She gave him a quick smile. “Exactly.”

They fell silent for a long stretch of trail, the only sounds the horses’ hooves and the occasional cry of a bird. Halfway up the sizable hill, Grey said abruptly, “I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day about anger. I hadn’t realized how angry I was until you said that. Now I’m afraid of what I might do if I lose control. So if I’m about to do something murderous, hit me with a rock. Break my arm. Block the blood to my brain. Do whatever you must to keep me from hurting someone.”

“Very well, I will,” she agreed after she got over her surprise. “Unless you’re damaging someone who deserves it. Even Père Laurent thought that your Sergeant Gaspard deserved his fate.”

“He did. But if you hadn’t asked me not to kill the guard, I would have broken his neck as well, and I don’t know if he deserved killing,” Grey said flatly.

No wonder he was concerned for his sanity, but he underestimated himself. “The fact that you care whether he deserved execution bodes well for your character.”

“Now I care a little,” he said gravely. “But when I was in full fury, I would have killed him whether it was just or not. Ten years in hell have ruined my character.”

Choosing her words, she said, “Of course ten years in prison changed you, but you had twenty years before then, and the most important were the earliest. That is when your character was formed. The Jesuits say that if you give them a boy for his first seven years, he is theirs for life. Did your parents see that you were raised well? Were you taught honesty and responsibility?”

“Yes, and kindness as well,” he said slowly. “I hope you’re right that my character was formed then, because I don’t know whether I still have those qualities. That’s why I asked you to stop me if I lose control.”

“I’d rather you worked on your anger yourself,” she said frankly. “With your Hindu fighting skills and strength, I would surely lose any fight unless I took you by surprise.”

His brows arched. “I suspect that you’ve had more practical experience fighting than I, and that you know lots of wicked tricks.”

She had to laugh. “You’re right, I do know a number of wicked tricks. It helps that most men don’t expect a woman to fight, much less fight well.”

“You sound like a woman who has done a great deal of fighting.”

“I’ve been fighting my whole life,” she said, her voice flat.

Several minutes of riding later, he asked, “What will you do when peace comes?”

She shrugged. “I haven’t thought much about it since I never believed I’d survive that long. Perhaps I’ll find a quiet cottage by the sea and raise flowers and cats.”

“In England or in France?”

“England,” she said immediately, surprised by her certainty on a subject she’d never much considered. “France has too many dark memories.”

He nodded agreement. Once they were back in England, he’d never have to return to France unless he chose to.

Cassie had no choice, for without her private war with Napoleon, her life had no meaning. She’d return again and again until the war ended.

Or until she died.

By the time they reached the tiny hut near the summit of the highest hill, Grey had learned two things. The first was that he hadn’t forgotten how to ride despite ten years of never going near a horse. His body remembered how to sit, how to control his mount.

The second thing he’d learned was that riding required the use of muscles he’d forgotten he possessed. Despite the rest breaks, every muscle and joint in his body was complaining by late afternoon.

The track had narrowed so Cassie had led for the last couple of hours. The blasted woman seemed tireless. She had an elegant back, though, and she rode beautifully. He enjoyed watching her.

He’d stopped feeling guilty about inappropriate thoughts for a female twice his age. She was proof that a woman could be alluring no matter how many years she had. A good thing she was capable of tossing him into the nearest wall if he behaved badly.

Would he know what to do with a willing female when the time came? He supposed if he could still ride a horse, he’d be able to ride a woman. He’d find out once he was back in England. For now, he and his guide needed to concentrate on traveling quickly and not being noticed.

The hut was by a jagged outcropping of rock, just as Romain Boyer had described. Cassie halted in front. The hut was small, large enough for perhaps four people to sleep if they liked each other well. A lean-to had been added on one side for horses, and the other side boasted a pile of wood. “I’m glad to see firewood,” she said as she dismounted. “It’s going to be a very cold night.”

Grey tried not to groan when he swung from Achille’s broad back. “I don’t mind the cold, but my aching body is likely to stiffen like a board by morning.”

“I have some liniment that’s good for sore muscles.” She led her pony to the lean-to and started to bed Thistle down for the night.

“You are a remarkably useful woman to have around.” He tethered Achille under the lean-to and removed the saddle. He was becoming rather fond of the old boy.

“My fairy godmother bestowed practical gifts like efficiency and endurance rather than beauty, charm, or golden hair,” Cassie said dryly.

He wasn’t sure what to say, so he said nothing. He doubted she would be flattered if he told her she had a beautiful back. Even though it was true.

Cassie the Fox was the perfect travel partner, Grey decided as he rolled into his blanket that night. She was relaxing to be with and fulfilled his desire for companionship while asking very little of him. Which was good, because his camping skills were nonexistent. While she prepared supper and hot tea, all he’d had to do was forage for more firewood to replace what they used from the woodpile.

On the other side of the hut, Cassie wrapped her blanket around herself. She was all of about four feet away from him. “Sleep well,” she murmured. “Tomorrow’s ride should be easier.”

“Every day is a new adventure,” he replied. “Tomorrow’s will be discovering if my seat is too sore to sit a saddle.”

Her laughter swiftly turned into the soft, regular breathing of sleep. He was so tired that he thought he’d sleep easily, too, but his mind stubbornly refused to slow down.

Cassie might think herself lacking in beauty, but he found her increasingly alluring. With nothing else to distract him, all he could think about was her.

He rolled onto his side facing away, but it was impossible to forget her presence. As the night wore on, he added wood to the flames in the primitive little fireplace. It barely took the chill off the air, but no matter. He was quite heated enough.

During the latter years of his captivity, passion had died and he’d felt like a eunuch. The idea had hardly bothered him when there were no women in his world except in increasingly distant memories. But now he was sharing a small space with an attractive woman whom he liked and admired, and all he could think of was how much he wanted to touch her.

He guessed it would be a long time before his craving for touch would be slaked. Greedily he remembered the hug she’d allowed when he had just been freed. She was all woman—soft and woman scented, but also strong. Efficient, but kind.

He couldn’t help but wonder how far her compassion would go. Would she lie with him from pity? He was so crazed with lust that he didn’t care what her motives might be. Pity would be fine if offered.

But his last shreds of sanity and honor wouldn’t let him roll across the hut to wake her and beg for the sweet solace of her body. She was the bravest woman he’d ever met, his savior, and she deserved better than to be pawed by a fool like him. If he tried, she’d probably emasculate him, and justly so.

He pulled his blanket tight and ordered his mind to sleep. Sleep.


Chapter 17

A cold night was improved by having a warm man in one’s bed. The large, stroking hand pulled Cassie from deep sleep to the edge of awareness and created a curl of desire that moved gently through her. Warm lips touched her throat and she stretched her neck into the kiss.

“Rob?” she murmured. She was wearing too many layers of clothing because of the cold, but that could be worked around. As his lips nibbled toward her ear, desire and wakefulness increased.

She turned her face toward him and his mouth covered hers hungrily. The kiss was deep and passionate. She loved the erotic brush of his beard on her face.

A beard? She jolted to full wakefulness when she realized that what she felt wasn’t the faint bristle of an overnight shadow, but a full-blown beard. Not Rob.

“Damnation!” She shoved hard at the body covering hers even before she recognized that it must be her traveling companion.

Grey gasped, then swore, “Merde!” as he hurled himself away from her. “Dear God in heaven, what was I doing? I swore to myself that I wouldn’t touch you!”

He drew a ragged breath. “I thought … I thought I was dreaming.” There was enough light from the embers on the hearth to illuminate the genuine horror on his face.

“Your dream was an active one,” she said acerbically.

“I am a beast!” His voice was agonized. “Please … please forgive me. I didn’t intend such insult. I’ll move outside for the rest of the night.”

“Wait!” She caught his arm as he started to rise. “This was regrettable, but not entirely surprising when we’re sharing tight quarters and you’ve been deprived of female companionship for so long. Any woman looks attractive.”

“You undervalue yourself,” he said tautly. “I’ve found you attractive from the beginning. Yes, I’m hungry for the embrace of a woman, but that alone wouldn’t have led me to assault you in my sleep.”

Taken aback, she asked, “How can you be interested in an old woman like me?”

“I’ve always liked females with something to say for themselves, and that’s more common among mature women.” He shook his head. “As heir to an earldom, I think I was giggled at by every brainless debutante in the ton. A woman like you, with strength and courage and intelligence, is a hundred times more attractive.”

He laid his hand over hers where it rested on his arm. “Which is why I bathed in an icy pond my first night out of prison, and why I’d best sleep outside now. There’s a reason why young people are chaperoned carefully. Being close to an attractive woman can destroy male judgment.”

She hesitated, knowing she could let him go outside and they’d never refer to this awkward incident again. But did she want him to leave? Her blood hammered with rising desire. Like Grey, she yearned for touch and intimacy.

And if he thought she was attractive despite her carefully maintained guise of age and drabness … well, she found him attractive despite the effects of his imprisonment. Recklessly she said, “Don’t leave.”

His arm became rigid under her hand and the air thickened with tension. “I would like nothing better than to lie with you. I don’t mind if it’s from pity, but it mustn’t be because I’ve coerced you.”

“I’ve lain with men for worse reasons than mutual pleasure and comfort.” She leaned forward and kissed him hungrily. Bedamned to restraint and good sense.

Now that they were awake and willing, sleepy fondling blazed into sharp, clear passion. His mouth was demanding, hot with need, arousing equal heat in her. Impatiently she drew him down onto her rumpled blanket.

“I may have forgotten how to do this,” he said gruffly.

She laughed as he loosened the bodice of her gown. “I doubt that.”

Grey might be half crazed with lust, but as with his riding, he remembered the skills of lovemaking even after ten years of deprivation. With her gown loose, he pulled down the shift to bare her breast. Her nipple tightened in the icy air, then tightened more when his warm lips captured it.

She caught her breath and arched into his kiss, her nails digging into the hard muscles of his back. His hand moved down her body, leaving fire wherever it touched despite her clothing.

He caressed her hip and thigh, then slipped his hand beneath her gown. His warm hand on her bare flesh made a wickedly erotic contrast to the cool air that flowed over her intimate parts. Then he banished the cold with deft, heated fingers.

She pulsed against him as he brought her to swift readiness. His breathing harsh, he undid his trousers, moved between her legs and entered her with a long groan of pleasure. For an instant he was still, every fiber of his body rigid. “I … I can’t last long.”

“Of course not,” she breathed as she rocked against him.