Danielle Steel - Palomino

He stared at her, not comprehending. “Why do I have to take a bath?”

“Because it's a nice thing to do.”

“You gonna do it?”

“I could have Jeff do it if you like.” She wasn't sure if at six he'd be modest; but he wasn't and now he vehemently shook his head.

“Uh-uh. You.”

“Okay.” For her this was a new adventure. It had only taken her ten months to learn how to bathe herself, but to bathe a child from a wheelchair, that was going to be something new.

She sent Jeff off to find clothes that would fit Timmie, rolled up her sleeves, and told him how to get himself in, but when he slipped and she tried to grab him, they both almost wound up on the floor. In the end she managed to get him into the bathtub, wound up soaked herself, and as she helped haul him out, she got him into the chair she had lent him just in time to lose her balance and fall out of her own. And for some reason she found herself on the floor, looking up at him and laughing as he laughed down at her too.

“Pretty silly, huh?”

“I thought you were supposed to teach me how to do it.”

“Well, there are other people here who do that.” She hoisted herself carefully off the wet floor and back into her chair.

“What do you do?”

“Teach riding.”

He nodded and she found herself wondering what he was thinking, but mostly she was grateful that he no longer seemed to be afraid of her, and when Jeff brought them the clothes he had borrowed from various cabins, Timmie almost looked like a new child. But she was soaking wet from his bath and she had to go back to her room to change. “Want to come see my house?” Hesitantly he nodded, and after she helped him dress, she led the way. There was an easily accessible ramp into the big house now, and he followed her into the living room and down the hall to her bedroom, while she pulled some fresh jeans and a shirt out of the closet, which had been entirely rebuilt for her. She kept Caroline's old room as her best guest room, but she almost never used it, and visited it as seldom as she had to. It still pained her to feel its emptiness without her old friend.

“You got a nice house.” Timmie was looking around with interest. The teddy bear had come with him too. “Who sleeps in the other rooms?”

“No one.”

“Don't you have kids?” He looked amazed.

“No. Except all the kids who live here on the ranch with me.”

“You got a husband?” It was a question a lot of the children asked her and she always smiled and said no, and it ended there.

“Nope.”

“Why not? You're pretty.”

“Thank you. I just don't.”

“Do you wanna get married?”

She sighed softly as she looked at the beautiful blond child. He was actually very pretty now that he was clean. “I don't think I do want to get married, Timmie. I lead kind of a special life.”

“So does my mom.” He nodded his understanding, and Sam was at first shocked and then laughed but she couldn't say “Not like that.”

She tried to explain her views to him. “I just think I wouldn't have enough time for a husband with the ranch and you kids here and stuff.”

But he was looking at her intently, and then waved at her chair. “Is it because of that?” What he had just asked her hit her like a punch in the stomach, because it was the truth, but she couldn't admit it, not to anyone, and barely to herself.

“No, it's not because of that.” But she wondered if he knew she was lying, and then, without giving him time to ask her more questions, she ushered him back outside. They visited the stables and the main hall, looked at two cows in a pen, and went to the swimming pool, where she took him for a quick swim before lunch. There were only a few younger children on the ranch at that hour of the day in October. The others were all in school, having been dropped off by the huge adjusted school bus that Sam had bought to get the kids there. But the children who were around greeted Timmie with warmth and interest, and when the others got back at three thirty, he was hardly even shy. He watched them have their riding lessons, swoop down on the pool in their wheelchairs, and chase each other down the wide well-paved walks. He met Josh and solemnly shook his hand, and watched Samantha during all her lessons, and when she was finished, he was still standing by.

“You still here, Timmie? I thought you'd have gone back to your room.” He only shook his head, holding on to his teddy bear with big eyes. “Want to come back to my house before dinner?” He nodded and reached out for her hand, and hand in hand, they wheeled back to the big house where she read him stories until the big old school bell sounded, and it was time to go eat.

“Can I sit with you, Sam?” Once again he looked worried, and she reassured him. But she suspected that by now he was tired after his long first day at the ranch. He sat beside her at dinner, yawning loudly, and before dessert had arrived, she turned to see that his little chin had dropped onto his chest and he was slumped in a corner of the big gray wheelchair. The teddy bear was still clutched in his arms, and she smiled gently and took off her heavy sweater, settled it around him like a blanket, and left the table to take him home. In his room she gently lifted him from the chair to the bed with one powerful smooth gesture, her own arms had gained much strength from the constant use they got. She took off his clothes as he stirred gently, undid his braces, changed his diapers, turned off the light, and ran a gentle hand over the soft blond hair. For a brief moment she was suddenly reminded of Charlie's children, of the sweet faces and the big blue eyes, and she suddenly remembered that fierce longing she had felt when she had first held their last baby, little Samantha, and how she had known then that it was a void that, in her life, would never be filled. And now, as she looked at Timmie, she felt her heart reach out and embrace him as though he had been her child. He stirred gently as she kissed his forehead, and whispered, “Good night, Mommy… I love you…” Sam felt tears spring to her eyes. They were words she would suddenly have given her life for, and then, with head bowed, she wheeled out of the cabin and closed the door.

By the end of the first month Timmie was riding the pretty little palomino. Her name was Daisy and he loved her the way any little boy would have loved his first horse. But far more than the palomino, he loved Samantha, with a passion that startled everyone with its vehemence and strength. He appeared at the big house every morning, knocked on the door, and waited for her to come and answer it. Sometimes it took her longer than others, because sometimes she was already making coffee and sometimes she was still in bed. But the moment he saw her, his face lit up like a sunburst, and as he wheeled in the chair that she had bought him, he always looked around him, like a puppy who's been kept outdoors all night. They had a comfortable early morning patter. Sometimes he told her what he'd dreamed about, or what one of the kids had done at breakfast, or what the palomino had been doing when Timmie sped past the corral in his chair to bid the gentle horse good morning. And Samantha told him what she would be doing that morning, they'd talk about his riding lesson, and once or twice she inquired if he had changed his mind about school, but he remained adamant on that subject. He wanted to stay on the ranch, not go to school with the others, and Samantha figured that for the first month at least she would let him settle in.