"I am glad you approve of what I have done," he was saying to her as I entered the room.

From Emma’s expression, I could see that she did not approve at all. However, she could not say so, without revealing her reason, which was that she did not like Mrs. Elton. And as that could not be said, she gave in with a good grace.

"Never mind," I said to her, once Weston had departed. "It will be a large party, and you need not talk to Mrs. Elton."

"No," she agreed. "I would much rather talk to you instead."

Perhaps I would have been more heartened by her preference, if I had not known of her thorough dislike of Mrs. Elton.

I was encouraged by her lack of enthusiasm for the trip, however. Frank Churchill will certainly be invited, and as she does not seem to be eager for the outing, then perhaps she is not as set on Frank Churchill as I had supposed. Is there still hope for me? The next few days will show me for sure.


Saturday 12 June

A most annoying day. I met Mrs. Elton on my way to Hartfield, and I could not avoid talking to her.

Her follies put me out of temper, so that by the time I reached Hartfield I was in a bad mood.

"What is the matter?" asked Emma.

"Nothing. Everything." And before I knew what I was doing, I was telling her all about it.

"I have just seen Mrs. Elton. She was telling me that one of her carriage-horses has become lame, and so the trip must be postponed. “Is it not vexatious, Knightley?” she asked me."

"At least she did not call you Mr. K," said Emma.

"Hah!" I felt my mood lighten a little. "She bemoaned her fate so volubly that I despaired of ever getting away from her, and so, in an effort to divert her thoughts, I said, humorously, that she must come to Donwell to visit my strawberry-beds."

"She did not agree!" said Emma.

"She did!" I began to laugh. "She said she should like it of all things. I could not believe she wanted an outing to my strawberry-beds!"

"She wanted an outing to Donwell Abbey, rather," said Emma.

"And she has achieved her goal," I said ruefully.

"If the carriage-horse recovers in time, she can arrive in state."

"No, she has already decided on her mode of transport. She has decided she is going to arrive on a donkey."

"A donkey?" asked Emma in astonishment.

"You are to say nothing," I warned her, feeling the laughter welling up in me again. "She wants everyone to come on a donkey: Miss Fairfax, Miss Bates…"

"And Mr. Elton?"

"No. Her caro sposo is going to walk beside her."

"I think it an excellent plan," she said gravely. "We must all have donkeys. I am sure Miss Bates would enjoy the experience, and Mrs. Goddard would look very well in the saddle - if, indeed, donkeys wear saddles. I mean to purchase a donkey this afternoon, and I hope I may not disgrace you by my seat when you walk next to me, Mr. K."

"Oh, Emma!" I said. "Don"t…" marry Churchill, marry me, I was going to say. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but at that moment, Harriet walked into the room.

I had never been so dismayed to see her in my life.

"I have found the silk you asked for - oh, Mr. Knightley," she said.

I believe she knew she had interrupted something important, for she blushed.

"Thank you, Harriet. Mr. Knightley has come with excellent news. We are to spend a day at Donwell Abbey, picking strawberries."

"Oh, that will be lovely," said Harriet, her eyes shining as she looked at me.

I was even more sure that she suspected my secret, for her shining eyes indicated that she expected me to propose to Emma at the Abbey.

Before she could say anything further, Mr. Woodhouse joined us, and Emma turned to him solicitously.

"Is Perry not with you?"

"No, my dear, he has had to go on his rounds. He is very busy. I am not surprised. His advice is sought everywhere."

"What did he say to you?" she asked.

"He was very pleased. There has been some improvement since the last time he saw me. He congratulated me, and told me that my diet played a large part in my constitution. If only I could persuade you to eat more gruel, I am sure you would be better for it," he said.

"I believe I will join you in a bowl tonight. But what do you think? We have a treat in store. Mr. Knightley has invited us to the Abbey," she said.

"Ah, Mr. Knightley, I am a sad invalid," he said, shaking his head as though I had invited him to his own funeral.

"But there has been some improvement, Perry said so, and it is not so very far to the Abbey," Emma said. "Mr. Knightley will do everything he can to make you comfortable."

I added my pleas, and at last he said he would venture out. Emma was very pleased, as he has not been to the Abbey in two years, and I was pleased to have given her pleasure.

Mr. and Mrs. Weston arrived shortly afterwards, and accepted an invitation to join us. Weston said he would invite Frank for me, and it was impossible for me to refuse his offer, but I consoled myself with the thought that his son might not come.

We settled on the twenty-fourth for the visit. It cannot be sooner, for I will have things to arrange.

Mr. Woodhouse’s comfort must be provided for, and the Abbey must be made ready for guests.


Monday 14 June

I called at Hartfield this morning, hoping to speak to Emma, but she had gone out. I walked into Highbury on business and called on Miss Bates. I was hoping to see Emma, but although she had called, she was no longer there. I listened to Miss Bates’s chatter with half a mind.

Longridge has chosen a house at last, it seems. He has settled on Southdean, the house of which

Miss Bates herself is particularly fond. It has a large garden, with a stream, well-proportioned rooms, and comfortable servants" quarters. I think he will be an addition to Highbury society.


Tuesday 15 June

Robert Martin came to see me on a matter of business this morning, and I was struck again with his loyalty to Harriet. He did not, like Mr. Elton, rush out to find a wife as soon as his hand was refused. He is a good-enough-looking man, with a prosperous living, and there are a number of young ladies in Highbury who would be flattered by his attentions, but I am convinced he still thinks of Harriet. He has read the books she recommended, though goodness knows what pleasure or information he has received from The Romance of the Forest, and he has encouraged his sisters to remain friendly with her. It is just a pity that he could not have rescued her from the gypsies, because if it had fallen to him to be her champion, then I am sure his work would have been done.

But he is a sensible man. He can see that Harriet belongs with him, and I am convinced he is biding his time.

In this, I hope to do him a good turn. Abbey Mill Farm is plainly visible from the Abbey, and when Harriet comes strawberry-picking, I hope to draw her attention to it.

Further than this I will not go; but Emma has meddled in separating them, and I think I may be forgiven for meddling in some small way to bring them back together.


Tuesday 22 June

I have had no success in finding Emma alone this week. She has either been out walking, or with Harriet, or with her father. But I must speak to her. When she comes to the Abbey, I mean to offer her my arm and lead her away from the others. Once in a secluded corner I can speak to her, tentatively at first, to see if I can discover whether she has irrevocably given her heart to Churchill, and then, if she has not, I mean to ask her to marry me.


Wednesday 23 June

I was walking into Highbury when I passed Mrs. Elton by chance. She and her husband were taking the air. I wondered if he knew about the plan for a donkey, and that he was expected to walk beside it.

"Look, Mr. E, here is Knightley!" she said.

I could not ignore her greeting, and bade her good morning.

"What do you think, Knightley?" she asked me. "The carriage-horse has recovered. My caro sposo and I are planning a trip to Box Hill on the twenty-fifth, the day after we come to Donwell. I hope you will join us. You and I must lead the way, Knightley. We must not let this good weather pass us by."

I could not readily think of an excuse, so I agreed. If, for any reason, the day at the Abbey does not give me a chance to speak to Emma, then a day at Box Hill will surely do so.


Thursday 24 June

I was relieved when I awoke to a day of bright sunshine, knowing it would make the strawberry-picking so much more enjoyable. Even so, I ordered a fire lit in the sitting-room for Mr. Woodhouse, for he feels the cold, even in summer.

I helped Emma settle him when he arrived, and he was happy to sit with Mrs. Weston, who claimed she was tired, and that she would much rather remain indoors. I gave them a collection of medals, engravings, cameos, corals and shells to look through and then went outside with my other guests.

The strawberry-picking began. Berries were picked and eaten, their relative flavours and textures discussed, and favourite varieties were remarked upon. Mrs. Elton gave her opinion decidedly, whilst Elton danced attendance and Weston worried about his son.

"I thought Frank would be here by now," he said on more than one occasion, looking at his watch.

"He has had time, I am sure. I thought we would have seen him here already."

I took my chance and walked up to Emma, but to my frustration, Mrs. Elton was before me, and was soon telling Emma that, as the two leading ladies of the district, they must find a position for Jane Fairfax without delay.

I had no desire to join their conversation, and I was about to join Mr. Woodhouse indoors when I noticed that Harriet appeared at something of a loss. Seeing an opportunity to help Robert Martin, I went over to her and engaged her in conversation. I asked her how she liked the weather, and what she thought of the Abbey, and as I talked to her, I led her away from the others, down the lime-walk. She went with me readily, and as we stood together at the end of the lime-walk, we looked out over Abbey Mill Farm.

With this view in sight, I brought the conversation round to the Westons, and said how happy their marriage had made them.

"Yes, indeed," she said shyly.

"The Eltons, too, seem happy," I said.

She blushed, for the Eltons brought back unwelcome memories, but they served my purpose, and she admitted that they seemed happy, too.

Then, having turned her attention towards matrimony, I chose my next words carefully, and without actually asking her outright, I tried to discover if her affections were engaged.

She murmured something I did not catch, but her very shyness seemed to imply that they were. I pressed on, pointing out that Abbey Mill Farm was well-run and prosperous, and drawing her attention to the fine animals, the healthy orchards and the well-tended fields. She listened to everything I said with rapt attention. She blushed and murmured in just the way a young girl in love ought to do, and I felt that Robert Martin would be made happy before very long.

I would have said more, but that Emma joined us at that moment and I could not think of Harriet any longer, except to wish she would take herself off and leave us alone. She did not do so, and, Mrs. Weston coming out, I had to master my frustration at so much unwanted company and play the host.

"I hope Frank has not had an accident," said Mrs. Weston. "I thought he would have been here by now. I am worried about his horse."

"The black mare? As safe a horse as ever I saw," said Weston, coming up. "Depend on it, it is his aunt."

I had no chance to speak to Emma alone before lunch, but afterwards she declared she would stay indoors with her father. I saw my chance, and having seen to the comfort of my guests outside, I returned to the Abbey. I had resolved to call her out of the room on some pretext so that I could see her for a few minutes alone, for I was growing weary of waiting for such an opportunity to arise. As I walked through the hall, I rehearsed my speech:

Emma, we have known each other a long time…. Emma, I must speak to you….

I cannot stay silent any longer. Emma, I am in love with you….

I shook my head. None of those openings satisfied me, and I decided I would have to trust to the genius of the moment. I opened the door…and found that Churchill had arrived.