One thing I’m glad of is that Grace has taken to Lizzie and Lizzie to her. It’s a very good thing. Grace has made herself into a sort of chaperone … helps her choose her clothes and things, bolsters her up. In fact, I think she is making herself invaluable to both Lizzie and Ben. I think Ben is grateful to her. It’s good for Grace, too. I think she is a little lonely sometimes. It has always been my opinion that she would like to marry again. After all, it is so long since Jonnie died. She has mourned long enough. But no one has turned up yet. So this looking after Lizzie has been a blessing to Grace as well as to Lizzie herself.

I am so looking forward to seeing Angelet and Rebecca.

My love to you all.


While my mother was reading the letter I was thinking of Ben … back in London, his mission accomplished.

I was a little apprehensive at the prospect of seeing him again but that feeling was quickly suppressed by an immense excitement.

Arriving in London we went first to the house in the square where we were greeted warmly by Aunt Amaryllis. Rebecca and Pedrek were duly admired and put to bed in the old nursery. There were two little beds, side by side for Amaryllis thought that as they were in a strange house they should be together in case they woke up in the night and were frightened.

We had brought Annie with us and Morwenna had May, Pedrek’s nursemaid. They would probably go back to Cornwall in due course when the nannies were engaged.

Justin and Morwenna were staying for the night. I was to remain until I was ready to go into my house.

It was wonderful to see them all and I was feeling better already. Helena and Matthew arrived with Geoffrey; Peterkin and Frances came too, and just as we were going in to dinner Ben came with Lizzie.

As soon as I saw him, looking taller and extremely healthy, his eyes against his bronzed skin even more blue than I remembered, I told myself that, knowing he was here, I should not have come. In Cornwall I had tried to put him out of my mind; but I should be quite unable to here.

“Angel,” he said. “How marvelous to see you!”

“Thank you, Ben. And Lizzie, too! It is good to see you, Lizzie.”

She smiled at me shyly and I kissed her.

“I did not expect you to be home so soon,” I said.

“I intended to come at the first possible moment,” he answered.

“Aunt Amaryllis did tell us that you would be here.”

“So you decided to come and take a look at me?”

“Well, actually I had already decided to come. It was only a few days ago that I heard you were here.”

“Well, here we are together at last.”

We went in to dinner. Uncle Peter, a little more silvery at the temples, but as distinguished as ever and looking extremely young for his years, was at the head of the table, beaming at us all; Aunt Amaryllis with her gentle unlined face at the other.

“So you are going to set up an office here,” said Uncle Peter to Justin.

“Yes,” replied Justin. “I shall get busy tomorrow.”

“I can introduce you to a few people who might be useful.”

Dear Uncle Peter, someone had once said he had a finger in every pie, and that was true. I thought of what he had done for Gervaise and me and even if he was a wicked old sinner, I was fond of him. I was sure he would be of considerable help to Justin and if ever he discovered Justin’s weakness he would not be censorious. One of the most lovable things about sinners like Uncle Peter was that they were lenient with other people’s foibles.

Peterkin and Frances talked a little about their Mission, and Geoffrey about the law which was going to be his profession; but the conversation was dominated by Uncle Peter and Ben, and politics was the chief topic.

I was very interested to hear them. Matthew had slavishly agreed with his father-in-law; Ben had no intention of agreeing with his grandfather. They were on opposing sides. Uncle Peter extolled the virtues of Disraeli who had just become Prime Minister on the retirement from office of Lord Derby. But William Gladstone was the man to whom Ben was hitching his wagon.

“Disraeli may have the ear of the Queen,” Ben was saying. “But Gladstone is the strong man. He will be Prime Minister, mark my words, and before long. And then he will be with us for a long time. Who is this man, Disraeli?”

“The cleverest politician on the scene at this moment,” retorted Uncle Peter. “The Queen realizes this and gives him her support.”

“But the government of this country does not rest with the Queen. It is an elected government and it is the people who decide. They’ll stand solid behind a strong man like Gladstone—not a fly-by-night like Disraeli.”

“This new Reform Bill will put nearly a million voters on the roll. Gladstone’s bill would have had only half that number.”

“Then,” said Ben, “we must see that the new voters vote for us.”

“No,” cried Uncle Peter. “We shall see that they vote for us.”

And so they went on, fiercely arguing, but with the utmost respect for each other throughout.

I found it stimulating … even on that first day and when I lay in bed that night I was still thinking of Ben in his splendid house with Lizzie who had hardly spoken a word throughout the entire evening; and I did wonder what the future would hold.

Within a week I was settled in my house. Amaryllis and Helena helped me choose a few servants and there was a nanny to help with Rebecca. My daughter was enchanted by London. She loved the parks. Rebecca had great charm. She believed that everyone loved her and consequently she loved everybody; she enjoyed life and could not help sharing that enjoyment. Each day I thanked God for her. She was remarkably like Gervaise; she had his nature, too, which had been a delightful one flawed only by that obsession which I was determined to see never took possession of Rebecca.

Morwenna, too, had settled in. Justin was happy and that was good enough for her; and the children were always eager to see each other.

One day, very soon after I had settled in, Ben came to see me. It was mid-morning, Annie had taken Rebecca to Morwenna’s house. She was going to spend the morning with Pedrek; and as I had planned to do some shopping, I was almost ready to go when Maggie, my new maid, came to tell me a gentleman had called to see me.

“Did he give his name?” I asked.

“Yes, Madam. Mr. Lansdon.”

I expected to see Uncle Peter.

“Ben!” I gasped.

“Well, don’t look so surprised. You knew I’d come to see you. It is wonderful that you are here.”

“Why?”

“What a question! Because what I want more than anything is to see you, is the answer.”

“Would you like some refreshment? Tea? Coffee? Wine?”

“No, thanks. To see you is refreshment enough for me.”

I laughed with an attempt at lightness.

“So the gold ran out and you came back.”

“I never intended to stay. No, it has not run out. There is a certain amount left.”

“But all the certainty has gone. Now it is more or less like any of the others, I suppose.”

“Better than that. I’ve left some for the others.”

“And sold at a good price?”

“A price the buyer thought it worth paying. But I didn’t come here to talk business.”

“What did you come to talk?”

“I just wanted to be with you.”

As he approached me I stepped back. “Nothing has changed,” I said.

“No, I suppose not,” he answered ruefully. “I have missed you so much. I think of you constantly. You remembered me perhaps?”

“There has been a lot to think of.”

“And now we are both in London.”

“I did not know you were here until I had made my plans to come.”

“Would it have made any difference if you had known before?”

“I don’t know.”

“Let’s stop talking around all this, shall we? I love you, Angel. I have from the first. When you were a little girl … Oh why were you only nine years old when we first met? If only it could have been different.”

“What are you complaining of? You got your mine. If you had married me, you wouldn’t have had that.”

“I know. You should have come to me before. … We would have come home. Gervaise would have divorced you …”

“You are very glib about other people’s divorces.”

“I know now,” he said, “that being with you, loving you … would have been more important to me than anything.”

“More so than the gold mine?”

“Yes. I’d have found some other way to fortune … just as my grandfather did. I am very like him. We think alike.”

“In politics?”

“Yes, in politics. It doesn’t matter if we are on different sides, I don’t mean opinions. I mean aims … the way we set about everything. There is no doubt that I am his grandson. And about us, Angel. Things haven’t worked out as we wanted them to. We were both in the wrong place when we should have been together. That’s how life goes. But if you don’t get exactly what you want you have to take something.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“That we love each other. We are here. It can’t be quite as we wished … but why shouldn’t we have something?”

“You mean some clandestine love affair?”

“I mean … something. We can’t just give everything up … because one of us isn’t free. First it was you … and now I am the one.”

“And Lizzie?”

“Ah, Lizzie. She is a good girl and very innocent. I could never leave Lizzie. I feel I have a duty to her. I have promised her father that I will always care for her. She needs care.”

“Your promise was a part of the price you paid for your gold mine.”

“Do you remember long ago … when we were on the moor together and you told me the story of the men in the tin mine who found gold? Those little people showed it them and the men made a bargain always to leave part of their findings to them? And they did?”

“Yes, I remember. It’s a well-known legend.”

“And when the sons failed … the gold failed, too.”

“Are you afraid that if you deserted Lizzie, the gold would fail? But you have finished with the gold. You have your fortune.”

“I mean that if I hurt her in any way I should lose something of myself … my self-respect, shall we say?”

“Oh, Ben, you have suddenly become very noble.”

“I have never been that, as you know. But try to understand my feelings for Lizzie.”

“You regard her as some sort of talisman … like the knackers in the mine who could make some evil befall you if you deserted her … But not so deeply that you would be prepared to have a degrading love affair with someone else … degrading to you … to me … and to Lizzie.”

“You are being over-dramatic.”

“No, Ben, I am not.”

“You love me, do you not?”

I hesitated.

“I know that you don’t want to answer because the answer is yes. You have never forgotten me.”

I said: “We did share a shattering experience. You know what happened a little while ago?”

“Yes, I heard of it. They found a watch or something with his initials on it. That must have been a shock for you.”

“I felt nothing more than relief at first. I had feared they would find Rebecca. She was lost and it was for that reason that they dragged the pool.”

“My poor Angel! What a terrible thing for you.”

“And all the time she was well. She had been taken by a woman who had lost her child and thought Rebecca was hers.”

He put his arms about me and for a few moments I allowed myself the luxury of laying my head against him.

Quickly I drew away.

I said: “I think, Ben, it would be better if we did not see each other … alone. We shall meet at the family gatherings, of course. That must be enough.”

“It will not be enough for me,” he said.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“We are having a dinner party next Wednesday. You have not seen my house yet. Do come.”

“Who will be there?”

“My grandfather and Amaryllis, of course, Helena and Matthew and friends. I am hoping to be adopted as candidate for Manorleigh which is in Essex. There are people I should get to know.”

I smiled knowledgeably.

He added: “Peterkin and Frances I hope will be there. They are, I fear, not very interested in these occasions.”

“But they are good for you,” I said. “Connections devoted to good works and all that.”

He smiled.

“Yes,” I said. “You are very like Uncle Peter.”

“Grace Hume has been very helpful. She has been very good on several occasions. Lizzie clings to her. Poor Lizzie, she loses her head and is sure everything is going wrong … and she is no good as a hostess … but with Grace there beside her she doesn’t do too badly.”