Susan Mallery - Only His

Instead of smiling, he kissed her.

“I love you.”

His words fell into the silence. They were unexpected and unwelcome.

Not love, she thought frantically, sitting up and pulling the sheet with her. Never love. They weren’t supposed to get that involved.

His mouth twisted. “Judging by the panic in your eyes,” he said gruffly, “this isn’t welcome news.”

She rolled off the bed and picked up her thong. After slipping it in place, she pulled on a T-shirt, then faced him.

“No. It’s not.”

“At least you’re honest.” He sat up, leaning against the headboard in her small bedroom. Pain darkened his eyes. “Want to tell me why?”

Annoyed that the scratching had ceased, Jake moved to the foot of the bed and began washing his face.

Will was a good man, Jo reminded herself. She’d always known that. He was kind and normal and he couldn’t possibly understand. Telling him the truth meant losing him. Not telling him probably meant the same. She’d hurt his feelings, the one thing she hadn’t wanted to do.

“You gonna spend the rest of your life hiding?” he asked. “What is it? Did somebody hurt you?”

She folded her arms across her chest. “It’s not going to work. If I tell you, everything will change.”

“No, it won’t. I’m not that guy.”

A claim he’d made before. But he was wrong. Everyone was that guy, she thought.

“Just tell me,” he insisted. “I can’t fix it if I don’t know what it is.”

“There’s no fixing. It’s my past and it can’t be undone. It simply is.”

He stared at her. “There’s nothing you can say to make me turn away. I love you. That’s not going to change.”

He meant it. She could see it, and she almost believed him. But that would make things too easy, she thought sadly. She wasn’t that lucky.

She stood there a long time before accepting the fact that she didn’t have a lot of options. If she didn’t tell him now, he would bring it up later. Either she gave in or they were done. She tried to tell herself that not wanting to lose him didn’t mean she was weak, but she knew that she would be lying to herself. Somehow, when she wasn’t paying attention, this man had become important to her.

A narrow straight-back chair stood in the corner of her room. She pulled it up closer to the bed and sat down. The past that she had done her best to put behind her flared up now, surrounding her.

“My parents died when I was pretty young,” she began, studying her short nails rather than looking at him. “I was in foster care for a few years, different places. It wasn’t great, but nothing too awful happened. I wasn’t abused or anything. But I never belonged, if that makes sense.”

She looked up and found him watching her intently. Her stomach tightened. Nothing about this was going to end well, she thought sadly. But it was too late now to come up with a lie.

“When I was about fifteen I was sent to live with a woman who was new to the foster care system. She was older — at the time I thought she was ancient. Now she seems less elderly.” She managed a smile. “I think she was in her late fifties. Sandy. She was nice. Really nice. Sweet. She cared, which no one had for a long time. Then I met Ronnie. He was a year older than me in school, a bad boy. Sexy as hell, with tattoos and a motorcycle. I couldn’t resist him. The day he kissed me, I knew I could die happy.”

She looked at the blanket, at the floor. Anywhere that was safe.

“Being with Ronnie was exciting. Dangerous. One day we stole a couple of bottles from a liquor store. It was too easy. We got drunk. Sandy never knew, never guessed. Ronnie was so polite to her. She adored him and was happy for me. I felt bad, deceiving her, but that didn’t stop me.”

“I know that type of guy,” Will said.

“Then you won’t be surprised to know things escalated. We robbed a corner grocery a couple of towns over. Then held up a dry cleaner. They barely tried to stop us and the police had no clue who we were. Being bad like that was exciting and fun and something we shared. By day we were students and at night, we were Bonnie and Clyde.”

She looked at him then and shrugged. “I’d only heard part of that story. I didn’t know how it ended.”

She drew in a breath. “We decided our graduation present to each other would be to rob a bank. Sandy was having me fill out college applications and said she’d put away a little money to help me pay for it. I couldn’t believe it. I should have listened, I should have accepted the gift, but I wanted to be with Ronnie more.”

“You robbed a bank?” Will sounded shocked.

“We tried. We did a decent job planning and would have gotten away, except the bank manager decided to stand up to us. Ronnie had a gun and…”

Now came the hard part, she thought. The part that haunted her. She could still remember the terror in the bank manager’s eyes. The way he kept looking at the pictures on his desk. He had a wife and three kids. To this day, she could recognize those kids anywhere.

“We were so young and so stupid,” she continued softly. “Ronnie was screaming at him to hand over the money and I—” Her throat tightened. “I went along with it, saying Ronnie would shoot him if he didn’t listen. I was so scared, but determined.”

She sucked in a breath. “The police broke in and one of the customers in the bank screamed he was going to shoot and someone fired, then they all fired.”

She hadn’t known a gun could be so loud. The sound had filled the small bank, echoing until it had seemed to explode in her head. The subsequent gunshots had seemed to go on forever.

She’d stood there, waiting to be killed — ignorant enough to think dying together would be romantic.

She dropped her gaze to her hands again. “There was so much blood,” she whispered. “I didn’t know how much there could be.” She didn’t have to close her eyes to see him lying there on the bank floor. She remembered that someone was screaming and the sound hurt her ears. It had taken so long to realize that person was her.

“They arrested me. My lawyer tried to get me to say it was Ronnie. After all, he was dead and couldn’t say I was lying. But I wouldn’t do it. I told them everything and then I pled guilty. I didn’t want to have to face those people again at trial. I was sentenced and that was it.”

She shifted on the chair, fighting tears. “Sandy came to see me. She was heartbroken. She kept saying it was her fault and I had to tell her it wasn’t and I was so afraid she would abandon me, but she didn’t. Not even when they sent me away.”

Finally she looked at him. His face was carefully blank, his eyes expressionless. Better than jumping to his feet and calling her a murderer, she supposed, but not by much.

“They sentenced me to twelve years. I served nine. I was twenty-seven when I got out. That was nearly ten years ago. Sandy was sick and I stayed with her for the next couple of years, taking care of her until she died. She left me everything. I sold her little house and took the money and somehow found Fool’s Gold. I bought this place.”

She folded her arms over her chest again. “If I could take it back, I would. If I could give up my life so Ronnie didn’t have to die like that… Such a waste for both of us. We were kids, but we still should have known better. I know I was lucky. The bank manager was shot but recovered and I had Sandy looking out for me. She never gave up on me. I don’t know why. Anyone else would have walked away.”

She paused, hoping he would say something. He didn’t. Feeling uncomfortable, she added, “I learned my lesson. Obviously. Everything is different now, but I still carry that with me.”

“I can see why.” He rolled off the opposite side of the bed and started dressing.

She stood, careful to put the chair between them. Instinctively she knew she was going to need protection.

He pulled on jeans, then dragged on his sweatshirt. Finally he looked at her and swore. “I thought you’d been with some guy who beat you. I thought you were a Mafia princess or some crap like that.”

She didn’t flinch. Didn’t let him know how his words cut through her.

“You don’t have some noble past,” he growled. “You’re a criminal. An innocent man could have died because of you. A guilty man did die. That’s not anything I want to be a part of.”

He stepped into his boots, grabbed his jacket and was gone. Seconds later, she heard the front door slam and the uneven sound of his footsteps on the stairs.

She began to shiver. Not that the room was chilly. Instead the cold came from inside. It swept through her until she trembled so much she could barely stand.

She’d known what would happen if she ever told the truth. Known how it would end. She knew she shouldn’t be surprised.

Tears filled her eyes. As she brushed them away she wondered if she would ever get to leave her past behind. Not that she wanted to forget. She would pay for what she’d done for the rest of her life and she deserved that. But somewhere along the line she’d changed, and she’d hoped that her future might change, too.

THE CONSTRUCTION SITE was pure chaos. Tucker stood beside the trailer and stared at what had once been a relatively quiet, orderly work area. Now there were police, state troopers, private security and tourists everywhere. The cleared area by the mountain had become a makeshift parking lot that overflowed with cars and trucks. Heidi Simpson had set up a stand selling her goat cheese, along with water, soda and sandwiches. He understood the need for everyone to make a profit, but wished they would all go away and leave him alone.

He felt his phone buzz in his shirt pocket and pulled it out.

“Janack,” he said.

“You’ve made it to CNN,” his father said. “I can’t decide if I’m proud or horrified.”

“Let me know when you decide,” Tucker told him. “I know where I stand.”

He went into the trailer so he could hear more easily, and shut the door behind him.

His father chuckled. “I can hear it in your voice, son. Bad?”

Tucker slumped into his chair. “I keep telling myself it could be worse. At least the find is at the far end of the site, just past our property line. We’re not legally involved. As soon as the gold is taken away, things will quiet down. In the meantime, we’re moving our equipment and men as far away as possible.”

“Sounds like you have it under control.”

“Nevada does. She volunteered to coordinate with the town on this.”

“Always good having a local around.”

“It is,” he said absently, thinking Nevada’s value went past simply being local.

He and his father talked about the job itself, and how long Tucker expected to stay ahead of schedule.

“Need me to fly in?” his father asked.

“I’ve got it covered.”

“I know that, son. Keep me in the loop. Talk to you soon.”

They hung up.

Tucker eyed the door, not wanting to go back outside, but knowing he had to. He’d barely walked down the steps when Nevada appeared at his side.

“Okay,” she said, her eyes bright with amusement. “The archaeological team is on its way. Jerry radioed that their bus was coming up the road.”

She motioned for Tucker to follow her to the lunch table where the guys ate. She pulled two pieces of paper out of her back pocket and spread them out.

“It will take us half a day to clear a temporary road through here.” She pointed to the sketch she’d made. “I think it’s worth it. We can move the equipment we need more quickly that way, and get right to work.”

“What about that mess?” he asked, pointing behind them.

She glanced over her shoulder. “I’ll have this under control by tomorrow.”

“Impossible.”

She laughed. “Trust me, Tucker. I grew up as one of six kids. This is nothing. I’m used to bedlam and anarchy. It would go faster if my mom were here, but I can do it by myself.”

She continued to outline her plan, which was impressive. His father was right — having a local around helped. Tucker knew he was lucky to have her. And not just on the job site. She was an unexpected pleasure of being in Fool’s Gold.

While he didn’t believe in his father’s choice of having women all over the world, Tucker hadn’t lived the last ten years as a monk. There had been plenty of short-term, casual relationships. They’d been as easy to start as they had been to end. Almost from the beginning, he’d known they wouldn’t work out, for an assortment of reasons.