I could go yondering again and not always be looking back, wondering if Shannon was hungry or tried or frightened or hurt, needing someone and no one was nearby.
Relief at the solution to his problem swept through Whip, loosening some of the tension that had ridden him without mercy since he had discovered just how innocent a window Shannon Conner Smith really was. Smiling, he walked even faster into the meadow.
Shannon took one look at the man striding toward her and felt her heart leap with a joy she knew would end in heartbreak. Yet she could no more stop the joy than she could stop the sun from rising at dawn.
She had seen very little of Whip in the two days since he had discovered she was a virgin. When she awoke at dawn, he was already gone to Rifle Sight. He didn’t come back until it was too dark to work any longer. By then he was too tired to do much more than bathe and eat and fall asleep.
«I’m glad you came back early,» Shannon said.
Whip smiled. «You sure?»
She nodded almost shyly.
«Even though I’ve been less company to you than that beast?» he asked ruefully.
She nodded again and whispered, «Yes.»
Whip looked at the heightened color of Shannon’s cheeks, the sweet curve of her mouth, and the endless blue of her eyes. He realized anew how pleased he was to have found a solution to the problem of Shannon’s future. A solution that didn’t involve marriage.
Toanyman.
«Whip?»
«Mm?»
«What is it? You look as smug as a rooster with twenty hens.»
Whip laughed and wished he could hug Shannon. Yet he knew he must not. Touching her would end up only one way-with her virginity gone and him so hard and deep inside her that it would be like tearing off their own skin when they finally separated.
But separate they would, for the undiscovered sunrise would call to him.
«I don’t want to hurt you,» Whip said, no longer smiling.
Shannon’s smile turned upside down. Are you leaving? Is that why you came back early? Has that damned distant sunrise called your name?
But Shannon didn’t give voice to the questions that were tearing her apart. There was no purpose in speaking. Whip would go when he wished to. Knowing when he was leaving wouldn’t make the remaining moments any better for her.
Knowing would make it worse. Knowing would cut out her heart and leave nothing but darkness in its place, an emptiness she couldn’t hide from Whip no matter how hard she tried.
«I know you don’t want to hurt me,» Shannon said, balancing her voice as carefully as she would a pan of scalding water. «Don’t worry about it, yondering man.»
«Horse —»
«I’m fully of age,» she interrupted, «and I’ve been warned more than once that you don’t want ties. If I get hurt, it’s on my head, not yours.»
«But —»
«Come back to camp and wash up,» Shannon interrupted again, determined not to talk about leaving. «That shirt must be about as comfortable as a handful of nettles. Do you want an early supper?»
«My shirt isn’t what’s nettling me,» Whip retorted. «It’s you. My conscience won’t let me leave you at the mercy of the likes of the Culpeppers.»
Then don’t go!
But Shannon knew better than to voice the cry of her soul. Whip would go no matter what his conscience and her heart wanted. Nor did she want him to stay at the cost of his own happiness, his own heart and soul.
He loved the unseen sunrise more than he would ever love any woman.
«Tell your conscience that I got along just fine before I met you,» Shannon said.
«But you didn’t!»
«How do you know?» she asked reasonably. «You weren’t here.»
«Damn it, Shannon —»
«Yes. Damn it.»
With that, she started walking to camp. Prettyface and Whip fell into step along either side.
«How did the digging go?» Shannon asked.
Whip grunted. «Worse than yesterday, better than tomorrow.»
She tried to think of something encouraging to say. She couldn’t. Fear for her own future was too strong. Yet if she talked about that, Whip would think she was building a cage for him, nailing him to the floor of her dreams while his own dreams called to him from the other side of the bars.
«I’m not going to find gold in Rifle Sight,» Whip said bluntly. «Not tomorrow. Not the day after. Not ever.»
Shannon stumbled, then righted her balance before Whip could touch her.
«There are other claims,» she said through pale lips.
«You said Rifle Sight was the best one.»
«Maybe I was wrong.»
«Maybe. But I’ve got a better idea.»
«What? Jump somebody’s claim?» she asked bitterly.
«I’ll leave that to the Culpeppers, and I’ll leave robbing trains and banks to the James brothers.»
Shannon smiled despite her unhappiness about the lack of gold on Silent John’s claims.
«What’s your idea?» she asked.
«The only real safety for a girl like you is in a nice town with picket fences around the houses and church bells ringing and a good, settled man for a husband. But —»
«I don’t want to marry,» she interrupted curtly.
«— there’s no place like that in Colorado Territory,» Whip continued.
«Thank God,» Shannon muttered.
Whip ignored her. As he spoke, his original enthusiasm for the idea of sending Shannon to live with Caleb and Willow returned in full force.
«The next safest place for you would be Cal’s ranch,» Whip said firmly.
Shannon cut a sideways look at Whip and said not one word.
«The ranch lies beyond those peaks,» Whip said, pointing to the west, «about a day’s ride from your cabin on a good horse in good weather. Two days if you take Razorback. Four if you walk.»
«And no time at all if you stay home,» Shannon pointed out pleasantly.
Whip kept talking as though she hadn’t said a word.
«Cal and Willy — my sister, remember?»
«Cal is your sister? I thought he was a man.»
Whip shot Shannon a glittering glance.
She gave it right back.
«Willow is my sister. Caleb is her husband.» Whip spoke slowly and clearly, as though to the town drunk. «They have a little boy and are expecting another baby before too long. All she has for help is Pig Iron’s wife, and she only speaks Ute.»
«They should send to Canyon City. Or Denver. Or maybe one of your other widows would want the job. I don’t.»
Whip made a frustrated sound and raked his fingers through his hair, dislodging his hat. He caught it with careless ease and pulled it firmly back into place. He wished his temper were as easy to get hold of and keep in hand.
«They wouldn’t treat you like hired help,» Whip said carefully. «You would be like…family.»
«After my step-aunt, I’d rather be treated like hired help,» Shannon said.
«Damn it! All I meant was you would have a safe place to live with good people around you and kids to enjoy and —»
«Their home, their children,» Shannon said tightly, «Thank you, no. I’d rather have my own home and my own children to love.»
The thought of Shannon having another man’s children sent raw rage through Whip. The sheer violence of his reaction shocked him. He locked his jaw against the reckless words crowding his throat.
What business of mine is it whose kids she has, Whip asked himself savagely, as long as they aren’t mine?
The rational, reasonable, logical question did nothing to cool Whip’s elemental rage. Teeth clenched, he turned away from the girl who could trigger his temper — and his body — as no one else ever had.
That’s the end of it, Whip told himself. Time to pull up stakes and find another sunrise before she has me so hog-tied I can’t even move.
But first I have to see that the stubborn little witch is safe, whether she likes it or not.
Without a word Whip turned away from Shannon and strode toward his own camp.
Shannon let out a long breath, took in another one, and looked at her hands. They were trembling slightly. She knew she had come very close to making Whip lose his temper entirely.
But she didn’t know what she had done to cause it.
«I wish you could talk, Prettyface. You’re a male. Maybe you could tell me what I did.»
The big, brindle hound nudged Shannon’s hand. He didn’t know what was wrong with his mistress, but he sensed something was.
«I thanked him very politely for his offer of a place in his sister’s house,» Shannon pointed out.
Prettyface’s tongue lolled as he panted softly.
«Well, maybe not very politely,» she conceded, «but I certainly wasn’t rude. Not nearly as rude as he was.»
The hound cocked his head to one side, ears erect, looking as though he were about to speak to Shannon.
«If only you could talk.» She sighed deeply. «But you can’t. So I guess I’ll have to ask Whip why he got so furious when I said I wanted a home and children of my own. It’s not like I was asking him to provide either one.»
Unsettled, torn between anger and hurt, Shannon walked after Whip.
But when she got to his campsite, all her questions fled. Whip was quickly, efficiently, packing up his belongings.
No! Oh, Whip, don’t leave me yet.
Shannon’s short fingernails bit into her palms as she tried to stem the tears burning against her eyelids.
I won’t cry. I knew it was coming. I just didn’t think it would be like this. In anger.
Shannon started to speak, then thought better of it. She couldn’t trust her voice not to reveal her hidden tears. Silently she turned away and went to her own campsite.
By the time Shannon heard Whip’s big gray horse walking toward her campfire, she could trust herself to speak. Whip pulled the horse to a stop and dismounted without a word.
«Leaving?» she asked him evenly.
«I told you I was.»
«Yes.»
Shannon looked at her hands, took a deep, secret breath to calm herself, and smiled up at Whip.
«Thank you for all you’ve done, Whip. If you ever come back through here — oh, that’s right. You never chase the same sunrise twice.» She made a vague, jerky gesture with her right hand. «Well, thank you. Are you certain you won’t take some pay? You’ve done so much and I do have a bit of gold left.»
Whip looked at Shannon’s pale face and trembling hands and wanted to comfort her and shake her at the same time. Silently he stalked past her and began packing up her camp.
«What are you doing?» Shannon asked after a minute.
«What does it look like?»
The tone of Whip’s voice made Shannon flinch.
«It looks like you’re packing my gear,» she said.
«Do tell.»
Whip rammed some dried food into a burlap bag and looked around for more.
There wasn’t any.
That, too, irritated him. It reminded him of just how close to the edge Shannon had been before he came along, and how close to the edge she would soon be after he left.
Unless she took a job with Willow.
«Why are you packing my gear?» Shannon asked distinctly.
«Because you’re coming with me.»
Shannon’s eyes closed. I refuse to lose my temper over a yondering man who can’t see love when it’s right in front of him.
When Shannon’s eyes opened, they were as furious as Whip’s. But her words weren’t. They were well chosen, spoken in a low voice, and very distinct.
«You weren’t listening very well,» she said. «I’m not going anywhere except up to Rifle Sight to dig for gold.»
«Oh? You going to eat grass while you dig?»
Shannon blinked. «No.»
«Then you better ride as far as your cabin with me. There aren’t enough supplies left up here to keep even a stubborn little idiot of a girl alive.»
«Don’t worry. There’s no ‘stubborn little idiot of a girl’ around to eat the supplies. There is, however, a thick-shouldered, thickheaded blind man with the appetite and disposition of a starving grizzly who —»
Abruptly Shannon remembered that she had promised herself not to lose her temper with this stubborn, blind mule of a man.
«There are enough supplies for a day of digging,» she said with false calm.
Whip looked at the cloud-seething sky and then back to Shannon.
«By this time tomorrow, it will be storming fit to drown Noah,» he said. «A smart little girl would get her rump moving down the hill to shelter.»
«A smart little girl wouldn’t be up here —»
«Amen.»
«— with a rock-stubborn blind man!»
«Pack up,» was all Whip said.
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