Tymber Dalton - Pinch Me

The large, gaping void of her memory was still there. Now, however, it felt like a safe, sturdy outcropping had suddenly appeared, holding the treasured memories safely in place, no longer swirling and lost in the abyss with so much else.

He opened his arms to her and she collapsed against him, sobbing again. “I said yes,” she whispered. “I said yes and he pulled the necklace from his pocket and put it on me right then. He’d bought it a few days earlier to have it in case he ever got the chance to be with me.”

Tony gently stroked her back. “Go on,” he urged.

“We…” She stumbled, the memory a little blurry for a moment until locking firmly in place. “You and Shay stepped out for a few minutes,” she said. “He promised to own up to mistakes, that he’d never violate a safeword, and he’d never lie to me. Then he admitted he thought he was falling in love with me.”

She closed her eyes. “We hadn’t had sex yet. And he promised to wait as long as it took, that he wouldn’t pressure me to do anything I didn’t want to do, and that he wouldn’t control who I could or couldn’t see or talk to, as long as I never lied to him.”

Her eyes flew open. “Oh, shit!”

He laughed. “Yeees?”

She sat up, feeling heat fill her cheeks. Her hand flew to her mouth as she stared at Tony. His green eyes twinkled with devilish amusement.

“You came in to tell us dinner was ready and caught me giving him a blow job. I’d pushed him onto one of the spanking benches and yanked his zipper down.”

He nodded, roaring with laughter. “Yes, you definitely weren’t in a mood to wait. Lucky for you, he’s perfectly happy with having a sexually aggressive submissive.”

Her hand didn’t move from her mouth. “Holy crap.”

He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sweetie, in the past couple of years, believe me, that’s one of the tamest things I’ve seen the two of you do at our private parties.”

She finally dropped her hand. “That’s what Shay meant.” She realized she was calling her Shay now.

“Meant by what?”

“In the hospital, after the chaplain had left, I asked her if I was religious. She made a comment about…” She laughed. “Now I understand.”

Tony smirked. “I’ve heard a lot of, ‘Oh, gods!’ come from you group of ladies. And some of the men.”

She nodded, still laughing. “Yeah. I get it now. And now I get why she looked freaked out. Like she’d spilled the beans.”

“Please don’t be angry at Rob. Or Shay. Just like with the poly stuff, he didn’t want to overwhelm you. I told her to handle this however Rob thought was best. That’s what we all did.”

Laura felt tears close again. It still surprised her that her moods could swing so wildly. “I’m not upset. I get it.”

He glanced at his phone. “Speaking of, wait here.” He got up and walked a few yards away before answering his phone and talking. After a few minutes, he ended the call and returned. He held out a hand to her. “Come on.”

She let him help her up. “Where to?”

“Home. My home. Rob gets off at six and he’s going to come straight to my house for dinner after he walks Doogie.”

A few more memories piggybacked on top of what she’d just rediscovered. As she looked out the passenger window while Tony drove, she considered all of it.

It all felt right.

It didn’t tell her who attacked her, and it didn’t give her back the bulk of her relationship with Rob, but it did make a few things flip into a different perspective that felt right. That had felt desperately missing in a way she hadn’t been able to put her finger on before that moment.

To her, that was every bit as important as regaining all of her memories.

It also left her with a sense of peace she’d known had been missing in her life, but that she had attributed to her fear over the attacker still wandering around out there somewhere.

The overwhelming feeling that something besides her memories was missing.

She’d been missing her Master.

She no longer felt alone.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.

Yes, the fear still hung there, dark and foreboding without memories to light the mass from below.

Now, however, instead of feeling like she walked along the edge of a crumbling cliff, risking a deathly plunge into the abyss, she felt securely tethered to a rock that wouldn’t move.

Tethered heart and soul to Rob.

And to her adopted kinky kin.

Another deep breath filled her lungs with hope every bit as much as it did with air. No, she wasn’t alone now. Her parents were dead, and she had Steve, Carol, and Bill, among others.

But her family, the ones she knew would drop everything to rush to her side, the ones she would do the same for, they were back in her heart, if not completely in her memories yet.

She had enough. She had enough to remember them, the love she had for all of them and the love she knew they had for her, and for Rob.

The trust they had for Rob to take care of her. To love her. To treat her well.

And she knew if they all had that kind of faith in him, so would she.

Shayla wasn’t home yet and wouldn’t be for at least an hour. He walked down to their bedroom and closed himself in to call her, leaving Laura alone in the living room.

She sat on the floor while Bagel and Cream, Tony and Shayla’s cats, crawled all over her, head-butting her chin and rubbing their heads against her hands in their search for attention.

“Doogie’s going to be all over you when you get home.” She’d been sitting with her back to the hallway and Tony’s voice startled her a little.

She looked over her shoulder at him and caught the smile on his face. He’d changed out of his jeans and work shirt into shorts and a T-shirt.

“He’ll get over it. He’s smelled them before…”

There was that head cock again as Tony watched her. Finally, when she didn’t speak, he asked, “Another memory?”

“Sort of.” She gave the cats one last scratch each before gently moving them from her lap so she could stand. “Some things aren’t really memories, but when I say them it just feels right. Does that make sense?”

“I’m not a psychiatrist.”

She thought about the appointment she’d been putting off making with Dr. Simpson. “I need to make another appointment with my shrink.”

He nodded. “That would be the prudent thing to do.”

She blurted it out. “What if I don’t like who I was…before?”

He cocked his head the other direction. “I doubt that’s going to be a problem. We all love you. Think of it this way. If you do find out stuff about yourself that you’re not happy with, this is the perfect opportunity to make changes that will make you happy.”

“Will Rob love the new me?”

He’d started walking toward the kitchen but stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. “Sweetie,” he gently said, “Rob already loves you. I don’t think there’s much you could do to make him stop loving you.”

* * *

Laura felt more familiarity coming back as she helped Tony get dinner ready. To the point she was about to playfully run him out of the kitchen to get him out of her way when he recognized what was going on.

“You think you’ve got this under control?” he teased.

“Yeah, I think I can make baked ziti without help.”

He grinned and took his glass of iced tea to one of the barstools pushed under the counter, where he took a seat to watch her. “Then go for it, missy.”

She giggled, another memory falling into place. It had been his nickname for her once she wore his collar of protection. And still was. “Yes, Sir,” she teased right back.

That got a full-throated laugh out of him. He held his glass up in a mock toast. “Now that was a great thing to hear come out of your mouth. I was wondering if we ever would.”

They talked while she cooked. The few times she fumbled and paused, unable to remember where something was, he waited until she asked for prompting instead of jumping in to save her.

It didn’t escape her notice that she was more familiar with their kitchen than she’d been with the one at her condo, at first.

“I spend a lot of time here with Shay, didn’t I?”

“You do. It’s been weird not having everybody together like we’re used to.”

She stopped, hands braced on the counter. “I’m sorry,” she quietly said before another storm of tears surprised her.

He rounded the counter to hug her. “I didn’t mean it like that. We just—”

“Didn’t want to overwhelm me.”

“Yeah.” He made her look up at him. “Rob asked us to keep the BDSM stuff from you. And of course we did it. Because we were all willing to do whatever it took to help him and you.”

“I hope this gets easier.”

“I wish I had an answer for you there.”

“Can we go to the club this weekend?”

He pursed his lips. She realized she recognized the expression but wasn’t sure what it meant. Finally, he said, “That’s up to Rob. I’m thinking no. It’s too soon.”

“But what if it helps me get my memory back?”

“But what if it doesn’t, and overwhelms you?” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Look, I’ll talk to everyone. Maybe we can have a private party here Saturday night. I’m sure Shayla will be up for it. That way, it’s a small, controlled environment, and you and Rob can have privacy as you need it.”

She nodded.

Shayla rushed in from work and practically knocked Laura over as she threw her arms around her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. Sorry I borrowed Tony.”

“Hey, it’s all right.” Shayla frowned. “Did anything else come back?”

“I think enough did. For now.” She took a deep breath. “For starters. It has to be enough.”

Shayla went to put her things away and change clothes. As her friend reappeared in a tank top and shorts, with a leather collar locked around her neck, Laura once again reached up to her own throat.

She felt naked despite her clothes.

The irony did not escape her.

Tony watched her. “You all right?”

She slowly shook her head. “No.” She felt tears welling up in her eyes again and silently cursed her inability not to cry. “He took my day collar. That fucker stole it.” She walked over to where they kept a roll of paper towels hanging under the upper cabinets and ripped off a couple of sheets. Angrily, she blew her nose.

Tony rounded the counter, but didn’t touch her. “Do you remember him?”

She froze as she realized why he’d asked it, but another wave of frustration washed through her. “No.” She blew her nose again. “I can’t remember a face. Just that it was a guy.” She thought about it some more. “Shorter than Rob but taller than me.”

They watched her, not interrupting.

She closed her eyes and the memory of opening her front door and having it shoved open, surprising her, came to mind. But the person in the doorway still remained a large, human-shaped shadow.

“That’s all,” she finally said. “I did open the door for him. He caught me by surprise when I did, but I don’t remember him.”

* * *

Rob forced himself not to speed. Once Tony had convinced him Laura was safe and with them, and that they wouldn’t let her out of their sight until he got there, he calmed down.

Tony’s latest text indicated she’d remembered a few more things but didn’t elaborate.

Recriminations swam through his mind. I should have told her. I should have been up front with her.

Would she now hate him for holding so much back, regardless of his reasoning?

He felt the bulk of her play collar in his pocket, rubbing against his leg. Had he totally botched their future together? Should he have severed ties with all their kinky friends until she’d decided if she even wanted him?

He would have hated doing that, but he’d do anything for her.

It was nearly seven when he pulled into their driveway behind Laura’s truck and parked. He didn’t bother knocking when he got there, going straight inside.

The three of them were standing in the kitchen talking. As soon as Laura saw him, he started to say something but she flew into his arms, crying, clinging to him.

Tony walked over and grabbed his upper arm. “Come on.”

He was shocked when Tony led them through the laundry room into the playroom that sat just off the garage.