Shay Savage - Otherwise Unharmed

“Jesus, Evan!”

I looked up at her, and my skin warmed to see her laid out before me like that.  I could see my cock sliding back out of her, watch her face tighten in protest as I slipped back out, and hear her soft moans as I filled her again.

Perfect.

Because my brain must hate me, it chose that moment to remind me that this could be it—this could be the last time I would be inside of her like this.  Once morning came, and I told her everything, I had to be prepared for her to walk out on me.

This had to count.  Mean something.

I tightened my ass and moved deeply into her, pulled back, and out again.

“Please, Evan!”

“Please what, baby?”

“I need you…in me…please!”

“You want my cock?”

“God, yes…”

I glided back inside of her, but only about halfway.  I pulled back to just the tip and then went back in halfway again.  Over and over, the top of my cock rubbing against the inside, back set of nerves connected to her clitoris.  After nine strokes, I buried myself totally and Lia cried out.

“Evan!  Oh my…my God…”

I pulled out, ran my hand across her stomach, and then slid back inside halfway.  More short strokes—eight this time.  After the eighth, I penetrated deep, pulled nearly out, and then back in deep again.

“Holy shit!”

“Hush,” I whispered against her skin as I pulled back out again.

“Evan!”

“Hmm?”

Her chest rose and fell, and her desperate eyes captured me.

“What are you doing to me?”

“Hush,” I said again.  “Just feel.”

I repeated the action, seven short strokes, then three long and deep.  I pulled out; I started over again.  Six short, four long.  I felt the muscles in my thighs tighten and my balls threaten to explode, but I refused to give in.  I was going to make this one last.

It had to count.

With every movement of my hips, I thought it might be the last.  Even as my cock throbbed in her body, my mind recoiled in terror at the thought.  All the control I usually had in such situations just didn’t come in to play.  I wasn’t the one who mastered this relationship—it was all her.

My tongue flicked over her nipple once, and Lia shuddered.  I continued the pattern, quickly reaching the point when I continued with long, slow thrusts deep inside of her as Lia dug her nails in my back and started to cry out over and over again.  I felt her body tighten around my cock, her legs twitch as they wrapped around my waist, and tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

Does she know?  Does she think this is it, too?

Lia reached up around my neck and wrapped her arms around my head.  She pulled at me until my forehead was against her shoulder, and I continued to thrust deep inside of her as sweat dripped from my forehead to her skin.  I tucked my arms under her body and held her against me as I tried to hold on.

I wanted it to last.  I didn’t want to come in her at all—just keep going for the rest of eternity.  I couldn’t, though, not just because of the absurdity of the notion, but because she felt too damn good.

“Jesus,” I whispered against the warm skin of her neck.  My mind attempted to slow the movements of my hips, but my cock wanted it all and ultimately won.  I pushed against her a final time and felt my balls empty into her.

I shuddered again from my shoulders to my calves before I tightened my arms around her as much as I dared and collapsed on top of her.  Lia’s legs gripped around my waist and held me inside of her as I panted hot breath on her neck.  My mind swam, and I was nearly swallowed inside of the feelings of completeness, tranquility, and peace.

If I lost this in the morning, Trent and Rinaldo and Greco wouldn’t fucking matter.  I’d die if she left me.

* * *

I woke sometime in the middle of the night.  The streetlights were glowing around the edge of the curtains at the window, and Lia’s slow breathing was the only sound in the room.

My head was empty.

There were no memories, no thoughts of the next person I needed to stalk and kill, and no concerns about Moretti or Greco or jail—just the warmth of the body next to mine and the peace that came with it.

It just felt…good.

Maybe I didn’t deserve it.  Hell, I most certainly didn’t, but I didn’t care.  I wanted it.  I wanted her next to me every time I woke up.  I wanted to feel her warm breath on my skin and the scent of her hair in my nose.  For the first time in my life, the idea of just settling down and being with someone else long-term seemed attractive.

I didn’t just want it; I needed it.

Moving slowly, I untangled myself from Lia, took a quick piss, and then went over to the window to peek out.  There was a bright streetlamp just outside, which gave me a decent view of the area.  Sentry duty suddenly seemed like a good plan, so I pulled my jeans on and let my Beretta sit across my lap as I watched outside and thought about the woman still sleeping in the bed.

If I had been a completely stupid person, I would have let the desire to just run off with her overwhelm me and do precisely that.  However, I knew exactly where that road would lead—a life on the run.  I’d spend all my time watching over my shoulder and waiting for Trent to catch up with me and haul me to federal prison for the rest of my life or for Rinaldo to offer me a more permanent form of retirement.

The strangest thing was, if I had been pressured by those two scenarios a month ago, I wouldn’t have given a shit what the consequences might have been.  I would have just done whatever the fuck I wanted to do because I didn’t care what happened to me.

Sometime over the last week, Lia changed all of that.

Maybe I should have been pissed off at her for it.  My simple, if dangerous, life had been turned upside down by her coming into it the way she did.  No—that wasn’t fair; it wasn’t her, but how I felt about her.  On the inside, she made me feel more powerful than I ever had in my life.  On the outside, I knew she was a dangerous weakness.

Others would know it, too.

I couldn’t leave her alone.  No matter what else happened, I had to keep her with me, both for her to be safe as well as for the more selfish reasons.  As long as she was close by, I’d sleep well.  If I was sleeping well, the chances of me keeping us both alive through all this were best.

This was assuming she was going to have anything to do with me at all after breakfast.

There was a very real chance she was going to take me up on my offer to get her to the airport and out of the city.  It wouldn’t be the safest option for her, and I didn’t want it at all, but she might not leave me with a reasonable choice.

A few unreasonable choices—including holding her prisoner in a basement for the rest of her life just so I could sleep and be near here—crossed my mind.  None of them were realistic, and some of them weren’t even plausible, but that didn’t stop them from having a little picnic inside my head.

I knew I had to come clean about all of it and just live with whatever she decided, but I didn’t like it.  Keeping her in the dark and close to me sounded so much better.  Maybe if I had found myself a dumb chick, it would have worked—but not with Lia.  She was too smart.

Lia stirred and eventually woke up.  I let her take a shower while I ran out for coffee and breakfast sandwiches from a nearby fast-food place.  By the time I returned, she was dressed and sitting on the bed, combing through her wet hair.

“Fucking beautiful,” I murmured.

Lia’s eyes met mine, and she smiled slightly.  I could see the tension in her back and shoulders as she sat there and waited for me to spill the beans.  I debated trying to talk her into another romp beforehand, but I knew it couldn’t be any better than last night had been.  Instead, I handed her an egg-and-cheese bagel, and we ate in silence.  As the last of the crumbs were dusted away, I knew I had run out of time.

“What do you want to know first” I asked her, “what happened to me as a POW or what the fuck is going on now?”

“I don’t know,” she said.  “Does what happened to you over there lead into what’s happening now?”

I shrugged.

“Basically,” I said.  “I mean, it’s what led to everything afterwards, so yeah, I guess so.”

“Then I’ll take chronological order,” she told me.

I realized that since I had left incarceration there had been only one thought that came into my head that mattered—Lia.  It was also the one thought I continued to fight against.  Deep inside, it was clear to me that nothing good was going to come of this.  It was dangerous for her to even be seen with me, and giving her all the information I was about to give her was only going to make that worse.  On top of it all, she had seen me at the lowest point in my life.

She saw me—broken, destroyed, and being taken away in handcuffs so I couldn’t hurt myself or anyone else.  I'd never be able to remove the memories from her head and make it right.  She would always remember me in that state—a sociopath begging her to watch over my dog.

What was she going to do when she knew the why of it all?

Nothing in my life was going to be harder than this.

“I joined the Marines when I was seventeen.”

It seemed like as good a place as any to start.

“Why seventeen?  Did your parents want you to?”

Or not.

“No, I never met my parents.”  I sighed and dropped onto the ledge by the window.  I ran my hand over my head, somewhat disgusted by how long my hair had gotten, but also recalling how it felt when Lia had her fingers in it, so I couldn’t hate it too much.  “I was an orphan.  I grew up in a convent in southwestern Ohio.”

“A convent?  You mean, a place for nuns?”

“Yeah, and also orphanages a lot of the time, usually for kids who are hard to place in foster care or whatever.”

“Are you Catholic, then?”

I snickered a bit.

“Nah, not really.  Not anymore.”  My hand instinctively moved up to my chest, and I fingered the dog tags hanging there.  I could feel the raised letters.

“What happened to your parents?  How old were you when you went there?”

“I don’t really know,” I admitted.  “I’ve never found out who they were, just that—for whatever reason—they either died or didn’t want me.  I was there as long as I can remember, so I guess pretty much always.  No one would ever tell me what happened, not even when I got older.  I’ve always assumed it was because they didn’t want to deal with a kid at all because if they were dead, someone would just tell me, wouldn’t they?”

“You would think so,” Lia agreed.  She lay back on the bed and leaned her head against her hand.  “So why seventeen?”

“I was emancipated.  I was done with high school, but I didn’t really have any money or anything.  I wanted to go to college, so the military made sense.”

“Are orphans usually emancipated?”

“No, not usually.”

“So why were you?”

I hadn’t expected this portion of my past to really be a part of the conversation, and I wasn’t prepared to talk about it.  Still, I had promised her I would tell her everything, so I did.

“Because I asked for it,” I said, “and the Mother Superior wasn’t in a position to deny it.”

“What do you mean by that?”  Lia’s eyes darkened.

She was way too perceptive.

“Well…” I let my voice trail off a second while I thought about how to word it.  There really wasn’t a clean way to do it, so I went with blunt.  “I’d been fucking her, and I threatened to use it against her if she didn’t sign the papers.”

“Holy shit!” Lia yelled out.  “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

“But you were underage!  How old was she?”

“Fuck, I don’t know.  Fifty-something, maybe?”

“Jesus Christ, Evan!”

“It had been going on for years,” I told her.  “I think I was fourteen when it started.”

Lia contemplated a moment.

“She molested you.”

“Whatever you want to call it,” I said with a shrug.  “I wasn’t complaining.  Knowing all her dirty little secrets came in handy when I wanted something.  If she was using me, I was using her just as much.”

I watched Lia closely as she let my words sink in.  She was staring down at the sheets, watching her fingers twist the fabric.

“You still want me to go on?”