Jacqueline Diamond - Paris or Bust!

Kit nuzzled his face into her hair, breathing deeply of the scent. He couldn’t think of a better way to start the day than with Roxanne in his arms. Oddly, he’d usually preferred to leave a woman’s bed before dawn, but Kit pulled her closer and closed his eyes. The house was silent and it would probably be a few hours before the kids were up. He’d just catch a little more shut-eye.

But as he pulled her closer, she stirred. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him with a sleepy expression. “Hi,” she murmured.

He brushed a kiss across her mouth. “Morning.”

She snuggled closer and pressed her face into his chest. “What time is it?”

“Six-thirty.”

She stiffened, then pushed herself up, instantly wide awake. “You can’t be here,” she said, crawling over top of him and tumbling to the floor.

Kit reached over, concerned that she’d hurt herself, but she brushed his hand away and frantically began to straighten her rumpled clothes. He watched her rake her fingers through her hair then he reached out to pull her back down on top of him, but she deftly avoided his reach.

“Get up,” she said.

“Why?”

“Because the kids will be up in a few seconds.”

“It’s quiet up there.”

“You don’t understand. They have radar. The minute I get up in the morning, whether it’s at 5:00 a.m. or 7:00, their little bodies automatically kick into gear. I never have a moment to myself in the morning. I barely have time to brush my teeth before they descend on me.”

Kit slowly pushed up, swinging his legs off the couch. But the moment his feet hit the floor, he heard a rumble overhead. Roxanne’s eyes went wide and she grabbed the front of his shirt, yanking him up. But just as she was dragging him to the front door, Danny raced down the stairs and headed for the kitchen.

She shoved Kit back toward the living room and held her breath. “You’ve got to sneak out,” she said. “The kids can’t find you here.”

“I understand,” he said. He grabbed her face between his hands and gave her a quick kiss. “Can I call you later today?”

“Just go,” she said, hurrying off to the kitchen.

Kit heard her greet her son, then thinking he was in the clear, he grabbed his shoes from the floor. He tiptoed toward the hall closet to get his coat. But another rumble of footsteps sounded on the stairs. Having nowhere else to go, he stepped inside the hall closet and closed the door behind him.

He cursed softly, then opened the door a crack to see Rachel skip past to the kitchen. But he didn’t have enough time to run for it because Michael was hot on her heels. Sooner or later they’d all have to go upstairs to get dressed. Maybe then he could get safely to the door.

Kit settled back into the closet and listened to the craziness of the morning. Jenna was screaming from upstairs and Roxanne sent Danny up to get her, instructing him to help her down the stairs. But as soon as Jenna got to the table, Danny went back upstairs to get dressed. The kids were all over the house, buzzing around like little bees.

The smell of coffee drifted beneath the closet door and Kit was sorely tempted to step out and grab a cup. But he understood Roxanne’s worry. The kids might take his presence the wrong way. For now, he was just a friend of their mother’s.

When he finally heard everyone tromp back up the steps he figured it would be safe to make a dash for the door. But then he heard Danny’s voice shout from the top of the stairs.

“I wanna wear my basketball shoes today!”

“I don’t know where they are,” Roxanne shouted. “You have to keep track of them if you want to wear them every day.”

“Look in the hall closet! Mom!”

Kit heard footsteps approach and when the door opened, he reached out and grabbed Roxanne’s arm, pulling her inside. A tiny scream slipped from her throat, but it was muffled by the heavy wool coats. He quietly closed the door.

“Shh! It’s just me.”

“What are you doing in my closet?”

“I couldn’t get out. Every time I head for the door, one of your kids runs through. Is the coast clear now?”

“No. Jenna is out there.”

“She’s not going to say anything. She can barely talk.”

“That’s not the point.”

Kit slipped his arms around her waist. “So, now that you’re here, what are we going to do?” He kissed her neck. “They’ll never find us, you know.”

“Mommy?”

Roxanne stiffened, then reached up to cover his mouth with her hand. “Don’t make a sound.”

“Mommy, are you in there? Who are you talking to?”

The doorknob jiggled and before Kit could reach for it, the door swung open. Danny looked up at them both, a quizzical expression on his face. “Hi, Mr. Lawrence. Did you find my basketball shoes, Mom?”

Roxanne forced a smile. “I haven’t had a chance, honey. Mr. Lawrence just stopped by and he was helping me clean the closet. But we’ll find them, won’t we, Mr. Lawrence?”

“Yeah,” Kit said.

A scream reverberated through the house, a scream that Kit recognized as Jenna. Roxanne moaned softly, then slipped out of the closet, leaving him to make the explanations to Danny. “Well, should we look for your basketball shoes?”

“Was my mom crying?” Danny asked.

Kit frowned. “Why would she be crying?”

“She goes in the closet every morning and cries,” he explained. “She says she’s cleaning the closet, but I don’t think she is, ’cause she never takes the vacuum cleaner in.”

“What does she cry about?”

Danny shrugged. “Don’t know. Last week she didn’t go in there. I sure hope she’s not sad again.”

“I hope not, either.” He ruffled the boy’s hair. “Find your shoes. Your ride will be here soon.”

“My mom has to drive me today. There’s no car pool on Fridays. But she has to get everyone ready first, ’cause they all have to go along.”

“How about if I drive you to school?” Kit suggested.

Danny’s eyes lit up and he nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah. That would be cool. I have show-and-tell today. Can I take you? You can tell everyone about your swimming pool.”

“Why don’t we try to come up with something a little better?” Kit stepped to the bottom of the stairs and called out for Roxanne. A few seconds later, she appeared, a sobbing Jenna in her arms. “If it’s all right, I can drop Danny at school.”

She stared at him for a long moment. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. And I’ll call you tonight. Maybe the kids can come over to swim again?”

“Maybe,” she said softly.

He winked at her, then turned to Danny. “Come on. If we get there a little early, you can show me your classroom.”

They walked out to Kit’s car, which was parked on the street just down from Roxanne’s house. He unlocked the door for Danny and then made sure he buckled his seat belt. When Kit got inside, he looked over at the boy. “You’ll have to show me how to get there.”

“It’s not too far. I could walk, but my mom doesn’t like me crossing the streets alone. But when I’m bigger, I’m going to walk.”

Kit pulled out into traffic, then steered the car around the block and followed Danny’s directions.

“I’m glad you’re driving me to school.”

“And why is that?”

“When Mom drives me, she always makes me kiss her goodbye and everyone watches.”

Kit smiled. Funny how he had a completely different attitude about Roxanne’s kisses. As far as he was concerned, she could kiss him whenever and wherever. “She loves you. I’d say you were a pretty lucky guy to have such a great mom. She takes very good care of you.”

Danny shrugged. “I guess. But she’s gotta stop kissing me all the time.”

“Would you like me to have a little talk with her? I could suggest that she saves the kisses for when no one else is around.”

A smile brightened his face. “Would you? That would be really, really good,” Danny said. “I’m afraid if I say something she might cry.”

“Does she cry a lot?”

“She used to. She said it’s because my dad went away.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

Danny considered his answer for a long moment. “I don’t remember him much. He left when I was four. And now I’m six.”

“You handle things pretty well around the house. You take good care of your brother and sisters.”

“They’re a big pain,” Danny said.

“Yeah, but they’re your brother and sisters and that counts for something.”

“I guess.” Danny looked over at Kit, a frown on his face. “Do you like my mom?”

The question was asked as if it was the most logical course of conversation and it took Kit by surprise. “Yeah. I guess I do. No, I do. I really like her a lot.”

“There’s a girl in my class who likes me,” he said. “She keeps saying we’re gonna get married, but I tell her that I don’t like her. I’m never gonna like girls.”

“You say that now, but I think you’ll change your mind. Girls can be pretty neat. I mean, hanging out with the guys is all right. But girls are different. They’re really nice.”

Danny made a face. “They always wanna kiss me. Yuck.”

“Well, that’s not so bad, either-when you’re older.”

“You kissed my mom,” he said. “I saw you.”

Kit chuckled. “You did.”

“My mom likes you, too. I can tell. She’s always smiling at you.”

“I like it when she smiles,” Kit said.

“Yeah,” Danny said. “Me, too.”

“AND AFTER THE KIDS went to bed we sat on the couch, with all the lights off, and we just kissed…and kissed…and kissed. It made me feel so young. As if he was my first boyfriend.” Roxanne pressed her hands to her warm cheeks, trying to hide the blush that she knew was there. “We do everything, but…you know. It’s so hard not to go any further.”

“Yeah,” Renee said. “Because he’s too embarrassed to buy condoms from the drugstore and you’re afraid that all your high school friends will think you’re easy. Geez, Rox, you’re grown-ups. You can have sex if you want.”

“No, we can’t. The kids are always upstairs. I couldn’t possibly let things get out of control. Besides, it’s only been a month.” Roxanne sighed, still remembering the feel of his hands on her skin, the sensation of his palm cupping her breast. With each evening they spent together, they took another step toward the inevitable.

Her life was a routine again, but this was a routine that Roxanne had come to crave. Over the past month, she’d settled into her job at the station, working Tuesdays and Thursdays. While she was gone for the day, an elderly lady from the neighborhood watched the children. Most evenings, Kit would come over for dinner or she’d take the kids to his house and they’d swim. On the occasional night he was out of town on business, she found herself at a loss, reaching for the phone to call him for the silliest little things and unable to sleep until he called her to say good-night.

“Why don’t you ask that sitter you hired to stay late some day? You and Kit could go out on a real date.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” Roxanne murmured. “You know what really scares me?”

“That when he’s got you in the bedroom, he’ll recoil in horror at your stretch marks? God, that’s what I’d be afraid of.”

“No!” Roxanne cried, the sudden image searing into her brain. “I-I never even thought about that-until now. Oh God, I’ve had four children. He’s probably only ever slept with single, svelte, non-mothers.” Roxanne pulled up her shirt. “I wonder if I could cover them with makeup.”

“Yeah, and when he’s running his tongue along your belly he gets a mouthful of Cover Girl. That’s romantic.” Renee shrugged. “So what are you afraid of?”

“Everything now,” Roxanne said.

“No, tell me. I promise I won’t open my big mouth again.”

Roxanne paused, hesitant to voice her apprehension. It would sound so stupid. “I’m afraid of it being too good.”

“How can it possibly be too good? Unless, of course, you die of cardiac arrest midorgasm.”

“With John, I was so in love, I didn’t see who he really was. I thought I had found the man of my dreams. The sex was so good. Then we got married and had kids and the passion just seemed to fade away. Then he found someone else.”

“You had sex with John before you got married? You told me you were a virgin until your wedding night.”

“You were my younger sister,” Roxanne said. “What was I supposed to tell you?”

“Does Mom know?”

“Can we stay on subject here? I’m afraid that the same thing is going to happen with Kit. We’ll be intimate and then I’ll make the same mistake, thinking that he’s the love of my life and I can’t live without him.”

“Then there’s only one thing to do,” Renee said. “Just use him for sex.”

Roxanne gasped, then was forced to stifle a giggle. “I couldn’t do that.”