I was polite, however, and welcomed her to Highbury society.

"I would love to stay all day, but my caro sposo insists I return Miss Woodhouse’s visit," said she.

"I am looking forward to seeing Hartfield. Mr. E tells me it is very like Maple Grove. Did I mention Maple Grove? My brother-in-law, Mr. Suckling’s place?"

Mrs. Weston assured her she had, and Weston bowed her out of the room.

"A very elegantly dressed woman," said Mrs. Weston.

"Hah!"

She looked at me in surprise.

"That is exactly what Emma said!" I told her.

Mrs. Weston had the goodness to smile, and I knew our views of Mrs. Elton coincided.


Wednesday 31 March

I was eager to find out about Mrs. Elton’s visit to Hartfield, and I had an opportunity this evening when I dined with Emma and her father. Whilst Mr. Woodhouse fretted that he had not paid Mrs. Elton a visit - "A bride, you know" - Emma reassured him that his health would be his excuse.

I could get very little from her concerning Mrs. Elton, and she said no more than yesterday, but that in itself told me everything I needed to know.

"You do not like Mrs. Elton," I remarked. "So you have been subjected to her talk about her caro sposo and Mr. E as well, have you?"

"I have, though I think it is very unfair of you to ridicule her for demonstrating her knowledge of Italian - and the alphabet," she said to me saucily.

"I have no objection to her knowledge of either, but I have a lively dread of her displaying such knowledge in the most vulgar way possible. How Elton can stand it I do not know."

"He is in love. Allowances must be made," she said.

"Hah!"

She does not think that Elton is in love any more than I do.

"I am glad to see that your taste, which erred in singling out Harriet, and again in rejecting Miss Fairfax, and yet again in singling out that puppy Frank Churchill - yes, well - your taste, in this case, was not at fault," I told her. "Mrs. Elton is a vainglorious woman with a small mind who thinks she is bringing refinement to a quiet corner of the country, when she is bringing only change."

"At last, we think the same on something!" said Emma. "No, pray do not spoil it," she said, when I opened my mouth to speak again. "Let me savour the moment."

Impossible girl! But out of the goodness of my heart, I let her have her own way.

April

Friday 2 April

I was glad to find that Miss Fairfax had extended her visit, and would not be returning to London so soon as was expected.

"We are so glad, Mr. Knightley," said Miss Bates. "We are to have her for a full three months. She still does not look well. No, Jane, my love, you do not, though you protest you are very well indeed. When you were altering my gloves for me - such wonderful gloves, Mr. Knightley, quite the warmest I have ever worn, and bought from Ford’s, but just a little big around the wrist, and Jane kindly offered to take them in for me, as she was mending Mother’s petticoat anyway, and who should walk in but Mr. Longridge. A very kind gentleman, Mother is quite besotted with him - yes, you are, Mother, you know you are, for he comes and sits here for an hour or two together, and we are always glad of company, Mr. Knightley. He has asked me to give him my opinion on another house, Whitestones, you will know it Mr. Knightley, the Dodds have been renting it out but their tenants have left and they have decided to sell it. It seems a fine house to me but it is perhaps a little large for a single gentlemen. And then there is another house I have promised to see next week, Southdean, a pretty house with a stream, you know. I have always liked that house. It is not so grand as Whitestones, but I often used to think, when I was a girl, if I could choose a house to live in, that would be it. I painted it once, though not as well as Jane, she sketched it when she was eleven years old, do you remember, Jane? I believe I still have the picture somewhere, though I cannot remember where. I remember Mother saying to me…."

She paused for breath, and evidently did not remember what she had been saying, which gave me an opportunity to ask Miss Fairfax: "Will you be joining the Campbells again when your stay in Highbury is finished?"

"Yes for a little while. But I would rather not think of that," she remarked.

I said no more, as I did not wish to distress her. I wish I could offer her a home at the Abbey, but it is impossible.

"Oh, Jane, I know what I forgot to say. I meant to mention it but Mr. Knightley’s visit put it out of my mind - so kind of you, Mr. Knightley! So obliging! - I sent a reply to Mrs. Elton for you, you were out when her message arrived. She asks you to tea. Such an elegant woman! Such refinement! I am sure I never saw a better woman in my life, and it is always good to have a bride in the neighbourhood, is it not, Mr. Knightley? Jane must want to be with younger people, and not always shut up with her grandmother and her aunt, though I am sure her grandmother is the best woman in the world..."

"And so is her aunt," said Miss Fairfax with an affectionate smile.

"Oh, Jane, my love, I am sure I do not know - well - have you finished your sewing?"

And so she went on, spreading goodwill with every word but saying very little. Despite Miss

Fairfax’s affectionate smile, I could tell that her aunt’s constant chatter wearied her.

I did not envy her. A choice of spending an hour with Mrs. Elton, or an hour with her relations, was not a happy one.

I only wish Emma would take more notice of her. An afternoon at Hartfield would be far more enjoyable for Miss Fairfax than an afternoon at the vicarage or at home.


Saturday 3 April

There has been a heartening piece of news, one to gladden everybody in Highbury, and one to make me forget my own problems for a while. It is as I suspected. Mrs. Weston is expecting a child! The Westons have known for some time, but have told no one. Now, however, they have broken their silence, knowing it could not be disguised for much longer.

Emma was smiling as I met her just outside Randalls. I was coming out of the gate as she, accompanied by Harriet, was going in.

"This is good news!" I said.

"Very good news," she agreed.

"You will have to make some more caps."

"I have started one already, and so has Harriet!"

"Very well done," I said.

Harriet blushed and murmured something I did not catch.

We parted, I to go on business, and Emma to go in to see her friend.


Monday 5 April

Today was like spring, warm and sunny. I rode round the estate with William Larkins and we made sure that everything was in order. The farms were flourishing, and it did my heart good to see them. There is nothing like being in England in the spring.

Weston felt the same. He was very expansive this evening, and was more than usually talkative when I joined him for dinner.

Emma was there, and looking well. We spoke of many things, including Miss Fairfax.

"I wonder that Jane Fairfax spends so much time with Mrs. Elton," said Emma.

"We cannot suppose that she has any great enjoyment at the vicarage, my dear Emma," said Mrs.

Weston, "but it is better than being always at home."

"Another thing must be taken into consideration, too," I said. "Mrs. Elton does not talk to Miss Fairfax as she speaks of her. And besides the operation of this, as a general principle, you may be sure that Miss Fairfax awes Mrs. Elton by her superiority both of mind and manner. Such a woman as Jane Fairfax probably never fell in Mrs. Elton’s way before - and no degree of vanity can prevent her acknowledging her own comparative littleness in action, if not in consciousness."

I tried to do full justice to Miss Fairfax’s virtues, because I knew I could never marry her.

"I know how highly you think of Jane Fairfax," said Emma anxiously. "And yet…" She stopped, as if she did not know how to continue, then went on: "And yet, perhaps, you may hardly be aware yourself how highly it is. The extent of your admiration may take you by surprise some day or other."

Although I had had a similar idea myself, I did not want her to know it, so I bent and fastened the button of my gaiter to prevent her seeing my confusion.

"Oh! are you there?" I asked. "But you are miserably behindhand. Mr. Cole gave me a hint of it six weeks ago. That will never be, however, I can assure you. Miss Fairfax, I dare say, would not have me if I were to ask her; and I am very sure I shall never ask her."

"You are not vain, Mr. Knightley. I will say that for you," Emma replied.

To my surprise, she was not angry that I would not fall in with her plans. She was relieved.

"So you have been settling that I should marry Jane Fairfax," I said curiously, wondering exactly what had been going through her mind.

"No indeed I have not. You have scolded me too much for matchmaking for me to presume to take such a liberty with you. Oh no, upon my word I have not the smallest wish for your marrying Jane Fairfax or Jane anybody. You would not come in and sit with us in this comfortable way, if you were married."

Ah. So that was it. She liked my company, and would miss it if it were gone. I thought of Routledge and his words to me in London. Marry Emma! I had said it was a ludicrous idea, but was it?

I had tried to take an interest in Miss Larch, and I had failed. I had tried to take an interest in Mrs. Lovage, and I had failed. And I had tried to take an interest in Jane Fairfax, and I had failed. But I had never failed to take an interest in Emma, and I did so without even trying.

Why had I not seen it before? I never thought of anyone but Emma. But then my spirits sank as I realized that Emma could think of no one but Frank Churchill.

I could fiddle with my gaiter no longer.

"Jane Fairfax is a very charming young woman - but not even Jane Fairfax is perfect," I said. "She has a fault. She has not the open temper which a man would wish for in a wife."

The open temper that Emma has.

"You soon silenced Mr. Cole, I suppose?" she said.

"Yes, very soon. He gave me a quiet hint; I told him he was mistaken; he asked my pardon and said no more. Cole does not want to be wiser or wittier than his neighbours," I said, with a wry smile. "Jane Fairfax has feeling," I said, to give her her due, for I did not want Emma and Mrs. Weston to think I was slighting her. "I do not accuse her of want of feeling. Her sensibilities, I suspect, are strong, and her temper excellent in its power of forbearance, patience, self-control." An image of Jane rose before me, and I could not help my real feelings from coming through. "But it wants openness. She is reserved, more reserved, I think, than she used to be: And I love an open temper. No; "til Cole alluded to my supposed attachment, it had never entered my head," I added, for I did not want to harm Jane’s reputation by letting anyone know I had thought of marrying her, but had rejected the idea. "I saw Jane Fairfax and conversed with her, with admiration and pleasure always; but with no thought beyond."

Emma and Mrs. Weston exchanged glances, and I felt I had spent enough time talking about Jane Fairfax. Indeed, I had spent enough time talking altogether, and I soon excused myself, returning to the Abbey, where William Larkins was waiting for me, with the accounts.


Wednesday 7 April

John is to be with us shortly, with his two sons, and it will not be a moment too soon. My only regret is that John cannot stay. He will be here for a day, but then he must go back to London. We must be grateful that he is leaving the boys with us. It will provide us with some welcome company; company, moreover, that is more to my taste than the present Highbury company. I am growing tired of Weston’s talk about his son. Never a day seems to go by without him having a letter from his son, or expecting a letter, or wishing for a letter, and with it goes a wish that his son might pay us another visit. He seems to be obsessed with the young man, and Mrs. Weston is just as bad!

And if I am not hearing about Frank Churchill, I am seeing the Eltons!

I seem to meet them everywhere I go. The whole of Highbury is giving parties for them. Mrs. Elton can do nothing but talk of her sister and her sister’s barouche-landau, and if I hear another comment about Mr. Suckling and Maple Grove, I am liable to say something I shall regret.