Kasie West - On the Fence

“I don’t know how my brothers will react, but my dad loves you.”

He buried his face against my neck. “Gage already knows.”

I tried to push him away so I could look at his face. He wouldn’t budge. “What did he say?”

“He’s mad.”

I finally managed to push him away and look at him. The first thing I saw was the black beneath his right eye. “Wait. Did Gage do that to you?”

“What?”

I ran a finger lightly along the black.

“Oh. No.”

“So it was a golf ball, then?”

He shook his head no. “It was . . .” His eyes looked around me but not at me. “My dad.”

I sat up quickly and my head went light. “Your dad hit you?”

He smiled, which seemed like the opposite reaction to my statement. “Yes. I finally confronted him. He hit me. My mom kicked him out.”

“Braden! Why didn’t you tell me? Are you okay?”

“Yes. For years I’ve wanted her to kick him out. I didn’t realize it would take him hitting me for her to finally do it. I should’ve confronted him a long time ago.” His face was still lit with a smile, but I knew him. I saw hurt in his eyes. He didn’t want his dad to leave. He wanted his dad to love him enough to want to change.

“I’m sorry.” I ran a hand through his hair, and he moved his head to my lap. We stayed like that for a while, his head resting on me, my fingers combing through his hair. “So why is Gage mad at you?”

“You’re his sister, Charlie.”

“That makes no sense. He didn’t get mad at Evan.”

“I think he knows you were never into Evan.”

“But he thought I was into you?”

“I don’t know. He probably thought I’d have more potential to seriously hurt you. But I won’t. I promise I won’t. . . . I love you.”

My heart slammed against my ribs and my breath left me. I lowered my lips to his. “I love you too.”

“I will still kill you in football,” I said, looking down where he lay in my lap as if he never wanted to move.

“What? I don’t get boyfriend perks?”

Hearing him say the word boyfriend made my heart burst with joy. Then I immediately felt guilty for being this happy when I’d just found out about my mom. I stared at the cloudless sky.

“Is this too weird? Too fast?”

I took his hand in mine. “No.” He was my happiness right now. I wasn’t going to give it up.

He reached up and traced a line between my brows, and I wondered if I was scowling.

“I just feel guilty.”

“Because of your mom?”

I nodded. “I feel like I should be in mourning or something.”

“Charlie, you’ve been in mourning for ten years.”

“True.” The sunlight touched the tips of his dark hair, and his hazel eyes looked brown today.

He gave me a lazy smile. “What?”

“We kissed.”

He laughed and sat up, moving behind me. He wrapped me up from behind, pulling me back against his chest. “Am I a better kisser than Evan?”

“Hmmm . . .”

He let out an indignant grunt.

“Is this a competition?”

“Absolutely.”

This time I laughed and twisted around, pressing my lips to his. “Yes, Braden, you win.” He was an amazing kisser.

The day had turned to dusk when we walked back to my house, kicking the soccer ball back and forth between us as we went.

“So . . .”

He quirked an eyebrow at me. “What?”

“Are you going to tell my family about us, or am I?”

“Probably better if you do. I already have one black eye.”

“Funny . . . wait, you don’t think my brothers would hit you, do you?”

“I hope not.”

Now I was scared. Braden was right; this was different than just some random guy I met. This was Braden. He was practically part of the family. I knew how much pressure that put on us. I knew my brothers and father would understand that as well.

Braden studied my face. “Oh, great. You’re terrified. If you’re scared, how am I supposed to feel?”

“I already told you to stop reading me.”

“I can read you because I know you better.”

“In your dreams.”

“Yes, you’ve been there, too.”

I backhanded him across the stomach, but couldn’t help but smile.

When we walked into the house with a foot of space between us, my dad looked up from the game he was watching—an NBA classic.

“Don’t even think about it,” I told Braden, whose eyes lit up when he saw what was on television.

“Where have you been, Charlie?” my dad asked. “You’re supposed to be grounded.”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot.”

“You’re grounded?” Braden asked. His eyes seemed to say If you’re already grounded, maybe we should tell him later.

I felt the opposite—if I was already grounded, might as well get this out too. I couldn’t get in any more trouble.

“Can we talk?” I asked.

My father’s eyes darted to Braden as if searching for clues to what I was about to say. He wasn’t going to find his answers from Braden this time.

“Maybe we should get everyone in here,” I said.

“Everyone?” Braden asked. “Right now? Don’t you just want to talk to your dad first?”

“No. Might as well talk to them all at once.”

“This sounds serious,” my dad said, finally using the remote to turn off the game.

“It is serious. But good serious.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Okay.”

I yelled up the stairs to my brothers and soon the three of them, plus my dad, were crammed on our long couch. They barely fit shoulder to shoulder. I stood in front of them with Braden behind me.

I cracked my knuckles and took a deep breath. “Okay. So . . .” I had no idea where to begin. I felt like it needed a lead-in, but what could I tell them that they didn’t already know?

Wait. Gage already knew how Braden felt. Had he told the others? I eyed Gage, and he gave me a rare hard look, daring me to confess to the whole family what he already knew.

My mouth went dry and I tried to swallow. My tongue felt twice as big as it should. Finally, I squeezed my eyes shut and spit out, “I love him.” I pointed over my shoulder and opened my eyes at the same time.

Gage’s jaw tightened. So he still hadn’t gotten used to the idea. Everyone else just stared at me like they were waiting for me to finish my point. They all loved Braden. They didn’t understand what I meant.

I reached behind me blindly, hoping he’d help me out. It didn’t take him more than a second to put his hand in mine. “We’re together,” I said.

I wasn’t sure who started the outburst, but soon they were all talking at once and it wasn’t to congratulate us. Jerom was the first on his feet, and he said, “How dare you take advantage of her right now?” His cold stare was on Braden. They all seemed to stand up in unison after that.

I held up my hand before someone else said something hurtful. “Stop. He is the only one who had the guts to even hint that something more happened with Mom. So don’t you dare act like he is taking advantage of me.”

Jerom fisted his hands. “It sure seems that way.”

“I’m not breakable. Don’t you all get that? I can handle things. I can make my own decisions. This didn’t happen today. I’ve liked him for a while. We just admitted it today.”

“I love her, guys,” Braden said.

Nathan stepped forward like he was going to give Braden’s black eye a match. My dad grabbed him by the arm. “That’s enough, boys,” he said, and everyone went quiet. “I’ve asked this young man to keep an eye on Charlie on numerous occasions. How is it fair to now say I don’t trust him?”

I could feel the tension drain from Braden next to me.

My father looked at Braden and in a chilling voice said, “You better not betray my trust.”

“No, sir.”

“Then it’s settled. But you’re still grounded until the party, Charlie.” He looked at Braden. “So get out of here.”

Braden had never been kicked out when I was grounded before. But he’d never been mine before, either. I squeezed his hand and he left. As soon as the door shut, my brothers’ smiles were back.

“I wondered when he’d say something.”

“It was so obvious.”

“But, Charlie,” Gage said, “I had no idea you felt the same.”

I nodded, and they continued to talk about who knew what and when. Then one by one they all went quiet. It was the first time we’d all been in the same place at the same time since I found out about my mom. I had been avoiding this.

I looked at my dad. “I think it’s time we all talked about Mom. Together.” I grabbed the box full of pictures from beneath the table. I was still beyond angry with her, but I knew the first step to getting through that was to learn more about her from the people who knew her better than I did.

I sat on the couch and opened the box. They all still stood there, staring, like I had asked them who wrote Pride and Prejudice. Then Gage snatched a picture from the box and held it up. “This was the day that Nathan pushed me into a tree because he said I was cheating at hide-and-seek. Mom totally took my side, by the way.”

“You were cheating. You always cheat,” Nathan said, sitting next to me and reaching in for a stack of pictures. My brothers all had their hands in the box now and were talking over one another again. I looked up and saw my dad standing there, staring at the pile of pictures on the table. She was in most of them. His expression was hard and it seemed he too was still angry with my mom. But then he met my eyes and his whole aura lightened with a smile. It seemed to say She gave me you, Charlie, and I’ll always love her for that. That was a lot for an aura to say, but I was sure Linda would’ve agreed.

I held my breath and walked into Bazaar. I’d waited too long to come in, but I was here now. Linda looked up from where she stood behind the register.

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. There was no good excuse for my lie. I took a few steps closer when she didn’t respond. “I think my aura is blue today.”

That got a small smile out of her. “I don’t understand, Charlie.”

“I don’t either. I guess I just didn’t want you feeling sorry for me. It’s been so long since I’d met someone who didn’t already know my mother was gone.” I didn’t feel like Linda needed to know the specifics of my mom’s death. That was something between my family and me. But she didn’t deserve the lie I’d told her. Nobody did.

“Are people not allowed to feel sorry for your loss?”

I shrugged. “I’m not good with feelings, apparently.”

She approached me and I tensed up, waiting for her lecture or for her to tell me to leave or . . . something. She looked me up and down. “You can’t work dressed like that.”

“I . . .” I glanced down at my basketball shorts. “I can still work here?”

She placed her hands on my arms in a soft touch, then met my eyes. “Charlie, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

My eyes went hot. “Me too.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

“Thank you.”

“I got these new silky tops in the last shipment that would look fabulous on you. Do you want to add to your work wardrobe since you didn’t bring any clothes?”

I nodded. “I need some jeans, too . . . or a skirt.”

Her head snapped up to look at me and I laughed. I hadn’t planned on working today, but I didn’t want to quit. She retrieved the shirt and a pair of jeans and took them to the register. I followed her. Amber’s display of makeup stood in a tall hutch next to me. On a whim, I grabbed some shiny lip gloss and plopped it on the counter.

Linda raised her eyebrows at me but didn’t say a word as she rang it up with my clothes.

I paid and tucked the clothes against my chest. “We’re having a barbeque at my house tomorrow evening. We do it every year before school starts.”

“I don’t have you on the schedule for tomorrow.”

“No. I was inviting you. Will you come?”

She smiled then. “Yes. I’d love to come.”

“Good.” I headed to the back to change.

Toward the end of my shift Skye poked her head in from the back room. “Charlie! Come to the beach when you get off. Impromptu bonfire concert.”

“Can’t. I’m grounded.”

She laughed. “Bummer. Next time, then.”

“Yes. I’m having a party at my house tomorrow. Will you come?”

“Absolutely.” She disappeared into the back. I smiled. It was amazing what happened when you let yourself be open to new things.