Belinda Roberts - Mr. Darcy Goes Overboard: A Tale of Tide & Prejudice

With that, Darcy turned away and continued his brooding stare out over the estuary. Bingley, perplexed by his friend’s stupid behaviour, clambered back over the deck to further enjoy the company of those in the cockpit. Lizzy, who had overheard Mr Darcy’s remark, felt he was indeed a proud and unpleasant man, so was not hurt and enjoyed regaling the story to her friends.

The drinks party drew to a close, and the Bennet family returned without further incident to 3 Island Street, where the rest of the day was spent recounting the events aboard Pemberley . Mr Bennet was told, if not once but a thousand times by Mrs Bennet, how delightful Mr Bingley was, how he admired Jane, and how he favoured her above all others, and only when Mr Bennet protested that he had heard enough did Mrs Bennet look for another avenue for her story and recount the outrageous behaviour of Mr Darcy. “He is the rudest, most pompous, stuck-up, conceited, high and mighty, self-important, snobbish, arrogant big head one could have the misfortune to meet!”

“You did not like him, then?” suggested Mr Bennet.

“Like him?” retorted Mrs Bennet, incredulous. “Oh, Mr Bennet, how you tease me! You know I would happily have wrung his neck and thrown him overboard.” And with that, Mrs Bennet flounced out of the room, and Mr Bennet was left once more, grateful for silence and solitude.

“Oh, Lizzy,” cried Jane, “I must confess he is a blaze! The most delightful, handsomest, cutest guy I have ever had the good fortune to set eyes on.”

“And you, Jane, are quite the most delightful, handsomest, cutest girl he has ever had the good fortune to set eyes on. The perfect match.”

“Oh, don’t tease me, Lizzy. And what of his sisters? Were they not awesome? Quite the most elegant creatures you ever beheld?”

“Elegant they may be but proud and unfriendly. First they spent their time frazzling in the sun to avoid conversation with us, and when this became too dull for them, they talked only to themselves, constantly keeping to starboard when we were on port, and when we moved to port, I could not fail to notice that they moved straightaway to starboard.”

“Oh, Lizzy! I am sure they meant nothing of that. They were simply trying to keep the boat well balanced for our comfort.”

Lizzy was not convinced but did not pursue the matter for fear of upsetting Jane. Bingley’s sisters were indeed fashionable ladies, educated at a reassuringly expensive public school, who had inherited a fortune healthy enough to keep them active in the clothes shops around Sloane Square when in London—a hobby that for the summer season was being successfully maintained by diligent visits to the clothes’ shops of Salcombe. The young ladies had made regular visits to the birthplace of Jack Wills. In addition, Crew, Joules, Fat Face, White Stuff, Quba, and Amelia’s Attic had all felt the beneficence of these diligent shoppers and had happily yielded up their designer carrier bags to allow jackets, hats, stripy shirts, polos, hoodies, sweatpants, and jewellery to be transported back to Netherpollock.

Mr Bingley himself had inherited an equally fine amount of money on the passing away of his father. This had been a most distressing time, since Bingley was only a young fellow with his life ahead of him and barely out of “A” levels. His intention to spend it on bricks and mortar had been encouraged by his older sisters, who planned to escape the north and spend their inheritance on houses in London but were keen to encourage him to buy a holiday house in Devon, where they could all holiday and keep the family together in such sorry times. The sisters contacted agents in Devon and Cornwall, and soon the particulars of tempting residences were dropping through the letterbox. But Bingley, still in mourning for his father, and with the likelihood of re-takes looming, was proving obstinately slow at doing anything with his newfound wealth. It was only on a visit to the dentist that Lulu, reading a surprisingly up-to-date copy of Country Life magazine, saw “a gem of the Devon coastline’ for sale, immediately fell in love with it on behalf of her brother, popped the magazine in her Gucci bag, and within half an hour of leaving the dentist with her jaw numb, had left the magazine open on the kitchen table of their family home in the north. And so it was that the young Charles Bingley spotted Netherpollock in Country Life , announced to his sisters that “Dash it all! It’s what the parentals would have wanted’, and that he must have it, caught a train to Devon, a taxi straight to Salcombe, a water taxi across to Netherpollock, where he met the affable agent, ran around the house, enthusing at its splendid views, its delightful proportions, and was generally so happy and satisfied with everything that he put an offer in there and then and did not sleep soundly until he had exchanged and the property was his.

* * *

Happy in Netherpollock, happy with his sisters, happy with his steady friendship with Darcy, Bingley could not have been more different from the latter. Whereas Bingley was all smiles, Darcy was all grumps. Bingley made friends wherever he went; Darcy always managed to offend. But Bingley admired Darcy and took note of his judgement—Darcy, after all, was superior in intellect; not that Bingley was totally deficient. It was a reflection of his easygoing nature that Bingley was not offended by Darcy’s superior, fastidious nature, and the two spent much time in each other’s company. The manner in which they discussed the Pemberley drinks party perfectly reflected their characters. Bingley enthused he had never met such splendidly delightful girls in his life, whereas Darcy complained he had never seen a collection of people for whom he had so little regard. He did admit that the eldest Miss Bennet was very pretty, but she smiled too much. On the subject of Jane Bennet, the Bingley sisters agreed that she was a pretty, sweet girl whom they could tolerate in company. This was enough encouragement for Bingley to feel he could think of her as he chose.

Opposite 3 Island Street, where the Bennet family resided during their summer holidays, was Island Terrace, where the Lucas family resided during their summer holidays. As a young man, Sir William Lucas had worked in his family business, a shop entitled Knitter’s Paradise, and had enjoyed a steady income for minimal effort for many years, allowing him to be tempted into standing as a local councillor, which upon election, he devoted himself to his duties with surprising vigour and with unparalleled enthusiasm for health-and-safety issues. So much so that he had managed to close down many dangerous businesses in his local town, as well as the scouts, rugby club, Sunday school, art class, and Pilates for the over eighties, saving lives and limbs, and ultimately resulting in his presentation at St James’s for service to the community. But Sir William had paid a price for his diligence. The little town, now safe, was devoid of hustle and bustle. In short, it had become so stiflingly dull that Sir William was forced to move out during the summer months, for there was nothing for his children to do. He had cast around for a place to buy a holiday house, and being a man with a nose for fashion, realised one could not go wrong with Salcombe, and also being a man of inherited means, had enough money to be generous without causing himself too much distress. So it was with a warm heart he arrived in Salcombe, ready to sprinkle health-and-safety advice on locals and fellow holidaymakers.

His wife, Marcia, was a talented chatterbox but not too clever not to be a valuable neighbour to Mrs Bennet. They had several children, the eldest of which, Charlotte, a sensible, intelligent young woman, was Lizzy’s intimate friend.

An event like drinks on the Pemberley could not go undiscussed by the Lucas and Bennet families, and so it was not surprising to see a group of them sitting on the jetty, enjoying ice creams and conversing over the previous day’s events.

“You were favoured with early conversation with Mr Bingley, my dear Lottie,” said Mrs Bennet generously.

“Oh yes! We had a most interesting discussion about university. To think a young man should have a house in Salcombe and at the same time be applying to university. Why! It is most uncommon!”

“With such a fortune, I doubt he will take out a student loan,” added Kitty.

“A student loan! Heavens, child!” exclaimed Mrs Bennet. “A man of Mr Bingley’s means would not need such a thing as a loan. He has all the money in the world! A loan indeed!”

“University? Why I doubt he will be going anyway now he has gone completely loopy over Jane!” said Kitty.

“Really, Kitty!” interjected Mary. “How could you speak in such ignorant terms? A young man of intelligence will always choose education over romance.”

“Oh chill out, Mary!”

“Why should I? My opinions are just as valuable as anyone else’s. In fact, I would go further to say that in the present company, they are probably more valuable.” Mary licked her pistachio ice cream with vigour to prove her point.

“And what about Mr Darcy? Wasn’t he insanely rude to poor Lizzy?”

“He is very proud,” said Lizzy, smiling. “But I suppose he is a fine and outrageously rich young man who can afford yachts and champagne, so I suppose you could forgive him for being a little proud. In fact, I would forgive him for being such a bad prawn if he had not made me feel like one, too.”

As the summer days slipped by, the Bennets saw more and more of the Bingley party. Angelica proved invaluable for popping backwards and forwards to Netherpollock and Mill Bay. Bingley soon purchased his own rib, which he christened Little Miss Splendid , and the two rubber boats became a familiar sight nuzzling on the beach as their owners enjoyed picnics, games of cricket, and swimming in the clear waters. It became clear that Bingley was completely crazy about Jane. He was attentive and kind, always having a towel ready for her when she emerged shivering from the sea, offering a hand to help her to her feet after sunbathing may have made her dizzy, and in a daring moment, applying factor-fifty suncream to protect her snowy white back. Jane was cheerful and composed in response, so no one could guess which way her affections lay.

Lizzy remarked on Jane’s strength of character to Lottie one day as they wandered down the beach towards the Venus Cafe for a quiet Magnum ice cream and was surprised by her friend’s response.

“Jane’s behaviour might be admirable in your eyes, but she is playing a dangerous game.”

“What do you mean?” asked Lizzy, astonished. “A dangerous game? Are you suggesting Bingley is not what he seems? Is he some sort of criminal or undercover agent who means to trick dear Jane into a subculture of espionage or…?”

“Lizzy! Be serious. I simply mean that if Jane is so guarded in her behaviour, she may lose that which she most desires! Bingley is clearly head over heels in love with Jane, but if she shows him no encouragement, it may go no further. She must help him on.”

“But if I can tell she has a high regard for him, he must be a simpleton indeed not to discover it, too.”

“Lizzy, you have known Jane since the cradle. Bingley has only just become aware of her charms.”

“And it is up to him to discover her feelings.”

“Perhaps if he sees enough of her. But remember there are always crowds of sisters around. Jane should ensure that she contrives at least some time in his company alone. When she is secure of him, there will be leisure for falling in love as much as she chooses.”

“Fine, if her only desire is to be well married. But she has known him barely a fortnight and may not be sure yet of her own feelings. She has swum with him several times at Mill Bay and has visited Captain Morgan’s twice with him for a slap-up breakfast, the Winking Prawn three times to enjoy a dozen king prawns for lunch, and snuggled up in the oak-beamed Victoria Inn four times for a fireside supper—but all in company. This is not quite enough to make her understand his character.”

“Not as you represent it. Had she merely visited a public house with him, it would be enough to ascertain whether he preferred Becks or Stella Artois; but you must remember that four evenings have also been spent in an intimate atmosphere together—and four evenings may do a great deal.”