Tiffany Snow - Out of Turn

Blane was a master at concealing his thoughts and emotions, but a flicker of pain crossed his face and was gone. He glanced down at the packet the hospital had given me. I’d set it on the coffee table and now he picked up a couple of papers from the stack.

“They gave you some prescriptions,” he said. “I’ll go get them filled and grab something for dinner. Here, you take this.” He removed his gun from its holster and handed it to me. “Just in case. I’ll be back shortly.”

I thought about reminding Blane that I already owned a gun, but that would also remind him that Kade had been the one to buy it for me, so I kept my mouth shut and gave a quick nod. I had to look away from his penetrating eyes that saw too much. He hadn’t said if he’d stay or leave when he got back, but at least I’d gotten a short reprieve. Moments later he’d gone, locking the door behind him on the way out.

Carefully getting off the couch, I grabbed fresh clothes and went to shower. The apartment was stifling and I still had grit on me from hitting the asphalt. Blane hadn’t returned by the time I came out. I settled back on the couch, careful to sit on the blanket. I’d dressed casually again in a cami and knit shorts, though my bruised ribs had me skipping a bra. I was glad I’d done laundry yesterday.

A knock on the door had me sitting bolt upright, with fear slashing through my veins before I could even think. I took a deep breath. It was probably Blane. After all, it’s not like a killer politely knocks on your door before shooting you, right?

Blane’s gun was in my hand as I peered carefully through the peephole. Surprise and happiness flooded through me when I saw who it was, and I hurriedly threw open the door, a broad smile on my face.

Kade looked me over from head to toe, his eyes lingering on my breasts and short-shorts before his piercing blue gaze met mine.

“I fucking love summer.”

I launched myself at Kade without a second thought to the pain that doing so produced in my ribcage. His arms encircled my waist and he lifted me off my feet. I hugged him tightly, my excitement and joy at seeing him felt like a dam had burst inside.

We stood there like that for a long moment, my arms wrapped around his neck as I breathed in his scent, savoring the feel of him after months of his absence. Which reminded me…

“Where the hell have you been?” I asked, pulling back. Kade loosened his grip as well and my bare feet touched the floor.

“Is that any way to greet me?” he retorted, following me inside my apartment. “You leave a bloodcurdling scream on my voice mail and don’t answer your phone when I call you back, which meant I was worrying what kind of shit you’d gotten yourself into the whole way here.” He flopped down beside me on the couch. “And you owe me for a speeding ticket,” he finished. He frowned, glancing around the apartment. “It’s fucking hot in here,” he complained. “Your air broke?”

“My air is expensive.”

“Screw that shit,” Kade said, getting back up. He started closing the windows. “I don’t look good in sweat stains.”

I watched him close all the windows, then turn on the air-conditioning. I couldn’t help smiling. God, it was so good to have him here again. If he wanted the air on, I didn’t have it in me to stop him. And he probably was warm in his jeans and black T-shirt, though I doubted Kade could look bad in anything, sweat stains or not. His black hair was thick and a bit longer than when I’d last seen him, a lock falling over his brow when he returned to the seat beside me. I resisted the impulse to push the strands back. He fixed me with his gaze.

“So you want to explain the phone call now?” he asked.

My smile faded. Oh yeah. The phone call.

“And what’s with the road rash?”

He was looking at the scrapes on my elbow and the underside of my arm from when I’d hit the concrete.

“I kinda got hit by a car,” I said, my voice small.

Kade just looked at me. “Well, that’s new. How the fuck did you get hit by a car?”

“William Gage is out of prison,” I explained. “Blane thinks—”

“Blane?” Kade stiffened at the mention of Blane’s name, his expression turning cold. “That didn’t take long. So you and him are back together?”

I shook my head and gave a bitter laugh. “No way. Not after—” I stopped, suddenly acutely uncomfortable. Did Kade even know why Blane and I had broken up? “Just… no,” I finished, unwilling to go into detail about how Blane had accused me of sleeping with Kade. I could feel my face get hot. “But I guess Gage is set on making me pay for helping send him to jail. He sent a shooter to the bar last night and a car today. I got lucky both times.”

Kade’s eyes glittered with an unnamed emotion, his lips twisting into the one-sided smirk I knew all too well. “So I see you’re still a shitload of trouble.”

I grinned at what might be considered an unusual term of endearment. “Why be boring?”

“So you just have the scrapes then?” he asked, sliding closer to me and inspecting my arm.

“Bruised ribs, sprained wrist,” I said. “No permanent damage.”

“On the outside,” Kade said quietly, his eyes meeting mine. “How are you otherwise? Still pulling guns on anyone who surprises you?”

I stiffened at the reminder, my smile fading. I remembered what Blane had said about PTSD and hesitated. “I… have trouble sleeping,” I said, looking away from him. “I had a flashback today when they had me strapped down in the ambulance. It was so strange. One second I was there and the next I was back in that shack…” I couldn’t finish. Clearing my throat, I said, “I don’t feel… normal anymore. It’s like something inside is frozen. Like I’m waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

I lifted my eyes to his and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Have you talked to anyone about this?” he asked.

“I am now.” And at the moment, I couldn’t imagine having this conversation with anyone else. There was no one right now who I trusted to be this vulnerable with, who understood anything about what I was going through.

Except Kade.

A moment passed, then another. Kade slotted our fingers together, his hand closing over mine.

The door suddenly swung open and Blane walked in, carrying a paper bag. He stopped short, taking in Kade and me sitting together on the couch.

Kade was on his feet immediately, his stance protectively shielding me.

If I’d thought the heat in my apartment had made it hard to breathe, that was nothing compared to how it felt now.

“Long time no see, brother,” Kade said, but his voice held no warmth, only warning.

“I didn’t know you were in town,” Blane replied, the hint of a question in his careful tone.

“Did my secretary forget to e-mail you my schedule? So sorry about that.”

Kade’s sneering flippancy made me wince. I should do something to help fix this. I was the problem between them. I got to my feet and stepped to the side of Kade so I could see Blane.

“I called him,” I said bluntly, thinking fast. “Because of… Gage. Thought he might be able to help.” No need for either of them to know I’d called Kade because I’d wanted to get rid of Blane.

“She says Gage is trying to kill her,” Kade said. “Is this true?”

“I don’t have any proof, but yeah,” Blane said.

“And you’re the one who’s supposed to be protecting her?” Kade said dubiously. “Which is why she got hit by a fucking car, right?”

Blane’s jaw locked tight at that and I flinched. He didn’t reply.

“You know,” Kade continued, taking a couple of steps toward Blane, “it seems to me that she might be safer with you not around. Seeing as how you’re doing such a bang-up job and all.” His thin-lipped smile would have made an alligator seem friendly by comparison.

I wanted to cry at how Kade was talking to Blane, his voice full of anger and contempt. I’d never heard him speak to Blane like that. He’d always been… not exactly deferential, but even his ingrained sarcasm had been tempered out of respect for Blane.

“It wasn’t his fault,” I interrupted, resting my hand on Kade’s arm. “He told me. I ran off without thinking, which was stupid. Blane’s not to blame.”

Both men were looking at me now and I swallowed, shifting my weight nervously. Blane’s gaze moved from mine to where I was touching Kade. I dropped my hand.

“I got your medicine,” Blane said, ignoring Kade and setting a bag down on the table. “And something for you to eat. Kung pao. Your favorite.”

“Thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“Someone has to stay with you,” he said. “It’s not safe for you to be alone right now.”

The already thick tension in the room increased tenfold at Blane’s pronouncement. I couldn’t imagine Blane staying here with me. I couldn’t handle that.

“You’re not staying,” I said firmly. “I understand that you want to help, but that’s just not going to happen.”

“Kat, this is serious. He’s already tried twice in as many days. God knows who he hired. He knows more criminals than any defense lawyer in town, and that’s saying something.”

“She said no.” Kade’s voice was silk-covered steel.

Blane’s attention turned to Kade. “You’re going to stay? Watch out for her?”

Kade gave a careless shrug. “If she wants me to. I don’t treat her like a misbehaving toddler, unlike some people. It’s her decision as to whether she wants protection.” He raised a wickedly arched brow. “Unless you think we’ll be too busy fucking?”

That statement went off with the force of a bomb and I drew a sharp breath, sure that they were going to attack each other, but Blane didn’t take the bait.

“I was wrong,” Blane said quietly. “I was wrong to not trust you and wrong to not trust Kathleen. And I’ve paid for that mistake in more ways than you could possibly imagine.”

“Well, maybe you’ve paid enough for you, but I don’t know if you’ve paid enough for her.” This time there was no mistaking the cold menace in Kade’s tone.

Blane’s gaze drifted from Kade to me. “I’ll go,” he said. “Just please. Be careful.”

My heart broke inside at the pain in Blane’s voice and the haunted agony in his eyes.

Neither Kade nor I said anything as Blane left, the door closing behind him.

Kade glanced at me. “Well, that was awkward.”

The unexpected remark broke the tension, making me give a little laugh in spite of the pain Blane had left in his wake.

Kade dug into the paper bag. “Chinese food. Just what the doctor ordered.” He pulled out a prescription bottle. “And exactly what the doctor ordered.”

My stomach growled as the aroma of kung pao filled the room. It looked like Blane had gotten enough for two people, which gave me a moment’s pause. Had he thought we’d sit here and eat dinner like we used to? Yeah, that wouldn’t have been uncomfortable or anything.

“You on a diet or something?” Kade asked as we sat down to eat.

“No, why?” I shoveled a forkful in my mouth.

He eyed me while he chewed. “You look like a stiff wind could blow you away,” he said bluntly.

I shrugged, my cheeks heating. “Haven’t been hungry lately, that’s all.” But that didn’t seem to be the case now. I ate as though the food was trying to run away.

“Ah, the breakup diet,” Kade said, watching me plow through the kung pao. “Let me guess, more vodka than food in your freezer, right?”

I swiped a napkin across my lips, avoiding his eyes. “Maybe,” I mumbled. A thought occurred to me. “If you and Blane aren’t speaking, then how’d you know we broke up?”

“Oh, we had a lovely heart-to-heart a few months ago,” he said with a smirk. “I believe I told him what a fucking moron he was and he accused me of sleeping with you.”

Now this was awkward.

Suddenly my appetite was gone and I tossed down my fork. “I tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t listen,” I said. “Blane said… awful things…” My eyes saw nothing as my mind replayed that horrible scene in Blane’s office. I shuddered, pushing the memories away. “And that was it. I haven’t seen him since. At least, not until last night.”

“So this is my fault,” Kade said.

I couldn’t decipher the look on his face. “No, it’s not,” I said firmly. “I told Blane the truth and he chose not to believe me. If he can’t trust me about something that serious, then he doesn’t love me. Maybe he never really did.”

And that was the first time I’d voiced that fear aloud. It had swum darkly in my mind for weeks and I’d been afraid to face it. Doing so now, uttering those words, felt freeing in a way. I could handle it. I didn’t fall apart at the thought that Blane had never really loved me.