The drive home was a quiet one, again. I don’t think either of us had much to say. Haley cried off and on, her tears silent, but there. I left my hand on her leg as much as possible, trying to give her any sort of comfort I could. Why are you doing this, Haley? Why? I wanted to scream this over and over again, but I knew the answer, and figured there was no reason to torment her soul any more than it already was.

I pulled up into her driveway, and left the car running. I turned to her. She was already looking at me.

"Um, I think I’m going to go home tonight. I need to be alone." She looked at me, stunned.

"Oh, okay. Um, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then?" The hope in her voice nearly killed me. I nodded.

"Yeah."

"See you then." She brushed her fingers across my face, looking at me, as though she were trying to soak it all in, burn my image onto her brain. She leaned in, gently kissing me, then let herself out of the Jeep.

I cried on the entire trip home, then cried myself to sleep.


* * *

In some ways time seemed to drag on, and in all the wrong ways, it flew by. It was Sunday, and I had promised Haley that I would help her clean the townhouse before she left.

Dressing in a grungy pair of sweat shorts, and tank, I pulled a baseball hat on my head, grabbed some old rags from the garage, and headed over, for what I knew would be the last time.

I waited on the front porch, my first knock unanswered. Finally I heard footsteps inside, and the door was pulled open. Haley met me, her eyes red and swollen, a glass of juice in her hand.

"Hey," she said, her voice rough from too much crying. I could relate.

"Hi. The cleaning crew is here." I gave her a weak grin. She stepped back, allowing me to enter. I could smell the cleaning products as soon as I entered, seeing that the place was spotless. "I thought you wanted help?"

Haley shrugged, walking over toward the kitchen, setting her glass down on the counter.

"I had to have something to keep me busy last night."

"I’m sorry I couldn’t help." I watched her for a moment, her back still to me. With a sigh, I walked up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist, feeling her fall gently back into me. I closed my eyes, my chin resting on her shoulder.

"It’s okay. This way we can just spend some time together. If you want."

"I do want." I looked around, seeing how empty it all was. "This place looks so big with nothing in it."

"I know. That’s why I bought it. Lots of space."

I tensed as I could feel the emotion rise in my throat. I was so damn tired of this. Why couldn’t I be the stone cold bitch I had been for year? Nothing affected that woman, and no one affected that woman.

Damn you, Haley Corregan.

I squeezed a little tighter, really feeling the tears come, now. Seeing this empty place, knowing that all of Haley’s things used to fill these rooms. Haley used to fill these rooms, and she never would again.

A sob tore from my throat, and my eyes squeezed shut, the hot, burning tears making their way down my face, one after the other, my throat choked up as more sobs fought to get out.

Haley turned around in my arms, hugging me to her, holding me close, my shaking body.

"Don’t go, Haley," I sobbed. "Please? Stay?" I looked up at her, trying to make sense of her image through my wall of tears. I could feel her body shake as she, too, began to cry. She shook her head.

"Don’t do this, Andi. Please, don’t do this," she begged.

"Why can’t you stay? You can find a place around here to practice. You know the hospital will take you back in a heartbeat!"

"Don’t, don’t, don’t," she whispered, her forehead against mine, our tears falling until I didn’t know whose belonged to whom, the salty taste upon my lips.

I cupped her face, and pulled her to me, taking her mouth, desperate, hungry, needing to feel her, to connect with her, to let her know how much I needed her. All the things I couldn’t say with words.

Haley’s arms wrapped themselves around my neck, pulling me to her, crushing me to her. Our mouths fought for what, we didn’t know. All I knew was I needed her. And I loved her.

The tears kept coming as the kiss deepened, the passion of the moment, matching the depth of our pain, making us try and devour each other.

After long moments, I pulled away from her, sniffling, and taking her hand. I turned, leading us toward the stairs, neither of us saying a word.

In what had once been Haley’s bedroom now stood only the rabbit hutch, and the frame of the bed, a single mattress resting on it. Everything else, including the headboard, had already been moved out.

I turned to Haley, both of us standing at the end of the bed, the dying sunlight streaming in through the one window. Haley looked at me, her eyes filled with so much, it was hard to discern. Love, fear, sadness and desire.

I kissed her gently on the lips, then pulled away, my hands going to her tee, slowly lifting it from the bottom. She obediently lifted her arms, and I pulled the shirt over her head, and tossed it to the floor. I could see her nipples were erect through the material of her bra. I took a step closer to her, wrapping my arms around her, my fingers working with the hooks of it.

As I worked at it, Haley lowered her head, and caught my lips, her hands moving to my tank, sliding up underneath to caress my back. The kiss was slow, neither of us in a hurry as we tasted, felt, explored.

The bra came loose, and I brought my hands up to her shoulder, fingers touching the strap of it, gently pushing them down off her shoulder, and down her arms. She closed her eyes as her breasts were exposed to me.

I brought my hands up, touching them, just above the curve, taking in a breath at the softness of them. I had waited so long for this. I wanted her to go away knowing that I did care, I do care.

Bending my head down, I nuzzled the erect nipple with my lips, smiling at the sharp intake of breath. I felt Haley’s hands in my hair, running her fingers through it. I slid my tongue out, just the tip, and swiped it across the rigid peak of one of the breasts, then took the entire nipple into my mouth, gently sucking it in.

"Oh, god," Haley moaned. "Baby, I want to feel you. Please."

With one last lick, I looked at her, seeing the fire that burned in her eyes, causing fresh sparks to boil my blood.

Feeling suddenly very urgent, I grabbed her shorts, tugging them down her legs, as she kicked them off, and I tugged at my own, desperate to get them off, feeling as if they were constraining me.

We met again, our naked bodies coming together, causing Haley to moan, our kiss fiery and desperate, hands everywhere, Haley thrusting herself into me. I turned and pushed her onto the mattress, the urgency taking over as I spread her legs, fitting myself between them, pressing a hand to her, feeling how ready for me she was. God, she was so wet.

Pressing against her, taking her, letting her know she belonged to me, no matter what happened, I didn’t want her to ever forget this, or me.

She screamed out as she came, clutching me with claw-like fingers, but I didn’t care. Our mouths came together, her tongue forcing its way into mine, rolling us over so she was laying on top of me. She brought her mouth to my breast, slowly, unsure of what she was doing, she took my painfully hard nipple into her mouth, the warmth of it adding even more anguish to my aching body, and sucking on it as I had done hers.

My eyes closed, my hips bucking off the bed. I had nearly come when she had, and was certainly on the verge now. I reached down, taking her hand, and shoving it between my legs. Getting the hint, Haley used her fingers, at first feeling around.

"My god. You’re so wet, so hot," She looked at me with awe and wonder. "All because of me?" I nodded.

"Oh, yeah,"

She turned her attention back to my breast, getting bolder with every thrust of my body as her fingers played, paying careful attention to what made me jump or moan the most, and then sticking with it, stroking me until she left my breast, and watched her hand at work, fascinated by what she was capable of doing with just two fingers.

I clutched the sheets in my hands, my head arching back, eyes closed as I exploded. In moments I felt Haley on top of me, a hot tongue on my neck, licking and sucking its way up to my ear, then sucking on the lobe, my legs wrapping themselves around her waist, pulling her body into mine.

Haley’s mouth found my own as she began to press against me, the pressure on her pubic bone from mine, making her move a little. I could feel wetness gathering again, but had no idea if it was mine, or if it was hers. I knew I was ready again, so figured it was both.

Haley pushed herself to her elbows, moving her hips against me, my legs unwrapping themselves from around her, but spreading wider so more of me was exposed to her. She groaned, thrusting harder against me, my hands trailing down her back, what nails I did have finding purchase in the skin. Her mouth found mine again, our breathing heavy, nearly stopping our kissing all together as we fought to breathe.

I could feel the building sensations again, and knew I was really close, and from the momentum that Haley was getting, I knew she was, too. She slammed into me, our bellies slapping together as she thrust, harder and harder until she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, mouth open as she exploded, me not far behind.

I pulled Haley to me, her body completely collapsing onto mine. I wrapped myself around her, needing to feel her close, her naked skin, everything about her. I could smell our combined scents in the air; this only added to my libido, but right now all I wanted to do was hold her.

My hands ran up and down her back, tracing random patterns on her skin when I felt her body shake, wracking against me.

I pulled her to me, understanding without her having to say a word. I began to caress her hair, my fingers getting lost in the dark, tangled strands, then I pushed, turning us over so Haley was laying on the bed. She looked up at me, her eyes an electric blue from the crying. I kissed her gently, her kissing me back, her hands on my skin, running her nails over my arms, shoulders and back.

I placed a leg between hers, and gently, slowly began to move my body. Immediately I felt her moving, too. The rhythm was slow, lazy. The last thought in my mind was to make either of us come. I just wanted to make love to her, show her through my movements, my body, share with her. She seemed to understand that. The sobbing quieted until it stopped, though tears still streamed from her eyes.

Haley’s hand trailed up to the back of my head and neck, her body slowly rocking with mine, her other hand trying to touch as much of my body as possible, as our mouths stayed connected.

The kiss was slow, yet extremely powerful. It was slow movement of lips, tongue, the slight tilt of our heads, the graceful thrust of our hips.

As Haley continued to cry, I broke the kiss, and laid my head against her neck, burying my face in the warm, salty skin, kissing every once in a while. Eventually our bodies slowed, and stopped all together.

"I love you, Andi," she whispered. I kissed the side of her neck.

"I love you, too, Haley."

As Haley lay in my arms asleep, the sun fell peacefully behind the horizon. Our day was over.

I closed my eyes, hugged Haley tighter to me, and fell asleep.


* * *

Being as quiet as I could, I pulled my tank over my head, not even bothering with my bra, and then tugged the shorts up. I glanced over at her. She slept, laying on her stomach, covered only by the sheet, her face facing me. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful.

Pulling on my sneakers, I walked over to the bed, bending over, and placed a single kiss on her lips.

"Goodbye, Haley," I whispered, and hurried out.

It was Monday, and I had called in sick. Never had I, except for the day my child was born, and then Haley walks into my life, and I’m out once a week.

I smiled at the irony of it all.

The truth of the matter was I didn’t want to see Haley. I had said my goodbyes, and anything else would hurt entirely too much.

So, I had spent the day at home, or out with Bunsen, getting some sun, trying to find a way to put my heart back together so I could go on, and start living as soon as possible.