Snort, puff, grunt!

“Ouch! Eeek!” Lizzy promptly withdrew her hand and stood up with a startled, bewildered look on her face.

“Elizabeth!” Georgiana exclaimed and came swiftly to her guest’s side. “Whatever happened? Have you pricked your poor finger on a needle in my sewing basket?”

“I am uncertain. Does your pincushion happen to purr, whistle, snuffle, snort, puff and grunt?”

Miss Anna rushed forward. “Oh, thank you, Elizabeth! You have found Barbara Thorne. I spent most of the morning searching for her, but … Oh, I am sorry. Did she startle you? Barb is quite harmless, really. Does your hand require attention? Please allow me to ring for assistance.” The flustered girl began to turn away.

Elizabeth stopped Anna with a gentle touch on her arm and insisted she was fine. “Truly, my friend, I was merely startled.”

Jane joined them and looked at her sister with protective concern. “Lizzy, are you certain you have not been injured?”

“I am perfectly fine, Jane; and if I am not mistaken, your solicitude should be for a prickly little hedgehog by the name of Barbara Thorne, who is most likely very upset and frightened by now.”

Miss Anna retrieved a small ball of quills from the basket, held it gently in her hands and cooed soothingly to the little creature. She then excused herself to return Barb to its proper confinement in her bedchamber.

Georgiana’s apology for Elizabeth’s distress was dismissed as unnecessary. Just as Anna returned, a footman informed them the landau was ready and waiting. While the ladies donned their bonnets in preparation for the excursion, Fitzwilliam Darcy made an appearance that was remarkably different than the one a day prior on the lawn. The striking young man bowed elegantly and politely inquired about the ladies’ health and plans for the afternoon. He was immaculately attired in a soft white lawn shirt and cravat, tan striped waistcoat, nut-brown tailcoat, Nankeen breeches, and tall Hessian boots. Elizabeth was relieved to discover his hair was not actually green-tinged but was a rather alluring rich chocolate colour with thick tousled curls. So, here, obviously, is the dignified, impeccably dressed brother Anna had so loyally praised yesterday. Lizzy Bennet thought he just might not be such a barbaric buffoon after all; just the same, she soon came to realize the hooligan had actually been just as appealing as the formally proper, well-groomed, conventional gentleman who stiffly stood before her.

For his part, Darcy simply wanted to make a better impression than he had on their initial meeting; so he had donned his reserved public persona. As his father had taught him, a gentleman must not show his emotions; so Darcy’s handsome but unreadable face displayed total indifference, never allowing an iota of his attraction to the younger Bennet sister to be detected. He wished the ladies a pleasant afternoon and informed his sisters that he and his party were going riding and would return to the house later in the afternoon. Should he be needed for any reason afterward, they would most likely be found in the billiard room. Once that succinct information was imparted, Darcy bowed very properly and took his leave.

The ladies insisted the landau’s hoods remain folded down as they started their jaunt around the expansive park. Ninety minutes later, they returned to the house with rosy, laughing faces. A light repast of cold meats, bread, cheese, and fruit was enjoyed al fresco at a canopied table on the garden terrace. The two sets of siblings then strolled toward the stables to see a litter of kittens born several weeks previously. The feral striped mother cat flattened her ears and growled if anyone came too close to the babies, so the young ladies left the felines alone and walked in the direction of the orangery.

Unbeknownst to them, Rex and Regina, George Darcy’s two rambunctious Dalmatians, had also entered the barn, perilously close to the open stall where the cats had taken up residence. The outraged tabby arched her back, hissed a warning, and then attacked, which caused the spotted dogs to run away with tails between their legs. They raced pell-mell toward the winter-garden glasshouse on a direct collision course with the four women, who were by then headed back to the manor. When Miss Anna saw the Dalmatians barreling toward them, she warned the others. “Stand absolutely still, and the dogs will swerve away from us. Do not move until they have passed.” The young lady spoke from first-hand experience; she had once tried, unsuccessfully, to dodge the boisterous dogs.

Miss Darcy and Elizabeth heeded Anna’s advice. However, Jane was on the other end; she panicked and took a few steps to her left just as Rex veered off to his right. They collided, and Jane was knocked down and, in fact, knocked out. The impact knocked Miss Bennet’s shoe off her foot and sent it sailing through the air. Rex was instantly miserable, for he had not intended to hurt the poor lady; so, as his way of apologizing, he licked her face as she lay unconscious.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Reynolds, who was on a different route to the orangery, noticed an unexpected object on its glass roof. She stopped, with fists planted on hips, and stared upward. As Georgiana ran in her direction, the housekeeper began to question her. “Miss Darcy, do you have any notion why a woman’s shoe is up there or how it arrived at such a mysterious final resting place?” She pointed to the enigma but immediately became alarmed by the distressed look on the dear girl’s face.

“Oh, Mrs. Reynolds, it is in every way horrible. Please do not mention final resting place, for Miss Bennet is gravely injured and comatose. You must help us. Please make haste!”

Elizabeth knelt at Jane’s side as her sister began to groan. “Please, Jane, awaken. Tell me you are going to be fine. Wake up, my darling sister, please. Be well, I pray.”

Panic-stricken, Jane opened her eyes and cried, “Oh, Lizzy, I fear I am partially paralyzed. The entire left side of my face is stiff and numb.” Tears filled Jane’s eyes as she clasped her sister’s hand.

Lizzy at once realized what had caused the ‘paralysis;’ and, partly in reaction to shock but also due to the humour in the situation, she began to chuckle. When Mrs. Reynolds arrived with Georgiana, she found a very giddy Miss Elizabeth and an outraged Miss Bennet. The latter sat up, glared at her sister, and said, “Not funny, Lizzy! My goodness, was I unconscious long enough for dog slobber to actually dry up on my face like that? Oh, do stop laughing, Lizzy! My head feels funny and my funny bone hurts.”

The housekeeper, Georgiana, and Miss Anna were relieved Miss Bennet quickly recovered from the impact with the dog and the ground. Still and all, Mrs. Reynolds insisted they immediately return to the house so she could attend the lady’s injured elbow.

Miss Darcy felt it necessary to apologize, yet again, to the Bennets for another hair-raising chapter in what seemed to be a savage saga of dastardly Darcy family failings and faux pas. Once more, the visitors made light of the episode. Elizabeth said, “I am very thankful Jane’s injuries were no more serious than a scraped arm. Just the same, I cannot help but find the whole incident rather humerus.” That statement earned Lizzy another indignant glare from her elder sibling.

In the billiard room, Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam, Bingley, and Fleming took turns shooting the colourful ivory balls across the green baize of the table that dominated the room. Darcy’s foxhounds, Romulus and Remus, were curled up and dozing beneath; and each time the balls clacked above them, the dogs raised their heads.

As the Colonel prepared to take a shot, he addressed his cousin. “Will the lovely Bennet sisters be joining us for dinner?”

“When I last saw the ladies several hours ago, Georgiana had not made mention of it, so I am uncertain.”

Bingley, who had been leaning against the wall, pushed himself off and exclaimed, “Darcy, do you mean to tell me now that the exquisite Miss Jane Bennet has been here all this afternoon?”

“I do not mean to tell you now, Bingley; for you have just already gained that knowledge.”

“But, blast it, you had concealed their presence from me!”

“I did not conceal the fact. I just never thought to mention it.”

“Really, Darcy, I thought I could count on your assistance; but with friends like you … ”

“Yes, yes, I know … who needs anemones. All the same, perhaps I was remiss, and I apologize.”

“Then I have your approval to become better acquainted with Miss Bennet?”

“Good God, Bingley,” interrupted Fleming. “Do you actually need Darcy’s approval for such a pursuit?”

The young man sheepishly replied, “Most certainly not! Nonetheless, I should like to know I have it all the same.”

Fleming rolled his eyes and said, “Oh, just go and get to it, Bungley.”

Bingley turned to one of the Darcy family’s ever-present footmen and commanded, “Bring me my coat at once. Quickly, man!”

Ellis Fleming put away his cue stick, glanced at Darcy, and said, “I daresay Bingley is right. We should all do the gentlemanly thing and pay our respects to the fairer sex. It might be unseemly for the rest of us not to do so while biddable Bingley makes an appearance.” Fleming did not seek assistance but pulled on his coat and hastily ran fingers through his feathery black hair.

“Yes, I do suppose it would be proper etiquette, my friend. However, that is the only reason I can think of for seeking out the young ladies.” Darcy hurried to don his coat, straighten his cravat, and check his impeccable image in the mirror over the mantle. The two burly bucks tried to exit the room at the same instant, and their broad shoulders were momentarily jammed together in the doorway.