“You don’t believe that.”
“Oh, but I do. I know that one day. … You’ll be surprised. It will all have been worthwhile.”
“I want to go home in time for the baby.”
“We’ll be home long before it comes.”
What was the use? The lure of gold held him so firmly that it would never let him go. It would always be thus. And if we were at home he would gamble as he had before we came. There was no way out.
I had married a gambler and I was no longer in love with him. I loved someone else—again unwisely and this time too well.
I wished I could have confided in Morwenna but I could not. She would never have understood. Besides, it would make her unhappy, and she was so contented now.
Lizzie had become mistress of Golden Hall. She begged Morwenna to stay.
“I suggested leaving,” Morwenna told me. “It is different now. I ought to go. I am quite well and the baby is strong and healthy. I ought to be in my own home. Lizzie flung her arms round me. She is a most affectionate creature. One can’t help loving her. It’s good to be with her, Angelet. Ben is so gentle with her and as for old Mr. Morley he has slipped into a sort of contentment.”
So Morwenna stayed on at the Hall. Justin went often to dine there. I had not been since the wedding. I supposed I should have to go one day. But not yet. The betrayal was too recent.
Then Mr. Morley died.
His servants went into his bedroom one morning and found that he had died peacefully in his sleep. It was as though, now that he was assured that Lizzie would be cared for, he had quietly departed from this life.
So Mrs. Bowles was right. There was another funeral. Poor Lizzie! She had been all in white and now she was all in black. She had been devoted to her father and now, from complete bliss, she had been dashed into sorrow.
“I am so glad Ben is with her,” said Morwenna. “He is a great comfort to her.”
A message came to me from Ben by way of Morwenna.
She said to me: “Ben asked how you were. He said he had not seen you for some time.”
“Oh … no, I suppose not,” I replied.
“He said that it was a long time since you had ridden. He wants you to know that Foxey is always at your disposal.”
“I don’t get time,” I said shortly.
Morwenna said: “I feel so guilty living here. I ought to come home.”
“Home! Oh, you mean the shack. Don’t be a fool, Morwenna. How could Pedrek live in such a place? You have to stay there for his sake.”
“That’s what I tell myself, but I feel I’m cheating really. Angelet, I don’t know how you stand it. I wish you could come to Golden Hall.”
“How could I?”
“I am sure Lizzie would love to have you.”
“What? As a permanent guest?”
“It just makes me feel guilty. And there is Justin … I should be with him.”
“He is glad you are there. He knows it is best for you.”
“How I wish they could find enough gold to satisfy them and we could go home.”
“Home!” I said wistfully. But I was beginning to believe that I should be no happier there than here. I had been foolish. I had believed him. I had allowed myself to be caught in a snare and now I was trapped.
Then suddenly it all became clear to me.
I received the news, as usual, through Mrs. Bowles.
“You’ve heard, of course.”
“Heard what?” I asked.
“The find.”
“Find? Whose?”
“Gold. On Morley’s land. Well, it’s Ben’s and Lizzie’s now. They say that it’s already something bigger than anything that’s been known before throughout the length and breadth of Australia.”
“On Morley’s land?” I stammered.
“Yes. Do you know that creek … not so far from the house …”
The creek on Morley’s land. Memories came back … sitting there talking to Ben … listening to his avowal of love, watching the sunlight playing on the water of the creek.
“I … yes, I know.”
“Well, that’s where it is. Mr. Ben found it. It’s like that time in fifty-one when that man found six hundred ounces in a day in Ballarat. It was there in the creek … right on the surface … clear as daylight and no one seeing it till Mr. Ben came along. Trust him. Well, it’s a fortune for him now. I don’t reckon he’ll be here long. He’ll be off Home, that’s what.”
It was all becoming clear to me. This was why he had married Lizzie. He had discovered gold in the creek and from then on he had determined it should be his, no matter how he acquired it. What was there to choose between him and Gervaise? They were both the slaves to their Golden Goddess.
It eased my anger against myself, although it increased it towards him. I had been foolish but I could tell myself I had been fortunate in a way. Suppose I had succumbed, and only now I knew how near I had been to doing so … and then I had learned that I had linked my life with another gambler … a different kind it was true, a ruthless, successful one—but the motive was the same.
These men cared first for gold. Everything else came after that.
I heard myself saying to Mrs. Bowles that it was great good fortune.
I could not resist strolling up to the creek.
There were signs of activity. Shafts had already been set up. The peaceful scene was no more. It seemed a long time ago that I had sat there and he had told me he loved me.
I met him as I was coming away.
“Angel,” he said softly. “It’s ages since I’ve seen you.”
“The last time was at your wedding.”
He nodded.
“I hope you’ll be happy.”
“You know I won’t be.”
I raised my eyebrows. “I’ve heard to the contrary.”
He looked at me with longing and although it should not have, it raised my spirits.
I tried to pass him but he put out a hand and caught my arm. “I’d like to talk to you, Angel,” he said.
“Well, talk. But is there anything you have to say to me?”
“I didn’t want it to work out this way.”
“I thought your way was to make things go the way you wanted them to.”
“This marriage …”
“You weren’t forced into it, were you?” I asked, I hoped ironically.
He was silent for a while, then he said: “You know I wanted you. I shall always want you.”
“Hardly what one expects to hear from the newly wedded husband.”
I was pleased with myself. I was doing well, acting flippantly when my heart was leaden, feigning indifference when I was more unhappy than I had ever been in my life before.
“You refused me.”
“How could I have done anything else? I am married and now you are … so that makes two of us. Why don’t we stop this senseless talk, and if that is all you have to say to me …”
“Wait a minute. I must tell you …”
“Let me say Congratulations. The whole town is talking of your discovery. You are the lucky one. That is what you came out for, isn’t it? You must feel gratified. You have achieved your purpose. I hear this discovery is one of the biggest ever.”
“Let me explain to you.”
“What is there to explain? You discovered there was gold on the land. That was why you were so eager to buy.”
“That’s true.”
“That day we talked … I remember your washing your hands in the creek. Something happened … I know it now. Was it then?”
He nodded. “I saw gold then … actually in the creek. If one could see it like that I knew there was a rich store.”
“You didn’t tell Mr. Morley.”
“He wouldn’t have done a thing. He hated the coming of the miners. He wanted to keep the land as it was.”
“It was his land.”
“If you had come to me … I begged you to … I would have abandoned all this …”
“I don’t believe you, Ben. You’re like the rest of them. You’re suffering from the same fever … gold fever. You would never have given up the search for it … especially when you had this evidence.”
“You remember when we sat here … You remember the day I discovered there was gold in the creek. It was after that day that I asked you to come home with me. I would have gone home with you then.”
“After you had helped yourself to the gold here.”
“Listen to me, Angel. I came out here to find it. I vowed I would not go home until I had made my fortune. But I would have gone … if you had come with me.”
“After you had bought this land … After you had unearthed its treasure.”
“Well, I should have been a fool not to.”
“Yes, you would have been a fool, and you would never be that, Ben. There was only one way you could get that land, wasn’t there? By marrying for it.”
“If you had come with me I should never have married Lizzie. I should never have got this land. I’ll be honest. I want the gold … but I wanted you more. I still do. I’d give it all up for you.”
I laughed at him. “I’m not a gullible girl any more, Ben. I understand your ways … and all those of the men here … or most of them. This is an obsession. It’s a fever that takes possession of you all. You can’t break away from it.”
“I tell you this,” he said. “When I have what is on this land …”
“The land you bought through your marriage?”
“I mean this land … I will go home and never want to see another piece of gold.”
“There is no need to tell me all this. I know you, Ben, now. I didn’t before. It is my fault for being so naive.”
“Angel …”
“Goodbye, Ben. There is nothing we have to say to each other now.”
“Angel,” he called as I turned away. “I must see you sometimes …”
“I don’t think you should.”
“You are afraid of your feelings for me.”
I turned on him angrily. “This is a small community. I should hate there to be gossip. It would hurt Lizzie. She is the innocent one in all this, isn’t she? The lamb delivered up for slaughter.”
“Lizzie is very happy now,” he said. “And I intend that she shall remain so.”
“Let us hope she never discovers she was married for a gold mine. Goodbye.”
“If you care to ride Foxey … she is always at your disposal.”
“Thank you,” I said coldly and turned away.
My emotions were in a turmoil.
I wondered how all this would end.
The weeks were passing. There were only five months to go before my child was born. I thought that already it was getting rather late to leave. Even in my present condition I should not fancy the jostling of the Cobb’s coach to Melbourne and the long sea voyage.
I consulted Mrs. Bowles.
“Another little baby!” she cried. “Well, that is good news. I’ll guarantee yours will be easy. I know just by looking at a girl. Now, Mrs. Cartwright, I knew as soon as I saw her that she was going to have a bit of trouble. But you … you’ll be right as rain.”
That optimism which I had noticed when One-Eye and Cassidy had had their find, settled on the township. One person’s luck must mean that others could share in it because if there were alluvial deposits so near the surface on neighboring land it must mean that there were others nearby. It was a reminder that this was indeed gold country.
Gervaise and Justin were working feverishly; at the end of each day the story was the same. Maybe tomorrow will be our lucky day.
“Trust Ben Lansdon,” said Justin enviously. “He hasn’t done too badly in the past and then he alights on this.”
“He had to marry Lizzie Morley to get it,” I said waspishly.
“Well, never mind how he got it,” replied Justin. “He knew the gold was there. That’s what everyone says. That’s why he took on Lizzie. I’ve heard it said that Morley made a bargain with him before he died. Take Lizzie and you get the land.”
“Do you believe that?” I asked.
“Well, it seems to have worked out that way, doesn’t it? He was desperately trying to buy the land … offering a fantastic price, so I understand. Then he gets it through marriage and, hey presto, Gold.”
“Well, I suppose it does seem rather obvious.”
“Ben won’t mind. As long as he achieves his object he’ll be ready to pay the price.”
There was more talk about gold than ever in the past. The men were constantly discussing veins and placers. Veins, Gervaise told me, were like other deposits of metals. In the alluvial deposits—the placers—the metal was found embedded in the soil usually in chambers worn away by water. The fact that it was actually discovered in the creek must show that it was very plentiful in that spot. That was what had aroused Ben’s excitement.
I had watched the men panning many times. There was a special method of doing it—a certain shaking and twisting and gyrating movement, and great care had to be taken to wash away the soil and lose none of the precious metal which might be there.
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