I stumble from Geist’s. I have no money for a hackney, and the local trains have stopped running. All I’ve got are my own two feet, and the distance is long. It’s dark now, besides, and the night is further obscured by an icy spitting rain. Few travelers or carriages take up the road, and none that pass trouble themselves with me.
After one too many stumbles, I break the heels off my shoes as easily as snapping chicken bones. They’re ruined anyway, from the muddy gutters. I send the heels sailing into an alley. Good riddance. I’ll never wear heels again for the rest of my life.
Soon the roads widen and the spaces between buildings open as I leave the city behind. There are miles of darkness before me. I want to rest, but I push on, hurrying and then slowing to catch my breath before picking up pace again. After a while my legs ache with the desire to stop, and it is only my anxious energy that vaults me forward, onward, charged with no greater impulse than to run.
“Jennie!” The sound of my name slices the night and stops me cold. My skin is a thousand pinpoints of prickling dread. I’d convinced myself to fear neither the dark nor the journey, but his voice is a bullet ripped clean through my body.
Standing in the shadows by the bridge, he has been watching my approach. Waiting for me. I slow.
“Where are you coming from? Why did you leave the house? Jennie, you’ve missed everything. The entire dinner, even the baked Alaska, which was a splendid sight. By the time I left, they’d moved onto dancing.”
“I…had to go.”
“Go where? You’ve been gone for hours.” Quinn steps forward. His evening clothes are impeccably tailored to his body. Combed and pressed and clean-shaven, the moon reflects him as exquisitely groomed as I’ve ever seen. He is the Quinn I used to know.
For a split second I’m sorry I couldn’t have witnessed him at tonight’s party. It is easy to imagine him presiding at the table. His princely manners, his tapered fingers balancing the stem of his champagne glass as he raised it in toast. I can hear the gale of laughter that would follow one of his reposts. I can feel the flat of his hand on the small of my back as we might have danced, later. The collective flush of all the other girls’ envy as I sailed through the night on his arm.
I’ve come to a standstill. Quinn continues to advance. Courtly, cordially, as if he might request a waltz. “Dearest Fleur, if you’d had any trepidation about this party, you might have given me fair warning. As it was, Mother told the guests you came down with a sick headache.”
“I’ll have to remember to thank her.” My voice sounds girlish and scared.
Quinn stops close enough that I see the glint in his eyes, silver and uncomprehending. The injured eye, almost healed, has taken on an unfixed and cloudy focus. Quinn had once confessed that it hardly diffuses more than light and dark.
Suddenly it is this eye that frightens me most an eye gone nearly dead that keeps up a pretense of functioning. An eye that stares at me but sees nothing. I jump back as he takes a step forward. A fresh patter of rain blows in on us, briefly blinding.
“But I don’t understand. What made you go away? Did one of those absurd Wortleys slight you?”
“No…” I realize I am too scared to speak.
“You can’t imagine my frustration to come home and not find you anywhere. Mavis said that when she saw you on the stairs, you looked pretty as a painting. I thought you might be taking a walk around the pond. But your hair, your frock and what’ve you done with your beautiful new shoes?” The concern in his voice has an edge of suspicion now.
The entire journey from Boston I’d throbbed with fury and outrage. But the confrontation is not so simple. I am besieged by so many conflicting emotions: apprehension, disgust, exhaustion, anger, fear and above all, the rush of need to escape Quinn’s presence.
“L-let me pass,” I stammer, pushing forward, but he blocks me.
“Jennie, what’s happened? I’ve been quite heartsick with worry these past hours. And something is undeniably wrong.”
“Let me pass,” I repeat. “I’m returning to the house to collect the only thing I’ve ever cared about. And then I’m leaving.”
“Leaving? Why? And why are you looking at me like that?”
It’s no use pretending. I square myself in his eye, my voice breaking thin from my lips. “The photograph,” I manage. “Locke’s photograph, all six of you. Curtis, Dearborn, you…the one you were looking for last week,” I add.
Caught off guard, he remains composed. “Yes,” he answers simply after a moment. “Yes, you’re right. You’ve found irrefutable evidence though you know nothing of the context in which that photo was taken.”
“Tell me, then.”
His voice is even, neither kind nor unfriendly, and his face is inscrutable his cardplayer’s face. “First you tell me this. What prompted you to go running off into the night searching for an item whose very existence you could have known nothing about?”
“When I realized that Will’s confession was really yours,” I answer. “Your script changed when you began to reuse your left hand. That’s what had confused me.”
“Your eyes have gone so cold, Jennie. Why do I feel tried and hanged already?”
“Why shouldn’t I suspect you?” I cry. “Ever since you came home, you’ve been polluting me with your lies. You lied to Nate that you and I were engaged. You lied that Will was a dishonorable soldier. You invented his role in a gang of thieves and murderers. You’ve come back home wearing your brother’s skin so that you could steal your brother’s life and everything in it. But that wasn’t enough for you, because you even wanted to tamp out the honor of his memory. What a low and filthy thing to do. It is beyond reproach, Quinn. It’s beyond anything I could have conceived, of you or anyone.”
“Certainly, if that’s how you wish to see it,” he answers me. “Yes, fine, I took on what had been Will’s. I did. But only because he would have wanted it that way. For he knew it’s what I’d wished for so badly.”
“Nate thought it was you who’d been hanged,” I realize out loud. “He was referring to Will, not you, when he spoke about the ‘stuckup brother.’ It never made sense to me that Nate and Will would have been friends but that’s because they weren’t. Nate was your friend. What I can’t see in this nightmare is why Will is not here, and you are.”
Quinn stands like a soldier and he delivers his words simply, belying their weight. “I’d written you my last thoughts in that letter. All of it was straight from my heart. I gave that letter to Nate Dearborn, and I told him to find you. I needed for you to know how I felt about you before they killed me.” His gaze seems fixed into another time.
“But what about Will? What happened to Will?” I am pleading.
“Enough about Will.”
“I won’t stop until ”
“ Will is gone and you refuse to believe ”
“ until you allow him the dignity ”
“ Dammit, Jennie, I swear sometimes you nag me worse than Mother.”
“But I wouldn’t if you didn’t act so furtive and guilty, as if you’ve got ”
“Enough!” His hand whip cracks my cheek.
“Oh!” I reel back, my head snapping against the bridge guardrail as I stumble to my knees. Pain shudders and pings down my neck and arms.
I touch my lips. Blood mingles with rainwater.
Quinn has moved above me, his temper recovered and in check. “What have I done? Forgive me, please, Jennie. I’m not in command of myself. The morphine…and the wine…” Hands on my shoulders, he pulls me up and tries to press me close. A thought grips me cold: perhaps Quinn is insane. I must reason with him carefully.
“I want to know,” I say, “so that I might come to my own conclusion.”
My blood goes cold at his tone. So reasonable, so pleasant, as if he’s worked out every piece of his madman’s logic. “My brother was too moral, too sanctimonious and pious for prison. He was unable to do what was necessary to survive, to thrive. He threatened to turn us all in… I had to do it if I were to stay alive and get out. To come home to you.”
My image of Will at the poker table, free and insouciant, mists away. Now I see brothers arguing over crimes, a locket lost, a girl back home. “Had to do what?”
“We fought. I didn’t mean to. But I was angry, he was angry, we hadn’t slept in days, hadn’t had a warm meal or proper bed…I can’t say who started it. I was in a fury how dare he preach morality? How dare he call us traitors? We just wanted to survive. To survive that hell.”
“What happened?” My voice is a whisper.
“He lunged at me, pulled a knife on me. I hadn’t meant to finish him, but he’d gouged my eye and I couldn’t see, I couldn’t think, not in the moment. My hands around his neck did more damage than I expected. So there, I’ve said it. In war, Fleur, we are not in our right minds…” Quinn’s fingers are trembling slightly as they brush my bloodied lip.
I shake him off. The rain is sloshing on my skin and inside my head. “You killed him.” My nightmares, the strangling Will had been warning me. It is all so stunningly, horrifically clear. I step back. “You killed your own brother.”
“You’re exhausted right now. You’re hearing this story but not the nuances of it. Tomorrow you’ll feel differently. Truly, you could learn to love me. We’d purchase ourselves an entirely new and better life. We’ll refurbish Pritchett House exactly to your liking, for there’ll be plenty of money just as soon as we’re married.”
“Plenty of money as soon as we’re married…” I repeat softly.
He flinches.
“Quinn? What do you mean?” I press. “Do I have money? Of my own?”
“You do have some, yes,” he answers. “A tiny bit that’s coming to you when you turn eighteen. Father is the executor of your trust, and he didn’t think you needed to know, or you’d start grasping for it. But it could be drawn if we were wed, as I’m of legal age.”
“This is the first I’ve heard of a trust.”
“What does it matter? Mine would become yours, yours would become mine. As it happens with any husband and wife.”
The blow to my head is taking its toll. I blink, dizzy, my knees seem to lack strength, my vision blurs.
My own money. A “tiny bit.” Yet significant enough that nobody has ever confided it to me.
It is too much deception, all at once. I’m all out of fight. I lean back against the struts of the bridge, as far away as I can get from Quinn without inciting him.
“Jennie, it’s not a queen’s ransom, believe me. Besides, I’d love you if you didn’t have a penny.” Quinn closes the space between us. “How can you doubt my love? Think of it this way. It was the luckiest thing in the world for both of us that you’d thought Will wrote that stupid confession. On some level of your unconscious mind, I think perhaps you secretly wanted Will to have written it, to absolve me. To put the war behind us and start fresh. With me.”
“No, that’s madness…” Uttering this word, I am fearful of it, for it seems too apt a description.
Quinn waves me off. He speaks with utter conviction. “I’d assumed you’d gone a bit off anyway. Burying your own necklace, drawing on the windows. I wanted to help you. I still do.” His hands grip my shoulders in entreaty. “In time, I’d hoped, you’d grow to love me for it.”
The necklace, the heart, the presence in Pritchett House. All along, Will has been trying to warn me. “You were never going to tell the truth,” I realize aloud. “You’d have taken this secret of yours to your death.”
Quinn’s grip intensifies. “You promised we’d be happy again,” he says. “You promised.”
“With you?” I have to laugh. Unwise, I gauge, too late.
“Have you been playing with me all along, then?” Something in him has died, gone empty. His tone is as cold as his eyes. “It makes me wonder, how could you have cared for me at all if you can turn venomous so quickly? I’ve been a fool.” He releases my shoulders to catch my wrists with hands rough as rope. “Suppose it’s a mistake we’ll both have to live with.” He shoves me back, as if shaking out a handkerchief. “Not that yours will be a particularly long life.” As my spine slams against the guardrail, fresh pain breaks through my body. “But I’ll think of you a little, Fleur. I promise I will.”
“You’re hurting me!” But he won’t stop. “Let’s go home,” I find myself saying. Pleading. “Where it’s warm and dry, and we can talk like sensible beings.”
Quiet astonishment passes into his face as he considers this. If there is a moment when he hinges between this suggestion and another action, it is far too short. His brother, ever the rescuer, steadfast in his desire to do right by his loved ones, hadn’t realized what he was up against. He had been the same young man right to the end. And the Quinn standing before me now was the same Quinn. The beast he always was. Determined to have everything he wanted and sure that he was entitled to it.
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