J Croft - Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge

The Darcy family’s arrival soon followed, necessitating many introductions; and when the youngest occupant of the room was brought forward, Robert Bennet’s parents were extremely proud as the little boy bowed properly and completely charmed everyone while being presented to Mr. George Darcy, Lady Anne, Georgiana, and Anna. They were not so proud, however, when, upon being introduced to Fitzwilliam Darcy, Robert’s blue eyes grew wide and he excitedly asked, “Are you Libazeth’s hanson barberin?”

The tall, dark, and handsome Darcy heir stood gaping down at the tiny, fair, and adorable Bennet heir, just as a servant announced, “Lieutenant-Colonel John Dun.”

The army officer, in his brilliant uniform, made a striking entrance but stopped short at the sight that greeted him. The three eldest Bennet daughters and their lovely mother were all blushing nearly as deeply as the scarlet of his regimental coat.

“I beg your pardon?” Fitzwilliam Darcy asked Robert Bennet in a distracted manner. His attention was divided between the arrival of the soldier and the sweet little boy with his very intriguing question that had caused such embarrassment for nearly half the ladies in the room.

“I beg your pardon,” said the confused Lieutenant-Colonel John Dun as he glanced at the occupants of the drawing room, “have I come at a bad time?”

Mr. Bennet immediately put the young army officer at ease by introducing him to the two Burke men, the Gardiners, George and Lady Anne Darcy, Miss Darcy and Miss Anna.

Already a bit discombobulated by the three-year-old Bennet’s ‘hanson barberin’ question, learning the identity of the brawny soldier threw Fitzwilliam Darcy further off balance. Georgiana had warned her brother he might have competition if he wished to pursue Elizabeth Bennet, and at Pemberley the lady herself had mentioned a very good friend who was an army officer. Darcy thought his sister had said he was a dun fellow; and he assumed she meant he was a colourless, importuning sort. Of course, one should never assume.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that in nature, the more colourful and ornate male bird is designed to attract the female of the species. In mammals, however, the male might actually have to prove himself worthy by competing with another in order to win the right to be a certain female’s mate.

Lieutenant-Colonel John Dun was an attractive, well-bred man in his mid twenties, about six foot and twelve stone, with a confident gait and posture. Well groomed and impeccably dressed and polished, he exuded youth, vigour, strength, and dominance. As Dun was introduced to each guest that evening, he made direct eye contact and greeted him or her with a warm and bright smile.

His thick and vibrant wavy hair, which brushed the collar of his coat, seemed to change colour depending on how the light touched the burnished strands. Miss Darcy thought it was auburn with gold highlights; Miss Anna called it amber with streaks of bronze; Jane considered it to be more copper with fiery accents; and Lizzy, who was rather hungry as she waited for dinner, would have said it resembled cinnamon, nutmeg, and honey. Fitzwilliam Darcy’s opinion of Dun’s hair was that it looked like a clay-covered carrot-coloured mop that clashed horribly with the red of the ruddy bloke’s uniform.

The women admired his wide shoulders, broad chest, and slender waist and hips. Beneath the dignified uniform, it was evident John Dun’s build was muscular, well toned, and very fit; Jane Bennet’s thoughts wandered to Pemberley’s lawn as she pictured a different handsome officer and wondered how Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam would look with his clothes on … er, uniform on.

“I apologize for wearing regimentals to dinner. I was detained and did not want to risk the time to change into civilian clothes for fear of arriving during the middle of the meal.”

Fitzwilliam Darcy mumbled to himself, “Taradiddling popinjay.”

The ladies had no complaints whatsoever about Dun being in uniform, and they continued to study the good-looking officer. Madeleine Gardiner noticed the Lieutenant-Colonel had a wide brow, a clear and slightly tanned complexion, and symmetrical features, except for a small scar to the left of his broad chin. Mary Bennet sighed, like the schoolgirl she was, and studied his high cheekbones, square jaw, straight nose, and full lips. The fact the officer was clean-shaven and had neatly trimmed sideburns also met with her approval. Lady Anne Darcy admired Dun’s lush auburn lashes and eyebrows, neither too thick nor too thin, that framed big, round, deeply set emerald eyes that often sought Miss Elizabeth; and a concerned Lady Anne glanced toward her son.

Fitzwilliam Darcy stood rooted to the same spot where the tow-headed little boy had confronted and confounded him. Robert Bennet was in the process of being whisked off to bed, in company with Lydia and Kitty; and their mother took a few minutes away from her guests to kiss her youngest children goodnight. As they were going out the door, the little lad could be heard saying, “But, Mama, I want to talk to the hanson barberin!”

Darcy moved closer to Miss Elizabeth, turned his mind away from the conundrum of the poppet’s words, and redirected his attention toward the popinjay. Lieutenant-Colonel John Dun felt someone’s stare boring into his back, and he pivoted toward a tall and aloof gentleman who was standing, much too closely in his opinion, beside the beautiful Miss Elizabeth. Mr. Bennet introduced the two strong young bucks and wondered whether he could actually feel the tension and animosity in the air between them or if it was just his imagination. Fitzwilliam Darcy’s nostrils flared when the other man looked him squarely in the face, and the green-eyed monster reared its ugly head. Dun raised his chin, his emerald eyes met Darcy’s glare full on, and the two males recognized and appraised their rival.

In medieval times, nobility and knights alike displayed their trust in one another by extending hands to show they held no weapons; and the grasping of hands demonstrated open hospitality rather than hostility or intent to harm. The unexpected handshake between Darcy and Dun turned into a duel of sorts, with each increasing the pressure of his bone-crushing clasp until Mr. Bennet cleared his throat and gave them both a disapproving glare. The host completed the last of the introductions; and, as everyone took a seat, Mr. Bennet was unnerved to discover Lizzy had become sandwiched on a sofa between the dashing Darcy and the dutiful Dun.

Elizabeth was both thrilled and mortified, and every eye in the room seemed to be unnecessarily focused on her particular seating arrangement. The thrill was the result of being almost squashed between two such magnificent male models of masculinity. The mortification was threefold: firstly, from being almost squashed between two such magnificent male models of masculinity; secondly, from said ‘squashment’ being under the scrutiny of her family and friends; and thirdly, from the knowledge she would soon have to disappoint one of the men whose thigh was tantalizingly pressed against her own.

At the dinner table, to Mrs. Bennet’s right and left, George Darcy and Madeleine Gardiner sat across from one another and spoke of Pemberley’s menagerie. Mrs. Gardiner said, “My husband is very fond of small dogs; and he heard so much about Dust Bunny and Pug-Nacious from our nieces that I finally gave in when Edward hounded me about getting a puppy. We decided on a Maltese, because an acquaintance breeds the dear little dogs. Then we had quite a lengthy dispute over which puppy to choose; and it was, after much argument, the pique of the litter.”

At the other end of the table, the host was conversing with those closest to him, Lady Anne Darcy, John Burke, Edward Gardiner, and Georgiana Darcy. Mr. Burke finished telling a story about a ladder having been brazenly stolen from his townhouse property, and Mr. Bennet suggested further steps would need to be taken in order to prevent another such theft from their neighbourhood.

As Mrs. Bennet had decided to keep to her original seating plan, Fitzwilliam Darcy was almost as far from Elizabeth as the table could divide them. To his right was Mrs. Gardiner and to his left Mary Bennet, followed by beyond-the-pale Lieutenant-Colonel Dun, who was in the most fortunate position of being seated next to Elizabeth. Because they were on the same side of the table, Darcy could neither see nor hear what was transpiring between the two without leaning inappropriately forward or backward; so he suffered in ignorance and made polite small talk about music with Miss Mary and also with Miss Jane Bennet, who was seated across from him.

From further down the table, the delightful sound of Elizabeth’s laughter reached Darcy’s envious ears. Aargh! What are you saying, Dun? Of what is it you are talking? What are you telling Miss Elizabeth? Let me hear what it is. I must have my share in your conversation. His over-active imagination had Dun leaning in to whisper sweet nothings in Lizzy’s receptive ear, and it got the better of him. Darcy leaned backward until, behind the row of diners, he could see the rogue’s carrot-topped head next to the cherished chestnut curls; and he was somewhat appeased to note decorum was, at least, being maintained.

When he returned to a forward position, Darcy happened to glance across the table and several seats away to his youngest sister, Anna. It seemed as though she was thoroughly enjoying her position between two strapping young men, Evan Gardiner and Daniel Burke. Good Lord. Is Anna actually flirting? Although he was very protective of both his sisters, he was thankful he did not have full responsibility for them and thought it must be rather difficult to keep a tight rein on young women until they were securely, and with any luck happily, betrothed and wed to good men.

Lieutenant-Colonel John Dun had been extremely gratified to discover he would be the fortunate one seated next to the lovely Miss Elizabeth and that the dour Darcy dolt was far away and, hopefully, forgotten. Dun regularly regaled her with regimental revelry and relished her refreshing responses.

Georgiana Darcy, seated betwixt Edward Gardiner and Daniel Burke, was not a very accommodating conversationalist that evening. Instead she concentrated on what was being said between Elizabeth and the handsome army officer, although they were across the table and a couple places away. Georgiana was not shy and could be quite outspoken when her temper was provoked. She looked daggers at the military man who held her friend captive and could no longer hold her tongue. “Lieutenant-Colonel, I believe an army officer is a position for which some people shoot. I have even heard army officers drink in order to be fortified in their position.”

Lady Anne was rather appalled at her daughter’s forthrightness. She knew her son suffered in silence at the other end of the table and was somewhat amused that Georgiana had taken up the cause on his behalf; nevertheless, she would not stand for impertinence nor hesitate to put her foot down if the situation merited a firm stance.

Dun smiled at the young lady and said, “Miss Darcy, in general, the rumours you hear about the army often have a colonel of truth to them, but not in a major way.”

Edward Gardiner added, “I know of one cavalry officer who switched to the navy, and his life took a new tack.”

Elizabeth was having a very good time, despite being separated from the handsome barbarian. She turned toward her uncle and asked, “Is he the same naval officer who gave the milliner a stern look because he wanted to purchase a new hat but was afraid of cap-sizing?”

Mr. Gardiner grinned at his niece and said, “I am unsure, my dear; but as to alcohol, I do know he harboured a love of port.”

‘Port’ was the cue taken by the hostess to stand and indicate the ladies should follow her to the drawing room while the eight gentlemen remained behind to enjoy fortified beverages imported by her brother.

John Burke proudly produced his ornate snuffbox and inquired whether any others cared to partake, which they did not; however, John Dun did light up a cheroot. Copious amounts of port, Madeira, and brandy were available; and the four elder gentlemen were content to remain in the room and talk of Tattersall’s, horse racing, and pugilism –especially Tom Cribb’s victory in the eleventh round at Thistleton Gap on September 28th. Lieutenant-Colonel John Dun easily joined in their discussions, and it was evident he was an erudite conversationalist. Fitzwilliam Darcy, on the other hand, did not have the talent of conversing easily with those he had never met before. He could neither catch their tone of conversation nor appear interested in their concerns. Darcy was more interested in retreating to the drawing room and speaking with Miss Elizabeth, as he found it quite effortless and pleasurable to have intercourse with her.