Samantha Young - Out of the Shallows

I opened my mouth to speak to Alex, knowing I’d get eye contact out of him, when Claudia’s shriek filled the bar. “Asshole!”

We all turned around, watching as she shoved a pissed-off Beck aside and stormed toward the exit.

I instantly pushed my chair back at the same time Alex held out Claudia’s purse. I gave him a grim thanks and glanced around at the guys, carefully avoiding Jake’s gaze. “I’ve got to go. Bye, guys. It was nice to see you.”

It was wrong that I was glad Claudia and Beck had a fight that got me out of there. I knew it was wrong. But still… I was grateful.

Edinburgh February 2013

“You look wiped,” Jake said, his expression sympathetic as he stood to press a soft kiss to my lips. “Did the tutorial go okay?”

I slipped into the seat opposite him as he sat back at the table. “I didn’t even have to say a word,” I grumbled, stifling a yawn. “I don’t know why I bothered.”

He shot me a mock frown as he gestured to a nearby waiter. “Why, to accumulate great knowledge, of course.”

I grinned at his faux uppity accent. “Oh, is that what I’m spending all this money on?”

“That, and a little piece of paper that proves you’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars on an education Good Will Hunting got for a dollar fifty in late charges at his public library.”

Rolling my eyes, I gave the waiter my coffee order and turned back to my boyfriend. “You’ve seen that movie way too many times.”

Jake looked at me like I was nuts. “There’s no such thing.”

“I guess not.” It was a pretty damn good movie. “How was class?”

“Uh-uh.” Jake shook his head. “None of that. How did last night with your parents go?”

Before I could tell him of the discussion that had left me bone weary, my phone rang. With a sigh, I pulled it out and winced at the caller ID. “You’re about to find out,” I mumbled. “My sister. I’ll be a sec.”

Jake nodded, eyes curious, and I stood, answering my phone. “Hey, Andie,” I said quietly, moving through the small café to an empty spot in the corner.

“Don’t you ‘Hey, Andie’ me,” my big sister snapped. “I just got off the phone with Mom and Dad. When were you going to tell me you were back with Jake?”

“Today. I was planning on telling you today.”

“Oh, now I feel better,” she replied. “It’s not like you haven’t been dating him for the past two months!”

“Five weeks.”

“Yeah, that makes it better.”

“Andie, please—”

“No, listen. I can’t let you make such a huge mistake. What the hell are you thinking?”

My blood heated. “You can’t let me?”

“Don’t get snotty. Charley, you’re not thinking clearly around this guy. Don’t you remember what he did to you? Don’t you remember how heartbroken you were?”

Trying not to get mad in a public place, I bit my nails into my palm. “I’m not a silly child, Andie. I’m perfectly capable of making rational decisions—”

“But—”

“No ‘buts.’ He was seventeen and he made a mistake. I’m giving him a second chance. It would be nice if you’d support me on this.”

“Support you?” Andie’s voice had quieted. “Supergirl, all I ever do is support you. However—and note that was not a ‘but’—I can’t support this decision. I don’t think you’re in a position to think rationally around Jake.”

Not at all happy with her reaction, I felt queasy as well as angry. “Stop being condescending. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Your whole family doesn’t agree with this, Charley. Doesn’t that tell you something? Mom told me how last night’s conversation went down.”

Yeah, that had not gone… well.

Last night

Mom and Dad stared at me with completely bemused expressions.

I shifted uncomfortably on my bed, watching the Skype screen.

Finally, I said quietly, “Well?”

I’d just told them about Jake and the police academy in one big rambling speech.

“I don’t even…” Mom shook her head, dazed. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

My dad stood abruptly so I lost sight of most of him. He disappeared off screen and I stared after him in disappointment.

Mom looked in his direction and from the way she swallowed, I knew my dad was all kinds of mad.

“Mom?” I whispered.

Before she could say anything, Dad was back on screen, slamming down on his chair and glowering at me. And Jim Redford gave good glower. “Are you crazy?”

“Jim,” Mom admonished.

“I’m sorry I had to tell you like this,” I hurried to explain, “but I need you to know what’s going on with me. I need you to support me.”

“Support you?” Mom narrowed her eyes. “Support you? All we ever do is support you and up until now, you’ve never given us reason to doubt your decisions. But getting—”

“Back together with that boy is a mistake,” Dad finished for her, his voice rising in temper. “And the police thing? I can’t believe that one hasn’t got to do with the other. A few months ago you were settled about going to law school. He comes back in the picture and suddenly you want to be a damn homicide detective all over again. It’s morbid, Charley!”

Despite the severity of the situation, I struggled not to laugh. He didn’t mean it to be funny, but it kind of was. Especially considering I hadn’t mentioned anything about becoming a homicide detective. Clearly, our discussion about it when I was sixteen had never left my father. And I knew it was purely because he worried about me.

“Dad, Jake has nothing to do with my decision to apply to the academy. I’ve always wanted to be a cop—I just didn’t want to disappoint you and Mom.”

“Then don’t,” he grumbled.

I snorted. “Dad, I’ve got to do what makes me happy. That’s all you and Mom have ever said I should do.”

“Since when,” Mom snapped, “does happiness and mortal danger go hand in hand?”

I released a beleaguered sigh. “Since when did becoming a police officer become such a big deal? Rick is one.”

“Rick’s not my daughter,” Dad growled. “I’ve done everything in my power to keep my kids safe, but you seem intent on thwarting me.”

“Thwarting?” I teased.

Mom gave me a look. “This is not the time to be a smart-ass.”

“When you were five, I caught you trying to turn a coyote into a pet,” Dad reminded me.

“He was wounded,” I argued. “He needed my help.”

“He was a coyote!”

“Jim.” Mom rubbed his shoulder. “Chill.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Chill?”

They glared at me.

“Dad—”

“When you were ten, you almost drowned in the creek trying to save Lacey—”

“Technically, Lacey almost drowned.”

“If Roger Pearson hadn’t been walking his dog nearby, the two of you would’ve gone under! And let’s not forget the time you shoved your sister out of the way of a moving vehicle!”

“Oh, so you would’ve preferred that I let her get hit!” I shouted back, wondering where the hell all of this was coming from.

“I want—” My dad took a deep breath and when he spoke again, his voice had lowered. “I want my kid to be safe. Don’t get me wrong, Charlotte, I am so proud of who you are. But that doesn’t mean I don’t worry myself sick over what situation you’re going to put yourself into because you’ve got it in your damn head you have to save people.”

“I don’t have that in my head,” I promised. “But I was raised by two people who taught me that you don’t stand idly by when someone needs help.”

My parents were quiet for a moment. Then Mom said, “There’s helping when a situation arises, and then there’s looking for that situation. That’s what being a cop is.”

“No, I disagree. It’s being there to help when a situation arises. It’s who I am.”

“And Jake?” Dad said, his words brittle. “Is he who you are? Because last time I checked, he was a selfish coward who broke my daughter’s heart.”

My defenses rose at his insult. “Don’t talk about him that way,” I said, quiet but stern. “I won’t listen to it.”

“You need to think.” Dad leaned toward the camera, his hazel eyes almost pleading. “Just… promise me you’ll take some time away from him to really think.”

“I don’t need to.”

“Charley—”

“Are you going to support me or not?”

My parents looked at each other, something grim passing between them. Finally, my dad looked at the camera. “I won’t ever have that boy in this house again and we are not done discussing law school.”

I knew that look on my father’s face. I knew it because it was the same look I got when I wouldn’t budge. My chest ached and I felt the stinging burn of tears behind my eyes.

For the first time in my life, my parents had really hurt me.

“You always told me people deserve a second chance.”

“Charley—”

“If I don’t have your support, we have nothing left to talk about.” I snapped the laptop shut, trembling.

There had never been discord between my parents and me. The ugly burden of it rested on my shoulders and I hoped that it wasn’t preparing for a long stay there.

I tightened my grip around my cell as Andie waited on my reply. “Yeah, it didn’t go great, but I’ll tell you what I told them. If you don’t support me, don’t bother calling me.”

“You’re putting him before your family?” Andie’s voice was so quiet with anger, I barely heard her question. My skin prickled with unease. “After everything he did? After all the support Mom and Dad have given you. You’re just spitting in their faces with this… and, although I get that you want to be a cop, you could take their feelings into consideration. At least you shouldn’t have just dropped those two bombs on them at the same time.” She was silent a moment. “When did you get this selfish?”

“Selfish?” I whispered in disbelief that my sister, one of my best friends, was talking to me this way. “Is that what you think?”

“I think yesterday I respected my little sister. I think today I feel disillusioned.”

“Disillusioned?” I guffawed, feeling my blood heat. “I haven’t committed a crime here, Andie. I’m just asking you to trust me.”

“I don’t with this.”

My fingers clenched around the phone. “When did I get so selfish? When did you get so self-righteous? Mom and Dad weren’t thrilled with the idea of Rick at first, remember? The guy is ten years your senior. Did I say anything? No. I supported you.”

“That’s completely different. Rick never broke my heart and left my family to pick up the pieces.”

“You know, you’re the one person I thought I could count on to be there for me through this. It isn’t easy. I’m trying to work things through with Jake, and I’m finally taking the reins of my future despite Mom and Dad’s concerns about it, and I need my big sister.”

“No, you want me to tell you that it’s all right to steamroll your way through life without taking other people’s feelings into consideration.”

“Andie, it’s my life. My heart. My career.”

“And I’m telling you, if you don’t dump that loser, he’s going to break your heart and ruin your future.”

“Fuck you,” I bit out before I could stop myself.

There was silence on the other end of the line. All I could hear was the sound of my blood rushing in my ears.

Finally… “No, Charley, fuck you,” she whispered back, the hurt evident in her voice. “And don’t bother calling me until he’s out of your life and you’re you again.”

She hung up.

I stared at the wall in front of me, trembling.

I’d just burned my Andie bridge… for Jake.

But she was wrong. Right? My family was wrong.

They just were.

Right?

I jerked in fright as two strong arms wrapped around my waist, but I relaxed as Jake held me against his chest. His lips burned on my cheek. “You okay?”

No, I wasn’t okay. My sister was no longer talking to me. We’d had the biggest fight of our lives and I wished I had some guarantee that Jake was worth it. Was any guy worth losing Andie over? I was afraid if I dug deep enough, the answer would put Jake and I in an even more precarious position. Yet, Andie’s attitude… she’d never made me feel like a bad person before and I didn’t think that was fair. I hadn’t done anything wrong. Exhausted, I said, “I don’t know.”

“They’ll come around,” he promised, his voice soothing. “They’re Redfords. They don’t know how to be anything but cool.”