Лаура Миллер - My Butterfly

I glanced at the fire for a moment and then returned my eyes to her, but her gaze was already planted on me. She wasn’t smiling anymore, and her face had grown sincere.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” she asked.

I was speechless, while I thought about her question.

This girl must be completely and utterly out of her mind. Of course, I was serious. Why wouldn’t I be serious? She was gorgeous; she was smart; she thought Jeff was an idiot; and she was the sexiest woman I had ever met. Done. Done. Done. And done.

“Jules, I was always serious,” I finally said.

“Will, you threw rocks at me in third grade.”

I couldn’t help my smile turning up a little more. I tried to hide it by sending my eyes to the ground at my feet.

“It was out of love, I promise,” I assured her, as I met her eyes again. “You could think of it like Cupid’s arrows, only they were rocks.”

She pursed her lips, and her pout refused to waver. Could I kiss her now?

“No?” I asked. “Not Cupid’s arrows?”

And the pout disappeared.

“I guess I just had a funny way of showing it back then,” I said.

“Will, you purposely got my favorite volleyball stuck up in the gym’s rafters,” she went on.

I laughed once and shook my head.

“You still remember that?” I asked.

She glared at me through her sexy, green eyes.

“It was last week, Will,” she said.

I took a deep breath and then slowly let it out, allowing my eyes to come to rest in hers.

“Can I just take you to Donna’s — to make up for all my past wrong-doings?” I asked again.

She hesitated as silent seconds drew on.

“You know, you kind of owe me,” she said, as a soft smile found her face.

My heart fluttered, and I couldn’t help but smile too, but before I could get another word out, a group of girls appeared on the other side of the fire from out of nowhere. They were giggling and seemed to have no clue as to what epic moment they were interrupting.

“Will, sing us a song,” a girl’s voice commanded.

My eyes reluctantly followed Julia’s gaze to Rachel, standing directly across from us. I found a piece of bark on the log I was sitting on then and pulled it free.

“Rach, I can’t sing,” I said, throwing the bark into the fire.

“What?” Rachel asked. “Then why was THIS in your car?”

She pulled out an object from the dark shadows behind her and passed it around the edge of the fire. I knew immediately what it was.

“My car?” I asked.

“Yep, that little SUV next to all of those other cars in the field back there,” Rachel said, pointing into the darkness behind her.

She was wearing a proud smile. I kept my stare on her.

“It’s a truck, Rachel,” I said.

“What?” I heard Rachel ask. “Does it have a bed? No. It’s definitely an SUV, Will. But don’t worry; SUVs can be just as manly, even if they do have girly names.”

She playfully rolled her eyes, and I sent her a sideways smirk and returned my attention to Julia.

Julia was giving me a strange look too now, but I brushed it, along with Rachel’s comment, off.

“Jules, remind me to lock up next time,” I said under my breath.

The object finally reached me, and I extended my arm and took a hold of its neck. And with my other hand, I grabbed its body.

I smiled then and shook my head.

“Play us something,” Rachel demanded again.

I let a steady breath pass through my lips as my eyes fell back onto Julia. She was smiling up at me with that beautiful, sexy smile of hers.

“The girls want a song,” she said.

I let my eyes linger in hers, forgetting for a second the audience that had just joined us, before I glanced back down at the strings on the guitar and felt my grin widen.

“Okay,” I softly conceded, shaking my head.

I tickled the strings for a moment and then found a melody. It was the same one that poured through Julia’s jeep’s stereo every time she turned it on. I might have learned it a little while back. I figured there would come a time when Jules wanted to hear it and she didn’t have her CD. Plus, it reminded me of her, and it felt good to sing it. And now, it was the first song that came to my mind.

Eventually, I started in on the words as well, and after a few moments, I heard the girls on the other side of the fire chime in. They didn’t seem to know all of the words, but they tried anyway. I caught Julia’s stare and smiled. She returned an almost-bashful grin.

I tickled the guitar’s strings until the melody ended. Then, there was a strange, awkward silence before Rachel said something first.

“Wow, Will,” Rachel exclaimed. “I’m not going to lie. I was really expecting a voice from the boy who starts a band in his garage only to still be in his garage forty years later with a beer belly and a mullet. I wasn’t expecting a rock star.”

My eyes instinctively darted toward Julia but then hit the ground just as quickly as they had found her.

“Well, I can see that maybe you two have something new to talk about, so…we’re just going to get some more hot chocolate,” Rachel said before motioning for the other girls to follow her away from the fire.

It was only moments before Julia and I were alone with the fire’s flames again. Then, I listened for seconds to the fire’s soft popping before Jules spoke.

“Will, that was really good.”

My face turned up toward hers.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah, really,” she said, starting to laugh. “Will, all these years…How didn’t I know that you could play the guitar — or sing? And that good?”

I returned my eyes to the flames, as a slight grin found my face.

“Not many people do know, I guess,” I confessed. “I’m pretty good at keeping secrets around here.”

I winked at her then and propped the guitar against the log beside me.

“So, I see,” she said, smiling wider.

“Do you write songs too?” she asked.

My gaze stopped in her eyes. I wasn’t quite expecting her question.

“I try, when I get a chance,” I said. “Writing’s the best part really. It’s the words that change people’s lives in the end, right?”

She paused, as if she wasn’t expecting my answer.

“Hmm, I guess that makes sense,” she said, eventually. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

I laughed once.

“I’ll have to write a song for you sometime,” I said.

I wanted my words to have come out gentle and honest, but I was pretty sure they just came out cheesy.

I watched her smile and then try to hide it.

“Do you write a song for every girl you have a crush on?” she sarcastically asked, returning her attention to the fire.

“Well, I will once I write one for you,” I said.

She let go of her smile and then looked back at me, locking her stare in my eyes before she spoke again.

“I’m pretty sure it’s brown-eyed girl, by the way,” she said.

Her voice was playful again.

“What?” I asked.

“In the song, you said green-eyed girl,” she said, looking away again.

I hesitated but kept my eyes on her.

“Let me see,” I said, as I gently touched her chin and turned her face back toward mine.

“Nope, pretty sure it’s green-eyed girl,” I said.

I watched as a slight smile lingered on her lips.

“Will Stephens, what am I going to do with you?” she softly asked.

I grinned wider and took a deep breath. I could think of plenty.

“Jules, I’m sorry about the rocks, your ball and every other stupid thing I’ve ever done,” I said, lowering my hand from her chin.

Her eyes fell toward the ground, and she laughed.

“It’s okay,” she said. “You get the ball down for me someday, and we’ll call it even.”

I slowly nodded my head.

“Okay,” I said. “But I’m not gonna stop askin’, you know?”

Her eyes quickly found mine again.

“I considered that,” she said. “And what if I never say yes?”

I sucked in a deep breath.

“Well, then I suppose I would have spent my life doin’ something worthwhile,” I said. “My parents can’t be disappointed in that.”

“Will,” she protested.

I watched her toss her head back and laugh again, then lift her eyes toward mine, catching my stare. My heart was racing. My breaths were short. I wanted to kiss her. I was going to. I memorized the short path to her lips, and I closed my eyes and tried to remember the path I had just memorized.

“Will,” a voice suddenly called out from the darkness behind us.

The voice was already annoying and unwanted. And before I could even acknowledge it, a skinny figure was squeezing himself into the small space on the log between Julia and me.

Damn it, Jeff.

“Will, those were Ben’s lights, not mine,” he quickly informed me.

He didn’t even bother looking at me as he spoke.

“Here, Julia, here’s some hot chocolate,” the lanky boy announced, facing Julia and presenting her with a steaming, Styrofoam cup.

My eyes shot back toward the orange flames as I scooted over and ran my hands against my thighs, trying to recover from my thwarted move.

“Thanks, Jeff,” I heard Jules say.

Her voice resurrected my attention, and I turned my face back toward hers. Jeff had already resorted to poking a stick into the fire’s ashes and had, by now, all but faded into my background again. I watched Jules’s eyes follow the flames for a couple of silent moments. Then, suddenly, her eyes found mine, and I caught her soft lips slowly turning up at their sides. Her smile was different this time. In fact, this might be her best — forgiving and curious and sexy — though I loved them all. I kept my gaze locked on hers, and I smiled too. If I didn’t get my yes tonight, I’d happily settle for this.

We turned the corner, and I saw her. And instantly, I wondered if I jumped off the wagon, would anyone notice me gone? She smiled and waved. I waved back. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Her hair was down and in those blond curls she always wore. Her green eyes matched the jacket she was wearing — the jacket everyone was wearing. I seriously gauged the distance from the wagon bed to the street and then tried to guess at what rate of speed the tractor trailer was going. But by the time I looked back up to find her, she had disappeared into the sea of green. I sighed, but a smile quickly returned. It couldn’t take that long to loop around town.

* * *

The tractor and wagon pulled catawampus into the school’s parking lot, and fourteen guys and a couple of coaches jumped off. My feet hit the ground, and my eyes hit the crowd. Where was she?

“One state championship and one championship parade down,” I heard a voice call out from behind me.

I turned and felt the corners of my mouth start to rise.

“Julia, I wasn’t sure you’d come,” I said.

She laughed and glanced at the big crowd behind us.

“I didn’t want to be the only one who missed it,” she said, still smiling.

My eyes turned down to the ground at my feet. There was something about this girl that made me nervous every time I was around her.

“You hungry?” I asked her, as I kicked a rock back and forth on the asphalt.

I didn’t hear anything, so I looked up. She was still smiling at me, but her smile looked less soft and more suspicious. I stared at her staring at me. If this were some kind of staring competition and the winner got his way, I was determined to win.

Just then, her smile widened, and she nodded her head.

I stood there dumbfounded. I was pretty sure that that meant yes—even in girl talk, but I couldn’t be certain.

Her eyes faltered for a moment but then returned to mine, and as if she had been reading my mind, her next word was all the confirmation I needed.

“Okay,” she softly said.

“Really?” I asked.

There was a part of me that felt as if she were pulling my leg.

She nodded her head again.

I stared at her for another, full second. Then, I quickly scooped her up into my arms.

“Will, what on earth are you doing?” she squealed.

She was laughing, so I figured I was okay.

I hurried over to my truck, pulled open the passenger’s door and gently set her down onto the seat. Then, I closed the door and ran over to my side and threw myself behind the wheel.