Amanda Grange - Mr. Darcy’s Diary

‘Admirably expressed,’ said Sir William Lucas, as he joined us. He bowed to me, and then to Mr Collins, and then to me again. ‘Only such worth could resign us to the fact that you will be carrying away the brightest jewel of our county when you carry Elizabeth to Derbyshire,’ he continued with another bow. ‘I hope we will all of us meet very frequently, either at Longbourn or at St James’s.’

Fortunately we then went in to dinner, but though I was relieved from the company of Mr Collins and Sir William, I found myself seated next to Mrs Philips. She seemed too much in awe of me to say very much, but when she did speak, it was all of it very vulgar.

‘So, Mr Darcy, it is true you have ten thousand a year?’ she asked.

I looked at her quellingly.

‘I am sure it must be, for I have heard it talked of everywhere. And is Pemberley bigger than Rosings?’

When I did not reply, she asked the question again.

‘It is,’ I said.

‘And how much was the chimney-piece? Mr Collins was telling me that the chimney-piece at Rosings cost eight hundred pounds. I expect the chimney-piece at Pemberley must have cost over a thousand pounds. My sister and I were talking of it only the other day. “Depend on it,” I said,“it will have been well over a thousand pounds”.

“Very likely it cost more than twelve hundred pounds”, she returned. It is a good thing Lizzy did not marry Mr Collins, after all, though my sister was annoyed enough at the time, but what is Mr Collins to Mr Darcy? Even Lady Lucas agrees that he is nothing whatsoever. Ten thousand a year. The dresses, the carriages she will have.’

I bore her remarks as best I could, and I look forward to the day when I will have Elizabeth with me at Pemberley, free of all her relations.

Tuesday 28th October

I did not know that I could feel so nervous, but this morning I felt almost as nervous as the day on which I asked Elizabeth to marry me. Bingley and I went to the church together. I believe he was even more anxious than I was when we went in and took our places at the front.

The guests began to arrive. Mr Collins was the first.

His wife was not with him, for she was to be Elizabeth’s attendant. Mrs Philips followed closely after. The Lucases arrived, then a number of Elizabeth’s acquaintances. Of my own relatives there was only Colonel Fitzwilliam and my sister, Georgiana. Lady Catherine and Anne did not attend. I did not expect it, and I was relieved that aunt had decided to stay away, but I would have liked to have seen Anne, and I suspect she would have liked to see me married safely to Elizabeth.

The church filled. The guests took their seats. Bingley and I exchanged glances. We looked to the door. We looked back again. I glanced at my watch. Bingley glanced at his. He smiled nervously. I smiled reassuringly.

He nodded. I clasped my hands. And then we heard a sigh and, looking round, I beheld Elizabeth. She was walking up the aisle on her father’s arm, with Jane on his other arm. But I had no eyes for Jane. I had eyes only for Elizabeth. She looked radiant. I felt my nervousness leave me as she joined me, taking her place next to me as Jane took her place next to Bingley.

The service was simple but it touched me deeply. As Elizabeth and I exchanged vows I thought there could not have been a happier man in all England.

We left the church, and as I looked down at Elizabeth I knew she was now Mrs Darcy.

‘Mrs Darcy!’ said her mother, echoing my thoughts.

‘How well it sounds. And Mrs Bingley! Oh! If I can but see my other two daughters so well married I will have nothing left to wish for.’

We returned to Longbourn for the wedding breakfast, and then Elizabeth and I set off for a tour of the Lake District. Jane and Bingley went with us. We stopped for the night at a small inn and I am making the most of the opportunity to write my diary, for there will not be time later. I am looking forward to this evening.

After dinner, our true marriage will begin.

Tuesday 11th November

Today we returned to Pemberley, after our honeymoon by the lakes. Elizabeth looked well and happy. I watched her as the carriage rolled up the drive, seeing in her face her delight at her new home.

The carriage pulled up outside the door. We went in.

Mrs Reynolds had assembled the staff, and they welcomed us. Mrs Reynolds, I know, is delighted to see a mistress at Pemberley again.

We went up to our rooms. I went into her suite with Elizabeth. It was the only set of rooms she wanted altered, and it had been decorated just as she wished.

‘Do you like it?’ I asked.

She looked round her appreciatively. ‘It is perfect.’

I went over to her and kissed her.

‘Do you like it?’ she asked, looking round at the room again.

‘It does not matter if I like it or not.’

‘I think it does,’ she teased me. ‘After all, you will be a frequent visitor.’

I smiled and kissed her again.

It was some hours later when we went downstairs.

‘Are you sure you do not want any of the other rooms redecorated?’ I asked her, as we entered the dining-parlour.

‘No, I like them just the way they are. They remind me of my first visit to Pemberley. ’ She walked over to the window and looked out. ‘It is a beautiful prospect.’

I agreed. The wooded hill was lovely, and the river sparkled as it wound its way through the valley. I love every tree and every blade of grass, and it warms me to know that she loves it, too.

‘What did you think when you first saw it?’ I asked her.

She smiled mischievously. ‘That I might have been the mistress of all this, if I had accepted you!’

‘And did you regret it?’

‘For a minute – until I remembered that I would not have been allowed to welcome my aunt and uncle here.’

‘I cannot believe I was ever so proud. If not for your aunt and uncle, we might never have met again. We will welcome them any time you wish to do so.’

I put my arms round her.

‘We must have them to stay soon. I have promised my aunt she can ride round the park in a phaeton and a pair of ponies. ’ She turned in the circle of my arms and stroked my cheek. ‘But we will not invite them just yet.’

Tuesday 18th November

We have been at Pemberley for a week, and Elizabeth and Georgiana are getting on together as well as I could have hoped. Georgiana is starting to lose some of her shyness through her nearness to Elizabeth, and although she is not as playful as Elizabeth, she has ventured to tease me on one or two occasions.

I finally feel I can be a brother to Georgiana again, and not a father and mother. She is growing up now, and with Elizabeth to guide me, I no longer worry that I do not understand young ladies. If I am ever in doubt, I have only to ask Elizabeth.

Life is a great deal easier for Georgiana, too, because she has a confidante as well as a sister in Elizabeth.

Thursday 20th November

Elizabeth received a letter from Lydia this morning, asking for help with some bills. I came upon her by chance as she was reading it in her bedroom. She looked up guiltily as I walked in.

‘Secrets?’ I asked.

She looked rueful.

‘It is from Lydia. She is so extravagant that she has exceeded her income again. She writes to me that it must be nice to be so rich, and she asks for my help.’

‘You will not give it to her?’ I saw her face. ‘You will.’

‘She is my sister, after all,’ she said.

‘Let her ask Jane.’

‘She has already asked Jane,’ said Elizabeth, her playfulness returning. ‘I feel she means to ask us each in turn.’

‘You should say no. Then she will learn to manage.’

‘Not Lydia! She will run up bills until the shopkeepers demand payment, and then she and Wickham will change lodgings and start all over again. Think of it this way, I am not helping Lydia, I am helping the shopkeepers she is cheating.’

With this she knew I would agree.

‘I never cease to wonder how it is that you and Jane turned out so well, when your other sisters turned out so ill,’ I said, going over to her and kissing her on the cheek.

‘Kitty is not so bad,’ said Elizabeth. ‘I was thinking of having her to stay with us. After our Christmas party next month, I am going to invite her to stay on. Some superior company will do much to influence her for the better.’

‘If you must, you must. I would rather have you to myself.’

‘She will not be indoors all the time. She will go for long walks with Georgiana,’ said Elizabeth.

‘Or long carriage rides,’ I said, kissing her on the lips.

‘Or picnics,’ said Elizabeth, kissing me in return.

‘My love, I had better lock the door.’

Friday 5th December

Elizabeth has ordered a phaeton and pair for Christmas.

Her aunt and uncle will be joining us, and they will be here in just over a fortnight. Elizabeth has persuaded me that I must invite my aunt, too. It is time to put an end to the hostilities, she says, and she is right. I cannot be on bad terms with Lady Catherine for ever.

Jane and Bingley are coming to stay, and they are bringing with them Caroline and Louisa. Mr and Mrs Bennet will also be coming with Mary and Kitty, and Lydia will be one of their party. I have reluctantly agreed to welcome her, but on condition that Wickham does not come with her. I will not have him at Pemberley, now or ever. Elizabeth understands. She has no wish to see him, and we both know it would be mortifying for Georgiana.

The two people we will not see are Mr and Mrs Collins. Charlotte is in an interesting condition and cannot travel. Elizabeth has reminded me to look for a living for Mr Collins, something better than the one he has at present.

‘A larger house for Charlotte,’ said Elizabeth, ‘and one with plenty to keep Mr Collins occupied. If there is something for him to do outside the house, perhaps some alms-houses to run, so much the better. And make sure the house has two pleasant rooms, so that Charlotte can have one as well as her husband.’

‘Very well, but I will not have them within an hour’s drive of Pemberley. I like Charlotte well enough, but not even your friendship with her can reconcile me to her husband.’

In this, Elizabeth and I are as one.

Saturday 13th December

Our guests will all be arriving on Monday. One more has been added to their number. Colonel Fitzwilliam will be coming with Lady Catherine and Anne.

Monday 15th December

At last, they are here. Bingley and Jane were the first to arrive, bringing with them Caroline and Louisa.

‘Mrs Darcy,’ said Caroline, with an excess of civility.

‘How pleased I am to see you again. ’ She smiled as though she and Elizabeth had always been the best of friends, then turned to me. ‘Mr Darcy, how well you look,’ she said. ‘And Georgiana. How you have grown! It must be this Derbyshire air. It is so invigorating.’

Louisa was less vocal but greeted us pleasantly. Mr Hurst merely grunted before retiring to the billiard room. Caroline and Louisa went upstairs, led there by Georgiana, and Elizabeth and I were free to talk to Jane and Bingley.

‘So Lydia is coming?’ asked Bingley, as we all sat down in the drawing-room.

‘Yes, she is, though not her husband,’ said Elizabeth.

‘You do not think it wrong of me not to invite him?’ she asked Jane.

‘Dear Lizzy, of course not. It is not as though he and Lydia have nowhere else to go. They have been to stay with us twice already. It is cheaper for them to stay with us than to live on their own. They gave up one set of lodgings before coming to us, so that they would not have to pay any rent, and then they took another set when they returned.’

‘How very distressing,’ said Elizabeth.

‘Not to Lydia. She is the same as ever, exuberant and high spirited. She thrives on the change.’

‘The next time they come, I think I will have the servants say we are not at home!’ said Bingley.

‘We are too convenient at Netherfield, that is the trouble,’ said Jane. ‘They visit Longbourn, and then they come to us when they have outstayed their welcome there. And it is not only Lydia who visits us. It seems that every day my mother finds some reason to call. We are thinking of taking a house elsewhere.’