“Do you know what Mom told Ethan when he offered her some pastoral counseling? She told him to mind his own business.”

She lifted an eyebrow at him. “Ethan might not be the best person to offer counsel.”

“He’s her pastor!”

She barely resisted rolling her eyes. Instead, she patiently pointed out the obvious. “You and Ethan are both too involved personally to be counseling either one of them.”

“Yeah, I guess.” As he picked up his car keys from the counter, he frowned. “I just don’t understand how something like this could happen.”

She gazed at Cal’s troubled face and found herself wishing Lynn and Jim could settle their differences, not only for themselves but for their sons. Cal and Ethan loved their parents, and this estrangement was painful for them.

Once again she wondered what had happened to Lynn and Jim Bonner. For years they seemed to have managed to live together very well. Why had they separated now?

Jim Bonner strode into the Blue Ridge dining room at the Grove Park Inn, Asheville’s most famous hotel and resort. It had always been one of Lynn’s favorite places, and he’d asked her to meet him here for lunch. Perhaps its pleasant associations would soften his stubborn wife’s heart.

The Grove Park Inn had been constructed at the turn of the century to serve as a luxurious refuge from the summer heat for the nation’s wealthy. Built into the side of Sunset Mountain from rough-hewn granite, the massive structure was either ugly or splendid, depending on your viewpoint.

The Blue Ridge dining room, like the rest of the hotel, was furnished in the rustic charm of the Arts and Crafts movement. He walked down several steps that led to a lower dining area and spotted Lynn sitting at a small table positioned by the tall windows that overlooked the mountains. He drank in the sight of her.

Since he refused to visit her on Heartache Mountain, he either had to telephone or watch for her when he knew she’d be coming to town. He made excuses to drop by church on Wednesday evenings when she met with the worship committee and kept his eyes peeled for her car in the Ingles grocery store lot.

For her part, she seemed to do her best to avoid him. She always chose times when she knew she wouldn’t run into him to stop at the house, either when he had office hours or was making his hospital rounds. He’d been relieved when she’d agreed to meet him today.

His pleasure at the sight of her faded into irritation. This past month didn’t seem to have changed her, while he felt bruised and old. She wore a loosely woven lavender-and-cream jacket that he’d always liked, along with silver earrings and a silky top and skirt. As he pulled out the heavy wooden chair across from her, he tried to convince himself those were marks of sleeplessness he saw under her eyes, but they were probably only shadows cast by the light coming in through the windows.

She gave him the same cordial nod she used to greet strangers. What had happened to the enchanting young mountain girl who’d giggled uncontrollably and decorated his dinner table with dandelions?

The waiter approached, and Jim ordered two glasses of their favorite wine, only to have Lynn request a Diet Pepsi instead. After the waiter left, he regarded her inquisitively.

“I’ve gained five pounds,” she explained.

“You’re on hormone replacement therapy. You have to expect some weight gain.”

“It’s not the pills that are doing it to me; it’s Annie’s cooking. If something doesn’t have a stick of butter in it, she doesn’t think it’s edible.”

“Sounds to me as if the best way to get those five pounds off would be to come home.”

She paused for a moment before she spoke. “Heartache Mountain has always been my home.”

He felt as if a cold draft had blown across the back of his neck. “I’m talking about your real home. Our home.”

Instead of responding, she picked up the menu and began to study it. The waiter delivered their drinks and took their order. While they waited for their food, Lynn spoke of the weather and a concert she had attended the week before. She reminded him to have the air conditioner checked and talked about some new road construction. It made him ache inside. This beautiful woman who used to speak only from her heart now never did.

She seemed determined to avoid anything personal, but he knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid talking about their sons. “Gabe called from Mexico last night. Apparently neither of his brothers has seen fit to tell him you’ve moved out.”

Concern furrowed her brow. “You didn’t say anything, did you? He’s got enough to deal with as it is. I don’t want him worrying.”

“No, I didn’t say anything.”

Her relief was visible. “I’m so worried about him. I wish he’d come home.”

“Maybe someday.”

“I’m worried about Cal, too. Have you noticed?”

“He looks fine to me.”

“Better than fine. I saw him in town yesterday, and I’ve never seen him look happier. I don’t understand it, Jim. He’s always been a good judge of character, and that woman’s going to break his heart. Why can’t he see her for what she is?”

Jim grew grim at the thought of his new daughter-in-law. He’d seen her on the street a few days earlier, and she’d walked right past him, just as if he didn’t exist. She’d refused to show up at church, declined social invitations from some of the nicest women in town, and even failed to attend a testimonial dinner for Cal the Jaycees had given. The only person she’d give the time of day to seemed to be Kevin Tucker. None of it boded well for his son.

“I don’t understand it,” Lynn went on. “How can he be so happy when he’s married to such a… a…”

“Cold-hearted bitch.”

“I hate her. I can’t help it. She’s going to hurt him badly, and he doesn’t deserve it.” Her brow furrowed, and her voice developed a huskiness that indicated the depth of her upset. “All these years we’ve waited for him to settle down and marry someone nice, someone who loved him, but look who he’s picked-a woman who doesn’t care about anyone but herself.” She regarded him with troubled eyes. “I wish there was something we could do.”

“We can’t even straighten out our own troubles, Lynn. How could we expect to solve Cal’s?”

“It’s not the same thing. He’s- He’s vulnerable.”

“And we’re not?”

For the first time, she sounded vaguely defensive. “I didn’t say that.”

Bitterness tightened his chest and rose like bile in his throat. “I’ve just about had it with this cat and mouse game you’re playing. I’m warning you, Lynn; I’m not going to put up with it much longer.”

He realized right away that he’d made a mistake. Lynn didn’t like being backed into a corner, and she always met aggression with her own brand of quiet stubbornness. Now she regarded him levelly. “Annie told me to tell you she doesn’t want you calling the house.”

“Well, that’s just too bad.”

“She’s really angry with you.”

“Annie’s been angry with me since I was eight years old.”

“That’s not true. Her health is making her cranky.”

“If she’d stop putting a stick of butter in everything, she might start feeling better.” He leaned back in the chair. “You know why she doesn’t want us talking. It’s because she’s got a good thing going having you on Heartache Mountain full-time to take care of her. She won’t give that up easily.”

“Is that what you think?”

“You bet it is.”

“You’re wrong. She’s trying to protect me.”

“From me? Yeah, right.” His voice softened. “Damn it, Lynn, I’ve been a good husband to you. I don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

She looked down at her plate, and then up at him, her eyes full of pain. “It’s always about you, isn’t it, Jim? From the very beginning everything has revolved around you. What you deserve. How you felt. What kind of mood you were in. I’ve built my life around trying to please you, and it hasn’t worked.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Look, forget everything I said that night. I didn’t mean any of it. I was just-I don’t know-having some kind of mid-life crisis or something. I like you the way you are. You’ve been the best wife a man could ever have. Let’s just forget all of this happened and go back to the way things were.”

“I can’t do that because you can’t do it.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Someplace inside you there’s this knot of resentment that formed the day we got married and has never gone away. If you want me back, it’s only out of habit. I don’t think you like me very much, Jim. Maybe you never have.”

“That’s absurd. You’re overdramatizing this whole thing. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.”

“Right now I want to please myself.”

“Fine! Please yourself. I’m not standing in your way, and you don’t have to run away to do it.”

“Yes, I do.”

“You’re going to blame me for everything, aren’t you? Go ahead! You explain to your sons what a bad guy I am, then. And while you explain it, remind them that you’rethe one who’s walking out on a thirty-seven-year marriage, not me.”

She regarded him levelly. “You know what I think? I think you walked out on our marriage the day we said our vows.”

“I knew you’d start throwing up the past at me. Now you’re going to blame me for the sins of an eighteen-year-old boy.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m just tired of living with the part of you that’s still eighteen, the part of you that still hasn’t dealt with the fact that you knocked up Amber Lynn Glide and had to take the consequences. The boy who thinks he deserves something better has never gone away.” Her voice grew soft and weary. “I’m tired of living with the guilt, Jim. I’m tired of always feeling as if I have to prove myself.”

“Then stop doing it! I haven’t made you live that way. You’ve done it to yourself.”

“And now I have to figure out how to undo it.”

“I can’t believe how selfish you’re being. Do you want a divorce, Lynn? Is that what all this is leading up to? Because if you want a divorce, you just tell me now. I’m not living in this limbo forever. Just tell me right now.”

He waited to see her shock. What he had suggested was unthinkable. But there was no shock, and he began to panic. Why didn’t she tell him to stop talking so crazy, that their situation wasn’t nearly bad enough to even think about divorce? But once again, he’d miscalculated.

“Maybe that would be for the best.”

He went numb.

She got a faraway look on her face, almost dreamy. “You know what I wish? I wish we could start all over. I wish we could meet each other again with no past history, just two strangers getting acquainted. Then, if we didn’t like what we found, we could walk away. And if we did like what we found…”Her voice grew thick with emotion. “The playing field would be level. There’d be a-a balance of power.”

“Power?”Fear churned inside him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She regarded him with a look of pity that cut right through him. “You really don’t, do you? For thirty-seven years you’ve had all the power in our relationship, and I’ve had none. For thirty-seven years I’ve had to live with the fact that I was a second-class citizen in our marriage. But I can’t live that way anymore.”

She spoke so patiently, like an adult explaining something to a child, and it enraged him.

“Fine!”He lost his ability to think clearly and acted on raw emotion. “You can have your divorce. And I hope you choke on it.”

He threw down a wad of bills he didn’t bother to count, shot up from his chair, and stalked from the dining room without a backward look. As he hit the hallway, he realized he was sweating. She’d turned his life upside down from the day he’d met her.

She wanted to talk about power! From the time she was fifteen years old, she’d had the power to twist his life out of shape. If he hadn’t met her, everything might have been different. He wouldn’t have come back to Salvation and been a family doctor, that’s for sure. He’d have gone into research, or maybe he’d have hooked up with one of the big international outfits and traveled around the world to do the work on infectious diseases he’d always dreamed about. A million possibilities would have been open to him if he hadn’t been forced to marry her, but because of her, he hadn’t explored any of them. He’d had a wife and children to support, so he’d gone back to his hometown with his tail between his legs and taken over his father’s practice.

Resentment seethed inside him. He’d had the course of his life irrevocably changed when he was still too young to understand what was happening. She’d done that to him, the same woman who’d sat in that dining room and told him she had no power. She’d fucked up his life forever, and now she blamed him.