He stretched his hand across the table and took mine.
I said: “Thank you, Uncle Peter. You have helped me a lot. Should I go back to Cornwall?”
“I like your being here, of course, but you have to go back, don’t you? You have to see that man again. I think you’re hankering after him. I should find out. Then if he’ll still have you, marry him. Do you still want him?”
“I think of him … often.”
“You can’t get him out of your thoughts. I’ve seen you look at Helena and Matthew … wistfully.”
“It seems as if it might work out for them now.”
“It does indeed. Helena is not of an adventurous nature. She takes after her mother. She wants a cosy life. She is ready to step in line. This rather stresses what I have been telling you. I know the story. I know that John Milward is the baby’s father; but Matthew came along and he did his good deed. He married Helena to make life easier for her. He is a very agreeable young man. And now you see everything is going to turn out well for him … for them both. When he gets into Parliament, when he plays his part in bringing about Prison Reform he will have justified himself. His confidence will rise. I see a life of good works ahead of him for, mark my words, when he has done with Prison Reform, there will be something else. Helena will stand beside him, helped by her mother and me. She will provide the right setting for the rising politician. There will be little ones joining Jonnie in the nursery and Helena will realize that the best thing that happened to her was being jilted by John Milward and marrying Matthew purely for convenience in the first place.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “I don’t think it is going to be quite as simple as that.”
He looked at me earnestly. “But it will … if they make it so. You see what I’m getting at. Now this young man in Cornwall—you’ve known him all your life. I remember hearing that as a child you were his devoted slave. And then you grew up and were in love with him. Yes, you are. Don’t think you can deceive me. And you turn him down on some whim … just because, my dear, you are immersed in your tragedy and not making the effort to grow away from it. You allow yourself to suspect he is marrying you for your possessions. He wants Cador. So? He would be a foolish young man if he did not. Of course, he wants Cador; and for that very reason he will make a good thing of it. If he didn’t want Cador I should have a very poor opinion of him. How could he help you manage it satisfactorily if he didn’t feel delighted in having a share in it?”
“You have a certain way of reasoning …”
“I have a realistic way of reasoning. You want to feel that he would marry you if you were a little match seller. But you are not a match seller and if you were it is hardly likely that you would have met this young man. No. He wants to marry you. He loves you but that need not stop his loving Cador as well. Get rid of those romantic notions. Look at life as it really is … as I always have. And you see me as I am. I have ridden the storms, haven’t I? That is what you have to do in life, believe me.”
If it were only Cador that stood between us he might be right. But my thoughts went back to that Midsummer’s Eve.
I said: “When I was a child, I thought Rolf the most wonderful person on earth … at least one of them. He shared that honour with my father. Red-letter days were when he came to Cador which he did often with his father. Then something happened. It was Midsummer’s Eve in Cornwall. They celebrate it there with old customs going back to pre-Christian days. There was a woman who lived in the woods. People said she was a witch. On Midsummer’s Eve they burned down her house. There was one there … the leader in a kind of Druid’s robe. I believe it was Rolf because I had seen that robe in his house. It changed everything between us. It occurred to me that I did not know him at all. I felt I could not trust anyone any more, not even Rolf. And early in the morning of the day which was to have been our wedding day, I realized that it was Cador he wanted … and I just could not marry him.”
“Did you talk to him about it?”
“On the ship when we were coming home we had talked. He said he wasn’t there. He was in Bodmin.”
“Well?”
“I couldn’t quite believe him. Oh, I did at the time … but later I had so many doubts. And then I thought that he was marrying me for Cador.”
“And all because of that escapade.”
“Escapade! It was such cruelty as I had never seen before. If my father had been there he would have put a stop to it.”
“Let’s suppose the worst: that he lied about this. He was young. Young men have high spirits. Perhaps they drink a little too much. They do foolish things. They do things they regret afterwards. You must understand this. You have to forgive the sins of youth.”
“This was no ordinary little peccadillo. You should have seen that woman’s face … the terrible things they did to her.”
“People get carried away. He is a man now … and you are in love with him. The best thing you can do is marry him. I am sure the man who is looking after the place is good. He must be for your father was prepared to leave him in charge while he was away. But I daresay he had means of knowing what was going on and he would have been advised from afar and gone home if it had been necessary. The best manager in the country needs a guiding hand. You have to give that. It’s a great responsibility … all those tenants, people who depend on Cador. You’ve got to do your duty by the land; you have to make sure that all goes well with what your father and his forebears have built up. And Rolf is the man to help you. Go back and marry him if he’ll have you after what you did to him. He will … for Cador’s sake.”
“Uncle Peter,” I said, “you are the most amazing of men. I never thought I should be talking to you like this.”
“Sinners are far more lenient than saints. That’s another lesson you’ll have to learn. I know all the temptations, good people don’t. Therefore I understand how easy it is to fall into them. Take my advice. Go back. Talk to him. Tell him of your feelings … as you’ve talked to me. I’d like to see you settled. I tell you, I feel a responsibility towards you because I was fond of your mother. I’m fond of you, too.”
He smiled and lifted his glass.
“To the success of Annora. May everything that is good come to her. And let me tell you that if she makes up her mind to get it, she will. That’s a law of nature. Think about what we’ve said. And now I am going to take you back because I have a meeting to attend.”
I said: “Thank you, Uncle Peter. You have helped me quite a lot.”
He had. I felt my spirits rise. Had I attached too much importance to that Midsummer’s Eve? I tried to shut out the memory of the stricken face of that old woman and the flames rioting among the thatch of her cottage.
A youthful escapade? No, I could not think of it as that. It had been a cruel and vicious act and only a man who had cruelty in him could have taken part in such a deed. But he had not been there. I must believe him.
And Cador? Uncle Peter was right. Of course he loved Cador. He always had.
I was in love with Rolf. I always had been. Hadn’t I compared others with him? Joe. Gregory Donnelly. And always I had thought, But they are not Rolf. Yet I had turned my back on him. I thought of the last time I had seen him—cool, detached, almost as though he disliked me. It was natural that he should after what I had done.
Suppose I went back. Suppose I told him how I had felt. Suppose we talked—not just lightly but in detail about that Midsummer’s Eve and his love for Cador—talked frankly as, surprisingly, I had been able to talk to Uncle Peter.
Helena was growing towards some sort of contentment. I had gone with her and Aunt Amaryllis to see the little house in Westminster. It was charming and I could see that Helena liked it. There were plans in her mind as she talked quite animatedly for her about the aspect of the dining room and the drawing room, and how her eyes shone as she planned what should be the nursery.
“Jonnie would love to play in that,” said Aunt Amaryllis, beaming. It was all turning out as she would have wished, and her magnificent husband was going to buy this house for Helena and her husband. Moreover Uncle Peter was interested in Matthew’s prospects and that meant he was going to make a great career for his son-in-law.
It was only when she turned to me that Aunt Amaryllis’s eyes were clouded. She would be remembering my mother, my tragic loss, my desertion of my bridegroom almost at the altar.
And again I thought: Uncle Peter is right. I have allowed myself to brood, to become cynical, to look for a mercenary motive behind people’s actions. I remembered my mother’s saying that good things would always come to Amaryllis because she just simply failed to see what was not good.
I think there must have been some truth in that.
Now Aunt Amaryllis had both her children happily settled. The irritations which had beset them a short while ago when people who were jealous of Peter had tried to pull him down, were over. Nobody could ruin Peter however virulently they attacked him. Everyone must see what a magnificent man he was.
I thought of Peter choosing Amaryllis. He had said he might have married my mother. I doubted she would have had him, but if she had, Peter’s marriage would have been stormy. He had chosen Amaryllis because she was just the wife he needed. What husband wouldn’t want a wife who thought him perfect in every way? How rare such women would be. It was typical of Uncle Peter that he had one.
What he had said to me was true. Rolf and I belonged together. And Cador belonged to us.
While I was looking over the house with Helena and Aunt Amaryllis I said to myself: Go back. See Rolf. Ask his forgiveness for what I have done and talk … talk frankly. Tell him exactly what I feel.
The thought lifted my spirits considerably.
When I mentioned to Helena that I had decided to go back to Cornwall very soon, she was regretful, but she did not cling to me and beg me to stay as once she would have done. That was an indication of the change in her life. She was getting closer to Matthew. She was eager to get to the new house. She discussed how she would entertain there with her mother and was even drawing up lists of people who should be invited.
One morning, a few days after my luncheon with Uncle Peter I went downstairs and found two letters waiting for me. Both came from Cornwall. One was from Rolf; the other from Yorke, Tamblin and Company, the lawyers who had taken over the practice when Rolf’s father had given up.
I hesitated over them and deliberately picked up the lawyers’ letter first.
Dear Miss Cadorson,
A most extraordinary and alarming matter has arisen. It is difficult to explain by letter, but I think you should return to Cador immediately.
I assure you that it is of the utmost importance that you come without delay.
Your obedient servant,
James Tamblin
I was puzzled. To what could he be referring and why so mysterious.
I took up Rolf’s letter.
“My dear Annora.” I felt floods of relief sweep over me. At least he called me his dear Annora, so he could not hate and despise me as much as I had feared.
This is a most extraordinary matter. I really cannot believe it is true. James Tamblin, I know, is writing to you. I do think it is imperative that you should be here. It is a matter which will have to have thorough investigation, as you will agree …
How can I, I thought, when I don’t know what it is?
I am afraid I was a little bewildered at our last meeting and you did not find me very sympathetic. Annora, we have to forget that. It’s over. I still don’t understand it, but I am trying to put it behind me.
I want you to know that if you need my help over this I am here to be of assistance. Remember, I did study law to a certain extent. So you must call on me at any time you think I might be of use.
Don’t worry. We will go on as though nothing has happened. I am sure this ridiculous claim will be proved to be false.
I hope we can be, as we always were, good friends.
Yours,
Rolf
I read both letters again. They were maddeningly obscure. What could have happened? I must know. I would return to Cornwall without delay.
There was consternation throughout the household when I produced the solicitors’ letter. Everyone was mystified.
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