32

“Okay now, Sam… we got you…” Two cowboys made a seat for her and held her while two more held the horse firmly. It wasn't Black Beauty they held between them, and not even Navajo, but a new horse named Pretty Girl. But this time the name didn't annoy her. She was surprised herself at how squeamish she felt and the horse was supposed to be very docile. Suddenly she was glad. They hoisted her into the saddle quickly, and Josh tied a bunch of straps around her, and then she sat there, perched in her saddle, staring down at them in amazement.

“By God, we did it. Look at that, I'm riding!” She looked like an ecstatic kid.

“No, you ain't.” Josh grinned at her with obvious pleasure. “You're just sittin'. Get her movin' a little, Sam, and see how it feels.”

She looked down at him and whispered. “Would you believe it, I'm scared.” She just sat there with a frightened expression alternating with a nervous smile, and after a moment Josh gently took the bridle and began to walk her on the quiet horse.

“You're okay, Sam. Come on, I'll walk you around the corral.”

“Josh, I feel like a baby.”

He looked over his shoulder with a tender smile. “You are. Got to learn to walk, you know, before you can trot.” But a moment later he let go of the bridle and she began to trot slowly, and suddenly Sam's face broke out in a huge grin.

“Hey, guys, I'm running,” she was shouting, “I'm running… look!” She was so excited, she could hardly stand it. For the first time in over a year, she wasn't moving along in a wheelchair, she was actually running again, and even if it wasn't under her own steam, the exhilaration of trotting along with the wind in her hair was the best feeling she'd known in years. It took Josh an hour to convince her that she'd had enough. And when they helped her down, she was so high, she was almost flying, her eyes were dancing, and her delicate face was framed by wisps of her golden hair.

“You sure looked good on that horse, Sam.” He smiled gently at her as they set her down in her chair.

She grinned a grin of confession. “You know, at first I was scared to death.”

“Stands to reason. You'd have to be crazy not to be after what happened.” And then he looked at her thoughtfully. “How did it feel?”

“So good, Josh.” She just closed her eyes and grinned. “Like I was a normal person again.” The grin faded as she looked into his wise old eyes. “It's been a long time.”

“Yeah.” He scratched his chin. “But I keep thinkin', it don't have to be a long time anymore. Sam, you could come back here, and you could get back into ranchin'…” He had thought about it all night, but now she looked at him pensively, her head cocked to one side.

“You want to know what I've been thinking?” He nodded. “Charlie and I talked about it in New York, and maybe it's totally crazy. But I wonder if, maybe, I could turn this into a special ranch, for”-she hesitated, not sure how to say it-“people like me. Kids mostly, but some grown-ups. Teach them to ride, help them get back to a normal life. Josh, I can't even begin to tell you what it just felt like. Here, in the chair, I'm different and I always will be. But up on that horse, I'm no different than I used to be. Oh, maybe a little, but I won't be once I get used to riding again. Imagine showing people that, giving them horses to ride, teaching them…” She didn't notice but there were tears in his eyes and her own as she spoke. He was nodding slowly, glancing around at the buildings.

“We'd have to make some changes, but we could do it…”

“Would you help me?”

He nodded slowly. “I don't know much about… about…” He tried to be tactful, he had been about to say cripples. “About people like that, but hell, I know horses, and I could teach a blind man to ride if I had to. Had my own kids ridin' by the time they was three.” She knew it was true too, and he had just been as patient and as loving as any therapist she had worked with. “You know, Sam, we could do it. Hell, I'd sure like to try it.”

“So would I. But I have to think it over. It would take some money, and I'd have to have therapists and nurses and doctors, people would have to be willing to trust me with their children, and why should they?” But she was talking more to herself than to Josh, and a moment later Charlie and Mellie interrupted them to ask Josh more questions about the ranch.

Sunday morning came too quickly, and they all looked regretful as they said good-bye. Josh was almost heartbroken as he took Sam's hand before they left for the airport and squeezed it with a thousand questions written on his face. “Well? You goin' to keep it?” If not, he knew that he might never see her again. And he couldn't let that happen. He wanted to help her to find herself, and to build the ranch for special kids. He had sensed in the past few days how lonely and hurt she was.

“I don't know yet, Josh.” She answered him honestly. “I have to do some research, and to think it over. I promise I'll let you know as soon as I make up my mind.”

“How soon do you think that will be?”

“Has another job come up for you?” She looked worried.

“If I said yes,” he said, grinning softly, “would that make you jealous enough to keep it?”