ‘Are you jealous, Merry?’ he asked softly. ‘Did you think I was kissing the soft hairs on the back of her neck, and licking the hollow between her shoulder blades? Did you want that for yourself?’

I stepped backwards so that he could see my face clearly in the light of the horn lantern. I knew my face was calm, my eyes clear, unmoved.

‘No,’ I said. ‘I did not want that for myself. I will never want that. Not from you, not from any man. I wondered if you were man enough to go against your da’s word or if you would stay a virgin all your life to please him. Now I understand, you’ll only have your poke where he permits.’

Jack flushed brick-red with anger at that gibe.

‘I don’t admire your taste,’ I said loftily. ‘But don’t forget that your da only allowed her. He said you were not to have Dandy.’

Jack threw his hands up in impatience. ‘Dandy!’ he said. ‘She’s all you ever think of!’

‘Don’t you think of her?’ I demanded, quick as a hawk in training to a lure.

Jack shrugged. ‘Not much,’ he said lightly. ‘I can live without her.’

‘Good,’ I said, and I meant it. Robert Gower was the only man in the world who would feed and house Dandy and me while I was bruised and battered and unable to work and while Dandy had no skill she could sell on her own. We were as dependent on him as if we were his pauper servants. I knew now that Dandy desired Jack and I feared she would make a set for him. The only thing which stood between us and the frozen road out of Warminster was Jack’s respect for his father’s wishes.

‘Don’t forget your da said you were not to look at her,’ I insisted.

Jack shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes at the darkening night sky. ‘Merry, you carry on like some prioress. I don’t want your damned sister. I could do with a roll in the hay. Katie offered it for free. I’d do it with Katie, I wouldn’t touch Dandy with a ten-foot barge pole. All right?’

‘All right,’ I said at last.

I hoped to God it was.

11

I expected to find Katie with her shirt ripped and her face scratched. Poorhouse brat she might be, Warminster whore she might be, but I did not think she would exceed my sister in the art of dirty fighting. But when I climbed slowly up the stairs to the loft-bedroom they were sitting side by side brushing each other’s hair and giggling together.

‘He put his hand down the inside of my shirt!’ I heard Katie say. Dandy giggled delightedly. ‘I said to him: “I don’t know what you’re looking for down there, Jack!”’

Dandy rocked with laughter at this sally. ‘You never did!’ she said. ‘What did he do then?’

‘He took my hand and put it down his breeches!’ Katie said triumphantly.

‘And?’ Dandy prompted.

Katie’s sharp hungry little face grew avid. ‘He was hot,’ she said. ‘He was hard as a stallion to a mare.’

I was watching Dandy’s face and I saw a shadow of absolute envy pass across it. But she laughed merrily enough.

‘I’m sorry I came in and spoiled sport then!’ she said lightly. ‘Would you have done it with him, if I had not come in?’

‘Oh aye!’ Katie said at once. ‘I was hot for it too!’

She and Dandy fell into each other’s arms and rocked with laughter. Dandy’s eyes met mine across the fair head and her dark eyes were cold as ice.

‘I’m surprised he dares,’ she said. ‘When Merry and I joined the show his da told us plain that there was to be no courting.’

Katie’s smile was world-weary. ‘’Tis hardly courting,’ she said. ‘It’s just a bit of fun. You’d hardly call it courting. We’re neither of us new to it. And neither of us would speak of love. Mr Gower told me I was to mind my ways in the village. He didn’t say nothing about at home.’

‘But you don’t care for Jack?’ Dandy asked sharply.

Katie laughed lazily, put her hands to her head to pin up her tumbling blonde hair. ‘I cared enough a minute ago,’ she said lazily. ‘I’d have cared to do it with him then. But I don’t mind now. If I get needful I can sneak down to the Bush in the village. There’s a couple of lads down there I know well. They’ll meet me behind a hedge somewhere so Mr Gower don’t know. They’ll give me a penny as well.’

Dandy’s smile was as warm as ice on a bucket. ‘Would you refuse him then?’ she asked. ‘I’ve had my eye on him since last summer. His da said “no” and he hasn’t dared. But I’ve had my eye on him for my very own. Would you refuse him if he comes to you again? To oblige me, Katie?’

Katie threw back her lovely head and laughed aloud. ‘Nay!’ she said. ‘I shouldn’t have the heart! And I had my hand down inside his breeches, Dandy, and he felt real fine to me. I couldn’t find it in me to say “no”.’

‘I’d pay,’ Dandy said patiently. ‘I’d pay you more money than you’d ever think to earn in all your life.’

Katie sneered. ‘Got your pennies saved up have you, Dandy? Saved your pennies from your horseback riding?’

‘I’d pay you a guinea,’ Dandy said. She heard my gasp and she avoided my eyes. ‘I’d pay you a guinea if you promise not to have him. I’d pay you a guinea and I’ll give it to you at Whitsun.’

‘Where’d you get a guinea from?’ Katie said, impressed despite herself.

‘We’ve got it already,’ Dandy said proudly. ‘You know Merry’s got her own horse. We’re doing better than you think. We’ve got ten guineas between the two of us, and some shillings for spending money. You’re straight out of the poorhouse, you don’t understand what it’s like for us with our own act. You’ve never seen Merry work the horses. She can earn a lot of money. We’re only staying with Robert Gower this year. Next year we could go anywhere. Anyway, I’ve got a guinea all right. And it’s yours if you keep your hands off Jack.’

‘Dandy,’ I said in an urgent undertone.

But it was too late. The poorhouse whore spat into her dirty palm and Dandy shook quickly, before she could change her mind. Dandy got up and went to the mirror and pulled at the string bow which was tying her hair. ‘I’ll know if you cheat, mind,’ she said to her reflection.

Katie slumped back on her pallet. ‘I won’t cheat,’ she said disdainfully. ‘You can keep your Jack. I have lovers I don’t have to buy. I wish you good luck with him.’

Dandy turned away from the mirror. I thought she would be angry at the gibe but her face was serene. ‘I have to get around his father yet,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘Buying you off is just the start of it.’

She pulled her gown out of the clothes chest and slipped it on over her shift. She brushed out her hair and pinned it on top of her head. There was a very faint tide mark of grime at her bare neck and she rubbed at it with a damp forefinger and then put a clean white collar atop.

I sat on my bed and said nothing. Katie got to her feet and pulled on her poorhouse skirt as a replacement for her working breeches. She looked from Dandy to me and then went down the stairs to the stables below in silence.

‘One guinea,’ I said grimly.

Dandy turned from the mirror and put out her hands to me. ‘Don’t look like that, Merry,’ she said. ‘If I pull Jack and marry him then we won’t need your little ten guineas, we’ll have this house and the whole show.’

‘If you so much as try then my little ten guineas is all we’ll have,’ I said miserably. ‘Robert warned you, Dandy, and he warned Jack in front of us, and neither of you said so much as a whisper. He’ll put us out, both of us. And then where will we be? All we’ll have is a sixteen-hand hunter trained to nothing, you a trapeze artist without a trapeze, and me a rosinback rider without a horse.’

Dandy went to hold me but I put my hands up to fend her off. I was still too sore all over, and anyway I did not want her caresses.

‘He’ll never marry you, Dandy,’ I said certainly. ‘If you’re lucky he’ll have you and then forget all about it.’

Dandy smiled at me, a long slow powerful smile. Then she dived under the straw mattress of her bed and brought out a little linen bag.

‘Robert sent me to the wise woman,’ she said. ‘I lied and told him it was double the price. She told me how to get rid of a baby if I should have one. She told me when it was safe to go with a man so I should not get with child; and…’ Dandy opened the drawstring at the neck of the bag and showed me the few dusty leaves inside, ‘she sold me this!’

‘What is it?’ I asked. I sat down on my bed. I was feeling deeply weary. Tired because of my bruising and aches, but sick inside at the way that some danger and trouble seemed to be growing greater every moment without me being able to stay it or turn Dandy from her course.

‘It’s a love potion,’ she said triumphantly. ‘She knew I was Rom and I would know how to use it. I shall hex him, Merry, and I shall bring him to me. I shall have him begging for me. And then he’ll persuade his da to let us be wed.’

I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. Night had fallen outside and the room was lit only by the firelight.

‘You’re mad,’ I said wearily. ‘Robert Gower would never have you wed Jack.’